This story is a work of fiction. The characters and any conversations between them are completely fictional. This story will continue to be centred on a gay couple, but this is just the build up to said relationship. Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated as would storyline suggestions. I plan to get out one `Chapter' each week, and at some point there will be scenes of a 'sexual nature'.
Please email any feedback/suggestions to: saveatear@live.co.uk
Save a tear for Kye
Tears streamed down my face, emanating from my crystal blue eyes. I fumbled around in the glove compartment, slicing my left hand on a loose nail. I pulled out the small pill box that read `Morphine', and swallowed all 28 tablets that remained from my mom's hospital trip. I couldn't go on any longer, not like this.
I'd left the letters, I'd explained everything they needed to know... I was Gay. My mother was a homophobic religious nutcase, maybe she'd be happy that her gay son was burning in hell. That's all she ever used to go on about when Melanie, my sister, came out. That was when Dad died. The hospital said it was a heart attack. I know better; he couldn't handle the shame of having a gay daughter. I couldn't bear to put mom through that again. But more importantly, I don't think I'd be able to put myself through that...
I clutched the wheel harder. I'd hit the country road now, it wouldn't be long until I got there. I glanced at the speedometer. 90mph.
Country lanes zoomed by me, and in the distance the glow of an orange house radiated in the horizon. It was here. I'd been here before. There was a dip in the road, just before the house, and at the bottom of the dip there was a deep river. Deep enough to drown in.
The drowsiness kicked in just as I approached the dip. It was now or never. I grabbed the handbrake and pulled hard. I inhaled a deep breath and shut my eyes as the car span out of control. Orange light flicked beneath my eye lids. The screeching of hot rubber on tarmac echoed throughout my ears. I could feel gravity defying me. The car was toppling. It was upside down. Water seeped through the cracks in the windows and the door frame. Shadows consumed me.
There was nothing. Nothing at all. My eyes were hazy, and my chest was heaving. I could make out a face. It was a man, or rather a boy. He was about my age. He pressed down hard on my chest, again and again. His lips came to touch mine, and a hot breath was pushed down deep into my lungs. The feint sound of Ambulance sirens hummed in my ears. His lips came to touch mine again. My lungs coughed up deaths liquid that I had swallowed. My lips moved slowly, trying desperately to say something to my saviour. He leaned in closer, pointing his left ear towards my mouth. "Let me die", I whispered, as I slipped back into darkness.
Slowly coming around, I glared across the dark dismal room. I was in a hospital. I knew this hospital, it was only a mile from where I lived. We'd come here when Melanie had fractured her leg. I sat up slowly, as the pain in my lungs seemed to rip through my chest. My throat was dry and it had a slight taste of charcoal. "Great", I thought, they'd even managed to get the morphine out of my system. I glanced around the room. It was filled with old patients, and I could've sworn that at least three had already snuffed it.
"WHERE IN GODS NAME IS HE?!" echoed throughout the hospital corridors. My eyes darted back and forth throughout the small room, trying to find an escape. I knew that voice. I had to hide.
Footsteps ricocheted from the corridor walls as her heels savaged the cheap flooring. There was no escape for me though; my arms were tied down to the hospital bed. The small double doors at the end of the room shot open, and I could see a petite woman standing there.
She stood at about 5 foot nothing and wore the ugliest pink skirt imaginable, accompanied by a white cardigan and hot pink heeled shoes. Her eyes were jet black, any colour was stripped away by the aura of pure hatred that surrounded her. A shoulder-length bob protruded from her dead scalp, falling ever so elegantly onto her broad shoulders. Clutching a book in her hands, she made her way towards the hospital bed that I resided in. "THE BIBLE" was carved into the spine of the book.
"TUCKER ANTHONY HOGAN!" she screeched, her voice scratching the back of her throat as it was drawn out from the fiery depths of hell. "How could you do this to me?! Do you not realise suicide is a sin? Do you want to burn in hell?!?!"
"Mom, Please I..." I managed to utter.
"Oh. No. NO, NO, NO, NO! You do not get to ask for favours. I saw the letter and I've read it..." She trailed off, a clear sense of hurt in her voice. She composed her posture and continued on. "Look, Tucker, I cannot be living with a faggot in our household. In the bible, Leviticus 18:22 clearly states `Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.'"
"Mom..." I whispered, before a single tear rolled down my cheek. I shouldn't be here. I should be dead. Why did he save me? "I understand why you're hurt, but I can't change who I am!"
"Tucker, please. Do not give me that crap. Melanie has managed to cure her homosexuality! Why can't you?"
"I just tried to commit suicide... and you're more worried about me being Gay than dead?"
"Quite frankly, Tucker. Homosexuality is an abomination. And it is sick and twisted. It's not natural!"
"Mom... I'm sorry. I can't change it. If I could I would! Do you really think I'd choose a life of being bullied and hurt? Please. Understand me..." I grabbed her hand and intertwined my fingers through hers, the same that I'd been doing since I was 3 years old. 3 year old, an innocent and blue eyed creature, with no idea about what sexuality was.
"Are you saying you're not going to let God cure you?" she replied, sternly.
"No."
She looked me in the eye. A hard, empty stare. There was a sense of hesitation in her eyes, and for a second; sorrow. Glistening, her eyes pierced my soul as she spat six words that shattered my core.
"I do not have a son."
Tears streamed down my face. Similar to the night before. And the night before that. And the night before that. This was beginning to become a never ending cycle. I'd been sat in the hospital bed for 3 days. 3 days of not eating. 3 days of being kept under constant observation by the nurses. `Suicide Watch' they called it. It didn't matter anyway, there was nothing here that was in the slightest usable to kill oneself. Oh well, at least they'd finally removed the restraints. I pulled my knees close to my face, and quietly cried. There was no love left anymore. Only hurt.
The hospital tried and tried to find me somewhere to stay. I'd already informed them of my situation: my mom had disowned me, my dad was dead and my grandparents were dead. My mom hadn't allowed us to see any of our Aunts and Uncles because apparently they were tainted by the devil. I had nowhere. I had no one.
Two days later, one of the nurses came into the room with a smile plastered onto her face. She was my favourite. She had dirty blonde hair and glistening blue eyes to match. Her lips were peach pink, and perfectly shaped. Her name was Lexi. "Tucker, I've got some good news." Lexi yelled a bit too over enthusiastically. "We've managed to find you a place to stay. One of the teachers from the local high school acts as a foster parent for children with troubled parents, and she's offered to let you stay there for a while. I know it isn't exactly your idea of a home. But it's somewhere, right?" she smiled. Lexi was clearly upset to see me in my current situation. To tell the truth, I wasn't best pleased with it either. Everything had turned to shit. "Well, we've received the bag that hag sent in" she exclaimed, and I let out a little giggle. Although I loved my mom, she was a bitch at the best of times. "Miss Smith is in the lobby waiting for you with your bags, if you'd like to follow me I'll take you to her. Here are some clothes, get dressed you slob. You've been in the same clothes for days. I'm surprised you don't stink!" She grinned at me as she threw a pile of clothes onto the bottom of the bed. She pulled the curtain shut as she said, "I'll be in the lobby, don't be long!"
Rummaging through the clothes, I noticed that these weren't mine. All of my clothes were old and tatty. Mom didn't believe in buying new clothes. According to her and the bible mixed synthetics were a sin. I threw the draping hospital gown on the floor, and pulled the cardigan over my head, basking in the soft fabric. I pulled it to my face and inhaled the scent. It smelt wonderful. Actually, it smelt amazing. I pulled the briefs and jeans up, buttoned them, and walked towards the lobby.
Lexi was stood with a woman towards the back of the lobby. She had shoulder length, straight strawberry blonde hair. She was wearing a white blouse and cargo pants with some All Star Converse trainers pulled over the bottom. "Tucker, over here!" Lexi screamed.
Slowly, I dragged my feet across the floor. This was the first time that I'd been out of bed in almost a week and my feet had already seemed to lose the will to live. Lexi ran towards me and pulled something from her pocket. "Look," she said, "I want you to know that you can call me anytime you want. I picked this up from home this morning. It's one of my old mobiles. I realised you didn't have one so I thought you could have one of my old ones. I've got the charger and everything in this bag", she passed me a `TESCO' plastic bag filled with wires, clothes and a razor. "Oh yeah, I took the liberty of stealing some of Bills clothes." Bill was her boyfriend. From what she'd told me about him, he seemed sweet. I smiled at her. Although I hadn't spoken to her, she seemed to like me. In fact, I hadn't spoken to anybody since the run in with my mom. "I've also saved my number to the phone; feel free to call me at any time. That is if you ever decide to talk again! I've got to go now, people to save you know. Look, I don't want to see you here again, okay? If I do, I'll personally kick your ass! See you around kiddo." She plumped her hand on top of my moppy brown hair and messed it about. And with that Lexi strolled off on her heely's, rolling around the hospital. I let out a chuckle as I faced Miss Smith.
Miss Smith smirked at me. She had a beautiful smile. Her eyebrows slightly rose, and two indented dimples appeared in her cheeks. Her nose crinkled and her hazel-green eyes lighted up. "Hi Tucker, I've heard a lot about you." she grinned. "I know you're not one to talk, but that's okay, I have to deal with a lot of children. I know you're not exactly a child, but 17 isn't out of my age range. I'm sure that nice nurse, Lexi, told you? Anyway, you'll be staying with be for a while. Is that alright?" Her voice was so gentle, and it instantly calmed me. Nodding, I smiled at her. "Right well, follow me to the car. It's just parked outside." I followed her out into the hospital car park, as she carried my backpack and I carried the flimsy Tesco bag. We approached a silver Vauxhall Vectra, which she opened and dumped both bags into the boot.
"My house isn't far from here." She said. "I'm sure you'll recognise it once we get there."
Her house was only a twenty minute drive from the hospital. "Almost there", she whispered. Trees and hedges passed me, and I didn't take much notice as to where we were going. I twiddled my thumbs in my hands, and that's when I looked up.
She was right. I did recognise it.
There was an orange house on the horizon, glowing in the sunset.
We pulled up into the drive way of the orange house, meters away from the river that I'd tried to drown myself in.
"Here we are", she said, as she got out of the car.