Say You Love Me

Say You Love Me Chapter Twenty

Jessie's Point of View - Twice In Two Days =================================

It's a paradox. I can't count how many times Monday mornings would be upon me, and nothing but the wish to remain at home would be the only thought spinning around in my brain. And now, I got my wish, and it was so goddamned boring, I actually wanted to be at school. I found myself watching the clock and wondering what the rest of the guys were doing at that very minute and got even more schoolsick. A couple of times, I even had to suppress the urge to just get dressed and go to classes, and then get my parents to talk to the principal. But when I checked my schedule for the day...a double period of Chemistry...I thought better of it. Naturally, I was ecstatic when the doorbell rang. I had convinced my parents to go to work and not worry about me, that I was feeling fine. So I knew if it couldn't be them, it had to be the gang. Imagine my surprise when the first person I saw upon opening the door, was Jessica. I glanced around a little and saw that the rest of them were just two steps behind her.

Jessica: "Hey! What's up?"

"Hi...", seemed to be pretty much all I was capable of saying to her.

Now, it was all very nice how Stacy had forgiven her and all. But I wasn't exactly fond of Jessica, I didn't downright hate her, just wasn't comfortable with her around. And yes, a major contributor to my uneasiness was the fact that she was the most recent ex-girlfriend of Brad's. And yes, by far the hottest. He told me that they were over, and I believed him, the way they fought kind of lent credibility to that statement. And she did seem to be keeping her distance from Brad. I mean, she stayed for the barbecue, and she was very genial with everyone, including Brad but no more. And she wasn't downright slutty or anything. Neither did I see her try and get Brad alone like she did that night after the tryouts. And that was a good thing. But there was just so much that was different with her. Her fashion sense had changed. For one thing, she no longer dressed the part of neighborhood corner bitch. I mean, she didn't go all nun like, but she certainly wasn't lewd like before. I didn't realise that I was just staring at her, musing.

Josh: "Jess, would you quit staring and let us in already?"

"Yeah. Come right in."

They snickered and walked through the open doorway. I noticed Vickie eyeing me a little oddly. She looked at me with eyes a little injured. I didn't really get why. Until I saw her eyeing Jessica with the meanest death glare I had yet seen. So, she's not exactly comfortable with Jessica being here either. The rest of them were making themselves right at home in the lounge. Vickie was the last to enter, and as she did so, she pulled me into a corner. She looked angry as hell.

Vickie: "Why the hell is she being so decent all of a sudden?"

"How should I know? She just showed up at the barbecue yesterday."

Vickie: "I don't trust the bitch. She's up to something."

"Well, maybe she's finally seen the light. Stacy seems to think so, and she's an excellent judge of character. And what could she be up to? We aren't living in a soap opera kinda world or anything. She behaved real good yesterday."

Vickie: "I just don't get Stacy. She beats the shit out of Jessica a little while ago, and now she decides to be all friendly with her?"

I listen to Stacy's version of the confrontation that occurred after the tryouts. I can't believe that she lied to Vickie like that. Stacy, who was forever insisting that the truth must be told, no matter what the consequences. Hippocrite, she believed it as long as she didn't stand to lose face in front of her friends.

Vickie: "Jess, why are you smirking?"

"Okay, well, here's what really happened..."

She was flabbergasted.

Vickie: "You mean...Stacy was the one who got her ass beat?"

"Uh huh. And Jessica, she took her aside and apologised to her yesterday."

Vickie: "Oh...still, I don't like her one bit. She's so clingy. And she kept popping up wherever we were today. And the crazy thing was, Stacy was always the one inviting her over."

"Vickie, are you a little jealous? Stacy found herself a new girlfriend."

Vickie: "What? No. Of course not. I told you, I just don't like her around. Stacy better watch it too. Jessica might try and seduce Gabriel away from her, right under her nose."

Hmm... that was certainly an interesting thought. I mean, Jessica had been rejected by Brad, and to all appearances, seemed to have moved on. What if she did set her eyes on Gabriel? He was a good looking dude.

Vickie: "Come on, let's go inside. And don't let her smiles and sunshine fool you. Don't get taken in with her."

"Wha-"

She answered my half-uttered question in an accusing tone of voice.

Vickie: "I saw the way you stared at her when you opened the door."

"Hey, I was just surprised that she was at my front door again. Two times in two days."

Vickie looked relieved.

Vickie: "Oh...well. Okay, I forgive you this time. But I don't want you watching her any more than you have to."

Huh? Since when were we a couple?! She ^forgives me this time^?

"Uh, Vickie... we aren't exactly a couple."

She ignored the statement like I didn't have a say in it, latched herself onto my arm and proceeded to walk with me inside to catch up with the rest of the guys.

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Josh's Dilemma - Why Won't These Women Leave Me Alone?

It was always difficult for whenever a girl started showing interest in him. He wasn't blind or unperceptive of his body image. Josh knew that he was a downright beefy stud. And he had always known that it would cause him problems. Bring gay, he had few choices, all undesirable for dealing with such situations, though one far outweighed the other. He could either try to stay cool and bear it out calmly, then make up some reasonable excuse. Or he could try to explain exactly why he didn't want a relationship, which was the absolute last resort. He didn't have it in him to be dick to the offending party or anything. After all, girls are going to go for whatever looks good to them, and he didn't want himself or any interested girl to get hurt.

Ever since she came to the barbecue, he had the strangest feeling that something was spinning around in Jessica's head. And that it had something to do with him. He had just breathed a sigh of relief when Vickie had, for now, given up on him. And now he had Jessica to deal with. It had started the day before. She had decided to sit next to him at the table outside. Well, not exactly decided, the only vacant seat was next to him. So that was understandable. He didn't get the sudden change she'd had though. It was like she had gone to bed and woken up a completely different person. Anyhow, that wasn't the most suspicious thing. She had been popping up wherever they hung out at school, very conveniently. He thought it was to see Brad at first. After all, she could still be trying to get back together with him, but that wasn't it. A lot of the time, Brad wasn't even there, he had went to hang out with some of the other guys from the team. Anyhow, Jessica still insisted on dropping by, and out of all the available seats, she kept sitting next to him.

And the looks he kept catching her throwing at him. It seemed like she had moved on from Brad's rejection and had set her eyes on him. She hadn't come right on out and said anything. Thank God. Josh didn't feel quite ready to deal with a situation like that at present. And Stacy was perfectly content to let her come hang with them. As a matter of fact, she'd called her over a couple of times. Vickie seemed on edge, she obviously wasn't really a Jessica Warden fan. But Stacy was chatting it out with her like they were friends for life! Women are so damned erratic. First Jessica's repentance, and now Stacy? It seemed like some sort of switch had been thrown. He considered. While Jessica was becoming more and more decent, Stacy seemed to be changing into something...that was starting the resemble the old Jessica! Jessica had revamped her wardrobe apparently, her clothes weren't screaming "Fuck Me!" anymore. But Stacy on the other hand...well, she wasn't dressing downright slutty, but compared to her formerly conservative attire, it was definitely getting her much more attention. It figures, she had her heart set on that Gabriel. And she was the one who always used to say,

"When I fall in love with a guy, he's going to have to accept and love me for who I am. I'm not going to change to saticfy any man's whim!"

Ha! First her clothes and then her personality. She was becoming more talkative, as hard as that was t believe. At first he thought it was Vickie's influence, who was no nun herself. But apparently, she was changing to get Gabriel's attention. Well, he considered, love can make people do strange things, especially if they're desperate.

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Jessie's Point of View - What's Your Beef With Gabriel? ==========================================

Gabriel: "Hey, you got anything to drink besides soda and juice?"

Fool... going through our kitchen like he owned it.

"Yeah, water. Comes in three oh so delicious flavors. Spring, carbon-filtered and of course, tap."

I had said it in a mildy annoyed tone. I hadn't realised that I was letting my dislike of him show through like that. I could see Stacy eyeing me a little sharply. I knew I had better keep myself together. I remembered that I told her that I wasn't really comfortable with Gabriel around. And actually, I was damned surprised that she had let the topic drop. She was a very, very inquisitive girl. If there was something going on with us and she didn't know all the details, she would hound you like a dog until she got them. But then again, she seemed to have been all taken up with Gabriel. Must have plain forgotten about it. Or there was the possibility that she just didn't want to hear anything negative about him, to ruin her fantasy of bearing his children-the thought of his genetic material contaminating the gene pool was a bit unnerving-and was deliberately ignoring what I'd said.

Gabriel: "I meant, like a beer or something."

"No, we don't keep alcohol in the house."

Gabriel: "Your parents are religious or something?"

"Well, not exactly, but it's more to do with the fact that they don't drink anything with alcohol in it."

Gabriel: "Oh...well, sorry I asked."

Me too. He left the kitchen and started walking back to the lounge with a grape soda in one hand, and the biggest slice of the pizza I'd ordered just before they came. Damn him! I watched him go, mentally hurling knives at his back. I was so taken up that I didn't even notice that Stacy had stayed behind. She cleared her throat and I jumped slightly. When I looked at her face, the expression wasn't a happy one. It wasn't really anger, but I could tell she was upset. Who wants to guess why?

Stacy: "Jessie, what's your beef with Gabriel?"

"What makes you think that I have anything against him."

Stacy: "You told me that you weren't very comfortable around him."

Damn! It's certainly nice to see that he hasn't changed some things about you girl.

Stacy: "Why is it that you don't like him...and I get the feeling that Josh isn't too hyped about him either. Are you two jealous of him?"

That'll be the day...

Stacy: "I mean, I know he's been taking up a lot of my time-"

More like you've been taking up a lot of our time going on and on about him.

Stacy: "And I know that you were the only two guys in my life before he came...mostly, so is that it?-"

"Where do you get these theories from?"

Stacy: "Well, what else could it be?"

"Stacy, why are you changing so much? I swear, it's like some of Jessica rubbed off on you, and some of you rubbed off on her for that matter."

Stacy: "Hey, I just had a little makeover. No big deal."

"It's for him isn't it?"

Stacy: "Is something wrong with looking my best?"

"Well...no. But, why are you so friendly with Jessica all of a sudden?"

Stacy: "She's not a bad person. Not really, she's just a little misunderstood is all. And she's going through a rough time, and she might need a friend or two-Real Friends- to help her through it. It took serious decency to apologise and I respect her for it."

"Well, true. She might be in need of friends, but why does it have to be us?"

We both knew the real reason I was uncomfortable with her around, Brad. She got closer and lowered her voice.

Stacy: "Jessie, she's trying to cope with losing him. I think that deep down, she really liked him."

"That's why I don't want her around here, around us."

Stacy: "Has she been showing even the slightest sign that she could be trying to seduce him back into her arms, hmm?"

"Well, no."

That much was true. It was partly why I was so confused about how exactly to deal with her presence. I mean, yes a part of me believed that she could be a misunderstood girl who was really an angel underneath. And she could be in need of real friends. I didn't even know if she'd ever had any. I mean, I guess it would be both selfish and unfair for me to resent her based on fears, that could very well be unfounded too. I was making sure that I kept a close eye on her. And she was behaving very nicely. If anything, it seemed that she was trying to avoid too much contact with Brad. And Stacy was a smart girl. She had to know what she was doing, right?

Stacy: "So what's wrong if we help her along?"

"It's just that, me and Brad haven't really talked about us. We just know we like each other is all. I know I'm gay. But since we haven't really talked about it, I don't really know how to classify him."

Stacy: "Who says there's a need to classify love, just enjoy it."

"But if he's not really gay, I mean all those girlfriends he's had. I know if I was a girl and was stupid enough to lose a guy like Brad, I'd at least try once or twice to get him back."

Stacy: "Yes, and when he turns you down enough, you would have moved on. Jessica's tried and now, she seems to have accepted it and moved on."

"I hope so. It's just so hard when your boyfriend is probably bi."

Stacy: "Listen, whatever Brad is, he's definitely in love with you. You don't have to worry, you just have to trust him that he'll do the right thing."

"I'll try."

Stacy: "Now that Jessica is sorted out, back to Gabriel. What's up?"

Damn her! And I was hoping she'd forget again.

"It's just that I think he might be homophobic."

Stacy: "What? He doesn't know about you or Josh does he?"

"No, but there was the thing in the cafeteria."

I told her about the cafeterial incident, she looked at me incredulously.

Stacy: "Oh, he was probably joking. You know how you men are. Whenever you show anything resembling sensitivity to each other, you laugh it up as looking Gayish."

I got what she was trying to say. But I didn't think so. Not by the tone and the way he laughed. I tried to tell her that too. It didn't look like she bought it though.

"I don't think s-"

Stacy: "So, that's why Josh doesn't seem to like him all that much either. Well, I for one can tell you that he's a great guy. He can be a little wild and unpredictable, but that's exactly what I want."

"Whatever."

Stacy: "Just keep and open mind and give him and chance. He was probably just making a joke. And see what you can do about Josh's attitude towards him too."

"Yeah well, we'll see."

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Brad Observes - Who Is She Trying To Fool? ==================================

Brad could help but watch her trying to throw herself at Josh. Well, okay, maybe not throwing herself exactly. And it was definitely not anything slutty like she used to do to pick up guys. But those glances he'd seen her throw at Josh, and the way she kept laughing at every joke he made...some of which were pretty lame by the way, got him thinking. And were they tied together by some invisible rope? She insisted on being close to him. When she came around at school during the day, she kept sitting next to him, and it was no different here. The lounge chair that Josh was sitting on, was a one seater. It was very plush though, with enough padding so Jessica could sit on the armrest quite comfortably, how convenient. Brad didn't want to be vain and self-centered, but he thought that Jessica would be hung up on him for a little while longer. But she seemed to have moved on to Josh. Who was she trying to fool with that goody-two shoes exterior? And the way she could act. At least Josh seemed unaware of her intentions. He didn't seem to be giving her the time of day. Brad hoped that he wouldn't be stupid or horny enough to get involved with a girl like Jessica. She had a way of jumping from guy to guy. If she had her way, she'd try every guy at least once.

Stacy had seemed to be taken in with her false diplomacy. Brad had thought more of her than that, he was under the impression that she was a pretty smart girl. But then again, she did seem to be going through a couple of changes recently. For one thing, her fashion sense was a lot more...noticeable. Chad had even seen Brad talking to her and Josh in the hall, and asked him to introduce him to her. Stacy was never repulsive, but she used to look just average. But now...she was smokin' hot! Chad was real disappointed when he learned that she had the hots for Gabriel though. He couldn't help but wonder if she and Jessica were maybe giving each other pointers. They both seemed to be going through some kind of change. Women...always changing. Their clothes, their hair, their minds, their men...everything, every damned thing! At least guys were constant. He quickly shifted his gaze when she noticed him watching.

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Jessica Ponders - It's Working! ========================

"Oh God, it's working! Sort of..."

Jessica was a little confused, but at least her plan was having the desired effect. Brad was having trouble getting his eyes off of her! No doubt the boy was getting major league jealous. And she thought it was all going to be a flop. For one thing, Josh was being more or less unresponsive. For some reason, even after all the signs she'd been giving him, he was yet to notice her intentions. And that was why she thought her plan was going to fail. Josh had done nothing to really amplify Brad's jealousy. But, it was working nevertheless. Brad must want her so much, that even though Josh wasn't doing anything, the mere fact that she wasn't with him was eating him up. That she was lavishing her attention on some other guy must be doing it well enough.

It gave her the inspiration to keep on trying. And to think that she had almost been weak enough to go back and try to beg him for another chance. Not this time. He had to be the one to come back to her. That would seal their relationship. He had to realise for himself that he couldn't live without her, and come back to her of his own free volition. She hoped that Josh would at least get smart though and follow through, it would really catalyse her plan and Brad would be back to her quicker if he saw that there was th danger of Josh showing affection in return. Maybe she wasn't being forward enough. She knew that men weren't exactly the most perceptive of God's creations...maybe he was just a little slow. Oh, but he's so cute though....

"Get that thought out of your head!"

She was a horny girl these days without her favorite sexual outlet. She couldn't risk fucking around with any of the other guys either. They'd all brag and boast about screwing her to all of their friends and then the entire school, not to mention Brad, would know. But you couldn't really blame them though. Which man wouldn't feel priveliged to get a piece of her pie? She was making a short term sacrifice and hopefully she'd reap the benefits in the long term. With any luck, over and over again! She couldn't help but be turned on by Josh though. At least all the sexual energy she was generating was going to good use. It made her performance all the more believable. And Brad might see that she was turned on by Josh and decide to do something about it. She sure hoped that Josh would see it and do something about it too. Preferably directly in Brad's line of sight. That'd really get the ball rolling. She'd have to try something more assertive. But she'd have to take her time and go slow. She had everything running on this and so much to lose.

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Jessie's Point of View - What Are We Going To Do? =======================================

Josh: "I'm telling you, she's trying to get in my pants!"

"She's moved on alright, to you. What do you plan on doing about it?"

Josh: "I dunno. What are you planning on doing about Vickie?"

I was stumped myself. The moment I went and started chilling with them in the lounge, I couldn't help but see how silly the whole situation was. Picture this, Stacy and Gabriel were cuddling up to each other and doing the kissy-kissy. Jessica was slapping Josh on the back over some joke he'd said. I guess I knew why she'd moved on so fast. She had her eye on Josh. He didn't look like he was enjoying her attention though, for obvious reasons. And all the while, I had to try and keep from squirming under Vickie's roaming hands, while trying to gently ease them away from me. The only one in the room not getting any feminine attention was Brad! And two out of three of us who were, were gay! The only one who was really enjoying it was Gabriel. I saw him flashing Brad a look full of pity that just screamed, "Maybe next time dude!". I could see how having Vickie latching onto me like that was affecting Brad. Josh eased Jessica away from him and said that he wanted to see the thing that I'd said I'd show him. I got up and said that it was in my room. Vickie and Jessica both got up as well. They both looked more than eager to follow us up to my room, but thankfully, we were able to convince them to stay downstairs. We were now contemplating our situation.

"I was hoping that maybe Stacy might see if she could get her addicted to some other guy. Sure hope it takes."

Josh: "It's gotta be tougher for you, with Brad and all."

"Yeah, it is. I saw the way he was looking at her."

Josh: "I'll see if I can have a talk with Jessica, soon. I'll make it look like I have a girl I'm interested in already and see how she takes it."

"I don't see why you have to even care how she takes it. She seems like a very bouncy girl. She'll bounce right back. And to think that Stacy is under the impression that she could have a problem and be in need of help."

Josh: "That's just it. She could really have a problem dealing with Brad rejecting her. I think he was more than a casual fuck to her."

"She seems to be coping just fine to me. She fell off the bike and now she's back on looking to ride."

Josh: "She could be trying to cope by focussing somewhere else. It's not easy - when the person you want doesn't want you back in return."

I got what he was trying to say. And I knew exactly what he was talking about...personal experience. I quickly changed the subject, before he got that sad look on his face. I hated to see him look sad because then I'd be sad.

"You know, me and Stacy talked about Gabriel."

Josh: "Did you tell her about his attitude?"

"Yeah, the cafeteria thing. She doesn't really think that he could be homophobic."

Josh: "There's a big surprise. She worships the ground he walks on."

"She thinks that he was joking."

Josh: "Of course he was joking. At those guys' expense, and they were probably straight. Just a bad case of a ketchup stain."

"Uh, huh. Well, she says to give him a chance. And she asked me to ask you to do the same thing."

Josh: "I can control myself around him just fine as long as he doesn't keep it up with comments like that."

We kept on talking for a little while more, and eventually I brought up his mom. I still couldn't shake the knowing way she kept looking at me the day before in the hospital. I wondered if by some woman's intuition she knew about me. I mean Josh and me had grown up together, we both considered each others houses as open property. And his mom was like a second mother to me. What if she knew? I told him so too.

"Josh, do you think that your mother might know about me?"

I explained why I felt that way, and to my surprise he said in a hushed voice.

Josh: "I don't know for sure, but I act as if I think that you're straight. But since yesterday, she has been asking me to talk to you about how I feel. And I'm all like, mom he's straight, he'll probably get freaked out and mad at me, and she keeps telling me that she thinks it'd be a good idea for me to talk to you. I was going to tell you, but I know how nervous you get about anyone else knowing and I didn't really want to scare you if you were blissfully ignorant."

"Damn. So she might know then. How do women know all these things?"

Josh: "Hey, don't worry, she's cool with me, and even if she knows, she's cool with you. She doesn't know that your parents know about you, and if she knew that you were gay and was going to be a bitch about it, she'd have called them first thing. And they haven't said anything, right?"

"True, you're right. I just think that it's best that as few people as possible know about me. Is your dad still in the dark?"

Josh: "Yeah. He doesn't seem like the homophobic type, I dunno. But I don't know how he'll take it if he finds out that his only son, his only kid is gay. It kinda decreases the possiblity of grandchildren and you know how he feels about being a grandfather. He thinks it's-"

"Grand?"

Josh: "Hehe. Yeah, exactly. You think we should go back downstairs now? We've been gone an awfully long time."

"Are you really that much in a hurry to get back to Jessica?"

Josh: "Well, no. But it's getting a little late. Maybe we could convince them to go home and it'll end right here and now for the evening."

It was worth a shot. After all, his mom had a propensity for worry. She was under the impression that he tried to run away a few weeks ago, and still hadn't shaken it off. If he told them that he had best be going home to satisfy his mom, and with them having driven here in one car, Vickie's Benz...they'd have to go! And the girly attention would end! Yay!

"Josh, you're a genius!"

Josh: "I aim to please!"

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Jessie's Point of View - I'm Gonna Be Famous! ===================================

I couldn't help but notice the few stares I saw a few people throwing at me when I walked into the school compound. Now, they weren't bad stares or anything. They actually seemed sympathetic. It was a little awkward for me as I was usually off the radar. It was then that I knew that people, a few people at least, knew what had happened to me over the weekend and why I stayed home from school the day before. I guess some of the multitude of people I saw in my hospital room must have had kids going to my school or something. Then there was the old gossip mill. It was forever churning in Calvary. It was nice to get a little attention. Quite a few waved, and even though I didn't know them personally, I waved back. I guess I can see why Stacy wants to get all the attention she can get. I was just getting sympathy...she was getting a whole lot more! Josh, Gabriel, Stacy and Vickie were walking with me. And every time a cute girl would wave at me, no matter how innocently, Vickie would be sure to clutch my arm and stare her down like she owned me and had the receipt to prove it. I had never felt so much like someone else's piece of property in my life!

At lunchtime, at the cafeteria table, I got first hand proof that I was Calvary High's newest celebrity. These two girls came giggling up to our table. I had no idea who they were and what they would want with any of us. It turned out, they were with the school paper and wanted to do a story on me! Naturally we were all ears. I was going to be famous! Well, at least in Calvary's hallowed halls. I was all for it, especially when I heard their idea. Go ahead girls!

Samantha: "So we were thinking, we could make it an inspirational article. You know, emphasize your courage, your strength-"

April: "And how you conquered Death itself! It would make a great story. It will be sensat-"

Vickie: "Sensationalist junk, that's what! You media people, always hoping to profit from other people's trauma! Just for the story that could put you on the map. Well, it ain't gonna happen, so why don't you mosey along. I have a great idea for you though. It'd work wonders in the gossip column. Do a feature on Jessica Warden - Slut Turns Saint! Then people might actually read your paper for the Hell of it."

Samantha and April looked at her with withering expressions and gave me their contact number, then moved on. Since it was only Josh, Vickie, Stacy, Gabriel and me there-Vickie got away with her statement about Jessica. I was disappointed, no fucking mad! I wanted to be famous! Who did she think she was making my decisions for me? We were nothing more than friends. We didn't even become friends in our own right. Me and Josh were introduced to her via the now social butterfly - Stacy. And she had driven Samantha and April away. Good thing I had their phone number. I loved how they were going to make me sound all brave and heroic and strong - not that I'm not all of those things already mind you, but then everyone else would know it too! I looked at her with an angry glare.

"Vickie, what the hell is up with you?! Those girls were going to-"

Vickie: "They wanted to benefit from your accident."

"Yeah, well they weren't the only ones. I was going to benefit from it too! And it was going to be inspirational story, everyone else who read the article would have gotten some good out of it. Does the concept of good coming out of bad mean nothing to you?"

Vickie: "What, oh please. Who actually reads the damned paper anyway?"

Stacy, Josh and I raised our hands. Yes, our school paper was very entertaining. It was rather sensational I admit. Just full of gossip and news, with a Who's Who and all the sleaze you could hope for. A lot of people read it, and I could be famous. I told her that too.

Vickie: "Okay, well with a paper that cheesy, who'll take an article like that seriously, you could end up being the laughing stock of the school with the sort of twists they probably were going to put into the story. I was trying to save you from all of that."

"Yeah, well...next time do me a favor and don't save me!"

Vickie: "You know, you're making it a little hard for me to love you."

I felt her foot sliding up my leg under the table, and it really wasn't the best time for her to do that.

"Good, then maybe you'd stop, because here's a newsflash - I don't love you like that!"

She instantly tensed and I felt her foot drop. I heard a choked sob and looked up to see her burst into tears and run off. Several people from the surrounding tables were watching the scene, probably glad for a little angsty entertainment to wash down their lunch with.

Stacy: "What the hell are you watching?!"

They turned around quick. She got up and ran off after Vickie, her best friend instinct kicking in. Gabriel got up, gave me a disgusted look and went after Stacy. I did feel sorry for what I said, but it was all due to the emotion and the way her feet were sliding up my leg. It was frustrating enough with me being gay, but it was also in broad daylight, in the school cafeteria for God's sake. I knew that Stacy wouldn't let me get off the hook with that one, judging by the expression on her face. And Gabriel being her cousin, practically her brother, didn't look too happy either. I glanced at Josh, half expecting him to get up to go after her too. But he stayed.

"I didn't mean for her to choke up like that."

Josh: "I know. I knew what she was doing too. With her feet, she was feeling you up."

"I hope no one else saw."

At least I had Josh who was being understanding. We were in the same situation after all, but I guess even if we weren't he'd still have had my back. I hoped that I'd be able to reconcile with Vickie while easing her off of me in the process. Why do teenage relationships have to be so goddamned difficult? I thought that we'd had our fill, but I was mistaken. The rest of the guys hadn't left five minutes when we saw Jessica making her way towards our table. The entire thing was empty, a lot of available seats, but true to Josh's word she ignored all of them and took a seat next to him.

Jessica: "Hey guys, why so glum?"

"Oh, nothing."

I don't think she'd like to hear about Vickie's statement about her. More importantly, I knew that the both of them didn't really like each other and I didn't want her laughing it up mentally at Vickie'e expense. Both our faces were pretty glum though, and since I had evaded her question half-heartedly with an "Oh, nothing", and she no doubt knew that I was lying...she started to grill Josh. She was all concerned and I saw her arm go around his shoulder, to console" him without doubt. She was whispering something, probably asking him if something was wrong with him personally. I saw him squirm uncomfortably. He eased her off and told her that nothing was up. She didn't look satisfied but let it drop. She was looking at me rather oddly though. Eventually I got that she was trying to send a signal to me. She wanted me out of there so that she and Josh could get some time alone together! At the same time, Josh had a pleading look in his eyes just screaming,

"Please Jessie, don't go! Don't leave me with her. Make up some excuse quick!"

I'd sure try. I had first hand experience knowing how tough unwanted feminine attention could be for a gay guy. Here goes...

"Josh, weren't you supposed to go do that...thing. Um, help me...catch up on that Chemistry lab you guys did yesterday? I missed it, remember?"

Thank you double period of Harris! He had a rep. He was notoriously generous with notes. Everyone knew that if you missed a period with him, you'd be in deep water.

Josh: "Uh, yeah! The notes are still on the lab's whiteboard... I gotta go. If the rest of the guys come back, would you tell them where we went?"

Jessica: "Oh...okay."

Josh: "See you Jessica."

Jessica: "I'll catch up to you guys later."

Please don't.

We hurried off trying not to think if she thought it weird or not. She must have because she looked downright perplexed. Anyhow, we were just grateful to be away from her. If Stacy were there, maybe we might not have been so uncomfortable. They chatted like old friends now apparently. But since Josh wouldn't have had Stacy to keep her busy, we had to get away.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Stacy's Solace - Why Doesn't He Like Me?

Stacy and Gabriel had chased Vickie down to the refuge all teenaged girls, in school that is, go to to cry their hearts out. The girls' bathroom. Being a guy, Gabriel couldn't very well go traipsing in there, so it was up to Stacy. He probably couldn't console as well as she could in a situation like this anyway. Stacy walked into the rather small room and since all of the stalls but one were occupied, she knew exactly where to look. She paused in front of the door, then knocked. A fitful reply resounded.

Vickie: "Would you stop knocking on the fucking door?! It's occupied dumbass!"

Stacy: "Vickie, open up sweetie, it's me, Stacy."

After a brief pause, the door opened. Vickie emerged, drying her eyes and composing herself. She walked straight to the sink and started washing her face. Stacy followed her, carefully thinking about how to deal with the situation.

Stacy: "Are you okay?"

Vickie: "Yeah, sure. Just a little thrown off. Since when does Jessie treat people like that?"

Stacy: "He's not a bad person, Vickie. He doesn't go around blowing up on people like that."

Vickie: "Oh, really, he doesn't?"

Stacy: "No, of course not. He's a real nice guy."

Vickie: "So then, it's me isn't it? Why doesn't he like me, Stacy? I mean, I think I've given him enough signs. And it's not like he already has a girlfriend or anything."

Stacy shifted a little uncomfortably. She had to play this right or there could be hell to pay if she accidentally outted Jessie and he found out. Even if Vickie was understanding about it all. It was a serious infringement of his personal choice of when and to whom to come out to. Wait a sec?! Chioce... Atta Girl, Stacy! Once again you've amazed even yourself!

Stacy: "Well, see here's the thing. You've been giving him signs, and that's good, but you haven't been giving him a choice. Men do not like to feel that they're being controlled, especially by us women folk. It's a macho thing. And that's what you were doing, acting like he doesn't have a say in your "relationship". Just because he's never had a girlfriend before means that you should just assume that he'll take you, like he can't get one for himself. And back there, with Samantha and April...you basically made his decision for him, and it was him they came to see, to do an article about HIM...not you. You getting where I'm going with this?"

An expression of understanding manifested itself on Vickie's face and Stacy knew that she was damned good! She had better get her stuff patented. Who knows, maybe one day she could get rich off of it! Relationship Psychology... If Dr. Phil could do it, who is to say that she couldn't?

Vickie: "Damn girl! Since when do you know so much about men? I thought that was my department. So what you're saying is give him a choice and he come to his senses?"

Stacy: " No...not exactly. What if you aren't his type. What did I tell you about assuming that he'll just go for you on the fly? You have to give him his space and let him decide without pushing yourself up on him so much."

Vickie: "Okay, I'll try. I hope he chooses me though."

Stacy couldn't help but feel a little guilty for giving her false hope, but in the present circumstances, it was the best that she could do. She had never seem Vickie so serious about someone before. Fucking with a guy had always seemed like all she could commit to. She hoped that Vickie wouldn't be too disapoointed when Jessie turned her down...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Okay, once again I am so sorry for being late with this. It was supposed to come out this weekend, but with all these idiotic family here, it has not been easy for me. And everyone, a healthy dose of paranoia is a good thing. If you've got something to hide...hide it and hide it well! Clear History, cache, everything. Put everything else under hidden programs and lock it with a password. You do not want to have aggravating people using your computer without permission and seeing what you're always busy writing and then trying to blackmail you for the fun of it. What hurts most is that it's a family member who I've been really close with too. Well enough about me, I was just venting. Hope you guys enjoyed the Holidays. Feel free to email at either:

phoenix_587@yahoo.com

or

birdofflame_587@yahoo.com

Or post on the group.

P.S. Please, send all your curses upon my blackmailer. Let the Universe know how much he is hated!