Phoenix here. To those of you who like this story, the only reason I was able to update again so fast was because of Juilianj19, who wanted more detail on characters like Josh and Stacy. If there's anything like a Perfect Critic, this guy's IT.
Oh and as always, feel free to drop a line at phoenix_587@yahoo.com or post on the Group. Bye ya'll I hope you enjoy readin' em like I enjoy writin' em.
Chapter 6- "Where's Josh?"
JESSIE'S POINT OF VIEW-FRIDAY NIGHT
My parents had come home earlier than I expected that evening. It was a good thing I heard them opening the front door. If I didn't and they walked into living room, I don't know how'd they react to the sight of Brad kissing me. The moment I was able to force my mouth away from him and gasp,
"My parents",
Brad had packed up and left. I was worried about what had happened. Did Brad know about me? Would he out me to the rest of school? That thought scared me. But it wasn't my fault..I mean I was only talking to him about what had transpired earlier. I didn't kiss him...HE kissed ME! What, I couldn't get was, why? I mean Brad wasn't gay. Couldn't be. I mean he had girlfriends before. I saw him with them...Julie, Sarah, Tammy, Jessica. Okay so he was currently single. Jessica broke up with him after he'd been suspended for beating up Rick last semester. But a guy like him could have any girl he wanted, no joke. So why did it happen? I tried to remember exactly what happened.
*He asked me if I wanted to talk to him about what happened with Josh. Okay no problem there. That couldn't have caught it.
*He walked over and sat down next to me.
*Ok, eventually I started to shake. He had his arm around me. Nothin' special about that. Friendly...
*I started to cry and shudder. He made me look at his face, his eyes. I couldn't look away. Apparently neither could he. He looked me straight in the eyes and said,
"Shhh...come on Jess don't cry"
That was when it had happened. What was it exactly that happened when we looked at each other. I thought seeing eye to eye was supposed to be a good thing. Then a new thought popped into my head. What if he hated me...homophobic and thought I was gay? But it wasn't me. I was tryin' to push him off when he did it. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I didn't know how Brad felt about it, and more importantly I didn't want to run any risk of getting outted to the rest of the school. While I was tryin' to push him off, he held me with his right arm, forcing my lips to join with his ( hey he was forcing my body not my mind ). He being so much stronger than me, there was no possible way I could push him off.
He must have known this...'cause he wasn't overly forceful. The weirdest thing was all the while he was staring into my eyes...almost as if he was trying to see inside my head...my soul. Then I heard my parents coming, I managed to pull my lips away from his and warn him...and then he just left. He left me to ponder...
I was trying to get away, he wouldn't let me. Was Stacy right..was he tryin' to use me for some little experiment of his? I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. He may have held me...but it wasn't as if I didn't want it to happen. And he wasn't tryin' to hurt me...he was so gentle...He didn't look mad when he left.
Damn, why did life have to be so complicated sometimes. I decided to try and not think about it...only problem was I couldn't help it. It's not exactly easy to NOT think about a guy ( especially one like Brad Summers sigh ) kissing you. Especially if you just so happen to be a guy yourself. Well, it sure looked like I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.
It was around 10:30 pm and the phone rang. I picked up, it was Stacy.
I was so not in the mood for this right now, "Stacy, can this wait 'till tomorrow. I'm real beat, and you're starting to make this a habi-"
She cut me off,
Stacy: "Jessie!?!, Is Josh over at your house?!?".
Okay, something was definitely up. I've never heard Stacy talk like this before. She sounded scared and worried.
I answered, "Uh..no Stace, he's not, is something wrong?"
Stacy: "His parents called my house a while ago. Jessie, Josh didn't go home this afternoon...his parents don't know where he is. I t-told them that I'd call everyone I knew and ask around, to save them time while they checked around the neighborhood. Jessie, God I don't know what to do..I thought he'd be there at your place."
Hearing her go on like this was heart rending.
"Well, he's not here Stacy"
Stacy, "Jessie, if he shows up at your place, gimme a call, and tell his parents too."
It hurt to think it but, I doubt that Josh would be comin' over to my place anytime soon.
"Yeah Stace"
Stacy: "Bye Jess"
"Bye", she hung up.
I considered the situation. Stacy might not know what to do...but I sure did. My best bud of 11 years was somewhere out there,upset over something. I had to find him. I was thankful my parents had already hit the sack. Sneaking out shouldn't be a problem. Josh may have been pissed at me, for what I didn't know, but I was sure as hell gonna find him and find out. He may have been mad at me, but I wasn't at him, regardless of what I'd said. I got dressed and grabbed my cellphone and snuck downstairs. Coast clear...I'd never done this before. I'd better not stay out too long...no telling if the 'rents might decide to check in on me during the night. I had to do this. If it was me out there Josh would no doubt be the first one out looking...at least he would before what happened today. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and ventured out....
*** JOSH'S POINT OF VIEW-FRIDAY NIGHT
Another long week. Hell, it was to be expected if you had Jameson 7th and 8th periods on Monday AND Friday. To top it off Jameson had our test results to dish out today. I was pretty sure I'd failed it. I'd no doubt have to deal with disappointed faces from the 'rents...but hey I could deal with it when the time came. At least today I could hang out with Jessie and Stacy. I'd hung out with Stacy last week Saturday at Joe's. We were supposed to be studying for Jameson's test. Jessie was supposed to be there. Time ticked away until he was 4 hours late...I realized he wasn't gonna show. I was a little hurt, specially after he didn't call to say why. I knew if he'd helped me study for Jameson's test I'd actually have passed. I hated English Lit. but Jessie had a way with words. Still I couldn't ever bring myself to be mad at him. At least today we could all hang out. I couldn't remember the last time we'd all had some fun together, so that's why I was surprised he didn't show up at Joe's on Saturday. The only reason I hadn't called to find out was I because I was afraid that he'd think I was mad at him.
I found out what kept him though, on Monday. Brad Summers. At first I thought that Brad had threatened Jessie or something, but then I learned from Jessie that Brad was being nice to him. I know it sounds stupid...but I wished Brad was being his usual asshole self with Jessie, rather than being nice to him. Confused...I'd better explain.
I've always known I was...different. Well, since I was 12 actually. While most every other guy got horny over some chick...I got horny over-guess....other guys. But there was only one guy I ever truly loved. I think you know who I'm talking about.
I couldn't stand Brad Summers. He thinks he's sooo smoothe. Well I can see straight through him and his fucked up charades. When Jessie told me how he was acting, it was then I knew for certain. Only one thing could explain why badass Brad was being so nice to Jessie. Brad was tryin' to score with him. Like I'd sit back and let that happen. I knew Jessie wasn't gay, and I'd never be with him the way I wanted to. And even though I always knew he'd settle with some chick, as long as I was his best bud, I could handle it. It hurt like hell..sometimes I didn't know how to go on, but as long as Jessie was happy and I could see him smile, I'd make it. No matter what it did to me, for Jessie, I'd do anything.
And then I realised that Brad Summers was threatening all that. Monday morning, when I'd confronted him, I only thought he was just tryin' to befriend Jessie, but later that day, I saw something that made me wish that Brad was only trying to be friends with Jess. I saw the Look in English Lit. that day. It nearly tore me apart...
Please, please Jess, don't fall for it.
When Jess turned away from him, I thanked whatever god would listen to me. I thought everything would be fine, Jess was still mine, no one could take him away, at least no guy. That bond couldn't be shattered. I had only to wait until Friday, today, to realise just how wrong I was.
It was after English Lit. Home time. Jessie was waiting back in class as usual for Stacy and me , perfect.
I knew just how to get to him, all I needed was a Triple Fudge Sundae,
"Yo, Jess, me and Stacy gonna hang at Joe's. Wanna come? Triple Fudge Sundae, my treat?", I asked.
I remembered the first time I bought him one. The smile on his face was priceless.
I so didn't expect his reply,
Jessie: "Can't actually, I gotta work with Brad."
Brad again. I went on,
"Hey, no problem. Stacy and me could just run to Joe's, pick up a few things, meet you guys in school and hang."
At least in school I could keep an eye on Brad.
That plan of mines was quickly squelched,
Jessie: "Uh..actually wer'e kinda going to be studying at my house"
That one hurt. Jessie invited him home...They'd be all alone...what was worse I'd have to find a way to get him to invite me along. I couldn't very well ask to come along, it'd look too suspicious.
I tried again, "Oh, well me and Stacy could walk you home and we could all chill at your place"
It was my last chance, a chance I'd miss,
Jessie: "Actually, Brad's giving me a ride home."
When that failed, I decided to ....beg..beg damn it!
"Hey come on man, we ain't been anywhere since...I can't remember when. Can't you study with Brad some other time? You've got a whole month for that stupid project."
He wouldn't turn ME down...right? I've never asked him for anything. In all the years I'd known him, eleven years, I'd never, ever asked him for anything. Guess it didn't mean a damn thing to him though.
He went on with a sob story, poor, poor Brad was gonna get thrown of the Jock Squad if he didn't average a C. How he was gonna help him study... I couldn't believe it. Eleven years of, well frienship on his part, and secret love on mine, meant nothing to seven fucking days with Brad Summers. I...lost it-
"What?! Your'e blowin' us off cuz of Brad and his dumb jock syndrome? I thought you hated the guy? Now he's your best bud? You know how long Stacy and me waited for you at Joe's last week?!"
He stood staring at me, like I'd gone insane. In a way, I had.
"We were supposed to study for Jameson's test. Only problem was you weren't there. You wanna know what grade I got, F, that's right FAIL. But I don't see you running to help me. Didn't even bother to ask."
He didn't even have the decency to let me finish without interupting.
Jessie: "Josh man-", I went on though, I couldn't stop, it just came out, it felt like all the emotion I'd bottled up just exploded,
" I mean I could understand that...you were dealin' with Brad that weekend and you were busy, but now, what he's your best friend now?"
Then he started talkin' about...guess..Brad. Brad, Brad, Brad!!! Always Brad!! When was he gonna see that this was about me and him, not that mother fucker Summers!?!,
Jessie: "Josh Brad's not really a bad guy, if you get to know him-"
What the fuck was he talking about. He didn't know the real Brad. Hell, I didn't even know the real Brad, and I talk to a lot more people than he ever did. What could he have possibly have known about Brad in the past WEEK, that could compare to eleven years of what we had. My rage surfaced again,
"Oh yeah....so tell me, what exactly do you know about him? How long have you KNOWN him?"
He didn't say anything at first.
Jessie: "Josh, Brad really needs the help, or he'll get thrown off the football team"
Oh, boo hoo! Poor baby.
I couldn't take it anymore, "Brad's a total jerk. You know what, never mind. Just thought you'd be smart enough to know who your real friends were."
That must have gooten him upset. Good, let him feel what it's like.
Jessie: "Josh, your'e a selfish son of a bitch, can't you stop thinking 'bout yourself for one frickin' moment? We can always hang out any time, but Brad doesn't have that time to spare."
Yeah, he had the nerve to call me selfish. Selfish...after all the effort I'd put in for the past eleven years.
I just couldn't bear to see him in front of me anymore, so with a "Fuck you", I was gone. Stacy tried to get me to go with her to Joe's, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to go home either. I'm sure I looked so messed up, I wouldn't be able to hide it from the 'rents. I just needed some time alone.
And so, here I was. The park, next to the fountain. It was the most secluded area of the entire enclosure. Perfect place to hide. Jessie and I used to come here when we were little to play hide and seek. Sometimes we'd bring Stacy along to play, but it always remained pretty much our place.
Our place. Well I guess there's no more 'our'. Probably never was.
I didn't know what to think anymore. I thought I hated Jessie this afternoon. But then I realised, that just wasn't it. When you really love someone, that's all you ever do. Regardless of what you might say to them or do to hurt them, it's not hate that motivates it, it's....love. I could never hate Jessie.
Brad Summers was a different matter. I've never felt such malice towards someone else as I felt towards him. He thinks he running a smoothe game...we'll see. I'll find a to show Jess just what his true motives are. I won't let him hurt Jessie. Then again, Brad was such a jerk, he'd probably fuck it up on his own....and I'd be there to pick up the pieces.
The only other person I hated more than Brad was..me. Why didn't I see this from the beginning? Why'd didn't I nip it in the bud? I realise just how wrong I was to say what I said to Jessie..he was the innocent in all this. God, he's so innocent, Brad might just be able to con him. In seven short days Brad had started to act towards Jessie like I usually did, and I had treated Jess like Brad would have. Just then the bushes parted, a lone figure stepped into the light. It was...Jess.
JESSIE'S POINT OF VIEW-THE PARK
I'd checked everywhere for Josh. The arcade, the basketball court, even Joe's. I just didn't know where else to look. Then it hit me. But what were the odd? He wouldn't be there. Didn't know if he'd remember it. The park, near the fountain, had always been my favourite hideaway growing up. Me and Josh spent a lot of time there. I remembered how we'd play hide and seek. Even though Josh was supposed to hide and I was supposed to seek, whenever my back was turned, he'd come out from whatever bush he was hiding from, sneak up on me, and tickle me mercilessly until I had to beg him to stop. Hmmm....happier times.
Well, it was worth a shot. When your drowning, you'll clutch at a straw. I made my way to the park. God, it was creepy. Even though the moon was out and the electric lights were fully functional, it still looked fresh out a horror flick. I finally emerged near the fountain. Damn! He's not here. My heart sank. I honestly didn't know where to look.
As I turned my back however, someone grabbed me from behind and held their hands over my mouth. I was effectively gagged. I expected to be robbed or somethin' but not....tickled?
Josh!, I thought, I found him, even as I crashed laughing uncontrollably to the floor. He didn't look mad. Thank goodness.
"Josh, come on man stop!", I begged.
Josh: "Not without the magic word!"
"Please Josh, I can't take anymore", I said.
He stopped. I watched him in the face. He suddenly seemed sadder. I began my apology,
"Josh, I'm sorry, I just don't know what came over me. I didn't mean it. Really. I mean you're the most unselfish person I know." He cut me off.
Josh: "It's partly my fault too. I shouldn't said the things I said. It's just that..well. I feel that in seven days Brad's kinda replaced me.....and Stacy. I mean, you blew me and, Stace off like two times now. And well it just got to me."
At least the apologies weren't hard. I continued, "Josh, you wren't planning anything stupid were you?"
Josh: "Me?..no. I was gonna go home later. I just needed some time alone to think. I just want you to know, well what I said , I didn't mean it. I just kinda lost control."
"It's okay Josh, first time for everything. Well you better get home now...speaking of which I gotta go to."
Josh: "The 'rents are gonna be pissed"
I decided to cheer him up, "Well, look at it this way, you won't have to worry about the F, you'll have bigger fish to fry. Say if your'e not doin' anything tomorrow, maybe we could pick up Stace and chill at Joe's"
Josh: "You for real?"
"Yeah...tell you what, I'll even take you up on that Triple Fudge Sundae."
He grinned and went our separate ways. I snuck back into the house. Good the lights were off. That meant that my parents hadn't woken up and discovered me gone. I went into my room, called Stacy, reassured her and got some well deserved shut eye. Just before I popped off I wondered if Josh would be getting any sleep when he went home that night. Lol Guess not....