Phoenix Here again. Thanx once more to all those new faces on my group. Especially those of you who've posted those messages and sent me all those emails. Email at phoenix_587@yahoo.com to let me know what you think.
Calistroke23(chellebelle) thanx again. You just seem to know just what to say. Thanks for being undrstanding with my exams and all.
If VI's reading this..well sorry. I've emailed you. You might want to change yur site intro (ANY thing goes lol). Thanx for being so nice to me about it.
Oh and thanx for the encouragement Browny.
You too Quigley.
Chapter 9-
JOSH'S POINT OF VIEW-SUNDAY MORNING
Josh is remembering yesterday morning's events.
What a life to live! Just when I thought that everything between me and Jessie was back to normal, something had to fuck it up. Well...not something, someone. Who else?...Brad Summers. That son of a bitch was getting on my last nerves....I'd have to figure out a way to deal with him and his shit.
Yesterday had started out good enough. I mean Jessie had promised me Friday night in the park, that we'd hang out at Joe's, and he delivered. I didn't have to call him either. He showed up at my door before I was even ready....with Stacy to boot. I wouldn't even have to worry about waiting on her ( I swear that girl spends an hour in the shower! ). That was one of the things I loved about Jess. He was just so...organised. He could add some order in my sometimes chaotic life. Even when we had group projects, back when we sat together ( the good ol' days ), he was the one that did most of the work. Not that I was lazy or anything ( well okay...maybe little ), but Jess knew exactly when to, how to, and what to do. Even when I'd gone "missing" Friday, and everyone was worried and didn't know where to find me...Jessie did.
He didn't disappoint yesterday either. He had to wait with Stacy while I got ready, but I didn't keep them too long. Besides they were chatting with my parents in the living room, I could hear 'em,
Josh's Mom- "So where are you kids heading out to today?"
Kids?!?...honestly Jess and Stacy were 16 and I was 17.
Jess: "We're going to Joe's Mrs. Mckenzie."
Josh's Dad: "On the boulevard?"
Stacy: "Yeah...right there, next to the mini-mall."
The 'rents again. Ever since my "disappearence" on Friday, they asked me for directions. It didn't matter if I was leaving the house or on my way to the bathroom! They were only looking out for me..I know. But seriously....I wasn't gonna run away or anything. That would mean leaving Jessie behind. With you know who...hmph! No way was I gonna do that! I bet he'd like it if I were outta the picture. While I got ready the 'rents continued their conversation with Jessie and Stacy,
Josh's Mom: "So Jessie...Stacy, you two finally started dating yet?"
Jessie: "Uh...Mrs. Mckenzie, Stacy and I aren't dating, we're just friends, that's all, really."
Stacy: "Yeah Mrs. Mckenzie..we're just real good friends."
Josh's Mom: "I asked if you'd started dating..not each other. Really...then how come, whenever I see either of you, your'e always together? I don't think I can remember seeing either of you alone for the past few months."
Josh's Dad: "Come to think of it. Whenever one of you comes over to see Joshua, the other's sure to be tagging along...hehe. What's the matter Jessie? Don't trust my boy around your girl? Hehe."
Jessie: "She's not-"
Stacy: "I'm not his girl. He's more like a little brother."
Jessie: "Hey! Little brother? Your'e only a couple of months older than me."
Josh's Mom: "If you say so..."
"What's the matter Jessie? Don't trust my boy around your girl?"
Nothing to worry about there dad. But the thought of Stacy and Jessie together...well I had mixed feelings. I know they were real close. Sometimes I was a little jealous, there was just this special bond they seemed to share. Still, if Jessie decided to settle with some chick, I'd want it to be Stacy. No one else. Stacy was someone who I was sure loved him, almost as much as I did. With a little effort on my part, I might even bring myself to be happy for them. Anyway, I went downstairs and tried to rush them outta the door, hoping to avoid-
Josh's Dad: "And don't be home later than four o' clock. Your'e still on parole young man."
Damn! So we reached Joe's and I went to order while Stacy and Jess went to our favorite back table. I didn't even have to ask what to get. It was all routine. As I waited in line to order, I watched them, talking, laughing together. They were really close....maybe it's true. Maybe theyr'e...-
"And what would you like to order young man?"
"Uh, a Triple Fudge Sundae ( didn't want to forget that! ), a latte and an expresso.", I answered. I headed back to our table. I bowed and presented the Triple Fudge Sundae to Jess-
"I humbly present this token of appreciation to his Majesty, for honouring us with his presence."
To any onlooker, they'd probably take it as a joke. But I knew better...I meant every word I'd said. Jessie was the one and only person who had, utter and complete rule over my heart. We settled down to some small talk. They asked me how come the 'rents seemed so calm after the "Friday Night Incident" . I was only too happy to tell them.
"I'm a smoothe talker...." Yeah, I really worked a number on the 'rents all right. One for the record books if I do say so myself. If only I could smoothe talk Jess with the same gratifying results...then I'd be set for life. Stacy didn't think so though,
Stacy: "Josh, it's not right to toy with peoples' feelings like that. I'm ashamed of you."
Don't toy with people's feelings? Why not? That's wht everyone's been doing to me lately. Well at least Jess thought it was funny. I loved making my boy laugh.
I explained that I HAD to do it, or I'd be grounded until I was 25. I would have done it anyway, just to get out of trouble, but there was another ( to me, more important ) reason. If I'd waited to do it, I wouldn't be sitting down right here, right now with Jess. It was so long since we'd all hung out and now I didn't even have him next to me, as often as I would like in school. (Jameson switching us around had gotten' around in the teacher's staff room. Apparently most of the other teachers like the change. I was so gonna pay her back when Hell Day rolled around ).
It was right about then that the freaky shit started. Jessie started to get all nervous and tense. What was going on here? I mean he was looking all around like he was a convict on the run or something. The next thing I knew he was asking,
Jessie: "Uh, guys can we go now?"
What? I was, to be honest a little mad. I didn't show it though. I so didn't want a repeat of Friday.
"Why? We just got here. You haven't even eaten your Sundae yet.". I countered.
Stacy: "Yeah Jess. Come on. You owe us. You stood us up last week and made us wait four hours."
Yes! My girl Stace got my back.
Jessie: "Yeah, but we could still hang out at my place. Just not here. Not now."
Well, at least he wasn't tryin' to ditch me. What was the deal...Wait is that who I think it is? Walking up to us? No not US, Jessie. Now I got it. It was Brad that had him so fidgety. I knew the fucker would mess up. I didn't care what had happened. My boy was back! I started packing right then and there. We could still hang at his place..away from Brad.
"Yeah, man. Anything you want. We can chill at your place. It's kinda hot in here anyway. Stacy, come on let's go.", I said truing to hurry us out of there before Brad could open his serpent's mouth.
Stacy: "What are you talking about. We haven't even been here for ten minutes yet."
Damn! Honestly, I love Stacy to death, but now the girl was acting like a stubborn BeeAtch. ( I couldn't bring myself to call her a bitch ).
"Jessie wants to hang out at home, what's it matter as long as were all hanging out.", I argued.
Too fucking late! Brad was spitting out his poison.
Brad: "Jess,I need to talk to you, it's important, real important."
That's MR. JESSIE LAWRENCE JR. to you!
What the hell did he have to say that was so important?
Jessie: " Brad uh I was just gonna leave actually..I really just hav to go home."
Yes! I knew my boy wouldn't let me down. I couldn't help the look of victory I shot him.
Brad: "It won't take long just a couple of minutes..that's all"
Was this guy seriously this dense? I decided to end this then and there,
"He said he has to go-", didn't get to finish.
Brad: "When I'm talking to you, you'll know it Mckenzie"
Before I could retort, Jessie spoke up,
Jessie: "Okay, Brad, what's so important?"
What? Why the sudden change?
Brad: "I kinda need to tell you alone. Um..."
"Uh the bathroom's empty", Jessie said, "I'll be right back guys".
And he was gone. Stacy was just sipping that stupid latte like nothin' out of the ordinary was happening. What was going on in there? Why were they taking so long? Wait why did I have to be worried? It was'n like Jessie was gay or anything...right. I knew what Brad was up to.( The Look told me that.). Brad had as much of a chance with Jessie as I did. Didn't mean I liked it that he was trying though. Brad came out of the bathroom...smiling..Smiling! Then Jessie came out with this stupid grin on his face. ( It was actually real cute...). He came over to us and sat back down. I thought he wanted to go home.
"Aren't we going over to your house?", I asked.
"Nah...why waste a good Triple Fudge Sundae", he said.
Stacy started giggling and looking at him funny. They were obviously sharing something I wasn't a part of. Here Jessie was sharing some secret with her...and was acting like nothing was going on. Maybe Brad wasn't the only problem. He seemed to be sharing stuff with everyone else but me.
And so here I was pondering...1:00 a.m. Sunday...no wait, Monday morning. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to to talk to some one about...Ever since this crazy week I couldn't take it anymore. I had to share my secret. It's too much to take on my own. I had to talk to Stacy. I couldn't share this with Jessie. I didn't know what he'd think of me..besides in some small way I was angry at him.. He wasn't sharing his latest stuff with me so why should I? While I was at it I might as well find out if anything was going on between her and Jessie. It'd hurt if I was right..but I wanted to know. I picked up my phone and started to dial...hope she wouldn't be mad at me calling so late.
STACY'S POINT OF VIEW-MONDAY MORNING 1:00 A.M.
Huh? Brad Pitt? Here in my room! I knew he'd come running once Jennifer left him!
Ring! What?!?
Ring!
Oh...God the phone. Who'd be calling me now? This had better be good!
Josh: "Stacy, I'm sorry for calling so late, but I really need to talk to you. I...don't know who else to talk to."
Josh .This sounded serious. I haven't ever heard Josh talk like this before. I better talk to him now. Maybe I could get some more info on his strange behaviour lately.
"Josh..it's okay really. I was kinda waking...studying and all."
Josh: "Oh. Stacy I have to tell you something, but I don't know if you'll...still like me after I do. I mean..well I don't know if you'll freak out on me."
"Josh it's okay. I'm a big girl. I'm sure I can handle it."
Josh: "Your'e sure?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm sure", just what is it he's so afraid to tell me? He's normally so sure of himself.
Josh: "Stacy...I'm.."
"Your'e what Josh?"
Josh: "I'm...gay."
Huh?! Did he just say..
Josh: "I'm gay Stacy...I just couldn't take it anymore..I had to tell someone. I was afraid of telling my parents or Jessie so I had no one else to..I'm sorry if I made you mad..I'll just go.."
"Josh, that's okay. I'm not mad at you. There's nothing wrong. I mean your still the same you and all. Your'e still my friend, you are still my friend right?"
Josh: "You know it."
Well at least he wasn't in denial about who he was. Still how did he know he was gay...was he...seeing someone.
" Josh...just how do you know your gay? You seeing someone? How long have you known?"
Josh: " I've known for along time...since I was twelve. And about seeing anyone...well I'm not sure I want to talk about it..yet."
"It's okay Josh. I'm not pushing."
Silence.
Josh: "So what about you, you seeing anyone?"
"What do you mean Josh?"
Josh: "Well...you and Jess seem real tight..are you two"
"Oh not you too..I'm not going out with Jessie, he's-"
Oh God! Thank goodness I stopped myself. I almost slipped.
Josh: "He's what Stacy?"
"He's...like my brother Josh"
Josh: "Oh that's great. Well got to go..school tomorrow and all. See ya!"
"Bye Josh". With a click he hung up.
Will the shocking revalations never end?! Josh gay? How on earth had I missed that? I mean I was the one who was able to guess that Jessie was gay and Jessie wasn't able to tell about Josh? And Josh couldn't tell about Jessie? Did I honestly have better Gaydar than a gay guy. Damn! I'm good!
That was when I began to see glimpses of the wider picture. Wait a sec. Jessie didn't know Josh was gay...okay. Josh didn't know Jessie was gay...okay. Brad knew Jessie was gay and Jessie and Brad were now officially ( okay secretly ) an item. So far so good. But Josh's weird behaviour started when Brad came into all our lives. Was Josh more than just a little jealous of Brad's "frienship" with Jessie. I mean that's all Josh thought it was right? I mean he didn't know Jessie was gay. Oh no! What if Josh knew that Brad was caught up with Jessie? Is that why he's been so aggressive ot him lately? But Josh only thinks Brad is being friendly...right? Oh my God! Did Josh have feelings for Jessie? I was by now replaying our conversation.
We were talking about him being gay...I asked him if he was seeing anyone...he twisted it back on me and asked me the same thing. I'll be damned! The boy really was smoothe. I didn't even pick up on it.
Josh: "Well...you and Jess seem real tight..are you two"
He asked me about JESSIE? I told him we weren't and he said,
Josh: "Oh that's great. Well got to go..school tomorrow and all. See ya!"
Great?!? He sounded a little too happy to hear that.
I thought about yesterday. Josh only got so mad when Brad was around...Jessie. I thought about the incident Monday, the near fight. I thought about the "presentation" he'd given Jessie yesterday,
Josh: "I humbly present this token of appreciation to his Majesty, for honouring us with his presence."
Now it all made sense. God, I wonder just what he's going through? Now his disappearance made sense. Now his aggressive attitude was making...sense.
Damn...why'd this have to happen to me. And I can't tell Jessie either. How was I gonna deal with this stress? My only hope was if they told each other. They had to. It'll hurt Josh when he finds out, but he's just going to have to deal with it. I hope he can...Gosh! I'm soo beat....