*********** DISCLAIMER: This story is not real. Comprende? *NSync (ie-- Chris and JC) may or may not be gay. Who cares? Whatever floats their respective boats is their business and not mine. So please don't e-mail me and ask me if they're gay, cause I have no clue.
Thanks go out to my muses: Dara, Red, Tariana, Jackie and Casey. Without you guys, I wouldn't be writing so much. And that goes for everyone who has e-mailed me, too. THANK YOU, all of you.
Special thanks to Kenitra ("Millennium Love") for the idea for the story's format. The song & lyrics are by Sarah McLachlan. **********
Scarce Heard Amid The Guns Below 18- Hold On - JC POV By Colleen
I brought Chris back to Orlando with me. It took some doing on my part, but he's here. With me. Beside me, where he should be. But I'm not going to tell him that, not yet. He's currently downstairs, playing with the PlayStation we bought ourselves about three months before this whole mess started. Chris was actually pretty shocked to see I hadn't trashed it, but I couldn't. It was one of the only things I had left of him when he left me the second time.
I had to practically bribe his boss to let Chris leave--again--and I had to explain my reasons for coming to see Chris in the first place. THAT question threw me for a loop. How do you explain to someone the depth of your feeling for another person, good or bad? I needed closure, is what I finally told the doctor. I needed to see if what we had could ever be repaired in order for me to move on. He believed me, and let Chris go.
I had to deal with Danielle, too. It's odd, knowing that my... boyfriend's? Is Chris my boyfriend, still? Anyway, it's odd knowing that Chris and his ex-girlfriend share such a close relationship. Their love of each other almost makes me jealous, but I love Dani too much to hate her. I also can't say anything about Dani because I have Bobbie. We broke up almost a year ago, but we're still pretty close. I guess that makes me and Chris even. A sound interrupts my thoughts. The phone downstairs is ringing, but Chris gets it before I can. I pick up the other extension, though, and listen in.
"Hello?"
"CHRIS?" Why is Lance calling my house?
"Yeah, it's me."
"What are you doing at JC's place?" Lance asks.
"What are you doing CALLING JC's place?" Chris counters and Lance laughs.
"I wanted to know if he knew where you were. I called your boss about an hour ago and he said you had left." Chris suddenly appears in the doorway of my room, smiling.
"Josh came to get me."
"He what?"
"I'll let him tell you."
"Hi, Lance," I speak up and there's the sound of him dropping the phone. Chris and I both snicker. It feels good to be doing something with him, even if it's just simple laughter. This is something I've missed over the last little while.
"Why did..."
"I needed to talk to Chris," I tell Lance, shooting a glance at Chris. "I got my act together and we talked. SERIOUSLY talked for a while."
"So Justin did beat some sense into you?" Chris looks at me funny.
"No, not Justin. I think it was more Chris leaving again that made me think." A look of pain crosses Chris's face and I reach over to hug him. "It's OK, hon. I needed that knock upside the head."
"I'm glad you came," Chris says softly in my ear. Lance coughs loudly to let us both know he's still on the line.
"Is everything OK over there?" he asks. Chris pulls away from me.
"I'm fine, Scoop. Josh, can you hang up the phone, please? I want to talk to Lance alone."
"Sure," I say, hanging up my phone and going downstairs to give him the privacy he wants. Heading for my studio, I sit at the piano and tinker for a while. I don't even hear Chris come down the stairs, so when someone sits next to me on the bench, it scares me.
"Lance wants to talk to you," Chris says, handing me the phone. Taking it, I turn slightly away.
"Yo?"
"Chris told me what you guys have been talking about," Lance says bluntly. I raise an eyebrow-- this boy sure doesn't hold back!
"Then I assume he also told you that we're working on rebuilding a friendship."
"Just... be careful, Josh. I don't want either one of you to go through that again." I'm touched that Lance cares so much.
"I promise, Lance. I can't speak for Chris," shooting him a look, "but I can tell you this-- I promise I will do everything in my power not to hurt him."
"Chris said that, too," Lance tells me, smile evident in his voice. "You guys belong together, Josh. Don't let anything get between you guys again."
"I promise, Lance." And if I have anything to do with it, this promise will last forever.
***** ... And now you're sleeping peaceful And I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow And we will see another day And we will praise it and love the light That brings a smile across your face. *****