Sea Change

Sea Change, Chp 27

I wish to retain all rights to this story. However, I am delighted to grant permission to any person to publish this story as long as there is no charge to the reader and as long as no changes are made to the story.

Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

SEA CHANGE

CHAPTER 27 — Colin's Adventure

The beating Jimmy gave me at the beginning of the summer and the promises Daniel and I exchanged at the end, marked that summer as one of the biggest in my life. Significant things happened, right up through my last days before leaving for school. And not all the significant things happened to me.

. . . . .

Colin glanced my way and grinned as we watched Dad sort through fishing gear in the garage. Colin had been smiling ever since Daniel left for Houston.

“Here you go,” Dad said, handing two poles to Colin, who took them and grabbed up the tackle box. He almost bounded for the Bronco.

“He’s sure anxious to fish,” I observed.

“He’s anxious to go to the beach with his big brother,” Dad corrected. He came alongside me and laid his hand on my shoulder. “You have no idea,” he said, “how much Colin looks up to you, Sean. He thinks the world of you and he’s been excited all week that you’re taking him down to the Island.”

“I’m grateful to him, Dad. I’ve told Colin, I’ll always owe him for taking care of me this summer.”

Dad nodded. “He’s a nice kid, Sean. And don’t be fooled by how tall he’s gotten; he is still a kid. You’re his big brother. You have a huge influence on him.” Then Dad leaned back, his eyes looking speculatively into mine as though he was trying to decide whether or not to say something. Finally, he simply squeezed my shoulder. “Take good care of your brother, Sean.”

Dad was always skilful at saying things without saying them. I was sure that whatever else he might be implying, taking care of Colin probably meant, don’t turn him on to being gay. But that was OK. I was glad Colin wanted to be straight; it was hard to be gay.

Colin drove with the windows down, and the wind blew his deep red hair about his sunglasses and the planes of his cheeks. He looked cool. He looked older.

Then I smiled because his blowing red hair reminded me of when we were little kids and that mop of red hair followed me everywhere. We were buddies back then, Colin and I. We were closer, I think, than most brothers, even from the beginning. That’s why, whenever Mom or Dad mentioned the possibility of each of us having our own room, we weren’t interested.

But now this fall, for the first time, Colin wouldn’t be my roommate any more.

. . . . .

Colin unloaded the car while I took my time getting to the room on my cane. And after we changed, I wanted Colin’s help to get down to the beach since my cane would be no good in the sand. As we prepared to leave the room, I gathered up towels and sunscreen, and when I threw my arm over his shoulder, I suddenly realized that for the first time I had to look up at Colin; he had grown so fast that summer that his eyes were at a higher level than mine.

It dawned on him, too. I could see the realization in his eyes. He grinned.

“It’s my knee,” I complained. “I’m slumping.”

“I’m taller,” he said, and then skipped from under my arm. “I’m taller than Shaaaaaa-un,” he sang.

He danced a circle around the room, while I stood in mock impatience. Colin had grown so fast that he was thin as a willow. And as he danced, I was damned tempted to tackle the skinny fart. “You’re just lucky my knee sucks, Prick. Otherwise, I’d put you in your place.”

“Whoa!” he said, stopping in front of me. “I’m sooooo scared of my… big brother.” Then he laughed. “Make that my… little brother.”

It was an uprising that had to be put down quickly. With a growl, I lunged and took him down to the floor, gritting my teeth as I did my best to protect my knee.

Once I had him safely down, it was simple enough to overpower him. I reversed myself over him, wrapping my arms around his torso and pinning his face with my belly.

The problem with Colin though, was that you could torture him all day and he’d never surrender; he’d never cry “uncle.” He had inherited as much stubbornness from my mom as I had. Nevertheless, looking down at his bare stomach, I decided to begin the torture anyway. And he knew it was coming; his ab muscles tensed.

I licked my lips and blew a huge raspberry, right in the middle.

Colin howled and drew his knees up. I blew another and he tried to buck. I was going for my third, juicy raspberry when he used the ultimate weapon – he dug his fingers into my ribs.

It was my turn to howl. He dug in more and I quickly pushed off and rolled away from him.

I watched him warily as I caught my breath. “Let that be a lesson to you,” I said. “I’ll always be able to take you.”

Colin sat up, wiping saliva from his stomach with a grimace. “Yeah, well, short people always have nasty tempers.”

I grabbed up a bottle of sunscreen and threw it at him.

. . . . .

We set our stuff down close to the water. “Sunscreen first,” I insisted.

Colin sunburned easily, especially at the Island, and I didn’t want a painful burn to spoil his trip. South Texans were careful about that sort of thing.

I looked him over with new appreciation as I rubbed in the lotion. He had grown fast and he was willowy the way some kids get at that age; willowy in a graceful, lean way. It surprised me how hard his body was beneath his soft skin. I nodded to myself; graceful was the right word… graceful and lean as a gazelle.

He had long lines and it took long strokes of my hand to smooth the lotion down his back. “You gonna go for first string junior varsity?” I asked, “Or do you think you can make backup quarterback on the varsity?”

“Neither,” he said with a smile. “I’m goin’ for first string quarterback on the varsity.”

He was good. He might just make it. I laughed and slapped his butt. “Go swim!” I told him, limping forward onto firmer, wet sand. “I’ll sit here.”

“Don’t you want to get in the water?” he asked.

I sat down at the waves’ highest reach on the sand. “Go on,” I told him. “I’ll cool off here, but I can’t go out there,” I said, pointing to the breakers. “What with the waves and all, I’d need both legs.”

“Wimp!” Colin teased, and as a wave came in, he kicked water at me skillfully with his toes.

“Feel’s good!” I said. “Keep doing it.”

Colin shot me the finger. Then as the next wave came in, he scooped up handfuls of water, throwing them my way.

I scooted and rolled toward him. The beach was flat there, and the waves spread over the sand, only inches deep for several yards out. Keeping on my butt and my side, I splashed back at him, giving Colin back as good as he gave.

When he got close enough, I grabbed an ankle and jerked, trying to pull him down, but he danced away. I had on my baggy swimsuit and with the speed of a striking snake, Colin jumped over me and gave a quick tug to one leg, almost pulling them down. Then with a final laugh and a splash, he high-stepped over the shallow waves and out into the water.

I watched him head out toward the second sand bar and then worked myself back out to the edge of the water, just far enough that each incoming wave washed under me before receding for the next. And as Colin swam, I scooped sand from between my legs, looking for small creatures in the fill water.

Before long, a young mom came down to the water, holding a small boy by one hand, a small girl by the other, and carrying a bag over her shoulder. The boy looked to be four or five, and the girl, maybe three. They all had light brown hair and were tanned as though they were used to being out.

The mom was slender, though her belly had that faint puffiness which I’ve since learned even fit women get after bearing a child. She was pretty though, with nice breasts.

I smiled, realizing that even though I was gay, I had definite ideas about what was beautiful in a woman. And breasts couldn’t be too big. Unlike straight guys, I hated baggy, bulging, boobs. I liked small, pert ones. And this mom had them.

She saw me looking and smiled. Then her son broke away from her, dashing over to see what I was digging in the sand. His sister broke away to follow and she reminded me of Colin at that age, always needing to see what I was into.

The two kids and I began to build a sand castle while their mom set down her shoulder bag on dry sand and eventually joined us. She was friendly and introduced herself as Liz.

Meanwhile, out in the waves, Colin made friends as well. I saw him with two guys about our age. They were body surfing from the second sand bar, and doing well because the waves were fairly high. I wished I could join them

“Do you have sun screen on your back?” Liz asked.

I shrugged. Since I was darker than Colin, I hadn’t asked him to put any on.

“You’ll burn,” she said. And without asking, she picked up my lotion and spread it on me.

. . . . .

“So, does Liz want to jump your bones?” Colin asked as he chewed a bite of pizza and stared out the window at the beach. The sand had turned golden in the light of the setting sun.

“She’s married, Colin,” I said, before taking a bite myself. “She was just being friendly because of her kids.”

“Yeah, right,” he said with a wink.

“I’m gay, Colin,” I reminded him.

“No one’s that gay,” he said. “She’s really hot.”

“You’d be surprised how gay I am,” I said.

“Ha! You can’t tell me you’d kick Liz outta bed.”

For a brief moment, I remembered her slender body, the gentle curve of her hips, and the way her breasts were just the right size for your hand. And I remembered what it was like to make love to a woman.

Colin saw the hesitation. “Ha!” he repeated.

“Fuck, you!” I said. “I’d kick her outta bed unless I was really, really horny and there wasn’t a guy around for miles.” And then I felt bad for talking about Liz like that, because she was nice.

“Sean,” Colin asked, chewing thoughtfully, “you think you’ll ever get married and have kids?” He glanced at me, and before I could answer, he continued. “Because kids like you, and you like kids. Hell, everyone likes you, Sean. You’re a nice guy. You need to get married some day and have kids.”

“Thanks for the advice,” I answered ruefully.

“Yeah, well you need to,” he repeated.

. . . . .

It was Colin’s fault; his talk about getting married made me lonely for Daniel.

“He just left this morning, Sean,” Colin complained as I dialed Daniel’s phone number.

“I just want to say hi real quick.”

Colin sighed and went out onto the balcony.

“Hey, lover,” Daniel said, sleepily. “I was just taking a nap.”

“You have a good trip back?” I asked.

“Yeah. Missing you the whole time.”

I cradled the phone. “Yeah, I’m missing you, too. I’m afraid it’s pissing Colin off, though.”

“I don’t blame him,” Daniel said. “You’re supposed to be having fun together. Take him fishing or something.”

“We’re about to leave; night fishing. I just wanted to tell you I love you.”

“I love you, too…” he lowered his voice. “… Beloved.”

“Won’t be long,” I said. “We’ll be up at school and seeing each other.”

He was quiet a moment. “Umm,” Daniel said. “I need to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Well, Robert called after I got home. There’s a big end of summer party at his house on Friday night,” he said. “But I already told them, ‘No.’”

Though he couldn’t see me, I nodded. “I know you want to say goodbye to your friends, Dan, but those parties get crazy. I’m glad you told them ‘No.”

He took a deep breath. “Look, Sean. You’re right. I would like to say goodbye to my friends. And well, there’s saying “Good Bye” and saying “Good Bye.” I know that Scott wants to get it on one last time before we head off to school. Robert probably wants to as well.”

“Geez, Dan, we just said goodbye this morning,” I told him. Then I thought of Ryan, Aaron, and Jorge. If they wanted to say goodbye that way, I’d probably want to. “I guess I’m cool with it,” I told him. “After all, you won’t be seeing them for a while.”

“Yeah. Maybe not for a long time.”

“What if Aaron or Jorge want to say goodbye to me like that? Or Ryan, if we got a chance?”

The line was silent a moment. “Yeah, I guess that’s cool. You certainly won’t be seeing those guys for a while either. Just save plenty for me,” he said.”

“All the best parts,” I told him.

. . . . .

Colin cast his fishing line out past the lights. It was a good cast. He sensed me watching, turned my way, and smiled.

And I thought I could remember the first time Dad took us fishing. I couldn’t have been much over five years old. Dad strapped each of us into bright orange life vests and I remember feeling grown up wearing mine. I smiled, remembering that Dad spent the whole afternoon untangling our fishing lines. But it had been fun. The wind, the water, the sun, and the wide variety of fish everyone else was catching… I remember bending over a dead fish that was lying on the dock. Its tiny silver scales reflected the sun in countless miniature rainbows, and it was the first time I was fascinated by a living (or rather, formerly living) creature. It was the seed from which my love of biology sprouted.

Colin had another fish on, and was grinning from ear to ear. The world was a great place, I decided, when good things happened to good people.

. . . . .

We fished again the next morning, rising early to catch a bay fishing boat. As the boat made its way down the channel, we watched a dad hold the back of his little boy’s pants while the boy pissed off the rear of the boat. It was mostly guys on the boat, and boat toilets are pretty bad. I couldn’t blame them.

Colin leaned over. “Remember when we used to piss on each other in the bath?”

I nodded. Colin and I bathed together until I was about eight, and then we still did occasionally for a couple more years after that. “That was when we were really little,” I told him. “Don’t go getting any ideas.”

He chuckled and elbowed me. “Remember when mom caught you pissing on me and busted your butt.”

“Well yeah,” I told him. “I was mad as hell because you had just pissed on me and she wouldn’t listen.”

“I still have to piss every time I take a shower,” Colin confided. “Sorta a reflex, I guess.”

“No kidding? Me too! I always piss in the shower, even in gym.”

“Well we aren’t the only ones to do that,” he said. “I’ve seen other guys take leaks in the gym showers… “

“Tell Stef,” I said. “He used to have a fit every time he caught me doing it. I guess he thought it’d rot his feet off.”

“Remember when Stef used to spend the night and we took baths together? Didn’t we ever piss on him then?”

“Only under water,” I said with a chuckle.

. . . . .

It was close to noon before the boat headed back toward the dock. Colin leaned on the boat railing, watching over the side as we cut through the water. The wind pressed his swim trunks against his ass, outlining fine butt cheeks. I smiled; I was proud of how Colin looked.

I stepped up beside him and rubbed his back. I’d had enough sex the previous couple of weeks that even I was ready for a break. And yet, thinking about leaving Colin behind as I headed off to college, I could almost wish he’d want to mess around while we were at the beach. But I wouldn’t try unless he wanted to. He was too worried about being gay.

We returned to the hotel room at noon with enough fish to finish filling the freezing compartment of the hotel refrigerator.

I still hadn’t caught up on my sleep, and we were both tired. So after we each cleaned up, we napped.

When I stumbled from bed that afternoon, I found Colin at the sliding glass door to the balcony, eating a bowl of cereal, nude.

“A little proud of our stuff this afternoon?” I asked. “Standing at the window for the whole world to see.”

Colin turned my way and shrugged. “No one can see anything. The balcony railing blocks the view from waist down.”

For a sixteen-year-old, he certainly had plenty to be proud of. He was well hung and looked pretty awesome naked — long, slender legs; long slender torso; deep red hair; creamy skin… then I noticed; his back was pink.

“We need to keep you well sunscreened,” I said, joining him at the window.

He glanced down my naked body. “A little proud of our stuff this afternoon?” he asked with a smile.

He was right that the wooden railing of the balcony partially blocked the view from the beach, but I still felt exposed, and that was sorta cool.

“What’s good for a goose is good for a gander,” I said.

“That’s not the way the saying goes.”

“It is now,” I said, limping to the coffee table to retrieve the sunscreen lotion. I returned to Colin and applied it to his neck and back while he ate his cereal.

Colin jumped at the cool lotion.

“Dude,” I told him. “You gotta remember that you burn when you try to tan. It’s good we didn’t hit the beach this morning. You’re not burned too bad yet, but we need to be careful out there.”

“You going to wear your baggy swimsuit again today?” he asked as I worked down his back.

“Yeah, I thought I would.”

“Can I wear your other suit, then?” he asked. “Your special suit?”

I chuckled. “My magic speedos? The ones that everybody stares at?” I asked, referring to the swimbriefs Daniel had bought me before our first bike tour.

“Yep.”

In my rubbing, I reached his butt. “In that case,” I said, spreading lotion over his white butt cheeks, “we better put some lotion here.”

He laughed. “You just want to feel my butt.”

It struck me as funny that when Daniel showed up two weeks before, Colin said he wasn’t happy with my being gay, but now that Daniel was gone, Colin didn’t mind joking about it at all. Daniel thought that Colin was simply jealous of him, and I was beginning to agree.

“Nothing wrong with your butt,” I said, and tested my OK-to-joke-gay theory by rubbing lotion between his legs.

“Geez, Sean,” he said. “You trying to get me hard so I can’t fit in your swimsuit?”

“You can wear the suit,” I said. “I’m just waking myself up from my nap.”

“Yeah, well you’re waking me up too… too much.”

“OK,” I said with a loud sigh, and knelt to do the back of his legs. “But I’m just rubbing lotion anywhere you might burn.”

“I’m not swimming naked,” Colin said.

“Wearing my magic swimsuit is almost like swimming naked.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, with a chuckle.

The suit fit Colin about like it fit me. The top barely cleared his pubes in front and his butt crack in back. The space between the “V” of his lower ab muscles and his hipbones left small gaps between his skin and the waistband, inviting peeks. His tight butt filled the back while the front looked almost obscenely heavy with his cock and balls.

“I’m not responsible,” I told him as we prepared to cross the sand, “if you get sexually assaulted by a throng of horny teenage girls.”

“Sure you are,” he said, as he supported me with an arm around my waist. “And I’ll be real grateful when that happens.”

I slung my arm over his shoulder. “Good!” I said. “Because I think you’re going to owe me.”

We made our way, hip to hip, across the soft, hot sand. Colin helped me sit down close to the water, then made a point of stretching as he talked to me; rising up on his toes, stretching his arms over his head, bending from one side to another.

“You’re shameless,” I told him. “Your posing is certainly getting stares.”

“Really?” he asked, sneaking glances to either side.

Everyone passing by ogled him, including guys. A few girls walked past, looking our way, grinning, exchanging comments.

He stood, hands on his hips in front of me.

“Are you pretending to be talking to me?” I asked. “Because I know you’re just standing there so girls will stare.”

He laughed and tossed back his head. It’d be a wonder if girls didn’t stare.

Finally, he sat down beside me. “Well that was fun,” he said.

“For everybody,” I quipped. “I may never wear that suit again.”

“Sorry if I stretch the pouch too much,” he said, elbowing me.

“You wish,” I replied.

“We need to measure again,” he said. “I think I’ve grown some more.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I noticed that you grow several times a day.”

He elbowed my ribs again.

Two bikini-clad older girls walked slowly past, smiling in our direction. They looked older. College age, I decided. At least.

One girl was curvy and full breasted; she had the sexy kind of body that straight guys went crazy over. Her face was what I’d call cute; not beautiful, but attractive and impish. She had short, thick brown hair.

I found the other girl far more interesting. She wasn’t pretty; not in the normal sense. Her skin was pale, and she was thin, but with wide shoulders for a girl. She was flat breasted, and had only a mild curve to her hips. Her lips were thin, and her eyes plain. But her hair was a deep chestnut color, long and straight, tied back in a high ponytail. She had a nice butt, and her walk was distinctly feminine, even graceful.

They turned and came back our way.

“I think you’ve hooked something,” I said quietly. “With my magic swimsuit.”

“Cool,” Colin said. “They must be interested in you, though. They look at least as old as you are.”

They walked right up to us and the curvy girl spoke first. “Hi!”

“Hi!” Colin and I answered.

“You boys from around here,” she asked in a high Texas accent.

“Yeah,” I said. “We live about an hour from here.” For Colin’s sake, I thought I should be friendly. It’d make his day if he made friends with a college girl. “I’m Sean, and this is my brother, Colin.”

“Brothers?” she asked, skeptically. “You don’t look much alike.”

“Sure they do,” the other girl said. “I wondered if you were brothers. You guys are built the same and your faces look alike. But Janet only looks at one thing, and your swimsuit covers that,” she said with a grin in my direction.

Janet shoved her indignantly. “Fuck you, Linda. They do look different. Look,” she said, pointing at Colin. “He’s got red hair and really white skin, and his hair,” she said, pointing at me, “is brown or reddish or blond hair… whatever color you call that, and he’s really tan.” Then she smiled. “It’s real pretty hair.” She dropped to her knees in the sand in front of us. “You’re the first cute guys we’ve seen all day.”

That was funny, because I thought I’d seen a few, but she evidently was particular.

“We saw… Colin?” she nodded toward him and I nodded. “We saw Colin helping you out here. Something wrong with your leg?”

“Janet!” the other girl hissed and dropped to her knees beside her. “You have to excuse Janet,” she said. “No class.”

“That’s OK,” said. “I just had knee surgery.”

“You alright?” Linda asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “I’m already able to bend it pretty good. I just can’t put any weight on it.”

I glanced at Colin. His eyes were locked on Janet’s breasts, which did seem to be testing the tensile strength of her string top.

“Well you heard… I’m Linda,” the tall one said. “And Janet was right. You’re the first cute guys we’ve seen out here.” She slid sideways off her knees, sitting with her legs out to the side like girls do. It was hard not to notice that those legs were long and graceful. “You boys in college yet?”

“I start at Trinity in a couple of weeks,” I said. “Colin’s still in high school.”

“How old are you, Colin,” Janet asked, sliding off her knees as Linda had done, and in the process, scooting closer to Colin.

“Seventeen,” he lied.

I smiled to myself. She might believe seventeen, not that a one-year lie would make much difference.

“Well I think you’re the hottest little stud muffin I’ve seen in a long time,” she said. “That swimsuit is downright pornographic.”

I laughed and Colin blushed.

“Do you actually swim in it?” she asked.

Colin nodded, numbly.

“Well,” she held out her hand. “Let’s swim.”

She stood, and Colin stood with her, taking her hand. He was almost a head taller than her. She smiled up at him, pleased. Then the two of them ran into the surf.

Linda’s eyes stayed on me. “I hope your brother’s not too shy,” she said.

“Oh? Why?” I asked, watching them step over the waves, hand in hand.

“Because Janet can come on a little strong.”

She was right. They were about waist deep when I saw Janet turn, smiling up at Colin. It was subtle, but her hand disappeared in front of his body.

I glanced at Linda, frowning.

“Won’t he like it?” she asked with a slight smile.

I looked back at Colin. They had moved deeper and stood close. I wasn’t sure yet how he might handle Janet’s aggressiveness. After all, he was only sixteen. But then Janet pulled back laughing and I thought I saw Colin’s hand slip from inside her top as he followed her.

“He’ll be alright,” I said. But I kept an eye on him. After all, he was just a kid, and he was my little brother.

Linda’s eyes stayed on my face. “I thought she’d go for you,” she said, quietly. “I think it was seeing him in that swimsuit that did it.”

“Colin’s a hot kid,” I said. “On the other hand, I’m laid up… can’t even swim.”

“Do you want to swim?” she asked. “It’s hot. Do you want to go sit in the water where it’s shallow? To cool off?”

I looked at the distance to be covered, doubtfully.

“I’ll help you,” she said, standing up. “Come on.”

I stood and she pulled my arm over her shoulder. She surprised me because even though she looked thin and weak, she handled me firmly and supported me well as we moved down to the water. Then she sat beside me and we talked as we watched Colin and Janet play tag out in the breakers.

“So where are ya’ll from?” I asked.

“I’m from Houston,” she said, ladling water over her thighs. “Janet’s from Denton. We’re sorority sisters… at Texas State Teachers… you know, in San Marcos.” She smiled and leaned closer. “My daddy’s rich… oil business. So we’re letting him pay for a rest at the beach before we have to hit the books again.”

“What year?” I asked. “You know; what year are you at San Marcos.”

“We’ll be sophomores, both of us,” she said, ladling water over my thighs. “I like your legs,” she said. “They look strong.”

“I’m a runner,” I told her. “I run cross-country.”

She nodded, knowingly. “You look like an athlete.”

Out in the surf, Colin and Janet were playing some kind of tag. Janet gave Colin a shove and tried to wade away in the deep water, but he was on her in a flash, giving her a quick dunk. I wondered how my speedos were holding up.

“What’s your major going to be?” Linda asked.

I shrugged. “I like biology, but I like writing, too. I might major in English or Journalism.”

“No kidding?” she said. Shading her eyes with her hand, she smiled at me. “I’m an English major. You like literature? You like reading?”

Linda was easy to talk to. She asked questions and actually seemed interested in my answers. She seemed interested in me. And we had a lot in common, especially in our reading. We liked the same books. We both enjoyed science fiction. She was the first person who ever mentioned JRR Tolkien to me. “Colin’s an elf,” she said, watching him demonstrate riding a wave for Janet. Then she glanced at me. “You’re a young Dunedain.”

“Huh?” I asked. “What do you mean, Colin’s an elf?” I wondered if she meant a fairy, and I was ready to set her straight.

“You’ll find out when you read Tolkien.”

“Read Tolkien, huh? How big a book did you say it is?”

She grinned. “Nothing you can’t handle, I’m sure.”

Frowning skeptically, I shrugged. “I’ll check out Tolkien. But what are you calling Colin? And what did you call me?”

She smiled and patted my thigh. “I complimented you both,” she said, and then slid behind me to ladle water over my back. “In Tolkien’s stories,” she said, “elves are a tall race of woodland beings. They’re immortal, beautiful, and always youthful. Colin’s beautiful.”

I nodded. She was right about that. “And what did you call me?” I asked.

“A Dunedain,” she said. “A race of kings, long-lived, noble, wise, incredibly courageous. And they’re all handsome. You could be the son of a Dunedain.”

I smiled. Linda was even more of a romantic than I was. Elves and Dunedains sounded like something from children’s fairy stories, and I’d certainly outgrown those. But I understood the sentiment. “Do you ever write poetry,” I asked.

She leaned back in surprise. “Yeah. I do.”

“I write, too,” I said. “But not poetry, except for a couple of songs. I write stories.”

“Really?” she said, moving farther behind me to ladle water up onto the back of my neck. “I’d like to hear about your stories; and your songs. What songs have you written?”

Linda listened with interest as I described my bike tour story. And then she wanted to hear about my bicycling. And after that she wanted to hear about my running. She wanted to hear my songs, but I didn’t sing her Daniel’s song or the one I’d been working on for Ryan.

Colin and Janet had drifted on the current and came out onto the beach a good hundred yards from us. Both Linda and I watched the bouncing of Colin’s pouch as they approached. They walked past and Colin winked as they headed farther up the beach. And both Linda and I watched the flexing of his butt as they went another fifty yards before re-entering the water.

Then Linda knelt up behind me and ladled water over my back as she recited the first of her poems for me. It was about a lover and she was either very experienced or just plain good at writing. The poem was not only romantic, but also erotic. And she did a good job in very few words, of describing a beautiful male. I complimented her, sincerely. It was well done.

By the time she had finished reciting her second poem, she was rubbing my shoulders. I complimented her again. I liked the first poem better, but this was almost as good, though a little different, and yet, also about love.

The third poem was romantic as well. When she finished it, she kissed the back of my neck. “You’re cool, Sean,” she said. “You’re really cute and you’re smart, but you don’t act stuck up.” She wrapped her arms over my shoulders. “Cute guys only want to hang around cute girls unless they think they’ll get something, but you’re different.”

I believed her. I’d seen guys act just that way. And it always seemed callous and unfair. In Linda’s case, it would be incredibly unfair. She may not have been a knockout, but she was feminine, and slender, and she had a brain; she didn’t seem silly or frivolous like most girls. And I felt like shit for leading her on.

I didn’t want to blow Colin’s chance to score with Janet, but it was time to be honest. “Linda,” I said, patting the sand. “Come sit by me.”

She moved up beside me, eyeing me suspiciously. “What?”

Taking her hand, I tried to smile kindly, and looked her in the eye. “I like you a lot, Linda, And I don’t want to lie to you. You need to know… well, I’m gay.”

She rocked back, her mouth dropping. Then she frowned. “That is so lame! And I thought you were different!”

She started to get up, but I grabbed her arm. “No, really, please.”

She shook off my hand and stood up, and started to walk away.

“What?” I yelled. “You can’t be friends with a gay guy?”

Several heads jerked in my direction and Linda froze. Then she frowned at me over her shoulder, turned, and came back to sit beside me. She sat a moment, frowning out at the waves, then turned a hard eye on me. “Are you really gay?”

“I’m really gay,” I said. “And I really like you. That’s why I’m telling you.”

Still frowning, she looked out to where Colin and Janet floated in the water, facing each other, apparently talking. “Is your brother gay?”

“No,” I said, watching for her reactions. “I hope this doesn’t mess things up for him with Janet.”

Her head jerked around toward me. “Well what about me?” she asked angrily. “This leaves me up shit creek.”

“Don’t tell me,” I said, “that you’re only interested in a guy if you can get something.”

She fought it at first, but a smile slowly broke across her face. Then she wrapped her arms around one of mine and leaned against me. “Can I still cuddle with you?” She asked. “Even if we’re just friends, you can’t expect me to sit by a body like yours without touching.”

“Just don’t expect anything to happen,” I said.

Clutching my arm with long, elegant fingers, she leaned back. Tossing her long ponytail in the breeze, she smiled. “Let me pretend,” she said. “I’ve never even been on a date with a guy as cute as you.” She squeezed my arm and leaned her cheek against my shoulder. “You can just pretend you’re taking your sister on a date and give me a hug from time to time.”

Freeing my arm from hers, I put it over her shoulder and hugged her to me. “Cool. I like my little sister.”

Linda laid her head on my shoulder, and we sat quietly as several people walked past. She sighed, then touching her nose to my collarbone, she took a deep breath. “You’re strong,” she said. “And you smell like a guy.”

I shrugged. “You smell like a girl, but in a good way.”

She laughed and laid her hand on my thigh. “Sean?” she asked. “You never had a girlfriend?”

“I used to, but not for a couple of years.”

“Don’t you like girls,” she asked.

“Like I said, I like my little sister,” I said. “And I think I like you.”

“Hmmm,” she said, thoughtfully. “What about your mom?”

I thought about it. “I love my mom, because she’s my mom,” I said. “I’m not sure I like her.”

“Oh,” she said, rubbing my leg. “That’s sad. Is that why you don’t like girls?”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” I told her. “Things just don’t click for me with chicks.” Then I chuckled. “But my boyfriend complains that guys like me.”

“You have a boyfriend?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “His name’s Daniel.”

She brushed a wisp of loose hair back from her face and looked up at me. “Tell me about him.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised that she’d be interested.

“Yeah, really,” she said. Sitting up, she patted my leg. “I’m curious.”

“Well,” I answered slowly, “he’s from Houston, too. In fact, he just went back yesterday morning so he could get ready to leave for school.”

“What high school did he go to?” she asked.

“Bellaire,” I told her.

“Really?” she asked. “I would have gone there if I hadn’t gone to private school. What does he look like?”

“Ah,” I said smiling, “He’s beautiful, of course. He’s got blond hair, the kind that’s made up of lots of different colors that blend together… sorta wheat colored. He keeps it a little longer than mine. He’s fairly tall; only an inch or two shorter than me.”

Her head was down, but she was listening as she played with the sand between her legs.

“He’s got a terrific body,” I said. “He’s all tight… and he’s got smooth skin… and his hair is really soft and it always smells clean, but rich, you know. And he smells like a guy too,” I said with a smile. She smiled back.

I stared out over the water, remembering. “Daniel’s got his own smell. I can’t describe it, but when we’re together, and I take a deep breath of him… you know, of his scent… it always makes me excited, and yet… comfortable; very comfortable.”

I felt Linda’s eyes on me, studying me.

“He’s smart,” I said, glancing at her. “As smart as any guy I know, but he’s fun. We tease each other all the time.” I rested my chin on my good knee. “I love being with him,” I said softly, “more than anything in the world. He only left for Houston yesterday morning and I already miss him.”

Linda’s hand rested lightly on my shoulder and I turned to find her deep blue eyes looking at me with something like wonder. “You aren’t only gay,” she said, softly. “You’re in love… I never thought about gay guys actually falling in love.”

I shrugged. “We’ve been in love since we were sixteen. He’s the one I took the bike tour with.” A wave ran farther up the beach than previous ones and I let it wash out from under us before continuing. “When we became boyfriends, we started doing everything together. We were more than lovers,” I said. “We virtually lived together for almost a year. And I mean lived together. We spent at least a couple of nights a week together, sleeping, making love.”

“What about your parents?” Linda asked. “They let you do that?”

I shook my head. “They didn’t know we were gay back then. Daniel had like a whole side of his house to himself and his parents didn’t bother us once we went to bed. We told our parents we slept over to get early starts on rides, but they knew we were good friends and just liked being together.”

“What about your friends? Didn’t they suspect anything?”

“A couple of them knew and I guess some suspected. But we sorta left our friends behind. It wasn’t on purpose, but we were riding together and doing stuff together every day, and at night… well, we weren’t going to invite anyone else to sleep over.”

Linda nodded. “Sounds dreamy. You guys were like live-in lovers, or… a married couple.”

“It got even better,” I told her. “When he moved to Houston, I lived with him for several weeks; him and his parents. His parents are like my second parents, or at least they were back then.” I looked off over the water. “We’ve had a rough year.”

“What happened?” she asked.

And so, sitting side by side at the edge of the water, I told her about the first bike tour, and Daniel moving to Houston, about Jimmy, and our second tour, about the summer, and how Daniel came down to “fight” for me.

It grew late and my back felt like it might be sunburned. I looked around for Colin. He and Janet had drifted on the current again, and they were walking our way, his arm over her shoulder, hers behind his waist. He looked like a young god in that swimsuit and heads turned to follow him.

“Hey,” he called as they drew close. “Janet’s invited us over to their room for supper.”

I glanced at Linda.

She wrapped her arms around mine again. “You come, too,” she said. Then she whispered in my ear. “I don’t want to just sit around by myself and watch them.”

I smiled and whispered in her ear. “Colin would love being alone with two College girls.”

She looked at Colin thoughtfully and I thought for a second that Colin might hit the jackpot – two college girls. With her eyes on him, she leaned closer and whispered. “You can just close your eyes.”

I whispered back. “Close my eyes to that? Not a chance.”

“Well?” Colin asked, stopping in front of us with Janet on his arm, much like Linda was on mine.

It seemed to me that Colin might end up with a straight guy’s dream, two horny college girls, and though I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to be around to watch, I didn’t want to mess up his chances.

I glanced at Linda. I did like her. And I sure didn’t want to eat supper by myself. Hell, we didn’t even have anything in the room that could pass for a meal. “Sure,” I agreed.

Linda and Colin helped me to my feet, and the girls told us which room they were staying in. They had a two-bedroom unit in the condos next to our complex. Before we parted, Janet pressed her body to Colin’s in a long, hot kiss, ending with a pat to his butt. When she stepped back, his cock lay thick and obvious, out toward his hip.

Janet smirked and I saw Linda’s eyes widen in appreciation.

“Come on, Colin,” I said, moving between them and putting an arm over his shoulder. “Let’s get you changed.”

“Damn, Sean,” he said, as we hobbled away. “Damn!”

“Did you have fun?” I asked, grinning.

“She’s so hot. She had me hard the whole time. We’re going to fuck tonight. Oh, Yeah!” Then he leaned his head to mine. “Do you mind? She said she just can’t wait for tonight. Oh, damn, Sean. I’m gonna fuck a college girl!”

“Calm down,” I said. “You’re going to stretch my swimsuit.”

“Do you mind if I fuck her?”

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked. “Why would I mind?”

He shrugged under my arm. “Because it’s our beach trip; yours and mine, and well… what will you do with Linda?”

“Hey,” I said, “I like Linda. We’ll talk. Besides, we’re here because I wanted you to have a good time.”

“Well, hell!” he said. “I’m having a good time!” Then he was quiet a moment. “Sean,” he asked quietly. “Do you think Linda is going to want…”

“I told her that I’m gay,” I said. “In fact, you may have to take care of two college girls.”

“Oh damn,” he said. “I am stretching your swimsuit now.”

…

Linda smiled when she saw I’d brought a guitar, and she opened the door wide. Her hair was down to her shoulders. She had washed it, and it looked clean and rich. She wore a tight halter style top that showed off explicitly the small mounds of her breasts. She was also dressed in long flowing pants made of a see-through print, and under those, small black panties. Colin stared.

Janet wore short shorts, and a top that was little more than a scarf wrapped around her chest and tied between her breasts. She greeted Colin with a warm, welcoming kiss. And then she greeted me, just as warmly, pressing her hip between my legs. “Linda told me,” she whispered.

“Cool,” I whispered back, wondering if Linda had told her I was gay, or horny.

For our part, Colin and I wore shorts, tropical button-up shirts, and sandals.

The girls served us burgers and beer, but I made Colin drink slowly. “You want to be sober for tonight,” I whispered to him. “You don’t want anything hindering you… trust me.”

So Colin sipped, even when Janet sat in his lap and tried to get him to drink more.

After supper, I played the guitar while the girls cleared away dishes. Then Janet wanted to dance and turned on her boombox. Linda stood in front of me and held out her hand in invitation.

“I can’t dance,” I called out over the music. “The knee!”

She grabbed my hand in both of hers and tugged hard, pulling me up. So I tried, but couldn’t move much. Instead, I swayed, in time to the music. And Linda, smiling slyly, circled me, her hips rotating in a slow, hula style.

“You’re a good dancer,” I told her.

“I bet you are, too,” she said.

Close by, Janet danced, but far more provocatively than Linda. Shaking her butt, wagging her breasts. Colin was all smiles.

We danced through several songs. With each, my legs grew more tired, and with each, Janet heated up her dancing. She rubbed herself on Colin’s body like a cat in heat. Colin flushed, his nostrils flared, his eyes glued to her movements.

“You OK?” Linda asked me.

“Yeah, a little tired.” I glanced again at Janet and Colin. “Maybe I better go.”

Linda followed my gaze to Colin and Janet, and then leaned close. “Maybe I’ll come with you.” She rubbed my arm in a friendly way. “Can you manage a walk on the beach?” she asked. “If I help?”

“Maybe,” I told her. I grabbed up my guitar in one hand and threw my other arm over her shoulders. Colin and Janet didn’t even notice our leaving.

We paused when the door closed behind us. Or more exactly, I paused.

“Is something wrong?” Linda asked.

I looked up into the stars and shrugged. “He’s my little brother.”

“Are you worried about him?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “A little… oh, I know he’s going to like it and all… it’s just…” I glanced at her, wondering if she’d understand. “It’s just that when the door closed just now, I… well… he’s not going to be the same Colin in the morning.”

Linda nodded quietly, as if she understood, and waited until I was ready to move on.

Even though it was cool, the evening breeze felt thick with humidity. A half-moon was rising, reflected in the waves, and we paused for a moment. “Like something out of a story,” Linda said quietly.

I gave her a smile. “A nice story,” I said.

She smiled.

“I like how tall you are,” I said.

“Oh?” she asked as we moved toward the sea wall and steps down to the beach.

“Yeah,” I said, “the better to lean on, my dear.”

She laughed and patted the small of my back, and I decided she was almost pretty when she laughed. Her loose hair streamed behind her, looking longer on the wind.

“Let’s just sit here,” I said, when we got to the sea wall. “I’ll play my guitar, and you sing.”

She laughed again, a light laugh on the wind. “How do you know I can sing?” she asked.

“Everyone can sing,” I told her, backing onto the sea wall, letting my legs dangle over the side.

“No,” she said, laughing again. “Believe me, not everyone can.” She sat down beside me. “But I can.”

“You like the Bee Gees?” I asked.

“Sure,” she answered. “How Deep is Your Love? OK?”

I smiled, and picked out the first chords.

She started us and sang well. We moved on to Stayin’ Alive and then Night Fever. She had a good voice, a clear, strong soprano. She could harmonize well, and her voice danced around mine as I carried the melody.

When I led out with You Light Up My Life, her voice grew even stronger, and I quit singing, just to listen. She smiled and rubbed my back, singing to me and to the night. And when the song ended, and she let her voice trail away, all I could say was, “Wow!”

Linda smiled shyly, looking away.

“You’ve got a great voice!” I said. “Where’d you learn to sing like that?”

She laughed and rocked back and forward. “I’ve always loved to sing. My mom’s a musician; piano. And my parents have always been patrons of the Houston Symphony. So I grew up with music. Then I sang in high school choir, and my dad paid for voice lessons. Now I’m in one of the choirs at school.” She grinned. “You like my singing?”

“I love your singing! You’re incredible, Linda.”

She grinned and rubbed my back, low down on my spine. “You’ve got a nice voice, too. Pick something else. Pick something you can sing to me.”

“Hmmm,” I said thinking. “I’m not sure I want to follow your act, especially with something romantic. Maybe I’ll sing…” I smiled. “How about, Macho Man.”

She poked my side. “No. Pick something sweet. Something that’ll fit that masculine voice of yours.”

“Macho Man is masculine.”

She poked my side again.

“OK, OK,” I told her. I thought about it and decided on You Belong to Me, with some appropriate word changes.

Linda smiled and snuggled on to me, laying her head on my shoulder.

After that, we sang together, and alternately. We sang until we eventually ran out of songs, and I simply strummed and picked. Linda pulled her feet up and turned, leaning back against my side and shoulder. Out at the edge of the water a sandpiper swept low over the sand. Sand crabs darted.

The moon had climbed into clouds and turned them all silver against the black sky.

“Sean?” she said thoughtfully.

“Yeah?”

“You know how this afternoon, I said to just pretend I was your sister?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

She pulled up her knees and crossed her arms over them. “I never had a brother,” she said, thoughtfully. “When I was little, I had a friend with an older brother. And I wished I had one.”

“No brothers?” I asked. “Any sisters.”

“One sister,” she said. “Katie. She’s three years younger.”

Linda laid her head back on my shoulder and sighed. “I’m going to think of you as my brother. Of course, you’d be a younger brother, but I’d like that.”

“I’d like an older sister,” I said, setting the guitar down in my lap. And I meant it. It would be nice to pretend that with Linda for the evening.

Turning, she swung her legs back over the side, and took my arm in hers. “Let’s go to your room. I don’t want to go back alone to mine; not with them in the next bedroom, not if I’m going to be alone.” She squeezed my arm. “We can have a slumber party. Watch late movies and talk.”

“I don’t think brothers and sisters have slumber parties,” I teased. “But yeah, that’d be nice.”

She stood up from the wall and held my guitar while I got up. “Do you have popcorn?” she asked.

“As a matter of fact, there was a free bag in the microwave.”

…

Her fingers felt good on my scalp as she massaged in the shampoo. She pushed on my head and I bent farther over the kitchen sink and held my eyes tightly closed to keep soap out. “I don’t know why you wanted to wash my hair,” I told her. “But it sure feels good.”

“We always washed hair at slumber parties. Besides, I just wanted to get your shirt off,” she said. “You’re gorgeous.”

“I don’t think a sister is supposed to say that,” I teased.

“Well yours just did,” she answered and poked me in the ribs.

I jumped. “You gotta quit doing that,” I said. “I’m ticklish.”

“You are?”

“Linda!” I warned too late.

Her long, thin fingers closed on my ribs. I howled, blinded by shampoo, and grabbing the sink to keep my bearings, I tried to wiggle out of her grip.

Linda had changed into one of my T-shirts over her blank panties. “For the slumber party,” she had insisted, saying that’s what they always wore. And now I felt her bare legs against mine as I tried to get away.

Laughing, she finally stopped and slapped my butt. “You’ve got a nice body, little brother. I may have to tickle you again.”

“If you have even one ticklish spot,” I warned as I leaned back over the sink, “you’ll be forever sorry.”

She pulled out the hand sprayer and rinsed my hair. “No ticklish spots,” she said.

“We’ll see,” I promised.

After she buffed my head dry, I sat on the floor between her legs watching TV while she sat behind me, brushing out my hair.

I asked if she had gone to the symphony much growing up, and when she said she had, we compared favorite composers. I tried to turn her on to a Vaughan Williams and Hovhaness and she tried to turn me on to Faure and Saint Saines.

I put my arms over her legs and leaned back between them as she brushed. In my right hand, I held the TV remote control and dialed through channels, stopping on a movie I recognized. “Have you seen this one?” I asked.

She paused for a moment, trying to decide. “Don’t think so. What’s it about?”

“It’s about a haunted house. This team of psychic investigators stays at a famous haunted house to check it out; it’s pretty scary.”

“Is it good?”

“Yeah,” I said, “it’s good. I think I remember watching it with Colin.” Then I chuckled. “When we were little kids,” I told her. “I used to make Colin watch Friday night horror movies with me because I was too afraid to watch them by myself.”

“That was mean,” Linda said as she brushed my hair back from over my ears. “How old were you?”

“Oh, that was when I was like… seven to nine years old and Colin was like five to seven.”

“So how old is Colin now, really?”

I twisted around to look back at her. “Only sixteen, but don’t tell Janet.”

Linda nodded. “I told Janet I thought he was younger than seventeen, but I thought he might be more like fifteen.”

“Nah, he’s sixteen. Anyway, let me finish telling you about watching horror movies.”

“You mean when you tortured your little brother by making him watch them with you?”

“It was pure, exquisite torture, for both of us,” I told her. “We’d lie together on the floor in the living room, and when Colin got really scared, he’d scoot up beside me and I’d hold him real tight in my arms, and I’d be less scared, too.”

“That sounds sweet,” Linda said, and then kissed the top of my head. “Why don’t we watch this movie, and you can hold your big sister like you used to hold Colin.”

I switched the channel.

Linda biffed my head. “You are like a brother!”

I rubbed the top of my head. “You are like a sister.”

…
We set the bowl of popcorn between us and sat with our backs to the couch as I tried to find something better to watch than the horror movie.

Linda held out her hand, palm up. “Just let me have the control,” she demanded. “You don’t stay on one channel long enough to hear a complete sentence.”

“It only takes a second to find out if something’s good or not,” I said, then handed her the control. “There’s nothing on.”

She took the control and in two clicks, stopped on an opera on PBS. “You like opera?” she asked.

I shook my head. “All those fat people bellowing? Nah. Now ballet, with those stuffed tights…” I wriggled my eyebrows.

She ignored my wriggle. “You’d like opera,” she said, “if you heard the right one. Sometime, you’ll have to come to Houston for an opera.”

“Yeah, right. I’ll bring Daniel and we can make out in the balcony if it gets boring.”

She poked at my ribs, and then looked thoughtful. “I’d like to meet him sometime,” she said. “He sounds interesting.”

“He is interesting. He’s the most interesting guy I know. Hey, you want to see his picture?”

“You have one?” she asked.

“In my wallet. I have a couple.” I retrieved my wallet from my bag and extracted the two school photos of Daniel. Then, sitting back down beside her, I showed her both. “This is his senior photo, and this one is from last year when we were almost living together.”

Linda looked them over, nodding approval. “He’s really cute, but I expected that… since you are. I really would like to meet him, sometime,” she said, handing back the photos.

“And I want him to meet my new big sister, too.”

She sat up. “Let’s call him.”

“Now?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah, why not. It’s Monday night. He’s going to be home, right?”

I wondered. After what he said the night before, he could be over at Robert’s or Scott’s. Or worse, he could have one of them with him. It’d be a major bummer to call and find that out. “He’s probably asleep,” I said.

Linda looked at her watch. “It’s not that late. Give him a call. I want to meet him.” Then she bit her lip. “Of course, I wouldn’t want to wake his parents.”

“No,” I told her. “It wouldn’t wake them. He’s got his own phone is his room.” I had to be honest.

Linda pulled the phone from a table at the end of the couch and set it beside me. “Unless you’re embarrassed to have him meet your big sister…” she said, raising an eyebrow.

Reluctantly, I picked up the phone. I was going to be really bummed if he had someone with him.

The phone rang several times and I was about to hang up when he answered. “Sorry,” Daniel said, breathlessly. “I was watching TV - the late, late movie with Mom.”

Linda didn’t see it, but I breathed out a sigh of relief.

…

“So you guys are eating popcorn and watching TV while Colin screws her roommate?” Daniel asked after I explained the situation.

“Well, to put it crudely, yeah. Anyway, there’s nothing on TV and we were getting bored, and I’ve talked so much about you, Linda wanted me to call you so she could meet you. Oh, and she’s from Houston, too.”

“Cool. I’ll say, hi. Put her on.”

I started to hand the phone to Linda, but took it back. “By the way,” I said to Daniel, “she’s adopted me. She’s my new big sister.”

“New sister, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Well just don’t play in the bathtub together,” Daniel said, sarcastically.

I held the phone out to Linda. “He says ‘cool’ about you being my big sister, but we can’t play in the bathtub together.”

She held the phone up to her ear and the twinkle in her eye made me slightly worried about what she might say to Daniel.

I didn’t need to worry, at least at first as they related to each other where they lived in Houston, and tried to see if they had any common friends. But then she winked at me. “Sean didn’t tell you; we’re having a slumber party.”

I couldn’t hear what Daniel said, but she nodded her head. “Yeah, well,” she answered, “Janet likes Colin a lot. She may keep him all night. So we’ve sung songs and watched TV. I washed Sean’s hair, like we do at slumber parties, and brushed it. But now I’m thinking about putting it in rollers and doing his nails.”

Her smile widened, especially when I frowned and made my hands into claws as though I was going to tickle her.

“Yeah, it would,” she said. “It already has a nice wave to it. What color do you want his nails?”

“Screw you!” I said loudly enough for Daniel to hear over the phone.

Linda laughed and nodded. “Yeah, sometime we’ll have to.” Then she handed me the phone. “He says we have to all have a slumber party together.”

I took the phone. “Well,” I said into it, “I know what I’m going to paint of yours and it isn’t your nails.”

Daniel laughed. “She sounds like fun, Sean. I like her. I’ll let you guys get back to your TV, but I’ve got something to tell you.”

“What?” I asked.

“We’ve talked it over, and Roger, Mary, and I are all coming to San Antonio on Sunday night. They want to see you and I want to do something else with you.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Then we’ll go up to UT the next day.”

“I didn’t think you had to be at UT till like Wednesday,” I said.

“I don’t. But once we get me settled into my room, I can drop back to San Antonio and hang out with you between classes… and over night.”

I cradled the phone closer. “That’d be great,” I said softly. I was tempted to tell him my cock was already twitching, but decided not to gross Linda out. “I’m excited,” I told him. “In lots of ways.”

…

We stood between the two beds, looking from one to the other. Somehow, it didn’t seem right to make her sleep in a separate bed.

“It’s a slumber party,” Linda said, pulling back the covers on the bed closest to her. “We can snuggle under the covers and tell each other secrets all night,” Then she smiled. “I won’t attack.” She hopped into the bed, my t-shirt riding up over her black panties. Holding back the covers, she looked me up and down. “You aren’t going to sleep in those shorts are you? How do you normally sleep?”

“Naked,” I told her. “But I’ll keep my skivvies on.”

Linda smiled, coquettishly. “You don’t need to on my account.”

I dropped the shorts, but kept my briefs. She held up the bedcovers as I crawled in beside her. “Did I say I wouldn’t attack you?” she asked. “Damn, you have a hot body.”

“I don’t think a sister is supposed to say anything like that,” I said, tucking the sheet high up under my arms.

“Sisters don’t normally have brothers that look like you,” she said with a sigh, and lay back on her pillow, next to me.

“Ready to sleep?” I asked. “Shall I turn out the light?”

“You can turn out the light,” she said. “But we still have to share secrets. It’s not a slumber party if you don’t share secrets.”

I reached over to the lamp, and turned it out. “What secrets?” I asked. “You’d be bored by any I have.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” she said and rolled up on her side toward me, laying her hand on my chest. “I bet you’re just all full of interesting little secrets.”

“Nah, you’ll be bored.”

She propped her head on her elbow and rubbed my chest gently through the sheet. “Tell me,” she said. “When did you first know you were gay?”

I sighed. It’s a question I had wondered about. I remembered how good it felt to hold Colin when we were kids. Was I gay even then? I got hard once holding him and though I didn’t understand why at the time, I knew it felt good.

“I’m not sure,” I said.

She drew her fingers across the front of my bare shoulders. “When was the first time you remember thinking about a guy that way?”

“Well I remember that. It was after my friend Stef and I taught each other how to masturbate.”

“Tell me about that,” Linda said softly.

I looked up at the ceiling, remembering. “We were like twelve and we had heard about jacking off. It was a Friday night and I was sleeping over at Stef’s. We had turned out the lights and were just talking.” I glanced at her.

Linda smiled. “Like this?”

“Not exactly,” I said, clearing my throat. “Anyway, Stef asked if I had measured my…” I glanced at her, “umm, my cock yet and we compared measurements; you know, guys that age start to get proud of how big they’re getting. Then I asked Stef if he’d jacked off yet. He said he had a few times. I told him I’d only played with mine a little but I had only come four times. And talking about it, we both sprouted wood… um, got erections. Stef asked if I wanted to try jacking off together and I said sure. So we lay on our backs and pushed our underwear down and watched each other. It was a little funny,” I said, chuckling. “We sorta coached each other, you know, making suggestions and trying different things. We agreed to keep going till we came.”

“Stef came first and I thought it was really cool, watching Stef cum. Then I came… Is this too gross for you?”

Linda laughed. “No. Keep going. Is that when you decided you were gay?”

I shrugged. “I liked how Stef looked, you know, his erection and watching him come and all. I started thinking about touching his hard-on and wondered what it’d be like for him to touch me. We spent the next three Friday nights sleeping over and jacked off together every time. Finally, I built up the guts to ask if he wanted to try jacking each other off.”

“What’d he say,” she asked quietly.

“Yeah!” I told her with a grin. “Like right away. He’d been thinking about it too. And so we lay on our backs and pushed down our underwear like we’d been doing, but then we scooted up till our hips and legs were touching. Stef was on my left and he reached over first. When his hand closed over me, I just froze. No one had ever touched me there. He slid his hand up and down my cock and it was the most incredible thing I’d ever felt. He stroked me and asked how it felt. I told him that it felt great and reached over for his. And he felt neat… you know, really soft skin, but really hard and warm. “

“Anyway,” I told her, “that position didn’t work real well because we’re both right handed. So we tried face to face, lying on our sides, and that worked pretty good. It took a while, but felt great. We came all over each other and that was weird, but cool.”

“Did you do it again?” Linda asked.

“Ha! The next two Friday nights,” I told her. “And there was a bathroom by the auditorium at school that hardly anyone used. So we snuck off there a few times between classes and jacked each other off in the back stall. Then I started thinking about other things we could do together. Stef did too. So one night I asked what he thought about ‘rubbing them together,’ and Stef said he had wondered what that would feel like. And so he lay on his back and I laid down on him. I remember how really cool it felt to put our cocks together, especially when Stef opened his legs and I sorta settled between them… this isn’t weirding you out?” I asked.

Linda shifted her position, resting her chin on my chest, wrapping an arm over my side. “It’s hot in a way, you know? Keep going.”

“Well,” I said, laying my hand on her back. “We humped on each other and I liked it a lot more than Stef. So we rolled over so that I was on the bottom and he was on top. And we both liked that. I liked it because Stef’s weight felt really good on me. I liked the feel of his body; even back then he had a pretty tight body. And his skin was real smooth. And he felt good between my legs, the way his balls pushed mine down on me. We both came pretty fast after that.”

“So did you start doing that all the time? “ Linda asked.

I rubbed her back. “Yeah. We rubbed front-to-front. And we tried rubbing on each other’s butts. And then we decided to try oral. We’d heard about blowjobs and cock sucking, so one Friday night, we decided to try that. That was really funny,” I said. “Trying to figure it all out. We blew, we sucked, we accidentally scratched each other with our teeth. It didn’t work very well, so that next week, we tried to be real casual asking older guys around school how blowjobs worked. Anyway, the next Friday, we tried again and did a lot better.”

I stole a glance at her, trying to gauge whether she really was interested, especially before going on. She looked intent, so I continued. “We had heard about cornholing too… you know, anal… Is this going to gross you out?”

“No.” She shook her head on my chest. “Keep going.”

“Well, I’d been noticing Stef’s butt a lot…”

“What did Stef look like?” she asked.

So I told her about Stef and how his tight little butt had been looking awfully damned good. “Stef and I had gotten real comfortable talking to each other about everything,” I told her. “Even talking about trying things. So I asked if he wanted to try cornholing and he said ‘Sure!’ like that.” I snapped my fingers behind her back and she jumped. “Sorry,” I said.

“So anyway,” I continued. “Stef got down on all fours on the bed and I moved in behind him, and tried to push in, but there was no way it was going to go in. So Stef says, ‘Maybe it’s like an enema.’ His little brother had just had one a month or so before, and Stef knew about Vaseline. Anyway, he got some from the bathroom and got back on all fours. I knelt behind him, rubbing Vaseline all over my cock, and I thought his butt was about the hottest thing I’d ever seen. So I grabbed his hips and this time when I pushed in, it went in pretty easy.”

I glanced once more at Linda in the dim light. Her eyes were still fixed on me. But I wasn’t quite sure how to tell a girl what it felt like to fuck a guy; what it felt like on your cock. “I’m not sure what to compare it to,” I said. “I mean, the feeling as I pushed in. He was tight and warm, and it was like all my feeling went to my cock. And then when I was in all the way, and Stef’s butt filled my lap, I just pressed in a moment, concentrating on feeling everything… You know, I can’t believe I’m telling a girl all this.”

“It’s hot,” she said. “I wondered what gay guys do together.”

“Well it wasn’t just the physical feelings, you know. I felt intimate with him, like we were doing something real private, just between us. Stef was my best bud, and it was like I was joining myself to him.”

“And that felt good?”

“Oh yeah,” I said. “And then when I started to move, I couldn’t believe how that felt, actually being in him, feeling my cock move in and out of him. I bent over him and wrapped my arms under him and he felt really good; his hard back under my belly and chest felt good, his butt felt good and firm each time I pushed in, and just holding Stef felt good; it felt good to hold him like that.”

I thought I felt her breathing harder, and her breath rushed warm, over my chest.

“Does this turn you on?” I asked quietly.

She nodded. “Are you hard?” Linda asked softly.

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“Can I feel it?”

I bit my lip. “Maybe I better quit talking,” I said.

“No,” she said, slipping a hand down over my underwear. “Keep going. Did Stef get a turn?”

I felt her hand close over the cloth of my underwear and she felt the outline of my shaft. “Damn you’re long,” she said.

I rubbed her back. “Be careful,” I said. “All this remembering has me a little … excited.”

Linda chuckled and kissed my chest. She took her hand off my cock, sliding it up my side. “So you knew you were gay, right?”

“No, not at all. I mean, guys that age mess around some anyway. So I kept telling myself we were just messing around until I got a girl.”

“Did Stef get a turn?” she asked again.

“Yeah, he did. And it didn’t feel bad at all. I almost liked it. So we started doing that a lot.”

“So you still didn’t know you were gay? What happened next?”

“Well,” I said, rubbing her back briskly as I thought about it. “I guess the next thing that happened was when Aaron invited me for a sleepover. It was the holiday season and Stef and I had stuff going on and so we hadn’t been sleeping over as often. Aaron lived close by and we’d been friends a long time. So anyway, Aaron’s always been a bit of a horndog and he’d found some of his dad’s playboys. So that night, when we were sitting side by side, looking at the magazines, we both got obvious hard-ons. Aaron asked if I wanted to jack off, and I told him, ‘sure.’ I mean, Stef had a nice cock, but Aaron had a big one.”

“So,” I continued, “we stripped and sat back down beside each other. Well Aaron’s left-handed and I’m right-handed, and we were sitting the right way. So I asked if he wanted me to jack him while he jacked me. Aaron went for it in a flash. And he liked it. So he started getting me to come over on Saturdays, or after school; any time he could. One day, I asked if he’d like to try anything else. He wasn’t sure until I mentioned cornholing. He asked me if I’d tried it and I figured after him and I jacking each other off, I could tell him, so I told him I had.”

“And did he want to try?” Linda asked.

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “And he got hooked right away. Aaron always wanted to do all the cornholing, and I didn’t mind letting him most of the time. We fit together well. He was big and hit good spots inside.”

“Good spots?” Linda asked.

“Yeah, you know about the prostate gland?”

“I’ve heard the name, but what about it?”

So I told her.

She nodded wisely. “So it feels good for a guy to get… cornholed?”

I thought of Aaron, earlier that summer, of lifting and opening my legs to him as he moved over me, of him taking me in his strong arms, filling me, laying his body down onto me. “Yeah,” I said. “It can feel really good.”

“Better than being the guy doing it?”

I thought of Ryan, how his small body felt under me, how it felt to press myself all the way in, to wrap his body in mine. “No, that can feel pretty good, too.”

“But have you ever been with a girl? Do you know how that… feels?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve been with a girl.”

“Tell me about that,” she said, shifting positions again, laying her head down on my chest, and looking down my body. “Tell me about your first time with a girl.” She pushed the sheets down to my waist and ran her fingertips lightly up and down my stomach.

“The first time wasn’t with a girl; it was with a woman,” I said. “I was fourteen and had only messed around with Stef and Aaron. Anyway, I had another friend, Eddie Kirkland. His parents were divorced and his mom said she needed a break, so she sent him and his little sister off for a whole month to some special summer camp in Colorado. His mom called after he’d been gone a week and asked if I mowed lawns for money. I always needed money, so I told her, ‘Sure!’”

“Are you going to tell me that you did it with a friend’s mom?”

“I don’t have to tell you about it.”

“Yes you do! I want to hear every juicy detail!”

I glanced down to the back of her head on my chest and ran my fingers into her thick hair, stroking it as I continued.

“OK,” I said. “It was summer, and I went over on a Tuesday morning. I only had on cutoffs and shoes, and the way she looked me up and down sort of embarrassed me. Then she said she was going to work in the yard too, and came out a few minutes later in cutoffs that were so short, I could see her panties at the leg holes and the middle seam rode up her, umm…”

“Got it,” Linda said.

“Yeah, well. She was a really foxy lady. She had a bikini top on and filled it pretty good. I was so dense, I didn’t realize she was coming on to me, even when she kept wiggling her butt as she worked, and bending over to show cleavage.”

“Did that get you excited?”

“Yeah. After all, I was a horny fourteen-year-old with a good imagination. After I finished mowing, she wanted me to help her trim a hedge in the back yard. So I followed her to the hedge and we started working together, but she kept brushing me and wiggling and even backing in to me. I got a roaring hard on. When it became real obvious, she simply undid my pants and dropped them, and my underwear. And then she stood a little behind me and jacked me off.”

“Is that what she wanted to do? She jacked you off?”

“To start with,” I said. “After I came, she kept playing with me, keeping me hard. Then she knelt down and sucked on me till I was good and hard. Once I was, she stripped and pulled me down onto her right there beside the hedge. She guided me in, and then I was off and running. It got pretty intense when she orgasmed; she was pretty… enthusiastic.”

“Did you like it?” Linda asked, and I felt her hand slide under the waistband of my underwear, rubbing under the band.

I shrugged. “It was almost too much. I mean, I felt funny. She was a mom and I almost felt… “

“Assaulted?” Linda asked, almost in a whisper.

“Yeah,” I said. “Sorta. In fact,” I lightly scratched her back. “You know what I did that night?”

“What?”

“Remember how I said I used to hold Colin when we watched horror movies and how I would feel better too?”

“Yeah,” she said, lifting her head to look at me.

I smiled. “Well that night, I waited until Colin was asleep and then crawled into bed with him. I just held him for a while.”

“Did you feel better?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I did.”

“Was that the only time you’ve been with a woman?”

I shook my head. “I went back one more time… to mow. I didn’t think we’d do anything. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to look her in the eye. But she answered the door in a loose bathrobe and invited me in, and led me right to the bedroom.”

“Did you ever go back?”

“No. But after I told Stef about it, he went over several times, hoping she’d screw with him. Funny thing was, he wound up screwing Eddie’s little sister.”

“Did Stef like it?” Linda asked.

“Yeah, I think so. Stef still likes girls, I think.”

“Were you ever with a girl your age?”

“Yeah. I used to have girl friends and got it on with a couple of them.”

“What happened?” she asked. “Didn’t you like it?”

“Daniel happened,” I said. “My girlfriend wanted me to be with her all the time, and I wanted to be with Daniel.

“So after you met Daniel, you decided you were gay?”

I nodded. “I’ve thought about that a lot; you know… trying to decide when I first realized. And I keep thinking of when we were down here at the beach, camping out — Stef, Aaron, Daniel and me. One night, Daniel and I were standing alone in the water and he kissed me. It was the first time I’d ever kissed a guy. Maybe that was the moment I first started to believe I was gay. I didn’t want to admit it for a long time. But I never felt the same after that night. I fell in love with him, Linda. Suddenly, all I could think of was Daniel.”

She lay back on her pillow. “I forgot,” she said quietly, “that you’re in love.”

I rolled up onto my side and laid my hand on her belly, propping my head on an elbow. “So tell me your secrets,” I said. “Tell me about your first time.”

She smiled, sadly. “It was a boy named Mark. We were both twelve…”

“Twelve? That’s pretty young,” I said.

She nodded. “Yeah. It was. My parents have a cabin on Lake Conroe and my mom used to take my sister and me there for a few weeks every summer. Mark’s family lived on the lake, just a few houses down and we sorta became friends the year before.” She placed both hands over mine on her stomach and looked up at the ceiling. “Behind our cabin, down on the water was an old boathouse that my parents used for storage. It had lots of old furniture, and Mark and I used it like a playhouse. We’d sneak out there to get away from my little sister.”

“We spent the first two weeks just getting to know each other after being away for a whole year. We canoed on the lake and explored the woods and set up the boathouse to hang out in. There was an old couch there and one day we were sitting on it, trying to decide what to do when he asked, out of the blue, if I’d ever kissed a boy.”

“I told him I hadn’t and asked if he’d ever kissed a girl. He said that he kissed a girl at school once, just a peck. He asked if I wanted to try kissing.” She glanced at me. “You know how some moments just stick in your memory?”

I nodded.

“Mark was a skinny kid, like me. But he had short blond hair and light blue eyes and I thought he was cute, even if he was a friend. I remember him sitting there, wearing only shorts, and looking hopeful. And my pulse immediately doubled. I nodded and he moved beside me, and put a hand on my shoulder. I was in just a T-shirt and sear-sucker shorts. I didn’t even have a training bra on, and I remember feeling my nipples harden almost instantly.”

“He leaned forward real slowly and put his lips on mine and we sat there for a minute, wondering what to do. Finally he wrapped his arms around me and we pressed our lips together. I liked it, and we started to loosen up. He asked if we could try French kissing, and so we tried that and I liked that a lot.”

“But then I heard my mom calling and had to go inside. After I calmed down, I felt funny about it, you know, like I’d done something wrong, but wanted to do it again. The next morning, Mark came over earlier than normal and we didn’t even talk about doing anything else. We snuck out to the boathouse and picked up where we left off.”

Linda rubbed my hand under hers and smiled. “Mark got excited pretty quickly and almost before I knew what was happening, he had me on my back on the couch and we were in each other’s arms, sucking each other’s tongues out. He always wore only shorts and that’s all he had on that morning. I remember because his body felt good. You know how you said you liked the weight of Stef’s body on yours. I guess it was like that. And even though he was a skinny kid, he still felt solid, like boys do. And I liked the feel of his skin all warm and soft. And then I realized that the hardness I felt pressing on my… on me had to be his erection. I was curious and really turned on, so I tried spreading my legs to feel it better and when I did, he rubbed it on me.”

“I don’t know what it’s like for other girls. I’ve talked about it with Janet and one other friend and it seems to be the same for them. But when a guy presses himself… you know, there… and he’s erect and you can feel it… well, it almost paralyzes a girl, and lights all sorts of fires in her. I might have been only twelve, but when Mark rubbed himself on me there, it was like a hot sexual fire spread right up through my body.

“And then suddenly, he got all tense, and stopped. I wondered if he sensed what he’d done to me; if I had responded too much. I wondered if I had done something wrong. Especially when he sat up and said he had to go and left, just like that.”

“He came in his pants?” I guessed with a chuckle.

She nodded. “But I didn’t know it. I thought I’d done something really wrong. And he didn’t come back for the rest of the day. But the next morning, he was back. I hoped he would want to kiss again, but he acted like nothing happened. We canoed that morning, ate lunch, and then finally, I asked if he wanted to sneak out to the boathouse.”

“When we got out there, he was real quiet,” she said. “And I asked if something was wrong. He just shook his head. So I asked if I’d done something wrong. ‘Gosh no!’ he told me. He said he was the one who’d done something wrong. And I asked what.”

“Mark hung his head and looked like he was searching for words. Then he asked if I liked kissing. I told him I really liked it. He said that was part of it; that he’d gotten too excited the day before. He tried to explain what happened and finally asked if I’d ever seen a boy naked before. Well the only boys I’d ever seen naked were a couple of cousins when they were babies and I had to change them. He said he’d never seen a girl, except his baby sister, and wanted to know if I wanted to get naked together so we could see what each other looked like.”

Linda shifted and when she did, her hip brushed my erection. She smiled.

“Well it’s hot,” I protested. “So did you guys get naked?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “He took off his shorts first and his underwear was all tented out in front. I took off my shorts and tugged down on my shirt. But he made me take the shirt off so that we were both just in underwear. My nipples were hard again and Mark put his fingertip on my right one and pushed, lightly. Then he pushed the left one. I didn’t have much in the way of breasts, but when he touched me, shocks went through my body.”

“Then he took off his underwear and I saw my first hard, naked boy,” she said. “He was probably about average for that age, but it looked huge to me. Mark wanted me to touch it, so I did, with my finger. Then he took my hand and wrapped it around it. It was like the first time you said you held Stefan’s. I couldn’t believe how it felt and I just held it, and Mark pushed down my panties.”

She took a deep breath. “He knelt in front of me, gently touching and poking. I liked the feel of his fingers and I wanted to make it easier for him. So I sat down sideways on the couch and scooted back against one arm, sorta bringing up my knees and spreading them. Mark sat down, almost on my feet, and stroked himself as he kept probing me with his fingers.”

She pressed my hand flat on her belly. “But he didn’t just poke; he was gentle. And he stroked the inside of my thighs. He said my skin was soft. And then he scooted closer, pushing my feet back, and started feeling around my vagina with his finger. ‘Where’s the hole?’ he asked, and he was right there, all I had to do was move his hand just a little and his finger went in.”

“I held my breath, just feeling him feeling me, as he stroked himself with his other hand. We both looked at his cock. ‘This goes in there?’ he asked, sounding like he couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t sure I believed it either. But by then, I was getting all damp and hot. So when he whispered, ‘you wanna try it?’ I nodded.”

Linda glanced at me and smiled, reaching down to feel my underwear. “Still interested?” she asked. “Oh, yeah. You’re still interested.”

“Yeah,” I said, hoarsely. “So what happened?”

She snuggled into me, pressing my erection with her hip, but I didn’t back away. I wanted to hear the rest of the story.

“Well Mark knelt up on the couch, kneeling between my feet, and tried to figure out how to make it work. Finally, he grabbed my hips and pulled me out flatter on the couch. I spread my legs apart and he lay down on me. He kept trying to put it in, but he kept missing the hole. Finally, I reached down and guided him in, but just as he pushed in, he hit my hymen.”

“We were stuck there for a moment, not sure what to do. Then he pressed forward and it hurt. So I grabbed his arms and said, ‘Wait! Wait!” But he didn’t back up and after a second, pressed harder. I gritted my teeth until he pulled back and I was just about to relax when he pushed in again, all the way, right through my hymen. That’s when I really cried, ‘Wait!’ And he did until I could get used to it.”

“When he started moving after that, it began to feel really good. But when I started to move with him, he tensed up and came. And he pulled out, right when I was beginning to enjoy it.”

“The turd,” I said.

“He was only twelve, Sean. Like you were a pro at that age.”

“So did you go again?”

She shook her head. “No, not that day. But then the next day, Mark showed up with his fourteen-year-old brother, Tim. I had a crush on Tim, but I didn’t like him showing up like that, and I was still a little sore, so I refused to go out to the boathouse with them.”

“But they came back the next day and while we were alone on the back porch, they started feeling me up. Tim was really cute, and he kissed me and rubbed the inside of my legs. So when they wanted to go out to the boathouse, I said, OK.”

“Almost as soon as they closed the door, both of them were all over me, kissing and feeling me up. I didn’t like being mauled. But I did like the kissing. I tried to push their hands away from between my legs, and I slowed them down a little, but before long, they had me undressed and themselves undressed and they had backed me onto the couch.”

“Tim was beautiful. He was slim, but not skinny like Mark, and he had a bigger penis… umm, erection. But he’d never done a girl and had no idea what to do. He laid down on me and tried poking around. I wanted to help, but he had me crushed. He finally gave up in frustration and let Mark in. Mark knelt between my legs and leaned over me so I could guide him in.”

“It felt lots better this time; I was barely sore at all and by that time, I wanted it. The pain went away quickly.” She bit her lip. “I’m not sure how to explain to a guy how it feels. But when a boy’s inside you like that, moving, it’s like a warm, liquid, fire spreads up from there and every new cell it touches fires off its own little orgasm.”

“Mark started slowly but then lay down on me and moved faster, making the couch bounce. He had his head down, pressed beside mine and I kept my eyes on Tim. He looked so damned beautiful. Tim watched us and masturbated himself and I watched Tim and got even hotter. By the time Mark came, I was pretty worked up.”

“So when Mark pulled out, and Tim knelt between my legs, I almost pulled his dick off, guiding him in. And this time, he got it in. And he felt wonderful. He had a nice one. I wrapped my arms and legs over him and moved with him, right from the beginning.”

“He watched my face and I watched his — he frowned, concentrating. Then I had my first orgasm ever.” She smiled. “I know I made a lot of noise because Mark thought Tim was hurting me and wanted him to stop. And I just kept gasping, ‘Don’t stop! Don’t stop!’”

“Tim lasted a long time and by the time he came, I was one exhausted twelve-year-old. But I was also hooked.”

“You liked it, huh?”

She nodded. “Yeah. They came over almost every day for about a month before we went back to Houston. It’s a wonder I didn’t get pregnant.”

Linda rubbed her hip against me. “Still interested?”

“Yeah,” I said, laying my head down on the pillow beside her. “What happened when you got back to Houston?”

“Nothing for a while,” she said. “But I wanted to do it again. So after school started, I chased boys. I was really stupid and had no idea what I was doing. For one thing, I chased cool guys; guys who were way too good looking for me. And they dodged me like mad. But one of them, Eric, who was a year older than me, was sorta friendly. And I’d gotten desperate. I don’t know whether he sensed it or not, but he came by my house one day after school to see if I wanted to go for a walk.”

“Damn, this part’s embarrassing,” she said. “I’ve never really talked much about this. Anyway, there was a wooded park close to our house and we went walking back into it. I tried giving him every signal I could and when he finally kissed me, I almost assaulted him. I actually pulled off his shirt almost right away. He got into it quick enough, and Eric had experience. I didn’t even need to help him find the hole.”

“But the next day, I learned about boys. Suddenly, all of them wanted to take me on walks or out for dates, while Eric turned into a little prick. He wouldn’t have anything to do with me. At first, it didn’t matter; I was flattered by all the attention from the other boys. I was stupid, and horny, and let a couple of guys do me. And almost immediately, I had a reputation for being easy.”

In the dim light, I could see she had lost her smile. I smoothed back her hair and slid an arm under the back of her head. The smile returned; a sweet one.

“I like guys, but they can sure be assholes,” she said. She took a deep breath and looked up toward the ceiling. “My period was late, just before Christmas, and it scared me to death. I started telling boys no, and some of them got ugly. One guy, a real dork, fat and ugly, was really cruel. He called me a dog and said all the guys called me a dog… ugly and easy.”

“God,” she said, covering her eyes with a forearm. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get into that at all. I’ve only talked to my therapist about it.” She smiled sadly. “You’re easy to talk to.”

“You had to see a therapist?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah but not till later. That spring, guys kept after me, and I still liked guys, at least doing things with them. But I made them wear condoms.” She glanced at me. “I wasn’t a ‘good girl,’ Sean. None of the girls wanted much to do with me, at least none of the girls I liked. And one really nice guy, who I had a bit of a crush on, would barely talk to me. So the next year, I talked my parents into putting me into a private school.”

“And you got a clean start?” I asked.

“It began that way,” she said. “But guys are guys. Like I told you before, cute guys only want to hang out with cute girls unless they can get something, and ugly guys aren’t much better. I tried going with a couple of guys, but it never amounted to much. Most guys, once they got what they wanted, didn’t want anything to do with me, until they got horny again. Even Mark. I saw him at a mall in Houston once with his family. He barely talked to me, and they laughed as they walked away.”

“I started with the therapist in high school. And I’m doing better,” she said with a shrug. “I like San Marcos, and I’ve made good friends; girl friends. Janet likes guys too. She was a virgin until she got to college, but now she’s boy crazier than I am. I’ve calmed down a bit.”

“No boyfriend?” I asked.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Guys go for looks.”

“You’ve got to quit saying that,” I told her. “You aren’t ugly. I don’t know what you looked like when you were in high school, but you look nice now.”

She smiled and stroked my cheek. “My noble Dunedain.” She sighed. “I’m plain, Sean. And skinny.”

“Linda,” I groaned, and pulled her closer. “You’re beautiful… when you smile, when you sing… geez, you can sing. And you’re all feminine…”

She laughed. “I’m skinny. I don’t have any…” she cupped one of her small breasts and shook it.”

I put my hand over it to stop her and she froze. Then I looked down into her eyes, holding her breast. “Not every guy likes droopy boobs. Yours are perfect; just right.” I left my hand there just long enough to make my point, then moved my hand back to her side.

She smiled sadly. “You’re gay, Sean. You like boys. You probably like girls who look like boys.”

“Stop it,” I said, placing my hand on her cheek and turning her to face me. “I like girls who are slender and feminine,” I said softly. “And I think you’re terrific. And I can’t be the only one. You can’t tell me that no guy has ever made love to you because he liked you and wanted to be with you.”

She shook her head sadly. “No. I don’t think so. And for sure, no guy ever ‘made love’ to me because he thought I was beautiful or wanted to be with me. They just wanted to screw. Look, I’m sorry. I’ve spoiled the evening.”

She started to roll away but I held her. “You are beautiful, Linda, and smart, and desirable.”

And then I realized, I was holding her, half-pinned with my body, and I was still hard. She felt me, and looked up into my eyes.

It struck me that if anyone ever needed rescuing, Linda did. I liked her a lot. She was unique. She was special. And she needed to be treated that way. She needed to be made love to by someone who cared. I cared. And I wanted to help her. And to be real honest, our secret sharing had gotten me hot as hell. But how would I ever explain it to Daniel. To do other guys was one thing, but a girl?

Her hand slipped into my underwear.

“But I’m gay,” I whispered, protesting as much to myself as to her.

She gripped my cock. “I can tell,” she said, smiling.

I frowned at her. “Well I could pretend you’re a guy,” I said.

She frowned back. “I could pretend you are.”

“Oh, low blow!” I complained.

“Yeah, you’d like that,” she answered, and then squeezed my cock.

“Nah,” I said. “Girls don’t do that as well as guys.”

“Oh,” she said, slyly. “I wouldn’t be too sure of that.” She squeezed my cock again. “Of course, boys have their redeeming features.”

I laid a hand on her breast. “So do girls,” I said.

She laughed pushing me onto my back, and climbed onto me, straddling my lap, tickling my ribs. I squirmed under her, but didn’t buck her off, and she settled on me. Through our underwear, I could feel her mound pressing the under side of my cock. Her tickling slowed and her hands moved to my shoulders; she rubbed herself on me.

It seemed natural to reach up under her T-shirt and cup her breasts. She smiled.

“I really do like them,” I said softly.

Her hair hung down over me, shading her face from what little light there was in the room so that her eyes were two dark pools staring down at me.

I pushed up under her, enjoying the rubbing. “Just don’t fall in love with me, Linda,” I said with a smile.

She laughed, lightly. “Too late,” she said, stroking my cheek, “my young, wounded, Dunedain.” Then her eyes grew earnest. “Sean,” she asked quietly. “How would you make love to a girl if you really liked her?”

With my hands on her arms, I pulled her down to me. “I’ll show you,” I whispered and rolled with her, rolling her to her back, keeping myself between her legs.

We kissed, a long, tender, warm kiss, and pressed together, my hardness against her. I did like Linda. She was special. I wanted to make love to her in such a way that she would know she was special, and that I liked her.

Daniel accused me of falling in love easily, but my true tendency, especially as I grew older, was simply to feel love when I made love. I opened my heart in intimacy; it would become increasingly part of my nature. And at that moment, holding Linda’s slender, naked body to mine, I felt a surge of affection for her. I pulled my head back, looked into her eyes, and let myself think she was the most wonderful girl I’d ever known. She saw my look. She saw the happiness in my eyes, and over her face passed, first wonder, then gratitude, and then hunger; all in an instant.

We kissed and I held her tightly. We paused for a breath and put our foreheads together. “I’ve never met a girl like you,” I whispered.

“I sure as hell have never met a guy like you.”

“Gay?” I asked.

She laughed. Then she kissed my lips lightly once, twice. She playfully sucked in my bottom lip. I sighed and slid my hand under her T-shirt, cupping a breast. Linda sighed, and ran her fingers into the back of my hair, opening her mouth to mine. Her mouth was warm, inviting. I explored it with my tongue and rubbed myself between her legs. Linda moaned, softly.

Her nipple was hard and I tweaked it lightly between my fingertips. She moaned again and pulled on the back of my neck, inviting me deeper into the kiss. Taking my hand from her breast, I slid it under the small of her back, pulling her belly to mine; bare belly to bare belly.

She came to me, pressing her belly up to me, arching under me. I pushed up her shirt with both hands and closing my mouth over her nipple, I sucked; not hard like Aaron sucked my nipples, but gently, with enjoyment. I liked the firmness of her breasts; I liked the feel of her nipple in my mouth; I liked her taste.

I was sucking a girl’s breast, and I liked it; I liked it, because it was Linda’s breast. While I sucked, I reached between her legs, caressing her through her panties. I slid my hand inside them and felt her dampness, felt her erect clitoris. She moved her hips under my hand. She would be ready soon; very soon.

I knelt up on my good knee and pulled her panties down and off. She sat up and let me take off her shirt, and I held her sitting up, her breasts to my chest her lips turned up to mine. We kissed and her hands traveled my back. My back was hard, and her fingertips explored my muscles.

Laying her back down, I lay down beside her and pulled off my shorts. Then I rolled onto her my cock pressing onto her mound. We kissed, and she opened her legs to me. I felt her dampness; she was ready. I was ready. While still embraced, I lifted my hips, wondering if I could find her by slipping my cockhead into the lips of her vagina. She moved with me, moving her hips, moving her entrance to find me.

We met. Her damp opening yielded to my cockhead and I pressed forward. She moaned and moved against me; sliding me in, sliding us together in one smooth movement. Linda was long inside, and took me almost the whole way before I felt her tightness. She gasped and I sighed. “You’re big,” she whispered into my ear.

“You’re perfect,” I told her. “Perfect for me. You’re even perfect inside.” I pulled back and pushed back in. Her body squirmed under me, adjusting, finding the fit. I pulled slowly back and then pushed in again.

She arched her head back on the pillow, and I sucked on her neck as we moved together. Her hands lay gently on the back of my shoulders until one of my thrusts penetrated her final tightness, and then her fingers dug in and she arched hard under me. I froze. “You OK?” I asked. It felt so good to be buried all the way in her; to feel the tightness of her cervix caress my cockhead, to feel her labia pushing at my base, stretching me back. I didn’t want to back off, but I wouldn’t hurt her.

She nodded. “Yeah,” she said, tensely. “It’s good.”

I moved slowly, out and back in. Her fingers dug in farther, but I kept moving, and soon she began to relax. We kissed, and held the kiss while we moved. When I thrust forward with my hips, she thrust forward with hers, meeting me in a kiss of our bodies; over and over.

Lifting my head, I watched her. Watching for what pleased her, adjusting my movements. She watched me and repeated her movements that pleased me. She felt wonderful inside, warming, enveloping, caressing my length. We drew closer to our climaxes and I laid my head back down, pressing my cheek to hers. And when she was very close, I drove faster and deeper, using all my willpower to hold off of my own climax. And then she came, arching under me, tensing, crying out softly.

I held her on the edge, pumping my hips fast; fast fucking, like guys sometimes do with girls but rarely do with each other. And I held her on the edge until I came, bringing her to a second orgasm with me. I pressed deep, pulsing my seed deep inside her.

We held each other tightly, and I stayed in her, and kissed her. I started to soften, and still I stayed inside her, and we remained entwined as we kissed.

It felt good to be joined with her, deep in her, holding her in my arms, feeling her arms around me. I rested my forehead on hers. “You are perfect,” I whispered once again. She smiled contentedly, her eyes closed.

I held her in my embrace and stayed in her because I wanted to be different for her; no “slam, bam, thank you ma’am,” not like other guys, not for Linda. I pressed my cheek to hers once again, and holding her, I began to harden once more. She felt it, moving her hips to test my length. So I moved again, slowly, in small pulls and pushes of my hips.

Her cheek was soft against mine; her hair smelled clean and faintly floral. Her hands slid slowly down my back, feeling the working of my muscles. I lengthened my stroke and her heels dug in under my butt. I lifted my head to kiss her once again and held the kiss as she warmed.

This time, she came with me, her insides clamping down on me. I arched up, pushing up on my hands, and cried out when I came because my cockhead went supersensitive and her cervix gripped it hard. I cried out and pushed as deep as I could go, trying to get my cockhead past the tightness, pressing my balls under her labia, my pubic bone hard onto hers. We pressed together, every muscle in my back, butt, and legs rigid for a long, long time; until the clutching of her insides and the pulsing of my cock slowly ebbed.

I pulled back from her tightness and slowly laid back down on her. Our bodies were warm and damp. Linda sighed deeply and threw her arms over my shoulder. She pressed her cheek to my ear. “You’re incredible, little brother,” she whispered.

“You’re amazing, big sister,” I whispered back.

This time, I softened quickly and pulled myself from her. I moved to my side, but held her in my arms, and she snuggled in to me. The sheets were down, so I covered her with my leg, while our bodies cooled.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” I said. “I have no idea what to say to Daniel.”

“I’ll talk to him,” she volunteered.

“Like hell you will!” I told her. “That’d really ice things. No, Daniel’s gonna freak. It took him forever to get me to admit I was gay to begin with. He’s going to think I’m backsliding.”

“Are you?” she asked quietly, looking up at me.

“Only this time for you, big sister. I had to show you what it was like to have love made to you by someone who really liked you.”

“And you got horny telling stories,” she said.

“And I got damned horny telling stories,” I said. “You did too.”

She chuckled. “Well at least now I know how to help you backslide.”

I reached down and pulled up the bed covers. “And you’ll always be the only one who was able to do it,” I told her.

We had not been sleeping long when I heard a key in the door. It opened, and outside light came, unwelcome into the room. The door closed, and I heard Colin, finding his way in the dark, toward the two beds. Linda nuzzled into my neck, and I pulled her closer to me. I could hear Colin undressing, and then he crawled into bed; my bed.

There was a soft, affectionate kiss on my shoulder and a pat on my butt, before he backed his naked butt to mine, his back to mine, and pulled the covers tightly over us. He never even noticed Linda.

Before long, his breathing evened and I heard Linda whisper faintly, “Are you still awake?”

I nodded.

She kissed my collarbone. “I better go,” she whispered, moving away.

I tried to hold her, but she gently freed herself, so I followed her from the bed and pulled on my shorts when she dressed. I followed her out the door and closed it behind me. She turned and I took her into my arms. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It would have been fun to finish our slumber party and cuddle all night.”

Linda smiled sweetly and caressed my cheek with the palm of her hand. “Colin needs his big brother,” she said. “Remember what you said you did after the first time with… what was her name? Mrs. Robinson?”

“Mrs. Kirkland,” I said, laughing at her reference to ‘The Graduate’. “Yeah, I held Colin that night while he was sleeping. You think Janet was a bit much for him?”

Linda’s grin widened. “Oh, yeah.” And then she grew serious. “He’s only sixteen, Sean. He needs you to be with him tonight. You take care of him. And then when you guys wake up in the morning, come and we’ll fix you breakfast.”

I nodded, and then pulled her tightly to me, pressing my cheek to hers. “Thanks for tonight,” I said.

She hugged me back, and kissed the side of my neck. “You really did do it Sean. You made me feel it; it really was the first time a boy actually made love to me.” She kissed me and then laid her head on my shoulder. “I may never date another straight guy again.”

“Sure you will,” I said. “Someone special is going to come along for you; you’ll see… big sis.”

She laughed, lightly, and kissed my neck. “Good night, little bro.”

In the dark, I pulled off my shorts, climbed into bed, and spooned up behind Colin, laying my arm over his waist. I wanted him to feel safe in his sleep; protected. He stirred, rolling to his back and I slid my other arm under the back of his head. He opened his eyes and smiled sleepily up at me.

“Did you have a good time?” I asked.

He nodded, but then, snuggled into me, and I held him with an arm under the back of his head and my other arm over his chest. I held him just like I did when we were kids.

As usual, emails are appreciated at btomandback@hotmail.com