Sea Change

Sea Change, Pt 45

I wish to retain all rights to this story. However, I am delighted to grant permission to any person to publish this story as long as there is no charge to the reader and as long as no changes are made to the story.

Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

SEA CHANGE

CHAPTER 45 — Sorting It Out

Lenny and I said little on the way back to his place. I had homework to complete, but we had more important things to do. We needed to make love.

Once there, we went quietly back to his bedroom. He closed the door and I rubbed the back of his shoulders. When I did, he leaned back into me. “Thanks, Baby,” he said softly. “I had a good time.”

I turned him to face me and pulled him to me by his hips. “You know I did,” I said, and then I had to laugh. “And it was hot, kissing and all in public. You had me so worked up.”

Lenny draped his arms over my shoulders and smiled. “Do you think I wasn’t?”

His lips looked so kissable. I gently pressed mine against them. We tightened our embrace, my arms around his waist, his around my shoulders. We kissed and nuzzled, enjoying each other’s taste and the feel of our bodies.

I gently lifted his sweater off, then pulled off my shirt and touched my naked belly to his. We wrapped each other up, warm flesh on warm flesh. We kissed and held each other, our hands roaming naked backs and sides.

Taking his head in my hands, I tilted his face up to mine. I brushed his lips with mine, and looked into his beautiful gray eyes. I felt a huge surge of affection for Lenny in that moment, and I let him see it.

Lenny’s eyes closed, and he wrapped his arms tightly around my chest. He pressed his cheek to mine. “I love you,” he said softly.

I nodded. “I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” he asked, rubbing his cheek on mine.

“Because,” I said. “I’m no better than Jack. I thought he was a creep for leaving you. But when I go to be with Dan, I’m going to be just as bad.”

“Baby,” he said, stroking the back of my neck. “You’ve given me something Jack never gave me.” He pressed his cheek even harder to mine. “You’ve fallen in love with me, Sean, and no one’s ever done that before.”

He was right. I had, just like he had fallen in love with me. It was out between us now. And because he understood that ultimately I belonged to Dan, the rules were clear. Within those rules we were free to love each other.

It was liberating. I felt a thrill of exhilaration… and desire. I kissed him and held him in a tight embrace. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” I whispered. “And I do love you, Lenny… with breasts; without breasts; in a dress, in pants.”

He laughed and I swung him around in my arms, laughing with him. Our eyes met and we stopped. Our smiles faded. Our lips met once more, and his mouth opened to mine.

I bent him back, supporting him with an arm under his back, and I let him feel my hardness against him. My pulse quickened and I kissed him, probing deeply with my tongue.

We broke for air, breathing hard. Reaching under his back, I unfastened his bra. Then I held him up, under the arms, and pressed my mouth to his right nipple.

Lenny tensed and ran his fingers into the back of my hair. I sucked his nipples; first one, then another, taking my time. I sucked them until he squirmed, his fingers clutching my head.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on to him while I sucked his navel and nibbled at his stomach. I ran my hands up under his skirt, feeling up the inside of his stocking-covered thighs. His cock and balls were straining at the material of his panties. I felt over them with my fingers and cupped them with my palm.

I pulled off his shoes and dropped his skirt. By then, his fingers had combed my hair into an unruly mop. When I pressed my mouth to the front of his black panties, he clutched handfuls of my tangles and his hips writhed.

I pulled down the waistband of his panties with my teeth, and the back with my fingers. When his cock and balls sprung free, I nuzzled and sucked them until Lenny pulled me back to my feet.

Our eyes met. Lenny smiled; I smiled. He backed me to the bed, and when I sat, he pulled off my shoes. Then he pushed me back so he could pull off my pants and underwear. I scooted back on the bed, sitting back against the headboard, and Lenny crawled up after me wearing only his jewelry and the black stockings that rose high up his thighs. He was hard, rampant; sporting a thick, wagging erection.

He moved up astride me, coming forward until the damp end of his cock slid up my stomach. He knelt astride my hips and leaned forward so that I could suck on his nipples again. I didn’t know whether he was imagining he had breasts or simply enjoyed having his nipples sucked. Either way, I enjoyed sucking on them.

While I did, Lenny reached behind, stroking me, pulling the skin up my cock, pulling up my balls, and then pushing back down. He spat into his hand and spread it over the end of my cock. He spat again and rubbed it into his butt. Our eyes met and narrowed with desire as he pointed my cock into his crack and lowered himself down.

I clutched his thighs and held my breath as his weight and tightness passed over my crown and onto my shaft. Lenny’s face tensed and he closed his eyes as he slowly settled into my lap.

He rested there a moment. Then his eyes opened halfway and he smiled at me. And he began to rock.

I looked down between us. Muscles were working in his belly, hips, and thighs. His thick cock and heavy balls rubbed low on my belly, just above my pubes. I closed my hand around his cock, and I was really, really glad that Lenny was a guy.

. . . . .

Lenny was tired, but I needed to study. So I sat cross-legged and had Lenny lay across my lap so I could show him the way Dan liked to have his butt rubbed when we studied. Lenny scrunched a pillow under his head and fell asleep as I rubbed his butt and stroked in between his legs while I read a history assignment.

Between Lenny and Dan, I was becoming addicted to having the naked body of my lover to cuddle with and sleep next to. I had learned enough about the gay lifestyle to know that a lot of guys slept around; guys wanting only sex, guys without lovers. I felt sorry for them.

Maybe I fell in love too easily. But wasn’t that better than finding it hard to love at all? And really, what choice did I have? I would have had to harden my heart to not fall in love with Lenny.

My eyes dropped to his body. With his long back muscles and firm buttocks, he really was beautiful. I started to grow hard under him. And I wondered for a moment, what the consequences would be if, for the rest of the school year, I slept with him.

I mean, being lovers with Dan for a year, sleeping together, joining our bodies and hearts so many times, bound us together for life. And Ry? Wasn’t it from seeing him Sunday after Sunday and coming to love him as much as he loved me?

Lenny loved me, but it had to be different with him. As much as I already loved Lenny, he wasn’t Dan. And even if at some point I felt as strong about Lenny as I did Ry – hell, I might already – I couldn’t promise to spend my life with everyone I loved. And Lenny certainly wouldn’t want to join our happy triumvirate; he had his own life to lead. Besides, it wouldn’t work. If Ry stuck to his promise and joined Dan and me, it would work because the three of us would fit together like three pieces of one whole, and both Dan and Ry were willing to close the circle. Lenny would fit only with me.

No, by the end of the year, I would have to leave Lenny. But if I already felt this strongly about him, I wondered how hard it would be to do that when the time came.

That is, if we hung together. I hoped we would. Lenny and Michael and Ken, and this house, were becoming my home away from home. And I was grateful to them. But I missed Dan. And suddenly, I really missed him. As much as I really did love Lenny, and as much as Lenny’s place was beginning to feel like home, home would always be with Dan.

Lenny wiggled in my lap, his cock growing in response to mine. I kissed my hand and laid the kiss on Lenny’s butt.

Was there a danger that I would wind up giving to Lenny some of what belonged to Dan? What would it be like if Dan found someone like Lenny? Would he give that person some of what belonged to me, or that he had promised to Ry?

I shook off my musings and returned my attention to my history book.

Lenny stirred and rolled over so that his butt was in my lap and his stiffening cock pointed up his belly. He smiled up at me sleepily. “Rub this side now,” he said and closed his eyes.

I smiled, closing my book and lifting his large, egg-shaped balls in my hand. Damn, I really liked Lenny.

Pushing everything aside, I lay down on him. He spread his legs for me and I settled on him, cock on cock, balls on balls. Gently now, lovingly; we rubbed cocks and bellies, kissing and nuzzling. We took it slowly this second time. I would be content to come this way, and so would Lenny.

. . . . .

Lenny and I may have understood the rules; we both knew our love could extend no farther than it did. The sudden intensity of it still shook me.

I called Dan just after supper the next evening. “I just wanted to hear your voice,” I said, cradling the phone in my neck.

“You OK?” Dan asked.

“Yeah. Just missing you.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Me too, Seany. Just wait for the weekend.”

“You’re all mine this weekend,” I said.

“So Aaron isn’t coming?” Dan asked with a chuckle.

“You know he is… and Jorge. So is Peter. In fact, Peter’s taken me seriously about being Lenny’s gofer. He’s already called Lenny and they’ve worked up a shopping list of groceries for Peter to bring from his uncle’s store.”

“I hadn’t really thought about that,” Dan said. “Feeding seven guys all weekend. Is Lenny going to lose money on this thing?”

“Dunno,” I told him. “I think he’ll be OK. Peter’s getting Lenny a big discount.”

“And Peter doesn’t mind not getting paid to work?” Dan asked.

“Nah. Do you really think any of those guys are coming just for minimum wage?” I asked.

“Minimum wage and your butt,” Dan said.

“Minimum wage and the gay ambience,” I corrected. “It’s going to be like a gay retreat for everyone.”

“Yeah, right. More like two nights of gay orgy.”

“Cut that out!” I told him. “Think work.”

“Work all day,” Dan agreed. “And Seany all night.”

“We’ll have fun,” I promised.

“Sean,” Dan said thoughtfully. “Tell Lenny that he doesn’t need to pay us.”

“I already did,” I told him. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Nah, Seany. You know it’s OK.”

Just then, Eric came in and tossed his books onto his bed. I said quick good-byes to Dan and hung up the phone.

“Who are you?” Eric asked.

“Very funny,” I said. “I’ll be here tonight and tomorrow night.”

“I thought you saw your professor tonight.” He said.

“I do. But I’ll be back afterward. So tell Ferg that I get my bed tonight.”

“What makes you think that he’ll be around? He’s studying with Caitlyn tonight.”

“Really hitting it off, huh?” I asked with a grin.

“Oh, yeah. Who would have thought it?”

“I did,” I said. “But I have a question… isn’t Ferg studying with Caitlyn sort of like the blind leading the blind?”

“If they really study,” Eric said.

. . . . .

Tom handed me a cigar along with my scotch when I sat down in my regular armchair that night.

“I don’t smoke,” I told him.

“You do tonight,” he said, clipping the end off his own cigar.

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to be a dad, and I want somebody to share a cigar with me.”

“A dad? Does that mean Sarah’s pregnant?” I asked, surprised.

“Yep,” Tom said, lighting his cigar and sitting back against his desk.

“Congratulations!” I said, lifting my glass.

Tom flicked open his lighter and held the flame out for me. Reluctantly, I stuck the end of my cigar in it.

“You’ve got to puff on it,” Tom instructed.

So I did, and immediately started choking. I took a gulp of scotch.

Tom moved to his seat behind the desk and kicked back. “You like kids, Streak?” he asked, eyeing his cigar.

“Yeah, I like kids.”

“I like kids. I’m really going to like them now,” Tom said with a grin. Then he slapped the top of the desk. “Damn!”

“You find out today?”

“Yep,” Tom said as he took a slow, satisfied sip of scotch. “She waited until supper to spring it on me. I had to run back out for cigars.”

“Aren’t you supposed to smoke cigars after the baby comes?” I asked.

“We will. And you know what else?” he said, taking a deep puff from the cigar. “I’m going to marry her. I’m going to do the right thing, Sean. I’m going to marry Sarah.”

“Does she know?” I asked, amused.

“Yes, sir! I told her tonight. And she said yes... of course, I told her she had to,” he said, and tapped his cigar. “Hey! You wanna be my best man?”

“What?” I asked, laughing.

“I’m serious,” he said. “It’s going to be real low key. We’ll have a little ceremony this weekend, or maybe next. Neither of us has family in town … we may not even invite any friends. But even if we do, I don’t want any of them getting upset because I didn’t ask them to be best man. You’ll be perfect.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“I said I’m serious!” Tom said, with a quick frown in my direction. “I’m serious.”

“I’m going to be out of town this weekend,” I told him apologetically. “Maybe next weekend, too.”

He frowned. “Just where are you going to be next weekend?” he asked.

“Helping a friend do some landscaping.”

“What about that Friday night? I don’t want to have to wait until after Thanksgiving.”

I thought about it. “Friday night could work.”

“SARAH!” Tom called out.

After a couple of minutes, she leaned in.

“How about next Friday night?” he asked.

Her eyes dropped to the floor as she considered it. “OK. That could work.”

“Done!” he said, and took another puff on his cigar.

“Do you have to smoke those things?” Sarah asked, wrinkling her nose.

“Be civil,” Tom said, waving his cigar dismissively. “I’m about to endow you with all my worldly goods.”

“Great,” she said as she left the room. “Time for a yard sale.”

“Not my couch!” Tom called out after her.

“She hates my couch,” he told me with a wink, and then leaned back in his seat. “Yes, getting married is a good career move for me. I’ll be a much better writer now because I’ll understand suffering.”

“I heard that!” Sarah called out from the other room.

“Yep,” he said. “I feel inspired already.”

I leaned back, sipping my scotch. “I’m just curious,” I said thoughtfully. “What kind of grade does a best man get?”

“Oh, that reminds me,” he said. “I want to see the article you’re writing for the Owl.”

“I haven’t written it yet,” I said.

“Then do it by next Wednesday,” he said.

“I have a big weekend,” I protested.

Tom waved a dismissive hand. “Do it before the weekend.”

I groaned and laid my head back on the chair.

Tom blew a smoke ring, and we both admired it as it climbed upward.

“You like girls, Streak? I hear you have a couple of girl friends.”

“Nope,” I said. “Not really. I’m gay, remember?”

“Shame,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s damned exciting to be a dad.”

I took another sip of scotch, and I envied him. I wondered if Dan and I would ever have kids of our own.

. . . . .

When I returned to the dorm that evening, I found that Ryan had left a message to call him back, no matter how late it was. It was almost ten and I wasn’t sure a call would go through their switchboard that late, but I tried.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t call,” Ry said.

“Your message said to, no matter how late.”

“Yeah. It’s important. I got my flight tickets for Thanksgiving.”

“I told you Ry, we’re going to be in Houston.”

“I know. Listen. My flight goes through Houston and Nate had an idea. Thanksgiving is Thursday…”

“I sorta knew that, Ry,” I said with a chuckle.

“Fuck you, Sean. Just listen.”

“Oh, pickin’ up some gutter language at school, huh?”

“Will you just listen!” he said, exasperated.

“Sorry,” I said with a smile in my voice. “It’s just really, really good talking to you again, Ry. I miss you.”

“Yeah, well I want more than just talking Sean… I need to see you again. Look, here’s what I’m thinking. Thanksgiving is Thursday. My ticket is for late Wednesday and I change planes in Houston. Nate says that if I don’t wait too long to do it, I can probably change the first leg of my flight to Tuesday. Can you guys be in Houston by then? Can I spend the night there with you? Then I can fly on home on the last leg the next day, and my parents will never know.”

“Damn, Ry. I’d like to, but what if your parents did find out?”

“There’s no way. I’ve already got the ticket.”

“Are you going to skip school on Tuesday?” I asked.

“Not exactly. See, I told my parents that we got out Wednesday, but I found out two days ago that a lot of kids leave Tuesday and it’s ok with the school. I mean, there are kids from all over the country here. They need time to travel.”

“I suppose it could work,” I said, half to myself. “But we definitely don’t get out of school until Wednesday. We’d have to see what we can work out. And we have to be really careful, Ry. You’re still a minor and we could be in a shitload of trouble sneaking you away for a night. We couldn’t even let Roger and Mary know.”

“We can camp out in your Bronco somewhere,” he said. “Please, Sean? It’s going to be forever before we get another chance and I miss you so much!”

I could almost see him, his face, and his pleading eyes. My heart stirred. Had it really been only a couple of months since we’d been together? It seemed longer. “Let Dan and me talk it over.”

“I need to know now so I can get my ticket changed before it’s too late.”

“OK, OK,” I said, deciding. “Do it. We’ll figure out how to meet you.”

“Oh, man,” he wailed.

“What now?”

“It’s going to seem like forever until then.”

I thought of Ry as I always thought of him, smiling, passionate… his devotion to me obvious in his eyes. I remembered the feel of his smaller body when he leapt into my arms. I remembered the warmth of his love and the softness of his lips. “Yeah, Ry,” I said gently. “It will.”

. . . . .

After swimming the next afternoon, Ken waited for me in the shower. No one else was around. “You going to Lenny’s tonight?” he asked.

“No. I see my ‘little brother’ on Thursday nights. You going over there?” I asked.

“Nope,” Ken said, soaping his crotch. “Michael’s working late and I have a test tomorrow.”

“All mine are next week,” I said.

“Streak,” he said, thoughtfully. “Are you going to call Rafael?”

“Rafael?” I asked surprised. “No. Don’t tell me that you’re thinking about it.”

“The guy’s hot,” Ken said, rinsing his head under the shower. “And I’m pretty much ready for my test.”

“But you have a boyfriend.”

“So do you,” he pointed out. “That doesn’t stop you from doing other guys.”

“That’s different… and I’m not doing other guys. I’m doing Lenny.”

“You did Michael… and me,” he pointed out.

“That was then. Now’s different. You and Michael have something special. Why mess that up with Rafael?”

Ken soaped under his arms, thinking about what I’d said. I noticed that his cock had thickened. “You’re right,” he said. “Sneaking out to do Rafael would sorta be like cheating. Maybe I won’t call him.”

“Maybe?” I asked.

He glanced at me, and the glance traveled down my body. It had been two days since Lenny’s and my date, and without my wanting it to, my cock responded to his eyes. It thickened, stiffening enough at the base for my cock to hang farther out.

“When are we – you and me… going to do it again?” he asked. “It’s not like we haven’t done each other.”

“Keeping it in the family instead of chasing after Rafael?” I said with a smile, half to myself. Both our cocks were stiffening and we turned our backs to the doorway. I didn’t want to encourage Ken, but it’s hard as hell to hide a hard-on in a shower. The more Ken looked me over, the harder I became.

“Look,” I said, trying to calm things down. “I’ve got Lenny. You’ve got Michael. OK? We don’t need to mess around.”

“Except that we want to,” Ken said. Then he leaned closer. “It is like keeping it in the family, Streak. Or at least in the house.” He lowered his voice. “The towel room is probably unlocked.”

Sometimes it’s awfully easy to think with your small head instead of your big one, especially at the age of eighteen. And fighting an erection while standing next to a really hot, naked, diver is not the easiest time to think clearly. But I did try.

I didn’t want him going over to Rafael’s that night and screwing things up between him and Michael. It was easy to think that Michael would look at Ken and me getting it on in an entirely different light. But it was Thursday. And Dan and I didn’t do other guys, or even jack off, on Thursdays before we were to see each other.

Deciding to step away from temptation, I quickly rinsed and grabbed my towel, holding it in front to hide my cock. Ken was next to me in a flash. We had to walk by the towel room to get to the lockers, and when we did, Ken tried the doorknob. It turned.

There is almost always a moment when you sit on the edge, able to decide either way; sometimes with a little effort. For a moment, we both stood looking at his hand on the doorknob, and I could have walked on, but I didn’t. He opened the door.

The room was dark. He stepped in and turned on the light. I followed and closed the door, locking it. Ken turned to me and we dropped our towels, grabbing each other’s cocks. We moved closer, chest to chest; stroking, our breath hot on each other’s necks.

The room smelled of warm towels and washing machines. It was just big enough for two washers and two dryers on one side, and floor-to-ceiling shelves for clean towels on the other. We stood in the middle.

I didn’t think. I just felt. I pushed away all thoughts that it was Thursday, sure that I could come up with an explanation later for Dan.

Ken did have a great body, slender, like Colin; just a little wider in the shoulders. His skin was warm from the shower and his breath was hot on my neck. His lips pressed in under my ear.

“Shit, Streak!” he whispered aloud. “I forgot how long you get.”

We brushed cheeks. Then our lips met and we grabbed each other by the ass.

We kissed and ground until it was time to do something more. I turned him around, and dropped to my knees behind him. When I pressed my hand up between his legs, he spread his feet apart to give me access. I rubbed his perineum with my palm, moving up on the underside of his cock. With my other hand, I pushed one of his butt cheeks to the side and buried my face in his crack.

Fresh from the shower, he smelled clean, and faintly of soap. I worked with my tongue, getting him ready. Before long, his undulating hips were moving his cock over my hand and his butt back against my tongue.

I stood up quickly and with one hand, held him by the hip while guiding my cock into his crack with my other. I paused with my cock wedged in his crack, glans snug against his opening; and moved both hands to his narrow waist. For a moment, I held him and let my eyes travel up and down his long back, narrow waist, and firm butt. Then I watched our connection as I pressed slowly in until his butt and the back of his legs were snug in my lap and against the front of my legs.

Ken groaned, and I pulled him harder against me, pressing deep.

I pulled back with my hips, almost all the way out, and then pushed in again, slowly.

Ken moaned softly.

I picked up my pace and Ken straightened up more, leaning back against me. I held him loosely with an arm, low around his waist as I pumped back and forth. His tightness traveled up and down my shaft, but most of our movement consisted of a mutual grinding of the hips. With my free hand, I roamed his back and sides, enjoying the feel of his muscles and taut skin.

“It’s good for me,” I said quietly. “How is it for you?”

“Good,” he said and twisted back at the waist for a kiss.

Then he straightened and started stroking himself. I adjusted my angle to get a better rub on his prostate. I found the spot, and we hit a rhythm, moving into an easy, languid copulation.

I lasted a long time, partly because I didn’t want to face the reality that I knew would confront me when we were done; the reality that I’d broken Dan’s and my Thursday agreement. It was such a small thing to be faithful about, and I’d messed up. I didn’t want to think about it. So I was reluctant to end too soon.

I wrapped both arms around Ken’s middle, pulling him firmly back against me. I stopped thrusting completely and just held him tightly as we circled hips. I dropped a hand to his cock to stroke him, and he groaned appreciatively.

Eventually, he started to moan and I felt him begin to tense. He reached back behind to grab my butt and pull me more tightly against him. I bent my knees to angle more direct up into him, and he whimpered.

When he came, I pushed up hard, almost lifting him on my cock. I clenched my butt and the inside of my thighs, and I came with him; emptying myself into him while he sprayed semen over one of the washing machines.

He collapsed back against me, and I rested my forehead against the base of his neck as I pulsed out the last of my seed. And with it, went all of the heat that had driven me.

We were quiet as I slipped from inside him. We rested for a moment, his back to my front. His body felt really good against mine; and yet not good.

“I’m sorry,” I said, giving his butt a light pat.

“Why?” he asked, stepping away, and bending to pick up his towel.

“Because,” I said, “what we did just now… that was just getting our rocks off.”

Ken dried his crack with his towel and gave me a lopsided smile. “It was hot,” he said.

I nodded. “Yeah, it was. But I’m used to it being different for me with Dan and Lenny. I like making love with… well with a lover. It’s different then, you know?”

Ken nodded. “I suppose. It’s different for me with Mikey. Real comfortable and affectionate and… well,” he smiled, “it feels really right.”

I wiped my cock off with my towel, and I remembered how Lenny said once that when you screw around a lot, you don’t feel as good about yourself.

“But this wasn’t bad,” Ken added. “I mean, getting all hot and sneaking into the towel room... that’s sorta cool.”

Seeing him there, smiling, awfully damn hot looking, naked with his hanging cock still thick, I felt myself already considering doing Ken again. I shook it off. Though it would be wrong to make him feel bad for what had happened, I didn’t need to encourage an encore.

“We better get going,” I said.

Ken pulled me into an embrace. “Thanks,” he said, giving me a light kiss. “Don’t feel bad about it, OK? Because we are friends. And because I’ll want to do it again. And next time, it’s my turn in back.” He smiled, and gave me another light kiss. The press of our naked bellies felt comfortable. And yeah, he was a friend.

I knew I was late and was distracted as I hurried out the door. Ken followed closely on my heels. Glancing at my watch, I didn’t see the bicyclist until he slammed into my side. I went down with a cry as pain shot up my bad leg.

Grabbing my knee, I rolled on the ground in genuine pain and only slowly became aware of the shirtless blond boy, who was also lying on the ground next to his bicycle. Though his back was to me, I could see that he was no more than eleven or twelve years old.

Another shirtless kid, of the same age, with black hair, had dropped his bicycle and was leaning over the blond kid.

Ken leaned over me, looking deeply concerned. “You OK, Streak?”

My eyes watered from the pain and I tried blinking them clear. “My knee,” I said in a tense voice. Then my eyes started to tear again, this time out of frustration over being re-injured.

“Your hurt knee?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Oh, shit, Streak!” he exclaimed. “Is it bad?”

“I don’t know yet,” I said, extending my leg gingerly. The initial pain was subsiding, and I wiped my eyes on my shirtsleeves, hopeful that my knee might be alright. “How’s the kid?” I asked, nodding toward the blond boy, who was now sitting up.

The blond kid was quietly crying. On his shoulder was three-inch scrape, and the black-haired kid was trying to comfort him.

Ken helped me to my feet and pulled my arm over his shoulder to support me.

“You OK kid?” I asked.

The two of them looked up, and for a moment, I was struck by the fact that they were beautiful kids. The blond had an angelic look and deep blue eyes. The other kid had a small face with fine features and a thick head of hair. But what stood out about him were his dark, intelligent eyes.

The blond kid looked not only hurt, but frightened as well. Too frightened to answer my question.

“He’s alright,” the black-haired kid said. “Aren’t you, Davey?”

The blond boy nodded slowly.

“You need to get that road rash cleaned up,” I said, pointing to the scrape on the blond boy’s shoulder. “It needs washing and antiseptic.”

“We’ll take care of it,” the black-haired boy said as the two of them got to their feet.

“You guys need to start watching where you’re going,” Ken said with a frown.

The dark-haired boy’s eyes flashed, and he put his arm around his friend. “You should have been watching,” he said. “You walked right out in front of us.”

The blond boy’s eyes went wide, and I could tell he was alarmed at a possible confrontation. “Look,” I said, my eyes on the blond boy’s. “I’m alright if you are. OK?”

He nodded. “I’m… OK.”

He struggled with the words and it struck me that he might not be normal. I realized why his friend was so protective, and that touched me.

A bicyclist myself, my eyes went next to the blond boy’s bike. “Your chain has come off,” I pointed out. “Do you want me to fix it?”

“We can fix it,” the black-haired boy said. Then Ken and I watched, my arm over Ken’s shoulder, as they gathered up their bikes and put the chain back on.

“How’s the knee?” Ken asked as we watched them ride off.

“Sore,” I said. “Would you mind if the Campus Queen uses your shoulder to get back to his dorm?”

Ken frowned. “Don’t talk that way. You’re not a queen.” He put his arm behind my waist to help support me. “And I’m glad to help my friend.”

. . . . .

I still made it to Trevor’s house. But between my re-injured knee and breaking my Thursday promise, I was really bummed. So I took my guitar, thinking it would help me feel better.

Lisa immediately set me up on the couch with an icepack on my knee. “You take it easy,” she instructed. “I waited to start on supper until you were here so that it wouldn’t get cold. Just relax with the boys and I’ll have it out in no time.”

And so, I relaxed and picked at the guitar while Trevor filled me in on his week. Russell sat with us for a few minutes, interested in the guitar, but then he became distracted by the television.

It didn’t surprise me that Trevor seemed to be popular at his school and evidently had a number of friends. He was athletic and personable. But as I’d gotten to know him, he had let me catch glimpses of the loneliness he occasionally felt because he didn’t know any other gay guys his age. With frequent glances in his brother’s direction, Trev let me know through a sort of gay, verbal shorthand, that his week had included a few low spots.

I figured it wouldn’t be long before Trevor would find some kid his age to learn things with. He was a cute kid and shouldn’t have any trouble. Thinking about that, I remembered Rafael’s eyes, and then the flashing dark eyes of the black-haired kid earlier that day. “Have you ever thought about contacts?” I asked Trevor.

“I want them,” he said. “We can’t afford them.”

I made a mental note to ask Lisa about the cost. I was accumulating money fast enough to have more than what I needed for Dan’s ear stud. I might have enough for Trevor’s contacts.

He caught me studying his eyes, and smiled shyly. I looked away. Trevor appreciated having a gay, older guy to talk to. We didn’t need it to be anything other than that between us.

I was sure of course, that Trevor would love for it to be something else. That’s why I shouldn’t have been surprised when he grew so excited about going fishing at the Stuebings.

“Who are the Stuebings?” Lisa asked, as we took our seats at her table.

“A rich family,” I said. “My friends and I have been doing some landscaping for them up toward Bulverde, and they have a pond that’s stocked with bass. The dad said I could take Trevor there to fish sometime in the next couple of weeks.”

“This weekend!” Trevor said.

“Whoa, not this weekend,” I said. “I’m going to be working.”

“I can help!” Trevor offered.

For only a moment, I thought about Trevor in that crowd of horndogs. “No,” I said, shaking my head.

“Next weekend then,” he offered.

“Probably busy next weekend too,” I said. “How about next Thursday afternoon. We can scoot up there right after school and get in some fishing before dark.”

“Ah,” Trevor said, looking disappointed. “On a weekend, we could camp out… hey!” he said, his eyes suddenly going wide. “We could still camp out. We could camp out next Thursday night and come back early, in time for school. Mom,” he said, turning to his mother, “The back of his Bronco is already set up for camping. We could do it, right?”

“No, I don’t think that’d work, Trevor,” I said, apologetically.

“But it would work,” Trevor repeated. “Wouldn’t it, Mom?”

“And I could go, too. Right, Mom?” Russell asked.

“No, Russell,” Trevor said quickly.

She glanced at me, biting her lip. “It might work if you could get him home in time. Or if you took him right to school,” she offered, hesitantly.

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I’ve got classes Friday and a full weekend.”

“Aw, come on, Sean,” Trevor said. “Please!”

I tried to think it through. I’d only mentioned it to Trevor because he seemed a bit down. That had certainly changed. And I didn’t want to spoil that.

“Let it drop, Trevor,” Lisa said, watching me. “Maybe you can camp out some other time.”

When she said that, Trevor looked crestfallen. That was the exact opposite result of what I wanted. “We can still go fishing,” I said. “And we’ll camp out sometime,” I assured him.

He didn’t smile.

After supper, when we were away from Russell and Lisa, I rubbed the back of Trevor’s neck. “I’m not sure what you had in mind, Mr. LeCoste, but if I ever do take you camping, it will only be to camp… nothing else.”

Trevor shook his head. “You don’t understand,” he said.

So I thought about it. I did know what it was like to be gay, and how great it was to be able to relax with other gay guys; with others who could understand. I wondered if maybe he just wanted to be able to talk. “You wouldn’t try anything?” I asked.

He frowned and sighed. “Not much.”

“Not much?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

He smiled.

“Little stinker!” I said.

“OK, OK, I won’t,” he said, hurriedly. “So can we camp out too? Please?”

I squeezed the back of his neck, rubbing it. “Maybe some other time, Trevor. I really have a lot going on next weekend.”

“But it’ll be Thursday night. Won’t you at least think about letting us camp too?” he asked, pleading with his eyes.

“Alright,” I said. “I’ll think about it. But about fishing and camping only.”

“And a campfire?”

“We’ll see.”

“Yay!!!!” Trevor whooped.

And I wondered if I’d just been manipulated into a ‘yes’ by the little stinker.

It was early enough so I called Lenny and got the phone number of the Stuebings. Even if he had told me it was OK to do, I still wanted to check with Mr. Stuebing before taking Trevor up there the next Thursday.

“Oh sure,” Mr. Stuebing said. “You remember where all the fishing gear is?”

“Yes, sir. I do.”

“You know, Sean, I’m glad you called,” he told me. “Lenny said he has some extra help coming this weekend. Tell me about them. Who’s coming?”

“Well, actually,” I said, “they’re all friends of Dan’s and mine. They’re all college students and hard workers.”

“What kind of guys, Sean? Ya’ll aren’t planning some kind of college party up there, I hope.”

“No sir,” I said. “These are good guys. None of them are like you’re thinking. And we’re all really serious about doing a good job for Lenny and for you.”

“Are they all like you and your friend, Dan?” he asked. “Pretty straight?”

I almost choked. “They’re all just as straight as we are, sir. No druggies or anything like that, if that’s what you mean.”

There was a pause. “I hope you don’t mind that I asked,” he said.

“Not at all.”

“It’s just that we’re leaving for Dallas tomorrow afternoon and won’t be back until Sunday night. You’ll be on your own. And I’d already told you guys you could spread your sleeping bags in the living room and use the kitchen and all.”

“We don’t have to if you’d rather we didn’t,” I said.

“No, no. Feel free. Just clean up when you’re done. My wife and I felt good about letting you, Dan, and Lenny use the place while you’re up there working. We’ll feel good about a couple more guys like you using it.”

“We’ll take good care of the place,” I promised again. “Have a good time at the Cowboy game.”

“Oh, we will,” he said. “And you have a good time taking your young friend fishing.

. . . . .

Eric was gone when I returned to the dorm that night, and it was a good opportunity to call Dan. As much as I dreaded confessing to Dan that I had screwed up that day, I really needed to talk to him.

“Well, it’s not like it’s going to be just us this weekend anyway,” Dan told me. “You wouldn’t have been saving yourself for only me.”

“Can’t you be at least a little angry?” I said. “I’d feel better.”

He was quiet for a moment. “I guess I am a little disappointed,” Dan said. “But what can I say? It’s almost happened to me. You know I get just as horny as you do.” He took a deep breath. “There are times, Seany, when I think I’m really, really ready for us to settle down to it being just us. But then other times, I’m just plain horny, and other guys really turn me on; and I wonder if we’ll be able to settle down.”

“Well, right now, I’m in the settle down mood,” I said.

“Yeah, well you got your rocks off, asshole. Now I’m in a horny mood. Maybe I’ll go look up Sammy.”

And then, the loneliness for Dan that I’d felt all week peaked; and I wanted him. Oh, not just physically; after all, I had gotten my rocks off. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to meet his need. I wanted him to touch my sore knee and tell me it would be alright. I wanted to sleep in his arms that night and not by myself.

I glanced at my watch. It was ten thirty. “If I leave for there right now, will you wait for me?” I asked.

“What about school tomorrow?” Dan asked, but I could tell from his voice that he liked the idea.

“So I’ll miss a morning class or two,” I said. “I’ll catch my afternoon classes.”

“Where will we go?” he asked. “My roommate will be back before long.”

“The Bronco, of course.”

. . . . .

Dan answered the door, bag in hand, when I knocked, and he stepped out, rather than letting me step in. “Motel,” he said quietly. Then he glanced at my cane. “You OK?”

“Yeah. Trevor’s mom made me keep ice on it and it’s better now. Just sore.”

“We need to get you off of that knee right away,” Dan said, but then turned quickly for the elevator.

“Why a motel?” I asked, following him. “We can just hang out in the Bronco until daylight. Then you can get to class and I’ll go back.”

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head. “I thought it over. You wouldn’t get much sleep and you’d be all worn out before we even started the weekend. What with your sore knee and all, I decided you needed to sleep in, in the morning. Besides, I’ll want to as well… especially since we aren’t going to be sleeping for a while yet.”

He smiled. The doors opened to the elevator, and I followed him in. “I decided we should really sleep in,” he continued. “I don’t have any classes I have to make tomorrow. I even called Lenny while you were driving up here.”

“You did?” I asked as the doors closed.

“Yep. I thought that if we were going to take the day off, I’d see if he needed our help getting the backhoe. We’re meeting him for lunch.”

“You’re a really nice guy sometimes, Mr. Reese,” I said, brushing shoulders.

He grinned, and pecked my cheek. “You’ve been worried about Lenny and this job. We might as well get a good start on the weekend.”

. . . . .

Dan was more than ready by the time we made it into the room. He had his clothes off before I got out of mine, and as soon as I pulled off my underwear, he had me on my back atop the bed.

As he settled on top of me, our cocks and balls making contact, he smiled, grinding in. “Touchdown,” he whispered.

“My favorite moment,” I replied, sliding my hands down his strong back to his firm butt. My eyes on his, and careful of my sore knee, I pulled my knees up and out for him to settle between. He did, pressing my balls back against my perineum with his. Our lips met and he started grinding harder as my mouth opened to his.

We synchronized the forward thrusting of our hips, pressing and holding at the end of each thrust. “Seany,” he whispered. “I think I feel a storm coming on.” He nuzzled behind my ear. “One of those… sexual storms,” he whispered.

Despite being tired and having gotten off earlier with Ken, my body responded, as did my heart. Peace — the peace of being in Dan’s arms, passed over me like a warm wave and all the knots in my spirit relaxed.

His hunger for me worked like a medicine, restoring me; making my world all right again. “Do you want in?” I asked, wanting to take care of him.

“I want you just like this,” he whispered, “all close and pressed together.” He grabbed my shoulders and rubbed Little Danny into me. I stroked his back lightly and suddenly his whole body tensed and shuddered.

“What was that?” I asked. “You didn’t come already?”

“Nah, just Seany overload,” he whispered. He covered my mouth with his and started circling his hips, grinding. I resumed stroking his back and suddenly, he tensed and shuddered again.

“You OK?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, pressing his cheek to mine. “I’m not sure what’s happening; just don’t stop stroking my back.”

So I kept stroking, and he kept shuddering. Eventually the shudders diminished and his thrusting grew more intense. I grabbed his butt and lifted my pelvis so that all our rubbing was in the perfect spot.

He came, and kept coming. The shudders returned and racked his body. I came as well and our bellies grew slick. Finally, he calmed and collapsed on me. “Oh, damn,” he whispered. “That was like one of those orgasms you have every once in a while. Maybe I’m catching it from you.”

“Maybe you were just really horny or really tired.”

“Or maybe,” he said, “just really in love.” He brushed his lips on mine. “Love makes it better Seany.”

I thought back on the week to my nights with Lenny and my afternoon tryst with Ken, and now, this time with Dan. I thought about the differences in them all. “Yeah,” I said, stroking the small of his back and feeling the weight of his belly, slick on mine. “Love makes it incredible.”

. . . . .

We talked about little things, while caressing and kissing. We grew sleepy, and I rolled to my side, snuggling back into him. Daniel slid one arm under my neck and the other over my waist and nuzzled in to the back of my hair. “I love you, Seany,” he whispered, and then gave the back of my neck a long, long kiss.

I took the hand he had over my waist and pulled it up to my chest, holding it close to me. “Sometimes my life gets all mixed up,” I said quietly. “Sometimes, really mixed up. But when I’m with you; when we’re like this, everything is perfect and right. I need you Dan. I’ll always need you.”

He held me close, cradling my body in his. “I need you, too, you know,” he whispered. “When I’m with you, it’s like my life goes from black-and-white to color.” He nuzzled the back of my neck. “You love people, Seany; that’s what you do. It’s in your nature. And when you focus all that love on me, I feel so good I could bust.”

“Maybe we will be able to settle down to just us… and Ry, of course… someday,” I said.

“Someday,” Dan agreed, and then chuckled. “But probably not this weekend. Not with your old flames Aaron and Jorge there, and your new flame, Lenny.”

“You don’t mind about Lenny?” I asked. “I… well…”

“Yeah, I know. You love him too, now. That’s just you, Seany. Falling in love all over the place. Just don’t ever fall out of love with me.”

“Not possible,” I said. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “As stubborn as you are, I believe it.” Then he whispered behind my ear. “Beloved.”

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