Jesse's euphoria lasted almost through dinner that night. But then, seated with his mother, younger sister and father - eating silently as usual - he began to worry again. What the hell was he thinking, what was he contemplating doing? How could he and Mike stay buds if they did this? Was Mike going to freak on him, would he still be his friend, what would his family think, what would the other guys think . . . he found his food suddenly unappetizing. He excused himself clumsily and locked himself in his room.
He stayed there most of the night, pacing, seeking solace (or at least distraction) in his guitar (his playing was frankly lousy), in the radio, in his Ipod, anything he could think of to pass time. Finally, around 10:30, he sat at his computer and logged into AIM, half hoping, half fearing that Mike would be on. He found a number of school and beach buds, and the next hour or so passed more pleasantly as they blabbed on about all sorts of inconsequential things, ragging on each other, speculating on tomorrow's swell, and generally goofing off.
It was nearly midnight when the message flashed on his screen: Hey dude I was hoping youd be here. Mike was online.
Jesse took a deep breath and typed: Sup
Nada - not sleepy
Same There was a pause that lasted perhaps two minutes; Jesse felt the need to say something but had no idea what. The other discussions faded to irrelevance. You there?
Ya Mike answered. so we set for tomorrow?
Sure, itll be cool
How far south do you go?
End of the park, hide the bikes, and walk maybe 20 mins south along the beach. Nice and quiet
Cool we'll skinny dip and shit
Lol I did that a little today and got my butt burned
LOLOL! How bad dude?
Not too, just a bit pink. I'm bringing coppertone tomorrow
Good idea you burn too easy
Yeah Mr skin cancer thats me Hehe
Another pause. I'm glad I saw you today
Me too I know I was gone a long time I thought maybe you thought I had gotten like weird
No dude no way Jesse answered quickly. I was afraid you thought that about me. Don't wanna lose my best bud. His fears were tumbling out now, the studied reserve of the teenaged boy crumbling. Mike I dunno what to do are we gonna still be cool with each other and all
Dude we're best buds. Nothing can change that. I just sorta lost my head there and Im sorry I don't want that shit to mess us up
Sorry, shit. I wanted it soooo bad when it happened Mike. That's what scares me
You want to do it again?
Now it was Jesse's turn to pause. But after a minute, the answer trembled off his fingertips: ya. He hit enter and waited.
Excellent came the reply, almost at once. So do I.
A great weight seemed to lift off Jesse; he felt like jumping around the room, the way he'd felt leaving Rivvy that afternoon. He typed in So 10 tomorrow right? At the lot by Carls Jr?
Be there Mike replied. Gotta book now, see ya
See ya
Jesse stared at the monitor for a while, a faint smile playing over his face. Then he shut everything down and slept soundly.
He took his time next morning deciding what to wear. He settled on a black Von Dutch T-shirt and his black board shorts, the ones with the orange and red piping down the sides. He showered for a long time, examining himself as he did so. That damn zit on my arm won't go away, and my legs are so fucking skinny . . . He dried himself, threw on perhaps a bit too much Axe, and loaded his towel,lotion, and beach chair on his bike.
It was just after 10 when he pedaled the last stretch of Camino Real to the Trestles lot by Carls Jr., at the south end of town up against the Marine base. It was its normal crowded summer scene: guys (mostly) of all ages coming and going, loading and unloading boards, donning or stripping off wetsuits. It was still cloudy and cool here by the beach - the fog wouldn't burn off till noon at least. Mike wasn't there, though, and he began worrying that maybe he'd gotten scared and blown it off. And I didn't bring my cell either . . .
About ten minutes later Mike came into view, pedaling furiously and waving. His cheeks were red from his exertion, and his breathing heavy. "Sorry I'm late dude. My mom got me."
Jesse smiled. " `S OK," he said. "Relieved you got here, y'know?"
Mike's smile warmed Jesse more than the sun up the hill had. "Ya. So let's do it."
Biking along past Trestles and into San O was easy, mostly flat, and they took their time. They spent most of the ride chatting idly about nothing in particular, making bad glow-in-the-dark jokes as they passed the nuclear plant, and smiling at each other over their shared secret. There weren't too many RVs or trailers in the park south of the plant, even for midweek. By the time they reached the southern end of the park, where a long gate arm halted car access further south, they were essentially alone. Jesse liked that.
They stashed their bikes near the gate arm, locking them against a fallen metal pole that was anchored in the ground and hidden by some brush. They unloaded and stood, looking at each other, nervous about the next move. They both knew that it was a major one. It seemed like an age before Mike said, in a strangely high voice, "So, let's go, right?"
"Right." There didn't seem anything else to say.
The path down the bluff was steep, diagonal, along a dry creekbed. They scrabbled down carefully until the gravel under their sandals turned to sand, then readjusted their loads and headed south, Jesse now in the lead. They walked in silence. They came to the area where Jesse had sat the previous day - where Ernie had seen him, and Jesse self consciously moved on past. They were a good mile below the path, only a bend or two before they'd be in view from the rest stop on the freeway, when Jesse slowed and looked about. The bluffs were sheer, heavily covered in bushes at the top. The beach had an inlet into the cliffside they could sit in without being seen from too far away up or down the beach. The fog was still thick here, and the chill felt good. Jesse moved up toward the bluff, set down his chair, and spread his oversized towel on the cool sand. Mike followed, overlaying his towel on Jesse's.
Again they paused, unsure of what to do. Mike broke the silence. "You better put some stuff on, the fog won't stop you from burning."
"Right," Jesse answered vaguely, reaching into the pocket of his chair for the Coppertone. He rubbed the lotion into his legs, arms, chest, belly, knowing that Mike was watching intently. The attention embarrassed and thrilled him at the same time. He started to reach around to his back, but Mike said, "Let me," and took over.
Mike squirted a glob of lotion onto the center of Jesse's back, making him cringe a bit from the cold. Then his hands - soft, warm, probing - rubbed him all over, from nape of neck to the top of his shorts. The rubbing was slow, careful, and Jesse didn't want it to stop. He could hear Mike breathing rapidly behind him, and realized he was gasping a bit himself. "So," Mike asked in that unnaturally high voice again, "did you burn your butt yesterday?"
Jesse laughed a little. "Not too bad." He took a breath, getting up the nerve for the next line. "Wanna see?"
"Sure," Mike said with a chuckle. Jesse turned to face him, untied his boardshorts and slid them down his belly until they hung at the top of his pubic hair. In back they rode on the upper edge of his buttocks.
He pulled one side down a bit further, showing Mike the point of his right hip. "See, not too bad. No big deal."
Mike reached out with one finger and pushed into the soft skin on his hip, watching the color return as he withdrew his fingertip. "You gotta slather up if we go naked here today."
Jesse smiled. "Ya, I will." He held up the lotion bottle. "Want me to do you?"
"Sure." Jesse stepped behind Mike, looking at his smooth and subtly muscled back, the V of his shoulders descending to his waist and into his shorts. He gulped in some extra air, squirted him square with the lotion ("Shit that's cold!!" "Payback dude, you did it to me.") and began rubbing it in.
Mike's back was soft, even with his swimmer's muscles beneath. The skin was velvety, tan, supple under Jesse's fingers. He rubbed the base of his neck, and Mike's head lolled forward a bit, as if getting a massage. His hands slid lower, feeling the lines of rib and spine, the softness below the ribs, the waist. He slid Mike's boardshorts down almost to his crack without being fully conscious of it, caressing the tight muscles of his torso base, the swelling toward his buttocks. He was hard as a rock, his breathing ragged. His hands slid around Mike's sides, onto his belly, and came to rest.
For a minute, neither moved. Then Mike slowly leaned back into Jesse, his head resting on Jesse's shoulder. "That felt good," he murmured, his dark hair tickling Jesse's throat. "You should earn a living doing massages." Mike's butt touched Jesse's tented-out shorts, and slowly pressed back against them. Jesse's hands slid a bit further around his friend. Mike inhaled sharply through his nose. "Shit dude, you use the whole friggin bottle of Axe?"
Jesse giggled and broke away, embarrassed. "Not the whole bottle, no," he answered, thinking how nice Mike's hair had smelled. "Just a splash and all."
"And all."
"Sorry."
Mike stepped towards him, a quiet smile on his lips. "I didn't say it wasn't nice." He stepped very close, their breathing and the world stopped, and he kissed him. Like before, it was a brushing, gentle kiss that lasted only a second or two. Jesse opened his eyes back up to see Mike still smiling, hovering just out of reach. This time it was Jesse who moved forward, brushing his lips more lingeringly against Mike's, and they both breathed in each other's odor. The last time they moved together, lips, arms and bodies, into a slow deepening embrace.
Jesse was conscious of so many more specific sensations this time - the texture of Mike's tongue against his, the tiny bit of fuzziness on Mike's upper lip, the roughness of his fingertips as they ran over his back, the furnace warmth of their chests together. Their hips moved against each other, pressing their erections sideways in their partially dropped boardshorts. Jesse's hand ran through Mike's hair, releasing a faint intoxicating aroma. He whimpered a little, and Mike responded by kissing him even deeper. Jesse's legs felt weak now, shaking, and he pulled back. "Dude, I gotta lie down."
"Me too." They stepped over to their towels, looked at each other a second, and by silent agreement pushed their boardshorts down to their ankles, stepping out of them onto the towels. They looked at each other's nakedness - the line of thigh and hip muscles, the tautness of pale bellies, their cocks. Jesse reached out slowly and took Mike's in hand, marveling at its strange combination of soft skin and steely hard tissue beneath. It felt incredibly warm. His hand moved over it, up and down, caressing, and Mike groaned. Jesse smiled at the notion that he could make him react like that, and moved his hand faster. Mike leaned into him, a hand on his shoulder, and grabbed Jesse's cock in turn. "Shit," Jesse muttered as the feelings shot through him. So that was why Mike was so intense. Their lips met again, moaning into each other's mouths, until they both flopped down onto the towels at once.
They intertwined there, kissing and stroking each other, discovering how to give and receive pleasure. Mike's first contact with one of Jesse's nipples sent Jesse into a spasm; Jesse found Mike's balls extremely sensitive. They rolled about with each other, exploring their bodies, learning their feelings.
Jesse lay beneath Mike, kissing his chest. He looked down and saw Mike's cock rubbing against his belly, above his navel. He was filled with a new desire, and slid lower, kissing the bare torso above him. As he did, Mike's cock slid further up his body, leaving a trail of clear liquid behind. Soon Jesse was kissing Mike's belly, and the erection was sliding along his throat. He took hold of it, looked down again at it, and nuzzled it against his cheek. Mike lifted up a bit to give Jesse access, and groaned. Jesse looked intently at the end of Mike's cock, at the drops sliding out and down the shaft, at the vein pulsing along the left side. He was terrified and exhilarated at the same time: Oh shit, what am I doing vied with Oh God, give it to me.
Then he leaned up a bit and took the head of Mike's cock into his mouth. It was warm, soft, and already wet. He tasted the fluid, decided he liked it. Mike was gasping for breath: "Oh shit, Jes, what're you doing?"
Jesse looked up at his flushed face and smiled. "What d'you think, asshole?" They both giggled a moment, but that faded when Jesse took him back into his mouth, more deeply this time, his tongue sliding over the length of Mike's shaft and pressing under the head. Mike gasped and his hips thrust forward. Jesse felt himself about to gag and pulled his head away. "Take it easy, dude, I don't wanna puke."
Mike was mortified. "Sorry. You OK?"
"Ya, just don't gag me too much OK?"
"K. Um, be careful of your teeth too, OK?"
Jesse laughed and made an elaborate chomping sound in the direction of Mike's cock. Mike laughed, pulled away a moment. But he came back, whispering, "Please do that again, Jes. It feels so good." And Jesse obliged, his hand sliding around Mike's hips as he started sucking in earnest. He found that by pretending to swallow he could take more of Mike's length into his mouth, and he extended his head back, opening his throat further. His hands gripped Mike's cheeks now, caressing his crack, which made Mike jerk even more violently. "Oh shit, Jes," Mike whispered, surrendering to the feelings, and they moved together, Jesse's nose nestling into Mike's pubic hair with each stroke, the pale belly pressing against his face again and again as he thrust, until Mike's movement sped up and he began shaking. "Gonna come dude," he grunted, and Jesse wondered for an instant what to do.
Before Jesse could make up his mind, Mike shoved himself deep into his mouth, making Jesse's eyes water, and came. Jesse felt jets of fluid hitting the back of his throat, he swallowed instinctively to keep himself from choking, Mike was whinnying high and clear with each spasm, and the spurts kept coming and coming. Finally, Mike sagged forward, his belly and chest heaving, and he rolled off Jesse onto the towel, struggling to catch his breath. He leaked semen across Jesse's face as he moved away.
Jesse swallowed one more time and ran his tongue around the corners of his mouth. The taste was salty, musky, thick. He decided he liked it - a lot. He lay on his back, staring upward at the thinning clouds, the sun now visible as a faint veiled disc. He wanted to stop everything right where it was - the clouds, the wind, the ocean breaking quietly near them, the cries of the seagulls. He wanted everything to stay in position so he could take it all in, remember it forever. He took a deep breath, and realized he had a hair stuck somewhere on the middle of his tongue. He idly reached into his mouth and picked it off, holding it up for examination. It was Mike's, of course - thick, curly, almost black. He chuckled to himself.
"Oh Christ, Jes," Mike whispered, rolling over to embrace him. "What'd you do to me?"
Jesse looked over. Mike's eyes were hooded in deep repose, he was smiling stupidly. His long lashes cast tiny shadows onto the tops of his cheekbones. Jesse was seized with deep feeling, and he pulled Mike into an embrace. "I just sucked you off, of course," he whispered, and kissed him. Mike's tongue shot into Jesse's mouth, seeking the taste of his own semen. Mike's hands caressed him gently.
It was when Jesse moved his hips against Mike that he realized how hard he still was - the touch of Mike's skin against his erection made him shudder. "Oh man," he whispered, more to himself than anything else, "I am sooo hard."
Mike looked up. "Aw shit, Jes, I'm sorry. I - I didn't mean to be - like I thought you'd - "
"It's OK," Jesse laughed, amused at Mike's concern. "I had a great time too."
"Yeah, but - " Mike smiled at him devilishly. "I owe you, right?"
Jesse laughed aloud. "Sure, I guess. If you want."
"Oh yeah, I want." Mike rolled Jesse onto his back and kissed him, first on the lips, then the throat, working his way slowly down Jesse's body as Jesse had done for him. The feelings were indescribable for Jesse, and he squirmed and bucked wherever Mike's lips and tongue touched him. "Fer Chrissake, Jes, hold still," Mike giggled, looking up from just below Jesse's ribs. "You'll break my friggin' nose."
"Sorry," Jesse panted, spreading his legs more so Mike could slide downwards easier. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched, his eyes scrunched up from the intensity of the feeling, as Mike kissed his way down his lower belly and took his cock in his hand. He looked closely at the the head. "You're already all wet," he observed.
"Yeah, I sort of leak. So did you," he added quickly, not wanting it to seem weird.
"No, I know." Mike ran a fingertip along Jesse's slit, gathering a large drop of the fluid, and tasted it. "It doesn't really taste like anything."
"No, it - it's pretty cool though. All of it."
"I know." Mike dropped his head for a moment so his forehead rested on Jesse's pubic hair, his cheek against Jesse's cock. "You smell good," he whispered. "I didn't think it'd smell so good."
Jesse nodded. "You smell really good too - down there."
Mike looked up at him and smiled. "Well, here goes," he said, and he licked the underside of Jesse's cock from the base all the way up to its swollen head, slowly. Jesse's face tightened, he struggled to keep his head up to watch. "Oh Christ," he groaned.
Mike stopped and smiled again at him. "Told ya." Then he lowered his head and carefully took Jesse's cock into his mouth, and Jesse dropped back onto the towels with a gasp and lost all control.
He knew that he moaned loudly, whimpered, cried out. He knew that his body writhed beneath Mike, his hips seeming to obey their own physical laws. He knew his eyes lost their focus, and his breathing became labored. His hand fell onto Mike's head and tangled in his hair. How long he lasted he couldn't tell; it seemed endless and yet far too short. His body began to tighten, coiling, his shoulders lifted up off the towels. "Oh God Mike I'm - I'm gonna -" and an approving groan from Mike sent vibrations through his loins, adding to the feelings, as he would up and exploded with his orgasm. He vaguely heard Mike gulping as he shuddered again and again, feeling like his whole insides were coming out of him through his cock. It was pleasure to such a level that it became painful, he begged for it to stop but it wouldn't, he spasmed and spasmed until he lost all strength and fell limp on his back, his cries slowly diminishing as he drifted off for a time.
It was a minute, or maybe an hour later, when Mike climbed up atop him and Jesse opened his eyes. Mike was a mess. His hair was hopelessly tousled, there were blotches of semen in it and about his face, with a fairly significant drool running from one corner of his mouth down his chin and throat. Jesse squinted his eyes to see more clearly against the glare of the thinning clouds above Mike's head, and started to laugh. "What?" Mike asked. "What?" This only made Jesse laugh harder, his head back, roaring with triumphal glee.
Mike started to laugh too. "Asshole!" he cried, and dug at Jesse's ribs. They started wrestling around for a few seconds, but Jesse was in no shape for such activity. Mike quickly pinned him, arms above his head. "Now what the fuck are you laughing at??"
"I love you," Jesse said before he had any idea what to say, and then he was kissing Mike, taking the blotches off his cheeks and chin with his lips, his tongue, sharing his own taste with him as they rolled now in a different sort of contest. They both became smeared with come, its taste and smell seemed to be everywhere, and Mike hardened against Jesse's stomach.
They finally came to rest on their sides, their kiss trailing off into soft sweeps of lips against each other. They looked at each other with crookedly happy smiles. Their movements and breathing slowed.
"So," Jesse asked quietly, his face suddenly serious. "Does this mean we're faggots now?"