'A Second Chance' Chapter 17
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the people mentioned in this story and I am not implying anything about their sexuality or personal beliefs. Everything I write is purely fiction. If you are too young to be reading this, please leave. If you are offended by homosexual material, I suggest you don't read this.
Hello Everyone. I know, I know. Not only did I leave you on a cliffhanger, I also made you wait ages for this chapter. I can be so evil ::grin::.
There is one more thing I have to do. I have to recommend a story. I stumbled upon this a few days ago, and I spent hours on end in front of my computer to read the whole thing. It's absolutely wonderful. The story is called 'Studio in the Country' and the author is the very talented Michael. If you have some free time, go check it out.
And now, without further ado, I present chapter 17.
The sunlight was streaming into the room, bathing it in an eerie, yellow glow. It shone brightly onto the king-size bed in one corner of the room. The bed was messy, the sheets had fallen to the ground and the pillow was at the foot of the bed rather than the head. In the middle of that mess, lay a sleeping figure. The blond hair was damp and plastered to the young man's forehead. His whole body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He was shivering, and low moans escaped his lips every once in a while.
Brian was sitting next to the bed, watching Nick sleep. He had carried his unconscious friend up to his room last night while Justin had moved in with JC and AJ. Nick had woken up once during the night, but was disoriented and fell back asleep immediately. Brian sighed. It was almost ten am, time to wake Nick up. He leaned over to touch Nick's shoulder and gently shook him. Slowly, Nick began to stir.
Nick had been awake for some time, but had pretended to be asleep. He was never much of a morning person, but today he dreaded getting up even more then usual. Despite the nausea and the throbbing pain in his head, it had taken him all but ten minutes to remember what had happened last night, and another ten seconds to realize that he was in deep trouble. How could he have been so stupid? Sure, there was the alcohol, but no matter how drunk he had been, he shouldn't have kissed that girl.
But now the damage was done and he'd have to find a way to apologize to Justin. He tried to open his burning eyes, but immediately squeezed them shut again. It was just too bright in the room, and the light had worsened his headache. He cursed under his breath.
"A hangover. Serves you right, you know. " Brian shook his head in disbelief. He could, on some level, understand why Nick had done what he had done. But on another level Brian was as angry as Justin was.
"And a good morning to you too." Nick grumbled. He tried to sit up in his bed, but after every movement he had to stop for a second to let his stomach settle. Finally, he was sitting up and he even managed to open his eyes.
"Do I look as shitty as I feel?" Nick asked. Brian couldn't help but smile.
"Yes, darling. Do you want some water?" Nick just glared at him.
"If you weren't my best friend, I'd probably kill you right about now." He threatened. Brian smiled again and got up to get some water. Nick sipped is slowly,
"Brian, how's Justin taking it?" He asked in a small voice. Brian shook his head.
"Not very well. I talked to JC this morning, and he said that Justin cried all the way home and then cried himself to sleep at around 5am. He's really hurt and disappointed." Brian said. Nick closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply. The room started to spin and for a second he thought he was going to throw up. Then the feeling subsided. There were tears welling up in his eyes. Brian reached down and pulled his friend into a tight hug.
"What am I supposed to do now? He must hate me! I feel so terrible. How could I do something like this?" Nick whispered in between sobs. Brian didn't know what to say to comfort Nick.
"You should talk to him, explain things." Brian offered. Nick nodded.
"I know. I have to talk to him." Nick said. He got up slowly and made it to the bathroom. Brian followed him.
"You gonna be okay?" he asked.
"Yeah. I'm gonna take a shower and then I'll go and talk to him. We have to work this out. I couldn't live without him." Nick said, his voice firm. But the look in his eyes said more than the apparent confidence of his words. He was terrified that he had just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Just fifteen minutes later, Nick was freshly showered and clad in gray sweatpants and a tight fitting white T-shirt. His hair was still wet and he was rubbing it dry with a towel. The nausea was gone, and only a dull pain in the back of his head reminded of his hangover.
"Brian, I'm leaving." He yelled into the general direction of the bathroom, were Brian was standing in front of the mirror, shaving.
"Good luck." Brian yelled back. Nick nodded and pulled the door shut behind him.
A few feet down the hall, he stopped in front of what he knew to be AJ and JC's room. He knocked on the door. JC opened.
"Nick. What a nice surprise. Haven't you done enough damage already?" JC's voice was cold, unfeeling. It hit Nick like a fist.
"JC, please, I know I screwed up. But I need to talk to Justin." Nick pleaded. JC's expression didn't change. He was just about to throw the door shut when Justin appeared behind him.
Nick gasped when he saw Justin. His face was deathly pale, while his eyes were red from crying and rimmed with dark circles that bore witness to his lack of sleep. His whole body seemed strangely empty and vacant.
"Josh, let him in." Justin said, his voice tired and void of emotion. JC stepped back, although unwilling, and let Nick enter.
Justin led Nick into the living room of the suite and sank down on the couch. Nick sat down next to him. JC stayed by the door, far enough away to not overhear their conversation, but still close enough to be able to 'rescue' Justin if necessary.
Nick closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and began to talk.
"Justin, I know that 'sorry' doesn't even begin to undo any of the damage that I did last night. But I don't know what else to do, other than to tell you how sorry I am and how much I regret what I did." Nick interrupted his speech to look into Justin's eyes, waiting for a reaction.
"You could explain to me why you would do something like that. I thought you loved me." Justin's voice had an accusing tone to it.
"I do love you. But last night I was talking to Brian about coming out to the public, and it made this relationship so complicated. The fact that I am gay and in love with another man seemed to put all these obstacles in my way and I just wanted to be straight. That thought plus the alcohol...but I know it's not an excuse." Nick had tears in his eyes now.
Justin got up slowly. All the sadness and pain was gone now and left was anger. He was trying to contain it, but he lost control and the angry words spilled out.
"That's what I am to you? A complication? How can you say that you love me when you wish that you didn't?" He spat out, his eyes glowing.
"But that's not what I meant. I didn't say that you are the complication. I meant my being gay. I love you with all my hear, you're the best thing in my life." Nick said hastily, in an attempt to calm Justin down.
But to no avail.
"If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have said it. If I'm an obstacle that's keeping you from living a 'normal' life, there's only one thing for me to do. I'm stepping you of your way." Nick gasped.
"You can't...you don't mean that..." His voice trailed off, interrupted by the tears.
"That's exactly what I meant, Nick. We're through, over, finito. I'm breaking up with you." As soon as he had finished speaking he ran over to the bedroom and locked himself in. JC sent a death glare at Nick, then ran after his friend.
Nick got up and left the room, not even consciously knowing that he was doing that. His body was moving on it's own while his mind was somewhere suspended in outer space. Then, when he was standing out in the hallway, reality crashed down on him like an enormous flood. His legs turned into rubber and he sank to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.
An hour later, he was still sitting there, in the hallway in front of JC's room. The tears had stopped flowing by now for there weren't any left. He felt numb all over. He didn't even realize when Brian approached him and sat down next to him.
"That bad?" Brian asked in a soft voice. It took Nick a while to notice that Brian was speaking to him, but then he finally did.
"He broke up with me." Nick whispered. There was a kind of eternal sadness in his voice, and it made him sound incredibly old. Brian put his arm around Nick.
"Maybe talking isn't your strength. You'll find a way to get him back, Nicky. I know you will. The two of you are meant to be." Brian said firmly. But secretly he doubted his own words. -------------------------------- There ya go again. Another cliffhanger. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. And never fear.... I promised a wedding and you're gonna get one. Take care, j