Before I get into the story, let's get the legal stuff out of the way. I am above the age of 18 at the time of writing this story. I own all rights to this story. Any likeness in name or actions to any of the characters in this story with someone in real life are purely coincidental. If it is illegal for you to read/view something like this in your area, you should leave now. This story includes scenes of male/male sex with high school aged men. If this is considered offensive, you should, once again, leave. If nothing else, then read my excerpt, and enjoy.
This is the third installment in my Secret Admirer series. I am developing my characters a little more with each chapter, and I feel like they are starting to become relatable. I have a few surprises in this installment. Some of which you may like, others in which you may not. As always, I would love to hear your feedback. Onced again, let me remind you that I am my own editor. Any mistakes you find, let me know. I would greatly appreciate it. Now, enjoy this installment.
Secret Admirer-3 Decisions
I couldn't help but think about my fears while running with Talan. Sure, the notes were beautiful, at least to me, and I felt special when I read them, but my new found fears were keeping me from seeing the good side. I started thinking to myself, `First off, this "Secret Admirer" must really be paying close attention to me if he or she knows where I live. That in itself is unnerving. Second, what have I done to make this person love me so much. The only people that I openly show affection to at school are my friends, but it couldn't be one of them. Could it?
`I know it isn't Talan, he would have told me already. That's just the type of guy he is. It could be Brad. He was so quick to offer his "services" to me. That could have been him trying to tell me something. It could also be Matt. I haven't talked to him about sexual stuff, like I had with Brad, but, according to Brad, he is just as sexual as Brad is. However, as far as I know, only Talan and Brad know I'm gay. That leaves it open to the girls in the group as well.'
Talan must have noticed my distraction because he started speaking. "Natty, what's wrong? You aren't talking my ears off like usual."
"Oh, I'm just thinking' about some things, T. Nothing too serious."
"The Secret Admirer?"
Damn, can everyone I come in contact with read minds? "Yeah. How'd ya know?"
"Well, I can read you like a book Natty. Don't think about it too much. Just let things fall where they may. You could end up with this person. You never know."
"I guess you're right. Thanks, T."
"Yup. So, you know who the new people are?"
"Huh?"
He pointed to a house up the street that had a moving truck parked on the sidewalk. "That house. Know who lives there now?"
"No. Why should I?"
"Well, you usually know things like that before anyone else. Let's go introduce ourselves. Shall we?"
"I guess. I swear, you rag me about always knowing the inside scoop, but you are just as curious as I am."
"Yeah, yeah. Come on. Let's find out who your neighbors are."
"Not really my neighbors, but let's go."
We slowed our run to a walk in order to calm our breathing to a normal pace. As we approached the front door, this gigantic man walked through it. He had a smile on his face as he walked towards us. With an outstretched hand, he began speaking in a very deep, sexy voice. I was turned on.
"Hi boys. The name is Fynn. What can I do you for?"
"Hi. My name is Nathan and this is my best friend Talan. We noticed that someone was moving in, so we decided to come by and introduce ourselves."
"Well, that is mighty kind of you. So, do you boys go the Windsor?"
"Oh, no." Talan responded. "We wouldn't be caught dead there. They are our rivals."
"Ah, So you two must go to Branton. That is where I am sending my boys."
"Um, are you by chance Fynn Masterson?" I asked.
"That's me." He smiled.
"Oh, well then we know one of your sons."
"Ah, let me guess. Kellen?"
"Yes sir."
"That boy is always making sure everyone knows who he is. Always has to be the center of attention. He sure has kept me on my toes as a parent, I'll tell you that."
Just as he finished, Kellen came through the door. I was surprised to say the least. "Kellen, you put blue in your hair? Why?"
"Oh, I just thought it would change my appearance some. Maybe keep you from drooling on me."
"Patrick, that's enough, son. Don't play games with these boys."
"Sorry, dad. Sorry, guys. I'm Patrick, not Kellen."
"Damn, when he said twin, it didn't even register with me. Y'all look exactly alike. Except for the hair."
"Well, take out the blue, and the fact that mine is straightened right now, and we would look exactly alike."
"Ahh, well that's cool. You straighten your hair?" Talan looked very curious about that.
"Yeah, I do. All the ladies love it."
"Do you like it Nate?" Kellen asked as he practically ran through the door of the house.
"Yeah, it looks good. Not sure if I would ever do something like that, but I definitely like the way it looks." Three sets of eye brows popped up when I said that: Kellen's, Fynn's, and Talan's.
Patrick blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Thanks. Uh, I got some work to do. See ya, guys." Patrick ran back inside. It was my turn to blush.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass your brother like that. I just...err...liked his hair."
"It's okay. Sometimes Patrick is such a girl."
"Kellen, watch it. You know I do not tolerate name calling of any kind."
"Sorry, dad. Anyway, y'all wanna come in and talk or anything?" Kellen queried with a smile on his face.
"Actually, we were sorta out for a run. Next time." I said.
"Okay, but can I talk to you a minute Nate?" Kellen asked with the smile he had now gone.
"Sure. Let's talk."
We walked away from the Fynn and Talan for a little privacy. I didn't know what we were talking about, but I was going to listen, regardless. When he took me around the corner of the house, I saw this really nice truck. I have always had a thing for trucks. This one was my ideal one. It was a new model GMC Sierra. It was white, and it was lifted. The lift wasn't outrageously high either. It was just right. I think at some point I popped a boner. Like I said, I love trucks.
"Who's truck is that?" I asked.
"Oh, you mean Frosty? He's mine." Kellen replied with a smile.
"This is your truck?" I asked with no effort to hide my shock.
"Yeah. Why?"
"That is so fuckin' hot. Like seeing this truck has me all worked up."
"Really?" He glanced from my eyes to the tent I was starting to sport. "I guess you have a thing for trucks, huh?"
I adjusted myself. "You have no idea." I realized that my "adjusting" was slowly turning into light stroking. I quickly blushed. "Sorry. Uh, what were we gonna talk about?"
"Oh, I just wanted to see if you decided on plans for Friday yet."
"Yeah, I figure we could go see that Nick and Norah something or the other. It looked pretty funny. Plus, the soundtrack is bitchin'."
"Ah, sounds like a plan. Anywhere in particular you wanna eat?"
"Not really. You just pick somewhere, I'll eat whatever."
"Okay. One more thing though. Most of the time, when I go on a date with a closeted guy, they wanna pay for their own movie ticket and food, or whatever. I am gonna go ahead and tell you, its not gonna happen this time. I am paying for both. We clear?"
"Well, I already assumed you were. You asked me out, so naturally you are doing the paying. Like I said, I'm no cheap date. You must not have been paying attention."
"Oh, I heard you loud and clear, and I am glad we are on the same page. Most guys get all upset about it. Chivalry might be dead to some, but to me it still exist, and there ain't no way in hell I would ever let my date pay for himself."
"Well, that is mighty old-fashioned of you Kellen. I like that in a man. I gotta go, but I'll text you later. Okay?"
"Sure thing, but before you go, do you think, uhh..." He started blushing and playing with his hands.
"Think what? Spit it out."
"You think maybe I could hug you? I know its kinda forward of me, but that's all I want. Promise."
"A hug? Damn, don't even ask. Get over here." I reached towards him and pulled him into a hug. I felt him take a deep inhale, and then I felt something hard brush against my leg.
"Thanks. I'll talk to you later." He said as he pulled away from me with a big smile plastered on his face.
"Alright, later."
I walked back over to where Talan and Fynn were. Talan and I said our goodbyes, and then we were running back towards my house.
"So, what did loverboy want to talk about?" Talan asked while smiling.
"Tally, stop it. And nothing really. Just some clarification on our date."
"And that's why he came around the corner with a big ol' grin on his face?"
"No, that was because I blew him before I left."
Talan stopped dead in his tracks. I turned around and looked at him, and he looked like he did the night his mom died. "You gave him a blow job?"
"No, Talan. Of course not. You should know better than that. I am definitely not casual with sex. I mean, I am still a virgin."
Talan's face brightened, and he started running again. "Okay, good. I didn't wanna have to whoop your ass."
"Yeah, I would have liked to have seen that one."
"Yeah yeah. Anyway, why did he look like a little kid on Christmas morning?"
"I dunno. I guess cause I gave him a hug."
"A hug?"
"Yeah. He asked me for a hug, and he was def being all prude like about it. I think I may have given him the wrong impression of me. I'm no whore, but I am also no saint. I don't mind a quick game of grab ass now and again."
"Well, Nathanial, needless to say I am shocked," Talan said with mock-surprise in his voice.
"Yeah, I have that effect on a lot of people. Anyway, you should have seen his truck. Shit, dude, it literally gave me wood."
"Really? That nice?"
"My fuckin' dream truck, dude. Legit."
"Damn. I wish I would have seen it. You know how I am about trucks."
"The same way I am. Like, the fact that he drives it makes him all the more appealing."
"Hmm, I bet. Anyway, I'll race your fat ass home."
"Fat ass? That's kinda mean."
"Well, you do have a fat ass. Fat and juicy, like I likes em." Talan replied wirh a good deal of laughter.
"Look, just because I am gay, doesn't mean you have an ass pass."
Talan broke out in hysterics. "Dude, that was the funniest thing I've heard all day. `Ass pass,' you come up with that yourself? Fuckin' hilarious."
"Yeah, anyway, let's get the race started."
We pushed our run into high gear. I was in the lead, what else is to be expected.
The next morning, I was woken up by some sounds in my room at about 5:30. I was still sleepy as hell, and being woken up that early pissed me off. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Oh, sorry Natty. I didn't mean to wake you. I just have early conditioning this morning, and I have to get to it. I'm sorry for waking you."
"Since when do you do early conditioning? You never have before."
"It fits my schedule better. Gives me more time to have a little fun."
"Alright, well I am going back to sleep. Don't forget to call me at 7. You know I won't wake up to that stupid alarm clock."
"Alright, Natty. I'll call you then. Just go back to sleep."
"Have a good time at conditioning. If that's even possible."
"I'll try. Laters."
He left the room, and I could feel sleep take me again. The next thing I knew, I heard the chorus of my favorite song. I groaned. I reached for my phone, and sliding it without looking, I said, "Talan, what do you want?"
"Damn, you are so grumpy in the mornings. It's 7. Wake up grouch ass."
"Yeah yeah. Thanks. See you in a bit."
"Hopefully in a better mood." With that, he hung up.
I got up from the bed, and stood there for a moment scratching my head. I adjusted my hard-on, and then stepped into the hall to see if dad had left me the sports section yet. As I was turning to go back into my room, I noticed the light on in my brother's room. He was supposed to be at school in Atlanta. I knew my parents weren't in his room, so it had to be him. I smiled broadly as I walked towards his door. I knocked.
"What?" A voice called. It was the very groggy voice of my brother.
"Tris? Can I come in?"
"Yeah, Nate. Come on."
I opened the door, and I smiled even bigger. My brother was in his bed, in the pajama pants I made him in home ec(don't ask), and turned to face me with a sleepy smile on his face.
"So, Tristan, you just gonna lay there, or are you gonna show me some love, bro?"
"Nathan, its way too early. If you want some love, getcher ass over here and get it yourself."
I walked over to the bed, bent down, and gave my brother a hug. It was the first time I had seen him since he left for school in August. In fact, him leaving added to the void in my life that led to my incident. We had always been really close, and it was so good to see him.
"So dad told me that you finally confessed to be being gay," he said while we were still in our hug.
"What do you mean `finally'?" I asked as I pulled away from him.
"Did he not tell you when I stumbled across those sites?"
"You stumbled across them?"
"Yeah. I was trying to show dad some stuff on Auburn, and as soon as I hit the `a' key, a certain webstie popped up in the history suggestions. Dad confronted me on the spot. Asking me if I was gay, and what not. I simply said that those were your sites, and that I forgot to clean up your forgotten mess."
I stood there wide-eyed for a minute, and then I asked the first thing that popped into my mind. "How long have you known?"
"Oh, I think you were a freshmen when I first saw your browser history wasn't deleted. If we are being honest, I had a nice jerk to that site myself. Doesn't do that much for me now, but then, seeing something so different than what I was used to, got me horned up."
"Wait, you jerked to gay porn?"
"Yeah. Once or twice. Experimented a little this past semester. Ya know, taking college for everything its worth."
"You've done stuff with a guy?"
"Well, I figured if I was going to do a little, I should just go ahead and go all the way. Probably not something I'll get into, but I can def see where the interest comes from. It was...pleasant."
"I def wanna hear about that later. For now, though, why are you back? And why the hell haven't you called me in almost a month?"
"Well, Nathanial, for your information, I had no idea what to say to the person that practically made me go out of my mind with misery."
"What?"
"Yeah, when you attempted suicide, I was fucking beside myself. I didn't eat for three days, Nathan. Three fucking days! Forgive me if I found it a little hard to talk to you!"
I had tears in my eyes as I moved to sit beside him on his bed. "I'm sorry. I really wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. I would never hurt you intentionally. You know that."
He pulled me into another hug. This time, it was much tighter than the one before. "Listen, Audi"--a nickname he only used when he wanted to make sure I knew he cared about me-- "You know I love you. We are tighter than most brothers. I just want you to know that if you ever try something like that again, you better finish the job. Otherwise, I will be doing it for you. I don't ever wanna feel pain like that again, if I can avoid it. When dad called me, all I heard was your name and `commit suicide'. I hit the floor, right as I was walking out of my biology lab. I didn't even know until hours later that he was telling me you tried to commit suicide. He wouldn't let me drive up here. I just found out your situation through phone calls with Talan, who never left the hospital. After three days, when you were finally awake on a more permanent bases, I was convinced you were going to be okay, and that's when my anger set in."
"Is that why you didn't call me? You were angry with me?"
"No and yes, but mostly I was angry with myself. I should have sensed what was wrong with you."
"Well, no one can sense when someone is ready to take their own life. Anyway, enough about that. How is school going?"
"Nate, you have to get ready for school. We can talk later. You are getting on my nerves right now. I want some damn sleep!"
"Okay, sorry I was born! I won't bother you again!"
When I said that, he pulled me into another hug. "Don't ever be sorry you were born! Mom and dad aren't and neither am I! Just go to school, and we will talk after you get home from practice. I love you, baby brother."
"Yeah, yeah. I love you too. I'll see you tonight."
With that, I left his room, and walked back into mine. I glanced at my clock and realized that I had spent too much time talking to him, and I would have to rush to get ready. I took a very quick shower. I got out, brushed my teeth, towel-dried my hair, applied some deodorant, and ran to my drawers for something to wear. I pulled some sweatpants out of my drawer, threw on one of Tristan's old cross-country shirts that I long ago claimed as mine, and reached for my lettermen's jacket. I grabbed my book bag, found my keys, wallet, and cell phone, put my watch on, and headed for the door. As I was leaving the room, I reached for my Axe body spray, and gave myself a little once over. As I passed the hall mirror, I glanced into. I saw that my hair looked like shit, but I would worry about that in the car.
I raced down the back stairs into the kitchen. I hurried into the pantry and quickly grabbed a pop-tart, and was hoping for a speedy exit after that. As soon as I left the pantry, I was greeted by Tristan, once again.
"Oh, boy hunting today? That why you all dressed up?" He laughed.
"Fuck off. I'm gonna be late."
"Yeah. I remembered when you left my room that I have you boxed in. Take my truck, and give me the keys to your car."
"Okay. Thanks. Love you."
"Love you too."
With that, I was out the door. As soon as I got to where our cars were, I felt that familiar stirring in my crotch. I forgot how much I loved my brother's truck. Red Ford F-150, 4 door, extended cab, with a nice lift on it. Definitely boner material in my opinion. I unlocked the doors and climbed in. When I turned the keys in the ignition, and the engine roared to life, I went rigid. Nothing I could do about that then, though, so I was off too school.
I was sitting down talking to Stacy, after having made it to school a lot earlier than I expected, when a very terrible looking Averie Bonabre came up to us. Averie is Talan's girlfriend. She has been for almost 2 years, and she looked the most terrible I have ever seen her. She has definitely been crying, and she looks like she could start again at any moment.
"Nathan, can I speak with you, please?" Averie asked me.
"Sure. What's up?"
"Alone," She responded while looking at Stacy.
"It's okay, Nate. I think I just saw Mike pull in anyway. I'll see you in calc, babes."
"Okay. Bye, love." I call after Stacy as she starts to walk away. I turn my attention back to Averie. "So, what's up?"
"Talan broke up with me." She then started crying. I could tell it wasn't the first time that had happened since she found herself single.
I put my arms around her. "I'm sorry Averie. Why?"
It took her a minute to answer my question. As soon as she regained her composure, she began to talk. "He said something about never really loving me. I don't really remember. As soon as he told me it was over I started crying."
"I am so sorry. However, if he made the decision, I will have to stand behind him. You know that, right?"
"Yeah. I was just hoping you could find out why for me. He tells you everything Nathan. Can you please find out why?"
"Sure thing. I will ask him, and then text you tonight."
"Thank you. You really are one of the coolest people I know."
"I don't know about all of that, but you are welcome. I have got to get my books from my locker before the bell rings, but I will text you tonight." With that I pulled her into a side-hug and then I left to go to my locker.
When I got to my locker, I half-expected, half-hoped there would be a secret admirer note inside. However, there was not one. I was a little disheartened, but I decided that I got three in one day, so I guess I should be happy. I got my book, closed my locker, and headed for first block.
Mr. Smith was getting up from his desk to collect homework when the door burst open.
"Sorry I'm late Mr. Smith. I had some stuff to attend to." Kellen said as he rushed towards his seat.
"Very well, but don't make a habit of it." Mr. Smith responded with a hint of irritation in his voice.
Just then, the door opened again. This time, it was Talan. For a minute, my world stopped. I looked at him, and I was literally breath taken. While he looked normal, I couldn't help but think that he had done something to alter his appearance, and it had somehow made him that much more appealing. As I studied him, he moved his head to get his hair out of his eyes, and I finally realized what he had done.
"Sorry I'm late, Mr. Smith. I had to call my dad in the office. They said they sent you an email."
"Yes they did, Mr. Ivory. Please take your seat."
Talan took his seat next to me, and I looked over at him. He flashed me my smile, and I felt my hands start to sweat. After Mr. Smith started his lecture, and began writing on the board, Talan put a note on my desk.
Talan: Dude, guess what.
Me: What?
Talan: I am finally a free man!
Me: I know. Averie came up to me and asked me about it. She is really torn up dude.
Talan: Yeah, I know, but me and you have talked about this before.
Me: I know. I just wished you would have told her a year ago.
Talan: Yeah, but hey, I don't love her. I have got to keep myself open.
Me: Yeah, so what's with the straightened hair?
Talan: What? You don't like it?
Me: No, I do like it. It looks great! Just wondering why the change?
I really wanted to tell him that it makes him look all the more beautiful.
Talan: Well, you said it looked cool on Patrick. I figured I would try it out. Looks like I am not the only one with that idea.
Me: Who else?
Talan: Ole lover boy over there.
I glanced up and looked at Kellen. Talan was right; his hair was straightened as well. He looked rather hot with straightened hair. Not as good as Talan, but I was definitely not complaining. Since, I couldn't have Talan, Kellen was definitely a nice consolation prize. This only made it better.
Me: I didn't even notice until now. It looks hot on him.
Talan: Anyway, why was your brother back?
Me: I don't know. We talked about other things.
Talan: Oh, well, keep the note this time. We will talk at lunch.
I was in the lunchroom when Brad came running in. I couldn't help but think about how good he looked. At 5'7", he was a shorter guy, but that kind of turned me on. He had black hair which he kept shaved, except for the small amount of hair going down the center of his head in a Mohawk fashion. He was wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt which did nothing to show off his body that he worked so hard on in the gym. I was distracted by my thoughts when Brad started talking.
"Nate, Talan is in a fight in the quad!"
That was all it took. I jumped up from the table and ran towards the quad. I expected the worse. I knew I was going to find him get the living shit kicked out of him. When I got there, however, it was Talan who was beating the shit out of someone. I pulled him off of whoever he was beating, and held him back.
"Talan, calm down! You are going to hurt him!" I yelled in his ear as he strained against my arms.
"No, I won't calm down! This dickhead jumped me first, Natty! Let me finish him!"
"No! I am not letting you go until you calm down!"
"Let him go! I don't think he has it in him to finish this." It was then that I looked at the guy who Talan was pulverizing. It was Kellen! I was horrified.
"What did you do?" I said as I let go of Talan.
"Me? I was defending you!" Talan said. He then turned around and jumped on Kellen again. I pulled him off once more, and then I pulled him into a different hall. I met Brad there, and had him sit with Talan until I got back. I turned around and went back to find Kellen.
When I found him, Patrick was hovering over him. I pushed Patrick out of my way, and I pulled kellen to his feet. "What the fuck, Kellen?"
"Oh, I see, I get my ass beat, and you defend him?"
"Tell me what the hell happened."
"I was just telling Patrick about our date and Talan flipped his shit as he walked by."
"But you attacked him first?"
"Only because he was in my face. I don't deal well with that."
"Okay, well I am going to talk with Talan. As of now, we don't have plans until I get this situation sorted out."
"So you are cancelling on me just like that?"
"Well, I guess we still have plans, but I still need the whole story. I will call you tonight."
"Whatever. Later." He went over and grabbed Patrick by the hand, and they walked into the nearest bathroom. I turned around and headed back towards Talan.
When I got there, Brad was hugging Talan, and it looked like Talan could have been crying. I was really confused.
"Talan, what was all that about?"
He looked at me with hurt in his eyes. "Oh, I know that tone. You have already taken his side!"
"I have taken no sides. I am confused. Spill."
"I was walking by and overheard Kellen saying something to Patrick about your date. What he said, it pissed me off. I had to say something to him!"
"What did he say Talan?"
"He said, `Yeah Pat, he may play the prude part, but I will for sure be in his pants by the end of the night. Whether he wants to admit it or not, I know a whore when I see one.'"
I was floored! Kellen did think I was just a whore, and he planned on acting on it during our date! "He said that?"
"Yeah, he did. And then when you went to talk to him first, I just knew you were going to believe him and not me."
"Talan, why would I believe anyone over you?"
"I don't know, Natty. I just thought that when it came to your love life, that you wouldn't believe I had your best interest at heart."
"So, why are you crying then?"
"I wasn't crying, I was just upset. I thought I ruined our friendship, again."
"Well, as far as I'm concerned, you haven't ruined a damn thing. Thank you for defending me, but next time, let me fight my own battles. Now, let's get you to the bathroom and clean your knuckles. They are a little bloody."
We walked into the bathroom, and cleaned his knuckles. The bell rang, and we had to go to fourth block. I told Talan to go ahead, and that I would get his book for him. As I reached my locker, I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching me. I turned around, and looked, but everyone was minding their own business on their way to their classes. I brushed it off as me just being paranoid. When I opened my locker, another note fell out.
I decided to write you again
I planned on waiting until the dance
But now seemed like the best time
I don't want to trick you with words this time
I just wanted to tell you I love you
It is the truest emotion I have ever felt
Until we meet on the dance floor
Forever Yours,
Your Secret Admirer
I smiled to myself. This note had a truer feel to it. No hiding behind poems, just letting their feelings be known. I wished that all of them were like this. I closed my locker and then opened Talan's. To my surprise, a note fell out of his too. This note was not on the same type of paper as mine, so I knew it was not the same person, but I just couldn't help but feel like there was something strange about us both getting letters. My curiosity won out, and I decided to open it up.
Listen here you little bitch. You will not ruin my chance with him. Do you understand? I will make you look like a liar, and he wont believe anything you say! Best friend or not, I will win him over! Stay out of the fucking way!
I was confused. I figured this letter was about me, but I didn't know who wrote it. Also, why would they care what Talan thought? And why did they think he would be able to persuade me in my love life? All I knew was that I was really confused. I decided to put the note in his book, and tell him about it as soon as I get into class.
"Ah, Mr. Quincy, how nice of you to join us." Mr. Carden said as I made my way to my seat, 10 minutes late.
"Sorry, sir. I got held up at my locker. I had to get a book for a friend." I flashed a smile at Talan which was returned.
"Very well. Take your seat please."
"Thank you sir." I made my way to my seat next to Talan. I placed his book in front of him, but I placed it down opened. He saw the note, and then he looked at me for some kind of explanation. I just shrugged and acted like I did not know anything about it.
He pulled the note out of his book and read it. I could tell that he was getting angrier with each word he read. When he finished it, he read it again. I knew from the look in his eye that he was pissed. He looked over at me and started whispering.
"Nathan, who wrote this?"
"Honestly, I don't know."
"You sure?" He was giving me a very suspicious look.
"Talan, why would I lie to you about it? I know it concerns me. I am just as curious about it as you."
"Yeah, well we need to talk about this more. Meet me after practice."
"Okay."
I turned my attention back to the board and Mr. Carden's explanation about the day's topic, but I could not shake the uneasy feeling I was having. Why did he seem more like he was mad at me than the person who wrote the note? I had nothing to do with it! I left the room that day in a very confused state. My day was only going to get worse.
"Nathan, we are having a captain's meeting!" Tori, my co-head captain told me as soon as I entered the gym.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. It's just that Miiso has the flu and we have to find someone to fit his spot for the comp on Saturday."
"Well, just put Katie in his place. I mean it's not like having a guy as a flyer is that big of a deal. Katie will do fine."
"Oh Nathan, you know just as well as I do that he is the only reason we won state last year! Being co-ed is one thing. Having a guy as a flyer is something that is just not of the norm. The judges loved it!"
"Well, I still think Katie is going to be fine. We may not get the same points, but I mean what else can we do?"
"About that...look, this new Kellen kid, he is about the same size as Miiso. All we would have to do is give him a more solid spotter. He already showed me during yesterday's practice, which you missed, that he is very flexible, and he was able to do most of the things Miiso can do."
"We can't bring him on mid-season Tori. You know that." In all honesty, we really couldn't bring him in mid-season. However, I was actually very grateful for that. I didn't want to spend anymore time with Kellen until I had a chance to confront him about what Talan heard him say.
"Well, I already talked to Mrs. Buford, and she already talked to the NCA head out of Atlanta. As long as Miiso reclaims his spot when he is better, Kellen can come in as first flyer alternate. Which unfortunately makes Katie second alternate, and takes her off varsity."
I was pissed to say the least. "So, you did all of this without even consulting me? Who the hell do you think you are Tori? We are supposed to be partners!"
"I am doing what is best for this squad! You can calm the fuck down!"
"Yeah, well I am not okay with Katie losing her spot. I mean, she earned first alternate! How can you be so cool with taking that away from her?"
"I am not okay with it, but I want this squad to win. This is what we are doing, and that is final!"
"Tori, I am not okay with this at all. I will go along with it in an effort for us to win. However, you will not make any more decisions without me? I will call to have you removed, and you know everyone will side with me! Are we clear?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I know we are co-captains, but I had to take the initiative on this one. I hope you can understand."
"Yeah, I guess I understand. I will explain it to Katie if you don't mind. Now, as far as Kellen, he is a bit bigger muscle wise compared to Miiso. Who is going to be his spot for the single-base stunts? There is no way Larry could hold him. He struggles enough with Miiso."
"Well, that was the other thing I wanted to talk about. Even though we decided that we were going to be doing the tumbling passes during the stunts, we have to rethink it. You are the only one that could hold him up."
"Me? I don't do single man stunts!"
"Well, you are gonna have to start. Besides, the seniors are complaining about not being able to tumble, so I am giving our passes to them."
"Okay, just as long as this isn't permanent."
"It's not. Now let's get to practice. We have some reworking to do. The comp is Saturday after all."
"Alright, let's go. We will need to call a team meeting. We need to work on the reconfigurations."
As we were leaving the room we were meeting in, I could not help but think about how pissed I was. I had no intention of speaking to Kellen before I wanted to. Suddenly, I had to hold him up for the next two hours! I was not happy with this at all. It also did nothing to help me figure through my feelings about what Talan had in store for me in the parking lot. Before walking back into the gym, I walked over to my bag and sent Talan a text.
Me: Hey, I am gonna be a little late to meet you. Practice is probs gonna run over.
Talan: Alright, just don't leave me hanging. We have to talk.
I walked through the doors to the gym very confused. I didn't want to see Kellen, and yet there he was. I walked to join Tori in front of the squad.
"Okay guys, we have some changes. Jeri and Rick are going to be doing the tumbling pass. Kellen is going to take Miiso's place this week. These changes are only for the week, or until Miiso gets better. Now let's get to work." Tori did her little captain's speech, and right as everyone got up, I added what I needed to say.
"Don't forget our formations, guys! And Katie, I need to speak with you in private."
I was not happy at all with the way things transpired at practice. Katie was heartbroken, and she even cried when I told her the news. The poor girl was the only freshmen to make it on the varsity team, even if just as an alternate. Then I had to deal with Kellen. To say I was uncomfortable is an understatement. Just the way I had to grab him to do any stunts made me want to cringe. I was extremely angry with him, and I was not shy about showing it either. Practice could not get done soon enough for me.
"Nate, wait up!" I turned to see Kellen running after me.
"I have somewhere to be. Sorry." I turned back around and proceeded to exit.
He grabbed my shoulder. "What's wrong with you?"
"Well, first off, you weaseled your way onto this team. Poor Katie lost her spot because of you."
"Wasn't that part of the plan? Get me on a team and help me rise to popularity."
"Originally, but I am a bad judge of character. Like I said, I have got to go." I turned around and walked out. I heard him leave after me. I turned around and shouted over my shoulder, "By the way, Friday is cancelled. Fuck off!"
"Nate! Nate! Wait please!"
I heard a hit, and then I heard something hit the ground. When I turned around, I saw Kellen once again on the ground. This time, however, it was Mike Collins on top of him. I ran to them, and pulled Mike off of him.
"Mike, what was that all about?"
"Just doing what Talan told me to do. As soon as I heard fuck off, I stepped in. I always got your back, boy. Talan is by Tristan's truck. He's waiting for you."
I could not help but smile as I approached to truck. Talan was standing there, looking good after what I could tell by the look on his face was a grueling football practice.
"So, you are setting me up with my own secret service?" I asked as I walked over to him.
"Essentially. Look, cut the shit Nathan. We need to talk."
"Okay. About what?"
"The note I got today. Be honest with me. Do you know who sent it?"
"Talan, I honestly have no idea. I swear!"
"Okay, I believe you Natty. Now look, I know it's none of my business, but I am not going to let you go out with Kellen Friday."
"Excuse me?" I was getting angry.
"You heard me, Nathan. You are not going out with him on Friday."
"Oh, I forgot you were my dad. Who the hell are you to tell me who I can and can't go on a date with? Last time I checked, you were my best friend, not my boyfriend."
"Listen to me, I am not going to let you. I am going to protect you against getting hurt!"
"Talan, here you go again. Are you really going to ruin our friendship over Kellen...again?"
He lost it. "Nathan, I did not ruin the friendship last time. Sure, I was the one that brought up the situation, but you were the one to throw away the friendship so quickly. I took the blame because I didn't want to lose you. I won't just stand by, however, and have you place the blame on me this time!"
I was stunned. When I thought about it, he was right. However, I wasn't going to let him hear that. "So, dad, you think you are going to strong arm me out of dating Kellen? Well, think again. Now move out of my way, I have to go home!"
He stepped out of my way, and I climbed in the truck. Just as I was shutting the door, he caught it. "Listen Nathanial, if you drive away now, I am not sure I will still be here. Do you understand me? I don't want to lose you, but if you are going to let someone take advantage of you, I can't stand by and watch you get hurt."
"Look, I am a big boy. I can handle myself."
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Goodbye Nathanial." With that he shut the door and walked off.
When he got to his car, I saw him kick the side of it. It was then that I started crying. I did it again. I pushed Talan away a second time, and I knew this time I would not be able to fix it. He was so willing to accept me when I came out. He was just trying to protect me. What did I do?
I pushed him away. The boy, no, the man I loved is not in my corner anymore. It was all my fault. I felt my heart breaking. I knew that I was just ready to wake up from this nightmare. I wanted to roll over and turn off my alarm clock and get ready for a real day at school. The day I had was probably the worst day of my life. I lost the love of my life. I had no idea what to do. I knew I had to pull myself together, or I would never survive my ride home. When my sobs turned into silent tears, I put the truck in reverse, and started on my way home.
"Audi, what's wrong?" Tristan asked me as I walked back into the house.
"Nothing. I'm going to bed."
"Well then, you are sleeping in my room."
"No, I am going to sleep in my own bed."
"Nathanial, listen to your brother." My father said as he made his way to the kitchen from his study.
"Why can't I sleep in my own damn bed?" I was too upset to sound angry. I sounded more like a child who did not get what they wanted.
"First off, do not speak to me like that. Second, you are crying. I will not have you alone while you are upset. You will sleep in your brother's bed, and he will be there with you. I will not have you attempting again. Now, unless you would like to talk about it, I suggest you go to your brother's room."
"Alright." I walked by my dad, who tried to pull me into a hug. I shrugged out of it, and walked towards my brother's room.
I had no sooner laid down and shut my eyes, when my brother started his interrogation.
"Audi, what is it? Talk to me bro."
"I don't want to talk about it Tristan. Just drop it please."
"No, I will not just drop it. Tell me what is bothering you. I couldn't help you before. I will be damned if I am not going to help you now!"
"Okay, well it's a couple of different things really, but they all boil down to Talan."
My brother went into a rampage. "What the fuck did that little fucker do to you? Did he hurt you? I WILL KILL HIM!"
"Tristan, calm down. It was me. It was all me. I pushed him away. Twice. I just don't know how to deal with losing my best friend." A whole new set of tears formed in my eyes, and I unleashed them in heart wrenching sobs.
Tristan was over to me in an instant. He was embracing me and running his fingers through my hair. "Audi, bro, calm down. Everything is going to be alright. That boy loves you like his brother. He will come around."
I pulled myself together before I spoke. "No, he won't. He told me he wouldn't. He doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."
"Listen, I know you don't want to hear this, but you have got to give it time. He will come around. It's my guess that he is having to be consoled just as you are. It will all be okay baby brother. I promise. Even if I have to kick some sense into his ass after a while, it will all work out."
"Thanks Tris. I am really tired. I am going to sleep now." With that I rolled over and closed my eyes. I began silently crying. I was trying my best to hide it from Tristan. I thought I was succeeding.
I felt a shift in the mattress, and the next thing I knew, Tristan had his arms around me. He pulled me closer to him, and began rubbing my hair. I felt at ease. It was amazing how similar and yet how different this was to when Talan held me. With Talan I felt protected and loved, but I also felt a lust for him. I wanted the hold to mean more than it did. With Tristan, I felt protected. He was holding me the way he did when we were kids. When I would get scared from a storm or a movie, I would always get in bed with him. He would hold me through the night and protect me. That was what he was doing now. Nothing sexual about it, just an older brother protecting his younger brother. I fell asleep in his arms feeling both protected and loved. It was a peaceful ending to a shitty day.
I don't know why I did it, but the following day at school, I met Kellen before anyone else. I told him that our date was back on, but there would be no need for a movie. He needed to plan something private so we could talk.
"No one is going to jump me this time, right?" He asked with no masking of the fear in his voice.
"My guess is no. I have burned bridges with my protection. I'll see you at practice. Don't talk to me in class. I will explain everything on Friday."
With that, I walked towards the lunchroom. I wasn't hungry, but I needed to see my friends. When I got there, I was surprised at what I saw. Our table was there, but it was empty. I was even more surprised to see Talan sitting at a table with just Mike, Stacy, and Brenda. I looked for everyone else. They were there, just sitting at a table by themselves. Brad spotted me and waved me over.
Matt spoke first. "Look, we don't know the whole story, but we are sticking with you 100 percent Nate. Talan needs to grow up."
"Matt is right," Kelly Rollings stated. "He is being a big baby."
"Guys, I am sure Nathan does not want to talk about Talan, so let's change the subject. Cute jeans Nathan. Did you paint em on this morning?" Brad quipped trying to get me to smile.
I sat down at the table with a smile on my face. "Maybe. Anyways, thanks guys. For backing me, I mean. I am the one that is in the wrong here, but it means a lot that you all would stick by my side."
"Anytime, anywhere bro." Matt responded.
"So, we have got to go get suits for the Masquerade Ball. It's next week!" Brad said as a way of changing the subject altogether.
"Yeah, I know. Believe it or not, I am actually looking forward to it." I responded.
"Of course you are! Your secret admirer is going to fuck your brains out!" Kelly said. The whole table erupted into laughter. I couldn't help but look at Talan's table. We made eye contact, and I could tell that he was just as upset as I was, but I had to listen to Tristan. I had to give it time.
"So, let's go downtown after school. We can go to that tux place." Matt said.
"What about me?" Kelly said.
"Well, I guess we can go with you while you look at a dress. I'm sure Brad would be more than happy to help you with that." Matt said. As soon as he was done talking, Brad playfully hit him in the arm. The two of them were laughing, and I noticed something. The look in their eyes, I was familiar with it. The two of them were looking at each other like I looked at Talan. They were in love!
I was pulled out of my thinking when Brad spoke up. "Hey, sorry guys, but I gotta go tutor some freshmen before first. I'll see ya there."
"Bye Brad." We said in unison.
A few minutes later, Matt stood up. "I am gonna go see if Mr. Smith can help me with some problems on my homework. I'll catch you guys later."
Kelly and I both told him bye. With them gone, Kelly and I talked for a few minutes, but she decided that she was going to talk to this guy she had been hanging with for a week or so. I told her bye as she left the table.
I was sitting there alone when I saw Talan get up and head in my direction. I was not ready for this just yet, so I got up and walked off. He was following me, so I ducked into the first room I could find. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him walk by. I stayed in the room for a few more minutes, and then I decided to walk back to the lunchroom. As I was turning the handle, I heard a noise. It sounded like pants hitting the ground. I turned around and saw some movement coming from the other side of the room, followed by sets of giggles. I ducked and inched my way closer to the source of the noise.
When I was finally focused on what was going on, I was somewhat shocked. I knew about this already, but I never expected it to happen at school. However, it was. I could hardly believe it. Matt was standing there, pants and underwear on the ground, while Brad was on his knees in front of him, cock in mouth.
"Brad, baby, slow down. I don't wanna cum too quick." Matt said.
Brad pulled Matt's dick out of his mouth and began stroking it while he talked. "Baby, this has to be fast. The bell is gonna ring in like five minutes." With that, he dived back on his dick with gusto.
I could tell he was working him over good. Matt was trying to muffle his moans, but was not succeeding that much. I felt a tightness in the front of my pants as I watched the ordeal take place. I was just about to reach my hand into my pants when I saw Matt's balls tighten up. He let out a moan that was closer to a scream, and then I saw Brad gulping. He was swallowing Matt's cum.
When Matt's orgasm subsided, Brad stood up, and they started kissing. It was the most passionate kiss I had ever seen. When they pulled away from it, Matt started talking first.
"Baby, I love you so much. Happy One Year Anniversary!"
"I love you, too, Mattie. Happy One Year!"
They started kissing again. I was floored. Not only were Brad and Matt more than just `extremely sexual,' they were dating for a whole year. My smart ass side got the best of me, and I stood up and started to slow clap.
"What the fuck?" Matt said with horror in his voice.
"Nate, how long have you been there?" Brad asked with desperation.
"Long enough to know that you two are in love. Congratulations! I do, however, feel that you need to know, Matt, that Brad offered to suck my dick a few nights ago."
"Well, I already know because it was my idea. You were so bummed about Talan, you needed a pick me up, so I figured why not lend the best service I could think of."
"Well, damn. I'm at a loss for words."
"Well, if you don't mind, could you give us a moment? To, uh, finish up?" Brad asked with pleading eyes.
"Yup, sorry. That was hot, by the way." I said as I walked out the door.
So much was different now. One of my best friends was gay as well, and he was in a relationship with another one of my really good friends. I felt like my life was the only one that had no meaning in my entire group. I needed to figure out who my secret admirer was. There was no way it could be Matt or Brad, not after what I just saw, so I had to rethink all my theories. One thing I knew was for sure. It did not matter anymore who my secret admirer was. I was going to give them a chance. Male or female, young or old, ugly or pretty, they were getting a chance. I wanted to feel love. Not just feel it, but have it reciprocated as well. I was looking forward to next Friday with much more enthusiasm. Maybe things would go my way after all. I just had to keep my mind open.
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Author's Note
This is something I normally don't do, but I have a question for you. Do y'all think it would be ok if I switched point of view every now and again? Let me tell you that it would only switch between 2 people, but I still feel the need to ask.
Thanks ZK