Secrets And Lies

Secrets and Lies A Lance Bass Story

Disclaimer: I know nothing. I know no one.

This is an easy way for me to get feedback on my writing. I have aspirations and all comments, good and bad, will be appreciated at nftyinkz@me.com

And for those of you who are just here for some dirty, sexy, man love, well, there will be some of that, too. I'm not used to writing that sort of thing, so bear with me.

Chapter One

"You're not going to win, ya know," David smiled at me as he held my hand. "These other guys are so much better than you."

I gave him a wry smile. I know what he was trying to do but it just wasn't working. "Don't make me laugh. I have to pee."

"And the nominees for best actor in a play are . . ."

I squeezed David's hand tighter. He squeezed back and whispered "good thing I like losers." Feeling that I might lose it if I moved my lips, I just turned my head to look at him. Gripped even tighter.

"Dean Armstrong in 'Breakfast at Midnight'." David leaned towards me and said in my ear "Now he's a fine young man, but a gay guy's not going to win." I turned slightly to glare at him.

"John Barrymore in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.'" David whispered "now, I don't even know who that is, so you might have a chance against him." I smiled a little.

"Drew Fuller in 'Variations'" "He was hot in Charmed, but his acting stunk, even on THAT show.

"David, that was mean," I said as I tried not to laugh. David just shushed me.

"Daniel Radcliffe in 'Equus'". "Now there." David shook his head. "How can you compete with Harry Potter and his magic wand? And, I want to add," as he looked around, "he does have the support of the crowd." And so he had, at least the upper levels that held the fans, which exploded in applause when he name was called.

"And Evan Sanders in 'Shirley Jackson's The Lottery'". "And there you have it . . ." David squeezed my hand as the applause died back down to the polite necessity it was. "I love you, anyway, Mr. Sanders." I turned and looked at him. But no words could come out.

"And the 2009 Tony Award goes to . . ."

I drew a breathe in.

"Evan Sanders, for 'Shirley Jackson's The Lottery'!"

"I almost didn't hear her. I couldn't process it. But there my face was, on the big screen up on stage. There was David kissing me and screaming in my ear. Numbly, I got up and started walking. Familiar faces stood as I walked by, grinning and clapping. Climbing the stage, I took the award. God it was heavy.

I reached the podium and looked down at the award in my hand. Tears welled up in my eyes. I laughed and the crowd chuckled with me. "I'm so unprepared for this," I stammered out and I got another chuckle. "This never happens to me. I didn't prepare anything." Finally my brain started to work again. "I guess I got this award because of the great play that I was lucky to be apart of. Playing Mark Summers was a dream come true. Meryl . . ." I found her looking my way, beaming. " . . . You are a wonderful person to work with day in and day out. I wouldn't be here without everything that you've taught me and showed me. Thank you. Thank you, also, to production team, for developing this rich and tantalizing story into a play so wonderful that spoke to the masses. Thanks to everyone who made the decision to give me a chance." I caught the orchestra's director eye and me motioned for me to finish. I nodded. "Finally, to David. You've given me so much support over these past couple of years. My thanks go to you, most of all." And that was that. The music started and the clapping was louder than before. I couldn't remember any of it, though, and hoped that I remember to thank everyone that mattered as I walked off of the stage.

I went backstage and was kept there for about an hour afterwards, answering questions from reporters and posing for pictures. The only thing that kept running through my mind was that I had to pee. There's nothing quite like winning an award like this. The anxiety began when I was nominated and increased a hundred fold when I woke this morning. And now, as I started to relax, my body started to take over, and the call of the wild roared.

Finally, the last question was asked, the last camera flashed. I hurried to the restrooms, barely noticing a vaguely familiar face standing by the doorway, trying to get my attention. I was a man on a mission. I half-threw the Tony onto the sink counter on my way to the nearest stall. Relief. And then.

"Congratulations, Evan."

That voice. I remember that voice. Who could forget that baritone voice of his?

"Damn," I whispered quietly. Turning my head, I saw James standing next to the sinks, fidgeting with my award. "Hello, Lance." That was all that I could muster.

"Lance? You've never called me 'Lance' before."

"Don't start," I replied angrily. I flushed, zipped up and turned towards him.

"You know, the person that I loved was never there, never real. He was just a mask, covering something . . ." I looked him over, at a lost for words. "I'm not going to go there. It was almost ten years ago, Lance. I've moved on."

He snickered to himself. "I noticed."

"Fuck you." I stormed past him. Running out the door, I nearly collided with David.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," he smiled and kissed me. "What's wrong, Evan? You're all flushed."

"Nothing, David, I . . ." and then the bathroom door opened, and out walked James.

"You left this in there." He handed me my award. "Congrats again, I didn't even know you were nominated." James smiled at David just then, who was standing there, staring with his mouth open.

"You're . . . you're . . ." David inhaled and closed his eyes. For a minute there, I thought he was going to pass out. "Oh, my god, you're Lance Bass!" He finally got it out, shouting loud enough so that the reporters down the hall turned to stare.

I sighed to myself. I was on such a high minutes ago.

James smiled and extended his hand. David ignored it and instead, pulled James into a hug. "You must be David." James straightened his tux after he.

David looked at me. "You told him about me? How do you know him?"

James laughed. "David, he told everybody about you. In his speech tonight, remember?" He looked at me, slyly. "And Evan and I, we go way back."

"David." I got no response. I snapped my fingers in front of his face a few times. David blinked. "David, can you give Lance and me a couple of minutes?"

"Yeah, sure," David said off-handedly. "It was great to meet you Lance." He gave one last smile and backed away.

"Quite a catch you've got there, Evan," James said as he eyed David as he walked away.

"Stop it," I sighed, rubbing my eyes.

"No, I mean it. If you can't have the boy band, go with the boy band fan." James was still chuckling.

I had enough. "James," I said angrily. "Why are you here?"

He smirked. "It's not always about you, you know. Like I said, I didn't even know you were nominated."

"Then why . . .?"

"Joey's nominated for something. Just showing support for my bro."

"For 'Kiss of the Spiderwoman'? I forgot that he was in that. Did he win?" James nodded. "Well, then. . ." I was at a loss for words. It was becoming a long night. ". . . tell Joey I said congrats." And with that, I turned to go.

"I came out, you know." He said softly before I could take two steps. I turned back.

"I heard." I smiled a little. "I think the whole world heard, James. David," I cocked my head down the hall, "nearly had an aneurism when he saw it on the cover of People."

He smiled back. "Yeah, I do like to make a splash." I lowered my head, trying not to smile as I remember happier times. "But I figured you would get a hold of me, considering that was why we broke up." I glance back up, not believing what I was hearing. "Me not wanting to come out of the closet and all," James finished.

And the anger was back. "First of all, that is not why we broke up. You know damn well the reason why we broke up. And second, weren't you dating that guy from some reality show?"

"He ended up cheating on me," James said softly.

I sneered. "Yeah? Well, that's irony for you, jackass." I turned to walk away again and James grabbed my arm.

"Can't we try to be civil?" he asked. "Can't we try to be friends?"

I shook his hand off. "Goodbye, James." And then I was off, heading back towards David, not looking back.

David and I skipped the after parties. It wasn't kosher, and the producers were pissed, but I couldn't handle another run in with James. Instead, we went to Reilly's, an Irish pub that I waited tabled at for years in-between acting gigs. There was a private get together put on by the owners. Everyone was so proud of me. And I had way too much Guinness before David dragged me home.

I was lost in the night's events as I started to undress. I didn't notice David standing there, watching me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" David's voice startled me and I jumped. "You seem strange, Evan."

I shook my head, as I took off my shirt. "Just thinking, is all." I started to unbutton my pants when David stepped forward and grabbed my hand. He brought it up to his mouth, kissing it.

"Should I be jealous?" David asked as he held my hand in both of his.

"Jealous?" I asked, confused. "About what?"

"Well, you're going to be a big star now. You can have anyone you want." I scoffed, but he shook his head. "No, I'm serious. You are quite the catch, Mr. Sanders. Everybody's going to want you now."

I smiled a little. "What, they didn't before?"

He laughed. "Yeah, they probably did." He leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips before pulling back. "They just didn't know it when you were waiting tables."

I pulled him close to me and kissed him long and hard. My tongue parted his lips and was exploring his mouth. "Well," I said after pulling back, "they're just going to have to be disappointed, cuz I'm with you, Mr. Martinez."

He sighed a little. "Even with Lance?" I was startled by the question and I guess it showed on my face, cuz he started to explain.

"I saw how he looked at you, Evan. He's wanting you bad." I shook my head as I backed towards the bed. "And you had that same look on your face."

I looked at him, flabbergasted. "What was that? David, you can't be serious?" He simply nodded his head. "David," I extended my hand towards him and he walked forward, grabbing it. Our fingers entwined and I looked at it before continuing. "Lance and I were together a lifetime ago. I don't know what he's looking for now, and frankly I couldn't care less. I have what I want in my life." I pulled him close for a kiss. After kissing him lightly, I pulled him into my arms and whispered in his ear "I've got my Tony Award."

I laughed as he pulled back with a playful smile on his face. I backed up into the bed and started crawling backwards towards the headboard, all the while laughing. He ripped off his shirt and came after me. Climbing on top, he leaned forwards and kissed me fiercely, while his hands were unbuttoning my pants. He started to work his lips down my body, stopping at my nipple, his tongue playfully swirled around and I moaned with pleasure. "Oh, David. . . OW!"

David's teeth sunk around my nipple, biting hard. "Tony Award?" he asked before tonguing my chest and abs, working in between the six-pack that I've been working so hard to get. I propped myself on my elbows and looked towards the ceiling, halfway to heaven. What a glorious night.

David's fingers began running under the elastic band of my boxer briefs. I raised my hips and he wasted no time pulling my pants and boxer briefs down in one fell swoop. My glistening cock leaped forward, standing at attention. David seized it and his tongue swirled around the head, causing me to moan in ecstasy. He simply responded by deep throating me, his tongue wrapping itself around my hard shaft.

I writhed on the bed, eyes closed, loving every minute. "Fuck me, James." I whispered, causing David to stop for a moment, his mouth halfway around my cock. "Fuck me," I said again, a little more forcefully.

David got up and removed his pants, his tan body glowing in the moonlight coming through the open window. His rod greeted me with glee. I never wanted him more. "Fuck me," I whispered again, almost pleading.

David began to roll me over and I happily obliged. Before I knew it, his tongue began to lick the crack of my bubble butt, stopping at the welcoming hole. His tongue penetrated me, forcing itself into me, my sphincter responding happily, pulsing with his thrusts.

I moaned in pleasure. "Oh, James . . ."

David stopped for a moment. And then WHAM. His eight-inch cock raced into my welcoming hole. I cried in pain for just a moment, but the pleasure overwhelmed all other emotions. David became more forceful with each thrust and I enjoyed every moment of it. Each time, he would pull back, nearly coming out completely and then he would pull on my hips as he pushed back inside me. His cock brushed against my prostate. I was leaking precum in a continuous flow. I was close, and wanted David to cum with me. Matching his rhythm, I began to back into him as he pushed in. He began to pant harder and with one last thrust he buried his cock into my ass and began shooting volumes. I moaned and my cock erupted with cum.

After what seemed like a lifetime, David withdrew. His cum was leaking out of my ass. I rolled over, eyes closed and half asleep. Moaning in pleasure. My juice on my chest began to harden, but I was too tired and too happy to care. David collapsed on the bed next to me.

"I love you. . ."

And then I fell asleep, blissfully unaware that David got up and went out of the room.

The late morning sun shown through the bedroom window, hitting my face. I opened my eyes, squinting. Noises from the kitchen made me aware the David had woken up already and was making breakfast. The smell of coffee hit my nostrils and I inhaled deeply, a smile creeping on my face.

I started to get out of the bed and noticed that I was a mess. The sheets had stuck to me during the night, and as I pulled them off, a hint of pain crossed my face. Reaching for my shorts, I pulled them on and stood. I noticed that last night's activities precluded me from walking normally. I hobbled into the living room and noticed that the sofa bed was pulled out and was unmade, like someone slept in it. 'How odd,' I thought to myself as I scampered past and went into the kitchen. David sat there, looking into his bowl of cereal. His coffee mug was in his hand.

I went to him and beamed. "Good morning, David," I said, noticing the scoff he made. I leaned down to kiss him but he pulled back. "OK," I muttered under my breath, and grabbed a bowl for myself.

I had begun eating when David looked at me. I could tell that he had been crying.

"Who's James?" he asked, his voice cracking.

I nearly choked on my mouthful of cereal. Coughing, I had to take a moment. After the spasms passed, I looked at David and was met with his brown eyes staring at me accusingly. "What the hell? I don't know any James, David," I said with a hint of confusion.

He just glared. "Last night," he spat out, the words full of venom, "you bottomed. You never bottomed."

"OK." I looked at David curiously. The whole morning was so odd, I almost pinched myself to make sure I was awake. "I guess I wanted to change things up a little. I did have a lot to drink. And you weren't complaining last night."

He shot me an icy stare. "Not with me. That was a first." He violently pushed his cereal bowl away from him, the milk splashing out onto the table. "Yeah, last night was full of firsts, wasn't it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked angrily. It was too early in the morning to deal with this.

"You told me you loved me last night for the first time." David said. The edge in his voice was gone and when I looked at him, I noticed his head was down. I tried to grab his hand but he pulled away.

"David," I got out of my chair and walked to the counter, leaning against it. "I'm sure I've said that to you before." He shook his head. "And even if you're right, the fact that I said it last night proves that it's true. Last night was the best night of my life, and I said it to tell the whole world that you're my man."

"Touching," David said sarcastically. He looked up and his eyes shimmered with tears. "Except it's not true. Cuz you didn't say it on stage last night."

Puzzled, I cocked my head and said "But you said I told you last night."

"You did." David got out of his chair and turned toward me. "You said it after I fucked you."

"Well, then, there you go. Why doesn't that count?"

"Cuz you said it to James." My mouth fell open. I didn't know what to say. "You asked James to fuck you last night. And then you told James that you loved him. So, I gotta ask ya - who's James?"

"David. . .I. . ."

"You know what, Evan?" I looked at me angrily before turning towards the door. "I don't even want to know anymore." With that, he grabbed his bag and left the apartment. And I was left alone with my thoughts."

End of Chapter One

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