Semester in Blood 8
SIB8
“Calm down!”
There is a reason Armando is telling me to calm down. He just broke the news that he is my fucking father. I am thrashing around the room in an attempt to get away from him. A part of me doesn't want to believe him. The other part of me feels sick to my stomach because it all kind of makes sense deep in my mind.
“Get the FUCK off of me!” my voice is hoarse and unrecognizable.
He doesn't let me go. He's strong and that hidden strength that I had before doesn't seem to be coming to save me. It's the opposite. I'm weak as fuck and instead of fighting Armando off I fall into his muscular arms and let him hold me up.
My legs are weak.
“We are the lucky ones,” He tells me, “Your mother used to sing that to you all the time when you were a kid. You remember, don't you. You were just 5 the last time I saw you.”
I attempt to push away from Armando but he doesn't let me go. He begins to hum these fucking lyrics and the more he sings the song the more I realize this shit could be real. And what's sick about this is the fact that I was attracted to Armando. Worse...I wanted to be with Armando and I acted out on it. I kissed him. I kissed him hoping that he would fucking kiss me back.
When he lets go I am pressed up against the side of the wall and I can't bear to look at him. I stare at the floor as though it's the most interesting thing in the world.
“You're lying.”
I don't think he is. I know he isn't actually, but that's the only thing I can say right now that would help me save face that I just tried to kiss this dude.
“I'm not as old as I look,” he explains, “Vampires stop aging when they are bit. You know this. You'll look like that forever. I'll look like this forever. That's how it is. You know that.”
He's young. He's attractive. He's more than attractive. He's one of the sexiest vampires in Eden and everyone fucking knows that.
“This has to be some sort of joke,” I tell him.
He crosses his arms, “We named you Santos. You look just like her. It's hard to look at you. How can you think you repulse me. You're the most beautiful thing in the world to me.”
“And if you are my father then wouldn't that mean you left me?”
My eyes are solid right now. All of a sudden I'm looking directly at Armando. If he is my father I don't get anything from him save my skin tone. He's way more handsome than I am. I feel like I look like a child. My eyes are too big. My ears are too small. My lips are too thin. My head is too big. Armando looks just like the actor Miguel Gomez except he has these perfect curls on the top of his forehead that seemed perfected like only a vampire could.
“I had no choice,” Armando tells me.
“Well I have a choice and I choose not to listen to this bullshit.”
I start walking off at that moment. I am halfway out of the room when Armando runs at me. He grabs me with a speed that only a vampire can have. I'm standing there looking at him. There is a passion in his eye but I know there is one in mine as well. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want him to explain his side of the story. My whole life I was raised in a fucking hell hole.
“Can you please let me explain?”
“Would it make me feel any better? Honestly?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. Even if he is my father he is Armando and even if this is the most emotion he's ever shown it's still now a lot. He's calculating right now. He's thinking about the answer. Every second that passes he seems to be turning back into his old role as the Captain of the Guard.
“No Santos. It won't make you feel any better.”
“Then I don't want to fucking hear your fucking excuse.”
Armando crosses his arms.
“I have none. In the end...I abandoned you,” Armando explains to me, “I left you. I thought it was for the better but it wasn't. It was me making a young mistake. I was attempting to save you from this vampire life and in the end it didn't matter. You're here now anyway.”
“Well then it's decided. Right. It doesn't matter. Right?” I ask.
I would have expected I'd be emotional if I ever met my real parents. I guess this was just half of it but I am not emotional. There is a coldness that comes over me. A part of me wants to go into Armando's arms and cry and throw a tantrum. I don't do it though. I turn to the door. I'm eager to leave. Fuck Armando.
Armando instead is the emotional one. His eyes seem heavy and burdened when he asks me, “Is there a chance we can build anything...anything at all...”
“No.”
He nods. He turns away from me. I wonder if he is crying but I don't care enough to check it out. I don't care enough to even stay in this room any longer. The only thing keeping me in this room is the fact that Armando is the Captain of the Guard.
His voice quivers, “I understand.”
Yes. Armando is crying. As cold as he is I know that this can't be a trick. Either this man is completely crazy or he really is my father. Armando didn't seem like the crazy type either.
“Am I free to go Captain?” I ask him.
“Yes,” he replies before quickly adding, “You won't tell anyone about what happened here to tonight Mr. Santos.”
He isn't asking.
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As I make my way back to the dorms I realize that Armando didn't stop me from leaving that second time. I didn't want him to and I didn't want to hear the explanation he had. Still I don't get why I'm so fucking sad. I feel like a victim again. The boy whose father left him. I find myself struggling to even believe that he is my father.
But if Armando is. What difference would it make?
Would he teach me how to play catch now?
Would he teach me how to ride a bike?
Would he teach me what it took to be a man?
It's a little too late for all of his shit so I shake off the thought almost completely by the time I get back to the dorms. I am living a new life now. I don't care if he is my father. I don't care to know what happened to my mother. I push all of that shit to the back of my mind because I don't see how it's going to affect my life now.
“How was it?”
I'm not surprised when I get back to the dorm and the first people to see me are Lucca and Camilla. They must have been waiting by the door.
“Get the hell out of my way,” I respond to them.
I make my way to my bed. I lay down on my bed at that moment. I'm not emotional. That isn't the problem. I'm just over it all. I'm over this place. I was better off in Harlem. Raul and Milan were rubbing their relationship in their face, Nero probably hated me, Geneva was jealous of me, we had a traitor running around, the Dean of the school and his daughter were plotting against me, I was failing and now on TOP of all of that I'd just kissed a guy who was convinced he was my father.
Yes. I was over it.
“We heard what happened,” Camilla states, “Don't let them get to you. Sure Nero may be over you but I'm sure Armando...”
“The two of you better SHUT the fuck up right now,” I respond, “And leave me alone. I listened to you two idiots and now my life is ruined.”
My voice is angry. However Camilla and Lucca decide to leave me alone. They must get it. I wouldn't have pursued Armando if it weren't for them. I wouldn't have kissed him. Nero wouldn't have caught me. Armando probably wouldn't have told me that he was my father.
I would have been happy still.
I am realizing. I don't have any friends here. I don't have anyone that I want to be around. Eden is worse than Spanish Harlem. Paradise is hell.
I'm woken up by Lucca the next morning.
“The prince wants to talk,” he said.
“To me?”
“To all of us.”
I'm confused at that moment. I don't even have a chance to shower or brush my teeth before I'm pulled into the common area. The others are sitting around waiting. I see Nero standing by the window. He's talking to a guy. The guy is cute. I have to admit. I don't like how close the guy is to Nero either.
“Whose that?” I ask Lucca.
Lucca crosses his arms, “Nero's personal guard. Supposedly his father only let him back in Class O if he took on a personal guard.”
“Also happens to be sexy as fuck...” Camilla adds in.
Lucca elbows Camilla to shut her up. She's right. Nero's personal guard is handsome as hell. He's a black guy. He's about Nero's height. He has dark skin but bright eyes just like Nero. They actually look good together. The guy has a bald head. He looks in his early 20s. He isn't my type personally. He seems too much of a pretty boy. He looks like he gets his eyebrows waxed and he's a little too pretty. I don't expect this from the King's guard. I'm assuming all of them were manly men like Armando. This guy isn't Armando though. He's the opposite of Armando.
“Armando personally picked him,” Lucca whispers in my right ear, “That's the same guard who had an interview a few weeks ago saying how attractive Nero was. Now why would Armando choose a guard for Nero who had a crush on him?
Camilla is in my other ear, “Armando's playing the game. Just like everyone else.”
I roll my eyes at that moment. I cannot deal with the two devils on my shoulders right now. It's entirely too early and after listening to them about Armando I completely embarrassed myself. I stand up and take a seat away from those two. I can't take too much of their plotting and bullshit. Not today at least. I can see their eyes staring at me as I leave.
I take a seat across the room away from everyone else. I'm alone. Just the way that I want it.
Milan walks into the room after the rest of class O is there. He doesn't give me even the slightest look but takes a seat next to Raul. He puts his arm over Raul's shoulder. I roll my eyes. Yes. This was definitely hell.
“What'd I miss?” Milan asks, “What's this house meeting about?”
Nero is there, “You seem to miss a lot when it's most important.”
“I'm don't get into the drama,” Milan states.
There is a tension between the two. I just roll my eyes though. I can't take Milan sometimes. Sometimes he's the most humble person in the world and then other times he's just the opposite. I can't take his bi-polar reactions today. Everything is getting on my nerves today. I cross my arms and look at Nero. He's dressed in gold. He looks amazing. Everyone but him is getting on my nerves today.
I realize Nero also is avoiding eye contact with me. He stands in the front of the room. His guard is by his side.
“I'd like to introduce all of you to Sinclair,” Nero explains about his guard, “Captain Armando has assigned him to protect all of us. He'll be staying here in the dorms with us.”
“You mean to protect you?” Milan corrects Nero.
Nero ignores him, “I gathered all of you here to talk about yesterday...last night in particular.”
I know Nero is talking about me kissing Armando. I knew this was going to have to come up. I can tell even more when I look over at Coco. A smile spreads across her cheek. Geneva and Raul also seem a little excited about this. I guess I could see it coming a mile away. I don't blame Nero. Why continue to have this fake fucking relationship when I can't keep my hands to myself.
“I'm sorry you had to see that,” Coco explains, “It was never my intention to see you hurt Nero but I think it's for the best.”
I sigh a little bit. I want to run out of the room from embarrassment.
Milan raises his hand, “Wait...I'm lost. What happened last night?”
There is an awkwardness in the room. I'd expect Raul to tell him but Raul just looks awkward. Geneva is crossing her arms. The ring leader of the haters is Coco though and I realize when the other two aren't pouncing to tell him that Coco wouldn't waste any time.
“It was the worst,” Coco explains dramatically, “Santos was caught kissing Armando.”
“No wonder why he's still here,” Geneva adds abruptly, “Especially with his grades.”
Milan raises an eyebrow. That's all. He looks over at me. He doesn't seem upset like I think he would be. Milan doesn't seem jealous. At that moment, he just seems...interested. That is the only way I can describe it. I'm not necessarily shocked though. This is Milan and he does have a million personalities.
I want to defend myself but there is no excuse. I sit there and take it. They got the better of me. Coco, Geneva and Raul got the upper hand.
They won.
I was beyond embarrassed. I was beyond defeated. I was sitting there drenched in my own sweat. And the worst part of this moment was Nero. Nero was looking down and he was embarrassed too. Fake relationship or not, I shouldn't have embarrassed him in front of all those people.
“Can we get this over with?” I ask Nero.
He still hasn't looked over at me. He's not even acknowledging me.
Coco stands up and looks over at me, “I wouldn't be in such a rush. You know what will happen when people find out you cheated on Nero? You'll be hated in Eden. The golden child will finally be revealed for who he is.”
She's trying to get underneath my skin. It would be easy to let her too. I mean she's won. This was what she wanted ever since Nero ignored her for me. There is a look of satisfaction in Coco's eyes. You would think she just won a fucking Oscar or something like that. I can't help to feel the pain in my stomach. How could someone who didn't even know me spend so much time and energy in an attempt to take me down. What was worse was that she had help now. Her, Geneva and Raul had all gathered because they had one thing in common.
They all wanted me away from the men they were interested in.
And in a way...they all succeeded.
“I understand,” I respond, defeated, getting up at that moment, “Are we done here?”
It's hard to save face. I dust myself off. I'm trying to leave this room with any dignity that I have left. It's not every day that people plot against you and try to rub it in your face. Coco's eager smile is something that I can't deny. She wants to see me crackle and cry. I can at least not give her that. I can at least go find a corner to soak in my misery without her seeing me.
“Sit,” Nero orders me.
Great. I can't even be miserable in peace. There is a forcefulness about Nero. He usually treats us all equal and seems to hide the fact that he is royalty. Today is different though. He has that royal regard written all over him. I have no choice but to go ahead and take a seat. The others are looking at me. They are looking for reaction. I wonder if they want me to break down or cry or maybe go off on Coco. They make thing I'll just try to beg Nero for forgiveness. A part of me wants to do all of those things.
Nero doesn't give me the chance though. He is looking at Coco when he says, “I don't want anyone to go to the media about what happened.”
What?
Coco damn near jumps out of her skin, “Why are you protecting him?”
“I'm not protecting anyone,” Nero explains, “I'm going to go to the media in a few days. I'll let them know Santos and I mutually parted ways due to some differences but we still love each other and will continue to be friends.”
“Nero...” Coco states.
“I've talked to my father about this,” Nero explains, “If any of you sell out Santos to the media...you will be exiled from Eden.”
My mouth drops open. Everyone is shocked. Coco is the dramatic of course. She is standing there with her mouth open. She doesn't understand why Nero has my back. To be honest I don't understand why Nero has my back either. It would be easy for him to just go out there and throw me under the bus. I played him. Why the fuck wasn't he getting his revenge?
With that Nero dismisses everyone. I follow close behind him. I don't get that close before I'm stopped by this Sinclair dude.
Sinclair puts his heavy hand on my chest.
“Get your fucking hands off of me,” I tell him.
I'm shocked by the fact that he is stopping me. Sinclair looks over at Nero. Nero nods as though letting him know it's ok for me to approach him. Was this how it was always going to be like just to talk to Nero now? I had to go through a fucking guard?
“What is it?” Nero asks.
He seems distant. He isn't looking at me with those interested eyes that he's always used. His eyes aren't lighting up like before. Right now his eyes are dim. They seem far away.
“Nero I'm sorry,” I explain to him, “I want to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did. It was a mistake and just to let you know that honestly nothing...less than nothing is happening between Armando and I.”