Semester in Space

Semester in Space 5

“Wait let me get this right. The most popular girl on this space station and probably one of the most popular teenagers in the United States wants you to become her boyfriend? Is that what you're trying to tell me right now?”

I'm talking to Dre. I'm so stressed out. Dre is in my dorm right now. He's laying on my bed cuddled up with me. I hate the fact that we are right back to doing this but I need him right now. Jae Jae isn't anyway where around and even if he was I am not comfortable talking to him about this. No one knows I'm gay. No one in the world except for Dre and now Bambi.

“That's what she says.”

“You don't even look the part...”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence.”

I roll my eyes. This isn't helping my self esteem. I've never been the most handsome guy in the school. I never really cared about my looks. I was basic Mario. I've always been basic Mario and nothing about me really stood out. There was nothing at all.

Dre must realize he hit a nerve because all of a sudden he pulls me close on the bed at that moment, “Don't get me wrong. You've always been beautiful...to me. Inside and out.”

“You mean that?”

I look over at Dre.

“C`mon. Don't make me start with all the gay stuff,” Dre gets embarrassed, “What I'm trying to say is you are handsome in your own way. These people though...they are like human dolls. Look at Jax and Greg. It's like some gay teenager designed them in a laboratory somewhere. They are trying to be these prototypes of perfection. That isn't reasonable.”

“So you don't think I should do it?”

“Now I didn't say that. I don't think you have a choice. I don't think either of us have a choice.”

I lean off the bed at that moment. I care about Dre. I've always cared about him. Right now it's just hard though. Here was a boy who had always been there but always felt like I had to hide who I was. I thought about how my mother would respond if I told her I was gay. It may not have been that bad. Dre kept scaring me all the time with these nightmares of gay people that came out of the closet and ended up committing suicide because everyone hated them. What if that wasn't the case for everyone though? What if some parents were ok with it?

“I don't trust that girl.”

“Listen just play the role,” Dre explains, “If you do...we can probably spend more time together and no one will suspect anything being that you have a girlfriend.”

“You think?”

“Yeah of course I think that. Matter of fact. I was thinking what if I got back with Daniella.”

Immediately I can feel my heart racing. I'm beyond pissed at that moment. Dre was talking about Daniella. Back in the day Daniella was a pain in my ass. She was this annoying ugly chick who Dre always went around with. Dre was way above that but he always felt like Daniella was just easy. He felt like Daniella could be his beard.

“You're fucking joking man,” I respond to him.

I jump off the bed. I'm HOT right now. He supposedly snuck on this space station to be with me and now he was talking about Daniella? Really?

It's making me wonder if he's been telling me the truth. What if all of it was a lie? What if he really always intended to just steal the ticket for himself?

“You'll have Bambi. I'll have Daniella. No one will suspect us being together. That works out perfect.”

“No. It's not perfect. Bambi and I have an agreement. Daniella is in LOVE with you Dre. What the fuck!”

Just at that moment I hear the key in the door and I know it's Jae Jae. The door opens in the next few minutes and Jae Jae walks in. He's not alone. Kaysha is with him. The two of them have been spending a lot of time together lately without me around but I'm not thinking anything of it...yet at least. So when they walk in the room together and see Dre and I standing in the middle of the floor looking like we just got in an argument they seem like they aren't in the position to be asking too many questions. All four of us just stand there awkwardly in the room for a minute.

Dre reaches over breaking the silence and tapping me on my shoulder, “Think about what I said ok?”

I don't respond as Dre walks out of the door at that moment. I'm just watching him leave silently. I don't get why it is that Dre always has a way of getting under my skin.

I'm just breathing heavy at that moment. I'm scared. I'm nervous.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kaysha asks.

“We're here if you do,” Jae Jae states.

It's clear something is happening. I've never been good about hiding what I'm going through. I wear it on my face. I'm distressed right now. Dre is planning on going back to Daniella. Him and Bambi just want me to play this role of a straight guy. They want me to pretend to be something that I'm not and both of them are pretending that I'll be happier.

So why come it just feels so wrong?

“I'll be fine guys. I'm ok.”

I know my friends don't believe me. The look in their eyes are look of worry but I try to brush it off and listen to Kaysha's latest gossip. I know my world is going to turn upside down at some point but I'm just hoping the artificial gravity on this space station will be able to hold me down.

A week quickly passes. Dre isn't as alone as he always is. He has been hanging out with Daniella. I see them at lunch sitting together. He sits with all of Daniella's friends but every once in a while I see him glare across the lunch table and look my way. I just turn away. I'm beyond mad at him. He wasted no time jumping into that relationship. Bambi knowing about us has really scared the fuck out of him clearly and he's trying to play this straight boy as hard as he can.

Then there's the Dollhouse. I've been avoiding all of them as much as I can. I change my seat in Astronomy class and when I have the class I see Jax just turn once to realize that I'm not sitting by him. I don't trust him after what he told Greg at the party. I don't trust any of them.

Bambi has gone back to completely ignoring me. I'm wondering if she has changed her mind about me being her fake boyfriend. I hope so at least.

That is until I see her in the Laboratory Module.

“Mario...I've been looking all over for you.”

Shit. I know who it is by the click of her heels. I know who it is by the smell of luxurious scents as she approaches me from behind. The voice sounds like deep and yet feminine at the same time. It has this power and class about it. My heart beats when she sees me.

At this point I am studying rocks that one of the probes brought back from a nearby comet for my Geology class. Bambi doesn't hesitate to drop her heavy purse hard on the table and completely break up my session.

“I was a little busy,” I tell her.

“Well you'll make time, I'm sure. Get up.”

“Whoa whoa whoa...I'm not that girl Chyna who you can just boss around. I told you that I was busy, didn't I?”

I roll my eyes at that moment and readjust my microscope.

“You know what's funny?” Bambi asks me, “You know what just really tickles me?”

She is tossing her long hair back and forth. Her weave looks like she has about 5 or 6 bundles of hair in their. The hair is all over the place. The bouncy hair flows between her heavy finger nails as she straights a few of the end curls. She's teasing me. She thinks this is all some big game.

She is really bothering the fuck out of me. I don't look up from the microscope but respond in the most salty way I possibly can, “I'm not sure, but I feel like you're going to tell me...”

“That boy that was fucking you...he has a girlfriend now.”

“SHHH!”

Fuck! I look around. She isn't even whispering. She is about to completely out blow up Dre's entire life and she's doing it with a smile on her fucking face. I can't stand her at that moment. I am tempted to actually grab her and put my hand over her mouth. There are a few kids a few seats down in the laboratory room that I'm in. They are at the windows using telescopes to peer out into the galaxy searching for one thing or the other. If they do hear what Bambi just said they aren't really reacting to it at all.

“Right so riddle me this, batman. Why would a cute guy like him be dating that troll? I don't know her name. I think it's Dalyn, Dorian...”

“Daniella,” I correct her.

“Oh yeah. That bitch. Well funny thing is obsessed with me. She'd do anything to have me acknowledge her. A lot of the lames on this stupid ass space station are like that. What if I told her you guys had the same boyfriend.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I'm sweating at this point. This isn't just about me. This is about Dre. I could be mad at him at this moment but I would never want him outed like that. Daniella knew everyone in our neighborhood and Daniella had a big fucking mouth. She would ruin Dre when we got back to Earth.

I can't do this at this point.

“What do you want?” I finally tell her.

At that moment Bambi realizes she has me. I can tell she has claimed victory because of that sick smile that spreads over her face.

Her skinny finger and long fake finger nail point at me and curl a few times, “Follow me...”

========================================================================

“You know my godmother is Patience Crane.”

“I don't know who that is.”

“Oh god you're such a loser. Patience Crane is a legend. She taught me everything I know. She tells me...you can make anyone see anything you want them to see. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And power is just controlling the lens of those eyes. Speaking of eyes. Change his eye color. Give him come contacts. I want something natural. A light brown. I want him to look exotic...”

Bambi is standing there next to me at that moment. She has her team working on me. They've been working on me for hours. I've fallen asleep and woken up to realize they are still working on me. These people aren't students. These people seem like they are part of the crew or something. At first I recognize some of them were following Mia Laperla around. Bambi may have borrowed some of Mia's glam squad. I'm sure that's what it is now that I've come to think of it.

Before I realize it I'm getting hair cut, manicures, pedicures, teeth whitening, waxing and all this other shit. The pain is something that I have not experienced in my life. I've never done this much manscaping in my life. I didn't think it were possible.

There is a stylist at that moment that brings me all these clothes.

“We need to make him look fierce,” Bambi states, “But masculine at the same time. I want him to the sex appeal of Jax Christopher but the swag of my brother Greg Hampton. I want him to be the the perfect merger of the two.”

“We'll make it happen...” the stylist says.

“You better.”

Bambi is threatening a woman who clearly seems almost twice her age. We are in a part of the space station that I've never seen before. It is close to the laboratory module but of course Bambi and her friends seem to have special access to parts of this ship that no one else does.

I look over at the clothes and I see the price tags.

“Those clothes were brought here?”

“Did you think that there weren't stores on the ship?”

“I mean yeah stores but like for Doritos and like chapstick...”

“Hunny the basics can have their Doritos and chapsticks. I wasn't going to space or anywhere without the possibility of buying labels.”

“I can't afford...any of that...”

I'm being honest. I'm completely broke. Bambi looks me up and down at that moment and then says, “Clearly. Don't worry though. It's me. You're my little project. Here...wear this...”

I change one time and then another time and another time. Bambi is waiting for me outside of the room. When she says that I'm her project she isn't joking. Bambi is literally watching everything that I wear as though she is dressing a doll. It's throws things on the ground when she doesn't want them. She throws things at me when she wants me to try them on. There are two piles of clothing at this point.

The pile of clothing that she wants her Man Doll to wear and the types of clothing that don't make the cut.

“There...that's the look...”

The stylist is looking at me, “Who knew there was a hot boy under all that basic-ness...”

“I fucking did,” Bambi takes credit almost immediately.

Bambi is just staring at me. Her entire team is nodding at their work. I don't know what they see but in a matter of minutes a mirror is rolled out and my mouth drops open.

“Who...the...fuck...is that?” I ask looking at my mirror.

For the entire weekend I'm kept in a different area of the space station Bambi doesn't want me to go back to my room to sleep. She says that all my old stuff will be thrown at anyway whether I like it or not. She says that I won't need them. She says that I'm a new man. I feel kind of taken away from the world. Bambi says she doesn't want me to get distracted by what she refers as the “last seasons”. I don't know what she means by that. Half of the mean girl terms she uses fly right over my head.

I've changed. I know it. I'm don't even feel like the same person.

“Are you ready?” Bambi asks.

It's Monday. I've skipped all my classes for the beginning of the day. We wait ten minutes so that we know that everyone else is in the lunchroom. The lunchroom is the same as it is in every high school even if we were in space. These were the gathering grounds. According to Bambi the lunchroom was the most important place in the school.

“I'm nervous.”

“Get over it,” Bambi replies immediately pulling me forward, “Try not act like a fag...ok sweetie?”

Bambi has me by my hand. She is pulling me into the lunch room at that moment. And at that moment I begin to realize how important this moment is. I mean all the guys on this space station were intimidated by Bambi and no one wanted to approach her. Then all of a sudden here comes a boy who literally seems to drop out of the stars and he's holding Bambi's hand.

The entire cafeteria is watching. People have literally put down their forks. There aren't even that many whispers.

You could drop a pin and hear it.

The only sounds are Bambi's triumphant clicking of Louboutin heels next to me. She is holding my hand and stands straight. I try to stare straight the way Bambi and I rehearsed just yesterday but I can't. I find my eyes turning to find my friends.

There. There she is. Kaysha and Jae Jae are at a table by themselves. Kaysha looks over at me with an open mouth. Jae Jae just looks completley confused at though he's trying to decide it if it is really me or not.

I lean over to Bambi, “Can I go say hi to my friends for a minute?”

“Not now...”

She grabs my hand and pulls me at that moment. I turn and try to wave a little bit to Kaysha. Kaysha is too shocked to even respond. I am following behind Bambi over to the popular table. I'm following her to the table that Jax, Greg, Pia and Chyna have taken reign over. The table sits in the middle of the room so all eyes are on this table.

Bambi gets to the table and looks over at Chyna, “Bitch. Move...”

Chyna gets up from the table almost immediately and leaving space for Bambi and I to sit. I kind of feel bad for Chyna but then I realize she's nothing more than a bitch herself.

“Whose. Is. This?” Greg asks.

He's looking dead in my eyes. He doesn't recognize me.

I don't blame him. My hair has been cut and for once I can actually see my face under all the facial hair. A perfectly lined goatee has been sculpted into my face. It perfectly outlines my face. I have extremely light 'man-makeup' as Bambi likes to call it to contour parts of my face. It's not really noticeable and Bambi says once my skin starts clearing up with the acne routine she gave me I won't need to wear make up at all.

“Mario...” Jax says.

Jax looks at me. He's sitting directly across from me. At that moment I'm blown away that he recognizes who I am. He's looking deep in my eyes. Our eyes connect in the same way that they did back then. He still sees me...even through the transformation...

Pia looks over at Jax, “The same Mario that...”

Jax nods, “Yeah the same Mario.

“What the...” Pia starts off.

She is the most shocked one at the table. She just looks annoyed a little bit. Greg is smiling at me. Jax is even giving me a slight little smile.

“Yo...tell me those pants aren't the Givenchy Cuban Fit Leather Panelled Denim jeans?” Greg asks me.

“Yeah actually they are. The limited edition ones. My shirt is Marc Jacobs. My sneakers are the Salvatore Ferragamo ones...”

“Nayon Gancini?” Chyna asks standing up behind me.

“Yeah those are the ones.”

“I didn't know anyone had those...” Greg replies, “That's fly man.”

Jax is just looking at me from across the table. If Bambi was trying to get a reaction and a grand statement at that moment she is definitely doing the thing.

“Don't forget about your watch baby. It's a Rolex,” Bambi states.

“Baby?” Jax asks.

He seems confused. He looks over at me as though wanting an explanation but this entire thing was rehearsed by Bambi. I wasn't going to ruin her little coming out as of now. It took me forever to memorize all those goddamn labels. I wasn't going to speak when I didn't have to.

Luckily Jax is cut off by Pia who clearly seems to be bothered. She is glaring bullets at me at that moment.

“Aren't you like from the ghetto?” Pia interrupts at that moment.

Bambi smiles at that moment, “Pia that's a nasty word.”

“Yeah Pia what the fuck?” Greg states at that moment, “Who cares where he came from? It's where he's at. Stop being a fucking hater.”

“I'm not hating...I'm just...I mean...what the fuck...just a few days ago...”

Pia is struggling to think of words. The others are clearly looking a little annoyed at her at that moment but Pia is struggling to think of something to say.

“You look nice,” Jax cuts her off mid sentence.

The compliment almost takes my breath away. A part of me wants to thank him and say something nice about him as well. That was the nice part of me but the other part of me is still pissed about the fact that he told Greg that I got hard because of him.

He crossed a line and I just still feel betrayed.

So I try my best to grunt a little, “I know I do.”

He isn't expecting that.

“Confident too. I like him. Why come I never met you Mario?”

Pia is annoyed. She has good reason. Greg was definitely making the most fun of me at the party and then all of a sudden he was catching a convenient case of amnesia. I don't know if it's because he honestly doesn't remember me or if he does actually remember me but he's too ashamed to admit that he was just fucking bullying the guy who has the jeans that he's been wanting.

“You did meet him!” Pia says at that moment, “This is the same guy at the party that you were calling a fag...”

“I say that shit all the time. I don't mean it,” Greg says, “Right Jax.”

“It was still uncalled for,” Jax responds.

Now all of a sudden Jax wanted to stand up for me? I can't stand it.

“Well hey guys. It was nice to re-meet all of you. I actually have to get to class,” I respond.

“We have to chill some time,” Greg tells me.

He's being an ass kisser right now.

“Maybe. I'll see. Hey baby. I'll see you later.”

I lean in at that moment and I give Bambi a kiss. It was planned that I kiss her like this. The kiss is as long as I can make it. I pull her close and make an attempt to make this seem passionate.

=========================================================================

We are in astronomy class class next. Peter has us matching up words and feelings or some hippie type shit. The teacher is like the classic hippie. He's trying to make us really get in touch with our signs and see what they really mean. I find myself returning to my seat next to Jax. I want him to feel uncomfortable with the new me. I want him to squirm.

I can see him trying his hardest not to look over at me. It's not working. He looks over at me through the corner of his eye. I turn my head and almost catch him. He looks down at his paper.

I look down at my paper.

Jax turns again and looks over at me.

“You do look nice, you know that?” he tells me.

“You said that.”

“Look you don't have to be a dickhead about it,” Jax responds, “You always looked fine. I'm not naive like the others. I know what's going on.”

He's whispering to me at that moment. I don't know what Jax is talking about.

“What are you talking about?”

“Bambi is up to something. Admit it.”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I tell him.

Jax looks at me. He leans back in his chair.

“C`mon look at me. What do you see?”

I saw a handsome dream man. He was beautiful. He was everything that someone like me probably ever dreamed about having but would probably never get. He was that unattainable star that you just lusted over in high school but never really had the balls to talk to. He was the guy who had it all. He had the guy who never seemed to lose. He always got exactly what he wanted and more. Jax was EVERYTHING.

I shrug attempting to look as cool as possible, “Just a normal guy.”

I'm lying out of my teeth. I can't even look at him. I'm staring at my assignment burning holes through it and making the hardest attempt to pay attention to what I'm doing.

“Really? Normal huh?”

“I mean. You're ok, I guess,” I reply.

“Whatever. You know what? Whatever I am...I wasn't born this way. They turn you into this. These people. They turn you into it. And every moment you are selling a part of yourself to be that perfect person. You do realize that right?”

I'm a little scared at that moment. I put down my pen. He was making me nervous.

“Jax let's not play this game like you don't have everything that you ever wanted?”

“Is that what you think?” he laughs at that moment, “You were...everything before this. I mean you look nice. Maybe more attractive but you were just as attractive before all of this shit that Bambi did to you...”

“You---you thought I was attractive?”

Was I hearing this right? All of a sudden my heart was in my throat. The boy of my dreams just said that I looked attractive. He wasn't even saying that I looked attractive now with my makeover. He was saying that he was attracted to me before.

“I mean. You were...god...that sounded so gay didn't it?” he asks laughing a little bit.

“No. I mean. It's not gay to say someone is attractive. I mean. I'm not gay and I think you are a very attractive guy. I mean any girl would be lucky to have you. More than lucky...”

I'm looking at him deep in his beautiful eyes. Fuck Jax is sexy. He stare at me with his slightly slanted eyes. His light brown skin seems to glimmer in the artificial light as though he was on a sandy beach. He reflects everything around him. He seems to brighten up my soul just by staring into me. He's reaching parts of me that I don't even know his lips.

We are staring at each other in this class for seconds. It's so strange. It's so fucking sexy how we are doing it.

I see him biting his lower lip at that moment and it DRIVES me fucking crazy as he chews on it clearly getting a little nervous.

“This is awkward,” he laughs a little bit.

His pearly white teeth flash at that moment. Fuck they are beautiful. He is beautiful.

“It is...”

“You're still staring at me like that though...” he says.

“Like what...”

“Like how I'm staring at you,” Jax replies.

I don't know what he means but he's right. I can feel it.

“Ok...you guys can leave now!” Peter announces at the front of the class, “Make sure that you come back on Monday with three pages worth of information regarding your Moon sign.”

People start to leave the class at that moment. Peter interrupting us seems to snap both Jax and I out of this staring contest. We are back in reality now and we aren't looking at one another.

Life seems to go back to normal until that is when Jax grabs me by my hand. He pulls me close. He pulls me really...really fucking close at that moment and whispers into my ear.

“I don't know what she has on you but it's not worth it. Get out...get out while you can.”

The look in Jax's eyes is one of complete fear. He walks out of the room at that moment as quickly as possible...leaving his warning behind.

And his warning is loud and clear.

Get out...get out while I can...

To read the next chapter now go to www.crushedcrown.com