I wanted to write and tell everyone about an exciting time in my life. I have always been interested in control, humiliation, and yes, even financial domination. Being a submissive, and a sissy, it is easy for me to be excited about being controlled, humiliated and taken advantage of. I am not sure where this need comes from, but none the less, it is there, and I do indeed enjoy it on a very deep sexual and emotional level. I find myself now in service to a wonderful Man. He is strong, masculine, handsome, demanding, articulate, and very much in control of His sissy. I met Him some time ago thru the internet and we started chatting. We hit it off immediately. He knew on a gut level what I needed and I knew on the same level that He was the one I had been searching for. It started slowly, but after He asked for and received all of the pictures of myself in various humiliating poses and dress, I knew I was getting in too deep, AND I knew that I did not want to stop.
To say that I found myself in awe of Him would be an understatement the same way that He found me an amusing, week-willed sub species of life. That's not entirely true. I believe He truly cares for me, much the same way a Man would treat a valued and loyal pet. And that is perfect for me.
We do not live together, in fact we do not live in the same city, and very rarely see each other. But I feel closer to Him than anyone in my past. His needs are paramount to mine, I live to serve Him. He is very much in control of my life. I see a text from Him and it will simply read "Report" , and I have to drop what I am doing and explain to Him what I am doing at the moment. He tells me what to wear each day, and while in public, I can still present as a man outwardly, under my clothes I am dressed as He wishes, which is normally in full sissy attire. Pictures are often demanded as proof and I gladly send them.
I must ask for permission to eat and explain what I am going to have. And then wait for His approval. Sometimes I am able to go ahead and eat, sometimes He changes my diet. Today I asked for permission to have granola, blueberries and strawberries and bananas with 2 % milk for breakfast. He told me that that was fine, but He wants me to start losing weight, so He instructed me to not use the milk, and instead send a picture of me pissing in the bowl. How embarrassing! I did as He instructed, and ate my cereal soaking in my warm piss. Believe it or not, it was divine and I was hard all the way thru the meal. I do whatever paperwork He needs done, normally dressed as a secretary in my spare time. It is what He demands whenever I am working for Him. I am always ordered to fill a wine glass with my piss to drink like a proper girl would sip white wine, while I am typing up whatever report or task He has me writing. Sometimes it is His business papers and letters, sometimes it is the drudgery of writing lines. He finds this amusing thinking of me writing: "I love the control Master has over His sissy." 500 times, all the while drinking warm pee. It is very demeaning and humiliating, and of course, I love it. I have an app installed on my phone so that He knows my location every moment of the day. I must tell Him when I leave my house, where I am going, how long I will be, what I will be doing, and when I will be home. While it has not happened yet, He wants me to research house cameras in every room of my house so that He can observe me throughout the day, at His whim. They must be Hi-speed WI-Fi so that He can access them remotely. I am sure that He just wants to make sure that I am dressed as He wants. When I clean my house I must do so wearing a maids uniform. Of course it is a PVC French maid uniform for His amusement.
I have to be up at a certain time of the day, and my bedtime is whenever He determines it to be. SO far I have not had to ask Him to use the little girl's room, but somehow I am sure that is coming. How humiliating to have to ask Him for permission to go potty #1 or potty #2. All of this control excites me to no end. I swell in the chastity that He has me wear 24/7. It is just so frustrating to be so horny but to have my orgasms denied until permission is given. He does let me have relief occasionally if I have been extremely good. In order to be extremely good, I have to pay Him back for all of His control over every aspect of my life.
So far, I am on a weekly retainer. Sort of like a lawyer gets, but I have to send Him money each week for all of the time He has spent on thinking of ways to humiliate me, and amuse Himself. It started low at $50.00 per week. It has since increased until now I find myself sending Him $250.00 every week. I must also send Him $1.00 for every text message we send back and forth. I add them up daily for His amusement and keep a running ledger and pay Him along with my weekly retainer. Somehow this also makes me hard in my cage. Every text makes my little clit twinge in its cage. LOL
When I finally beg for permission to have an orgasm, he will ask me how bad I want to cum. Of course, I want nothing else but to cum. He asks me what it is worth to me, and I have to come up with a dollar amount. That may or not be enough. Sometimes it is, sometimes He tells me to try again. So I do...... and on and on it goes until finally He allows it. All the while the text messages are adding up as well making me even hornier. LOL It is a vicious circle but very exciting for a cash fag like me. If there are any other weirdos out there like me, I would like to hear from You. Keep in mind that any and all correspondence that I get, I have to send to my Master so that He can review it, and let me know if He wants me to answer it or not. Also if You have any humiliating ideas for my Master to consider, please forward those to me as well. I have been having the time of my life. Anybody out there like me??
Sincerely,missy