The 7th Wave By ShamanCola part 1
I found myself wandering down a winding stream. The trees tall on both sides, reminding me that they had been alive way longer then I,
This turned my mind to many thoughts, as I wandered down the winding path that was following the curves of the stream, only interrupted when one of the majestic redwood trees put its foot down and insisted it would stay, my mind finally found itself cornered with the thoughts of, 'who am I?'
'And where was I from?', 'where was I going?', then suddenly the beauty of nature turned pale and the sounds of its expressions faded into a blur. I found a place to rest on a large rock ear a small fall, tired, not from the journey into the woods, but the journey into my mind. Drained of my strength by these unanswerable Questions, I sat there thinking of something I had not looked at quite in this way. As the beauty of the wonders about me fell nearly farther into the far distance as my heart had fallen onto this thought.. 'Where am I going?'.. Or worse! 'What have I done?' 'Not now, not here!' remembering I am a guy, I fought with no results, the tear that was forming, trying to find its way down my cheek. Suddenly looking around me...had anyone seen this, then I remembered. I was alone, tears stinging through the forgotten places, damn it! I am a guy. Guys are not supposed to cry!! Ya right I am a guy, ya....... right!
What have I done! The feeling of jumping up and crashing through the ancient forest overwhelmed me, the trees and underbrush crashing into me, scratching me, cutting into my skin. I some how felt I deserved this punishment. The cool damp forest floor meeting my face. There with all the frustration I screamed, if only in my mind, but angrily... yet quietly muttering, no no it!!! Can't be!
I will not be!!!
No I am not.
Silence,
A word not to be spoken. Not even to be thought...the usual barriers that served me had fallen away and my mind was searching the following weekend looking for something, anything. There must have been at least something to hold onto. There must be one thing in that night to focus on, something to excuse me. Anything............frantically searching, my mind, replaying itself there in the woods.
Not here.
The woods had always been a refuge for me, a safe place from the world, from my mind and all my fears and worries
Not that night!!!!!
My mind loosing this battle and the power the redwoods had over me loosing its battle, I began to vividly replay the last weekend at the beach.
Here I was at the mall my friends with their dates invite me to go along to the beach, to the bon fire. I of course still had not found someone to take, as usual. I looked hesitantly as my friends made it worse by saying "Hey, you might meet a chick there and get lucky, come on man, you gotta go" .
I was always cheered up by my friends and thought 'ya maybe this night would be different', and then I thought it wouldn't. At least it wasn't the mall, being my most un-favorite place, however finding myself there often. There at the mall, always with the guys, but hoping she would show,
Judi. Well I called her 'Jude' for short... like one would need to shorten such a short name, but she was my bud, and we were almost inseparable. Often mistaken as girlfriend/boyfriend and often teased, but it didn't matter. We were best buds; she would often make those long boring times at the mall go buy like a dream, we always teased her because her parents were old hippies. Going over to her house was like stepping back into the 60's. She would just shrug it off, but maybe her family was part of where she got the different way of approaching everything. There was no way of not having fun when she was around. Would she be there? At the bon fire? I hope so.
I hadn't seen her for three days. She would always say this, usually at lunch hour..."Man I can't take this, I'm gonna split, are you going with?" " Ya right my parents would kill me." I'd say, and then off she would go. As night approached I knew the guys were gona show up looking for me, and we would go two the beach, Ok, how do you describe this feeling? You are smashed into the back seat of one of your friends parents car with five guys, and the driver has had his license for less then a week. And he has this idea that his parents Chevy Chevette can leave burn marks into the pavement at each street light, even though each time he tries, there is only this slight scratching sound, followed by laughter... and the guys yelling what the hell do you call that? However, he would try again at the next light.
What fun right? At least the beach was only a few miles, and maybe with luck we would make it alive. OK well, I have to say, it was kinda fun, mixed with the feeling of being crushed to death in an overloaded car. Damn it Jude you had better show. As we arrive in the dirt parking lot filled with cars, they scream with anticipation. Knowing their girlfriends would be there already, I roll my eyes as I know I am in for another night of watching them hang all over their girlfriends, while I just have to feel like a third wheel. What fun.
Damn it, three days. Jude, were the hell are you.
Three days is the usual time you disappear. Then you return with stories I usually regret having to hear. Man, right now I would beg to hear one of what I would call her misadventures.
The bon fire is already going strong, surrounded by people 'shockan a beer'. It took me a while to learn that they were not saying 'shocka a beer', they were shot gunning a beer. Well you live and learn. I had to learn I had that the wrong way only after I heard it from someone that was not 'shockan a beer'. Well, I would try it but I am not fond of throwing up in front of all my friends, so I always make my self scarce during the shocka fest.
JUDE! There she was damn it! There is a god. I will make it through the night. What the hell have you done to your head? Oh who cares, there she was...with long braided purple extensions, and some kinda outfit I will not go into...other then to say, "WHAT THE HELL!
Did you raid your parents closet?" Well, it doesn't matter. After we hug (me making it look like I am dying all the while...I am so happy she is there), I ask "So what did you do this time." She started to tell me when a roar of testosterone from the guys at the bon fire drowns out her voice.
We went up to the fire to join the others. I sat down. As always, Jude would sit next to me. It was a comfort to have a girl by my side even if she wasn't my girlfriend. I looked around the fire and it was the same usual group. I saw no one new, it wasn't a large town and everyone knew everyone else.
Some times kids from neighboring towns would show up and add a new interest to the night. It looked like this weekend night would be the same old trip, well at least it was still unusually warm and I liked it that way. It would make the long walk down the beach that much nicer,
I usually took this walk to take a break from all the hooting and hollering,
This usually started after most at the bon fire would have a good buzz going,
However it was the ocean the waves the moon light that the others seemed two miss, that called me on those long summer walks along the shore
More logs were tossed in the fire and little sparks drifted inland in the summer breeze, this drew my eyes up two the two figures making there way down the side of the cliff,
I strained to make them out, as they got closer I could see it was another couple however I did not recognize them. 'Oh good', I thought, 'someone new'. They hesitated as they neared the circle of friends, looking for a welcome when Jude spotted them. Taking a break from her long story the girl sitting next to her was unfortunate enough to have had to endure, she jumped up and introduced herself. This broke the ice, and soon the couple felt right at home. I caught myself staring at them wondering if they were boyfriend/girlfriend or not. I fantasized they might be brother and sister and Maybe the guys would be right about this night, and thought she was cute, when I saw the new guy had noticed I was staring. I quickly turned my focus to the fire feeling a little embarrassed when it hit me. Who was he? There was something familiar about him. Had I seen him before? No, that wasn't it. Did he look like someone I knew? No, that wasn't it either, so carefully peeking over to get another look,
Shit! He was still looking at me!
Quickly I turned my gaze back to the fire, I thought, 'you did it now, the only new people on the beach, and the guy caught me sizing up his girl friend'. I swear I can screw up anything even something as simple as sitting by a bon fire, I wondered if he was still staring at me, so I took another glance. What a relief he wasn't... so I took the opportunity to stare at him for a while. What was it about him, I just couldn't put my finger on it. He sure was cute though. THAT IS IT I AM OUTTAHERE. To be continued: If you liked or not let me know at zowell@mindspring.com Thanks ShamanCola/Zowell