Sex and the Baron, rough intro part 1
By Kalibast, copyright 2013
Contains homosexual, and heterosexual, sex, nudity, magic, violence, intrigue, and philosophy. Entertainment purposes only. If this shit isn't legal for you to read, why the fuck are you here? Exclusive permission granted to nifty.org - please donate.
Intro, part 1:
"Why do you disturb me?! You know I am at my rest!"
"Sorry, milord, there is a peasant at the gate, bloody and burnt, with urgent news."
Gods be damned, why does this always happen while I am fucking the twins? "Okay wenches, get off me, the gods call me to less ... pleasurable ... action. Enter!"
The chamberlain opened the door to his master's bedchambers, and said, "Milord, I fear you must be quick, the peasant wretch at the gate appears to be dying." The chamberlain stepped aside as the two luscious naked twins bounced past him into the corridors of the manse.
Sighing, "So be it." With a twist of his fingers the Lord Baron Anaximander pinched out of sight, appearing simultaneously at the entry to his manse, the huge iron gates standing closed, the night breezes caressing the wet skin of his nude flesh with a sudden chill.
Nothing was to be seen but the flat expanse of lawn and road outside his gates, lit with flickering torches. Few in the country knew the torches never needed changing.
"What the hell, no one waits dying -- oh --" and with another twist Anaximander's still naked form appeared at the postern gate, his deflating penis yet glistening, among half a dozen of his Silent retainers crowded around the still smoking and blooded body of the recently deceased peasant.
The gods think I am bored this evening, I see. Alas, the twins do grow tiresome after these months, but this interruption is still unwelcome. Now I suppose they expect me to question this corpse, spending time and effort to learn his message, instead of returning to my rest. Very well, let's see if we can't piss them off.
"Put the body in my second floor lab, I will deal with this in the morning."
"milord, milord," the gasping chamberlain came running up to the small gathering, calling for his masters attention. "don't you think this should be tended to immediately?"
"For three years you have served me and you still don't know better than to dispute me." It wasn't a question. With a small sigh of disappointment, Anaximander caused the intestinal flora of his chamberlain to begin replicating exponentially.
Dismissing his soon to be dead chamberlain from his mind completely, he turned to the still silent, if wide-eyed, men standing around the spot where the body had lain. Several men had made to follow their lord's orders and had already carried away the corpse.
Looking over the remaining men, he picked the most handsome and clear eyed, and with another small gesture he spoke, "I return your voice, Michael."
At that moment the swelling, screaming chamberlain burst, spewing putrescence in a huge explosion of gut bacteria, covering the men, the ground, and the still naked form of the Baron Anaximander.
Seemingly without notice, the Baron continued, "you are my new chamberlain. Attend."
Dripping ichor, ignoring the vomiting men and an odor most would not hesitate to call unpleasant, he waited for a response from his new chamberlain.
"Yes, milord? How may I serve?" Michael managed through clenched teeth. He thought the lord must have granted me strength, along with my voice. Blessed is my lord Anaximander.
"Good. Come with me." yet another small gesture left the two men, chamberlain and Baron, alone in the Baron's sleeping chambers, still redolent with the odor of sweat and passion.
Both men appeared without evidence of ever having been tainted by the touch of ichor. In fact, the chamberlain would later discover a complete lack of dirt under his fingernails, lice in his hair, or even stains in his breeches.
It would appear the Baron's method of transport has many benefits.
"The night is still young, my new chamberlain. Put your voice to use and tell me if the wretch at the gate had anything to say before he expired."
"Yes, milord. No, milord."
"That's unfortunate. I really hate jumping the hurdles the gods lay before me for their entertainment. What other reason than their amusement would the peasant have for dying before relaying his message?"
"I don't know, milord."
"I did not expect you to. Strip."
"yes, milord." with well practiced efficiency the Chamberlain was naked in just a few seconds. This command was one of the most common to come direct from the baron, and the house retainers' clothes were designed with this in mind.
"Now. Your mouth."
Michael began kneeling on the stone floor of the Baron's chamber to attend to his master's wishes once more. Before his knees could touch the stone a thick pad of scented carpets appeared, cushioning him. In the scores of times Michael had performed this duty, this was the first time such a thing had happened. Ah, the benefits of being chamberlain are many. Blessed is my lord Anaximander.
Almost as soon as he he took the flesh of his lord into his mouth, Michael stopped and pulled away, with a finger raised in a gesture he had never before made, but with which he was quite familiar: chamberlain asking his lord for a moment's patience. With his index finger raised he cocked his head to the side, receiving a message from one of the house men still near the postern gate.
He stood and addressed his lord formally, fully assuming his new role as Voice for the staff, "milord, the men tell me the putrescence is growing, threatening to overwhelm their attempts to burn it back."
"Ah yes, the old chamberlain's punishment. Very well. Continue."
With a look intended to express his gratitude for the cushion, Michael returned to his position on his knees in front of his lord, taking his cock into his mouth with a familiar suction.
In just a moment, as his lord's cock was coming to attention, he experienced another first: his lord twisted out of existence while still being sucked. Almost before Michael could process what had occurred his lord was back, cock once again rising in Michaels waiting mouth.
Apparently dealing with the exponentially growing blob of gut bacteria hadn't taken the Baron long. Blessed is my lord. ......... Chapter .........
The following morning Michael awoke for the first time he could remember in a warm bed, cupped against the body of his master. Opening his eyes he nearly screamed when he discovered the body lacked a head, and was entirely the wrong color. Luckily the years of not having the ability to make a sound had blunted this particular reflex, as indeed being a member of this particular household may have.
Gathering his wits he pulled slowly away from the light green homunculus he was cradling, and looked around the chamber. The Baron was sitting in a lounger by the window, staring at the heavy opaque curtains as if looking across his lands. For all Michael knew this was entirely possible. Resolving to do his normal efficient job as a member of his masters household, no matter how unusual the new titles' rewards were proving, Michael tried to slip unobtrusively from among the bedcovers.
The Baron Anaximander, however, had expected Michael to awaken, and noticed the movement despite Michaels best attempt at silence.
"Ahh, Chamberlain, I see you have finally awoken. I must have a fever but you were so comfortable holding me in your arms this morning I decided to produce that homunculus to avoid disturbing your rest when I got up."
"I will send for a Surgeon, at once, milord." Michael squinted a little as he attempted to mentally contact one of the Medical College's receptionists in the capitol city, Blanista.
With a wince of sudden pain quickly gone he realized his lord had been joking about the fever.
"Yes, milord, very funny, milord, I am sorry, milord, thank you, milord."
The Baron looked a little disappointed at this, but apparently decided to let it pass.
"Go, introduce yourself to the house as the new chamberlain, see if any messages have arrived, prepare the second floor lab for me, acquire food and Sisal wine, tell the gardeners we will have blue flowers in the north gardens today, and white in the south. You may tell them what you wish about the courtyard. Bring sweat tea, and cold water, to the lab, yourself." All of this in a smooth liquid rush of instructions, from master to servant, without pause or break for air.
Michael memorized the list, verbatim, with ease. More benefits of being chamberlain! With a gesture of subservience and a slight bow Michael backed one step from his lord, and turned to perform his duties.
Watching the firm naked backside and broad shoulders of his departing new chamberlain, Anaximander thought, nice ass. This may be my best Voice yet. Shaking himself from his reverie, Anaximander wondered what was coming over him. He had been joking about having a fever, but it was strange: the knee cushion was not terribly unusual when he used his chamberlain thus, but to craft a homunculus to avoid disturbing the sleep of anyone, because they looked comfortable-nay, adorable -- no less?!
Reminded of the homunculi he glanced at the bed, and saw the still breathing blue man-body where he had created it. Well, no sense wasting it, he thought, as he moved toward the end of the bed and pulled the headless thing by the hips up onto its knees, and rubbed his as yet flaccid penis along the shallow crack of the homunculi's backside. As if by that very touch the homunculi's flesh began to shape itself into the deeper crack, and warm waiting hole, it's creator was seeking.
Please comment if you can. I am considering continuing this story if I get positive feedback. Xalseqsn a t gmail d o t cum
- John