The Sexual Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,
Part 07
Written by nick55 'at' kansas.net
This is a story based loosely on characters created by Samuel Clemens (better known as Mark Twain) circa 1884. The plot borrows from "Further Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Australian author Gregg Matthews (Crown Publishers, 1983, now out of print in USA but available on the net from Barnes & Noble). Apologies are extended to any heirs of Mr. Clemens or Mr. Matthews who might read this.
In this story, Huck is 16, and the story takes place in 1849.
Matt and I had nearly finished putting up posters for the McSween travelling church meeting when we were stopped by a very authoritative voice.
"Hold it boys!"
I turned around to see a big man with a big mustache and a sheriff's badge on his shirt.
"Don't think I've seen you two in town before." Then he seen our posters and took a good look. "So," he continued, "you boys work for the McSweens. You travel with them?" He seemed to be addressing me, so I replied.
"Yes sir."
"Then you'll know exactly where they're at. You mounted?"
"Got our horses up the street," I answered.
"Then let's take a little ride."
When we got to the camp, Mordecai was the first to see the sheriff, and he acted even oilier than usual. "Well, sheriff! This is an unexpected pleasure."
"Unexpected, I don't doubt, but I reckon it's no pleasure," says the sheriff. "Reckon you expected to find the same sheriff as last year, but we've had an election since then. Folks seem to want more law and order and to keep things decent now. I think you know what I'm talkin' about, but I'll make it plain. You can hold your meeting, but the entertainment's got to be limited to preaching and singing. If those wagons are rocking, I'll be knocking, and you'll be spending time in the county jail on charges of prostitution. Why you should be ashamed having these boys promote such a thing. These boys don't even shave yet! They kin of yours?"
"The blonde one is my nephew. The dark haired one joined us awhile back."
The sheriff turned to me. "Where you from?" he asked.
"Deer Falls, Ohio, " I answered.
"Did you run away from home?" the sheriff asks.
"No sir, I'm an orphan," I replied, glad it was the truth as far as I knew 'cause I was sure that sheriff would've known a lie.
"Well, there's decent folk, and honest decent work in Torrance, if you're interested. I advise you to put some distance between yourself and these folks."
"Thank you, sheriff, I'll think on it."
"See that you do! And Mordecai - I reckon you're Mordecai - remember: preaching and singing, nothing more!" With that, the sheriff turned and rode away.
That was Wednesday. As soon as I could, I told Jesse and Jimmy what I'd learned about the McSweens. The brothers were for leaving right then, and forget the wages McSween had promised, but I'd promised Matt could come with us. Matt felt obligated to stay through Friday to see how things went. He pointed out that he might need me and Jesse to help guard the girls and to turn away men that would be expecting business as usual.
Thursday come all gloomy and dismal with the sheriff's warning hanging over us. By and by, Phineas suggested we just avoid Torrance and head south. So Matt and the brothers had to go back into town to take down our posters. I didn't want to risk the sheriff recognizing me as the wanted Huck Finn, so I stayed in camp. As it turned out, that was nearly as dangerous, but for other reasons.
I'd been brushing one of the horses when Mordecai came up to me.
"You're in serious danger, boy."
"What kind of danger?" I asked, worried that maybe the sheriff remembered my face and came back to see if I could be Huck Finn.
"I've seen the evil in you and there is only one way to avoid the demons the Black Master has planted. His worm has found its way into your young body. Its poison must be sucked out before it can overwhelm you. Only I can perform this service. Place yourself in my hands. Let me grant you blessed relief." Down he goes on his knees and flings his arms around me. Now he's feeling my ass with one hand and trying to pull my pants down, and with his other hand he's trying to get my pants buttons undone.
I seen the kind of "relief" he means to give me, but he weren't my type, besides, any of the girls might have seen us, so I struggled to get away. I didn't want to tear my britches, and I didn't want Mordecai finding my money belt either, so I couldn't squirm too much.
If you've ever seen a curry comb you know they tend to be a series of toothed metal bands looped into a handle. It was the only weapon I had so I raked the preacher with it. He let go, but I didn't have room to run yet.
"You're not cooperating, you mischievous child!" he chastised me, coming at me again.
"Reverend. It's Satan! He's right behind you!"
It never would've worked with someone else, but Mordecai took the bait and spun around, crying "No, no. I never touched him. You can't take me."
I ran for my horse, swung on, and galloped toward town. Matt, Jesse, and Jim were due back any time now, so I knew I ought to find them on the road.
I found Jesse and Jim first. We road back to camp, got the rest of our few belongings, and bid goodbye and good riddance to the McSweens. It grieved me some that Matt wouldn't be joining us after all, but fickle fate went and sat on that plan.