Okay, here we go again. :) Yeah, I know that that's a *Nsync song, but whatever.
Disclaimer: Do I have to do this? Alright, this story is purely fiction. I do not know (personally) the Backstreet Boys, nor own them nor anything like that. However, if you do, please email me and I will try to suck up to you so that I can get to know them (personally). If you are breaking a law by being here, get out. If you are offended by homosexual themes, get out. There.
Well now. Haven't got much to say... so y'all better be glad. Just want to shout out my thanks to Matt, Colleen, Shawn and all the other fab people who have been mailing me. And special thanks to Shaun, and David, again, for posting my story. And of course to all the wunnerful pple who have been emailing me. In case you don't know, I LOVE feedback. Yeah. That's about it.
Stories I like (aka stories that you should read... ;]) Affirmation, Brian and Me, Search and Rescue, Open your Eyes, Dirty Mind Games, Little White Lies, Love you Hate you Get lost, Superman Can't Fly, Bsb-Nsync Chronicles, Desperate Measures, Eternally Yours, Blissful Tears, Any Path Trilogy, The One, Slow Down My Beating Heart, When My Pretty Boy Sleeps, D-Evolution.. and many more~
Oh, yeah, I wanna say thank ew to all the writers who've mentioned my story in their own.
Now on with the show!
Nick entered the room cautiously, hoping that both Brian and Kevin weren't there. Brian, for the very obvious reason of not wanting to face his straight love who couldn't reciprocatehis love (he'd assumed that Brian was straight, but given what AJ'd said to him, he wasn't so sure anymore), and Kevin, for the very simple reason that he was late. His wish was fulfilled on one count. Kevin was even later than him. However, Brian was there, joking around with Howie and AJ. Nick entered, face towards the floor, not wanting to look at Brian and know that he'd most probably never get him. There was a slight pause, so slight that it almost seemed natural, in Brian's speech, that almost no one noticed, when Nick walked in.
"Hey, aren't those Kevin's clothes?" asked AJ. Trust him to know who would wear what, thought Nick to himself.
"Yeah, I kinda forgot to bring over some of my clothes the other day, so I just rummaged through the guest cupboard and put these on. Kevin's clothes were the only ones that could fit me."
Howie and AJ looked at each other as they saw the look on Brian's face. AJ shrugged as Howie questioned him with his eyes, then gave an inward sigh. He hated keeping secrets from anybody, but Nicker's being gay was onte that had to be kept. It was a matter of honour, even though he suspected that he would be somehow dealt with when it was finally out that Brian, too, was gay, and in love with Nick, by the looks of things. Just then, Kevin walked in, and everyone mentally heaved a sigh of relief. Big Daddy was here, and they could go on entrusting eveything to him. Everything would be okay. Then AJ noticed the look on Kevin's face. No, it wasn't that look, was it? But it was. Cleverly concealed, one could still see traces if one knew what one was looking for, or if one was familiar enough with it. Kevin was clearly hungover. Now Kevin's got the bug too, thought AJ. Maxine's voice echoed in his head. "You sure are a problematic bunch." Especially since Kevin never drank unless!
something big was brewing.
"Alright people, we've gotta start now. Here's some songs, could you go over them, then we'll all go over the songs that you wrote yourselves." their manager said. They all crowded into the booth.
When they were finally let off, it was way past lunch and they were ravenous. All except for Kevin. He mumbled something about a meeting and went off. Howie gave AJ a what's-with-him look, but AJ shrugged. He didn't know everything. Meanwhile, Brian and Nick were still kind of tense around each oher, but since they both were too preoccupied with the front they were putting up, they did not notice the other fidgeting as well. AJ nodded at Howie. Howie nodded back. Silent messages were passed all round.
"Hey Bri, let's go get some food. AJ, you coming?" said Howie.
"No, I wanna talk to Nick 'bout something. You go on ahead."
"Alright then. Come on, Bri." Brian dutifully tagged along behind the older man. No one noticed the backwards glance he gave to Nick as he went out the door.
Nick looked curiously at AJ as Brian and Howie excited the room. "Well?" he asked.
"Firstly, I think that we should go over to your house and pick up some of your clothes. Can't have you running around in other people's clothes, can we? Then we could like move some of your clothes to my place, and then we'll see."
"Sounds like something to do. Not that we don't have anything much else on our schedule. Do we?"
"Nah, that was all for today. But when they pick up the momentum, I don't think you'll have time for all this anymore. And besides, I think it'll be your last chance with Maxine today. She'll be leaving the day after, and we're busy the next two days."
"Hey, since when did you know the details of our schedule so well?"
"Since this morning, when Train decided to be late. I thought to look at the schedule to see if he was doing anything besides being with us at the studio."
"Alrighty then, let's go!"
"We'll have to take your car. Howie took mine."
"I didn't have my car at your house."
"Shit. We'll have to take the limo then. Always draws too much attention."
"Or we could take a cab."
"Or I could drop you off." came another voice. It was their manager. "Nicker's house, innit? Come on."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Kevin, of course, didn't have a meeting to go to. He had wanted to escape from the tension in the room, especially between Brian and Nick, as their body language broadcasted everything they felt for each other to everyone in the room except for themselves. It was just torturing him when he knew that the one he loved would never love him. Well, maybe not never. If he found a way to get to Brian before Nick did, he would be home safe. What am I doing? he graoned to himself. This is my cousin and his best friend, my little brother, that we're talking about. How can I do this to them? And I would be commiting incest! THat wa ther first time that had crossed his mind. Then he immediately put it out of his mind, rationalising that they were cousins, not brothers, not blood brothers, anyhow. He could certainly rmemeber a few other marriages that were between cousins. He put his head into his hands, wondering what to do, and was startled by the phone ringing next to him.
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Maxine, I'm looking for Alexander. I'm his cousin, y'know, the one who you met, or sort of met, the time y'all busted in looking for Brian?"
"Oh. Wait a minute, how'd you get this number?"
"Oh, Alexander just gave it to me and told me how to pass all the security stuff. So, where's Alexander, or AJ, as you seem to like calling him so much?"
"Actually he'd better known as Bone in the group, and he left with Nick not long ago."
"Damn! Oh well, I'll just have to call him on his cell then. Been nice hearing you. Really. By the way, you're Kevin, aren't you? One piece of advice. Loosen up. Alex says that you're working them all to death." The sound of laughter travelled over the phone. "Okay, bye now. See ya when I see ya next!" She hung up the phone.
Kevin stared at the receiver dumbly. He wondered when was the last time he heard laughter. Oh yeah, at the party last week. And he wondered when was the last time he heard real laughter. Too long ago. There were no more Frick and Frack jokes ever since they started being like that. He looked at himself in the plastic window in front of him, and he was surprised for a moment when for an instant he saw AJ behind him in the reflection. But that was for an instant only. And furthermore, when he turned around and hunted up all possible hiding places, not that there were very many in the room, AJ was nowhere to be found. Kevin decided to go to the bathroom to check what the damage was. Looking at himself in the mirror, he noticed the bloodshot eyes and haggard appearance that AJ had noticed earlier. He wanted very much to cry, but knew that if he started, he would end up on the floor, consoling himself with the weird thought that Nick had not only taken his Brian away, he was ! slowly taking everything of his away too. Like the clothes today. He shook his head, giving himseld a small sad smile. "I must be going mad." he thought. He looked at the mirror one last time and decided to go home before breaking down.
On the other end of the phone, Maxine dialled AJ's number and waited. And dialled it and waited. And did it again and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally she gave up, and scribbling a note, hurridly left the house, locking everything up. "Don't worry, I'll be back." she consoled the whining dogs and bustled into the cab. The cab drove off, scattering the pigeons as it squealed around the corner.
"Yoo-hoo! Max, we're back!"
"Max?"
AJ turned to Nick. "Since when did she allow you to call her Max?"
"Erm, since last night?"
"Oh. It's just that she only lets certain people call her that. So it's sort of an honour."
"Oh. I see."
"Anyway. Max!" Nick ambled into the kitchen, as AJ ascended the stairs.
"Hey, Bone, come down here. Max left a note, and since it's addressed to you, you should look at it."
"Since when did you get so polite?"
"Never did. Already read the note."
"Aw shit. Wonder what the emergency meeting was about."
"Most probably her work, I suppose. Got anything to eat?"
"Dunno, can you cook?"
"Nope. Wanna try?"
"No thank you. How does Macs sound?"
"Sure. Let's go."
Howie studied Brian over the top of the latter's burger, until Brian asked him what he wanted.
"Nothing. Just wondering what you were thinking about just now when you smiled so sweetly." Brian blushed. He had been thinking about Nick. Then he quickly composed himself.
"That's none of your business."
"Okay."
The rest of the meal passed by in silence.
So Max was gone. And now he could only confide in AJ. Sigh. Nick played on his PS II, stealing occasional glances at Brian as the latter tried to write a song. Unfortunately, it wasn't going anywhere Brian wanted, and finally, frustrated, he stood up and announced that he was going for a walk. No one said anything. AJ merely looked up from his book, then at Howie, who was busy with one of his compositions also, and then down at his book again. Howie merely nodded, and Nick didn't even acknowledge that he had heard anything. Kevin wasn't present, he still hadn't come back from his meeting. Or maybe he was doing something else. "Oh well," muttered Brian under his breath as he strolled out of his house. Why couldn't he just have told somebody about Nick? Of course not Nick. Not AJ either, he had been too close to Nick the past few days, or was it weeks? Not Kevin. He couldn't be trusted not to overreact. Not Maxine either, she left already, as AJ had told him earlier when he had ! asked after her. That left only Howie. The peacemaker. Well, at least he could always bring down any forest fires in the group. Brian smiled to himself and walked home. He needed to tell somebody.
Kevin looked disconsolately at himself in the mirror. He had finally stopped crying. "Ah, shit." He put on a CD and thumped his foot to the beat, recognizing it as "I'll Be Your Secret", which seemed oddly fitting, not only to what was happening between Nick and Brian, if what Howie said was correct, but to himself as well. He was his own secret.
"Howie, could I talk to you for a moment?"
"Yes?"
"Erm, could we like just go for a walk, or something? Sorry guys, but this is sort of between us." AJ flashed a quizzical look at Howie, who responded with a shrug. Nick seemed to barely acknowledge Brian's presence again. In truth, he was itching to know too, what Brian would devulge to Howie, and Howie alone, not to his best friend too. Then it struck him. His best friend. How long had it been since they last were Frick and Frack? He lifted his head momentarily and said, "Whatever it is, you make sure you tell me later, 'k Frick?"
"Erm, I'll have to see about that. Catch ya later, Frack." the warm blue eyes found themselves in contact with the slightly unfocused blue-grey ones, and turned towards the chocolate ones of the man next to him. "Come on, Howie."
"Well, what is it?"
"Thing is, ah shit, let's go back to the house. I wouldn't want to be caught dead saying this and having anyone else hear it but you."
"Alright." smiled Howie, lifting one eyebrow in puzzlement.
They entered by the back door, unseen and unheard by the occupants in the front.
"Okay, don't get freaked out, I think I'm in love with... with... Nick." the last word came out as a whisper, barely heard.
"What?"
"I told you not to freak out!"
"No, I just couldn't hear what you said."
"Oh. I said that I was in love with, well, Frack."
"Well, well, well, that was within our expectations."
"Huh?" Brian's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Whaddya just say?"
"I said, me and AJ, we were kinda expecting it, and I told Kev, so, yeah, he should be alright with it, thought he didn't say nothing 'bout it." Brian just stood there with his mouth wide open.
Ok, that's all folks. I'm really sorry to all the pple who I sorta promised that Brian and Nick would be together by now, but you just gotta let the story write itself. Besides, if I didn't post this by today, Shaun would have my head. Or at least he wouldn't keep to his promise. So it was really one way or the other. And being the selfish cretin I am, I decided to deprive all you good people of the satisfaction of knowing about Nicky and Brian. Yeah. And so, the two questions that I shall leave burning into your brains are: When the hell are Brian and Nick gonna get together? And just what the hell was 'AJ' doing behind Kevin in his reflection?
Yeah. Oh, and any comments, suggestions, food, parcels, cash, cheque or money orders or even the Backstreet Boys, preferbably naked heh heh are to be sent to de_vil@2die4.com. Peace out!~ MJ