This is the next installment of SIMPLY WORDS, my fantasy with boy band BOYZONE member, STEPHEN GATELY. Again I would like to remind you that this is just a fantasy and none of these events ever happen. Although the first part of the composition stated that it was written before STEPHEN GATELY had came out last June of 1999, this part was written after he came out.
If you are a minor, you know the rule. Please don't read this and find something more suitable for you age. If you're a bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay. I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open mind
I always hope that this fantasy of mine would become a reality but until then... well. This is the first explicit story I've ever written. I would gladly receive any constructive criticism about this composition. My e-mail is j_andrew_andy@yahoo.com and if another fan of Boyzone is reading this short story, could you provide me with MR. STEPHEN GATELY'S e-mail address? Thanks, I would greatly appreciate it!
This story contains the songs. The first one is "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins, which was featured in the movie "Against All Odds".
SIMPLY WORDS
-------------------- C h a p t e r 10 --------------------
As Mikey sat next to me on the bed trying to comfort me, Ronan nervously paced around the room. The rest of the boys went out to search and locate Stephen if he was still within hotel premises. "How did Stephen do it?" Ronan was baffled. "How on earth could Stephen get out of the room with out us knowing."
"He must have slipped out the room when were down in the lobby." Mikey offered.
"It's all my fault!" I cried. "We could have avoided all these problems if I just... I just..."
"Don't be too hard on yourself. These things happen." Mikey told me, squeezing my hands and patting my shoulder. Then he shrugged. "Of course, this is something new but I know we can solve this problem, somehow."
"Well, I hope so." I replied.
Then the door burst opened with Shane, Keith and Jerry rushing in the room. "So were you able to locate Stephen." Mikey stood up in anxiety and anticipation. "Is he still inside the hotel?"
They shook their head. Keith said sadly. "We can't seem to find him."
"DAMNED BLOODY HELL!!!" Shane angrily banged his fist on the concrete wall. "WHERE THE HELL IS STEPHEN!!!"
"He's definitely not in this hotel." Jerry told us. "I don't know how but he must have been able to pass through security."
"Well, we have to get going." Ronan looked worried. "The concert has to start by 6:00 PM."
"But,..." Shane protested. "But, we can't start without Stephen."
"Yeah! I have to side with Shane on that." Keith agreed, nodding profusely. "We just can't start the concert without Stephen! The audience will be looking for him."
"Well, there's nothing more we can do!" Mike replied, shaking his head. "We have no other choice, the show must go on, you know."
"Hello?!!" Keith argued. "Wouldn't the fans notice that Stephen isn't there on stage?"
I was quietly thinking a way to help the boys get out of this difficult situation. Finally reaching an inspiration, I told them. "Wait, I have an idea."
All of their eyes were focused on me, as if waiting for some kind of salvation. "What is it?" Ronan hastily asked. "What do we have to do?"
"Well, since Stephen is nowhere to be found, we could tell the audience that he is not feeling well tonight." I explained my idea to them. "Tell them, that he's presently recuperating from a fever and is presently exhausted. Tell them that Stephen is in the hotel right now but he sends his love to all the fans..." I looked at their tired faces and quickly added. "...Meanwhile, I will search for Stephen in the city."
"NO!" Ronan exclaimed. "No! I don't want another person lost in Hong Kong."
"But this might be the only way to find him!" I stood my ground. "Right now, he might still be nearby. Stephen couldn't have much of a head start!"
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Ronan asked me, doubting. "Right now, Stephen has disappeared and I don't need you running around the city without any clue where you're heading! Hong Kong is a very big city, you have to remember that!"
"We don't have any other choice." I explained my side to Ronan. "It's better this way. I definitely know Stephen is not thinking clearly tonight. If we don't find him soon, something terrible might happen to him."
"Ronan, I have to support Andy on that idea." Mikey nodded with approval. "We need to find Stephen tonight. You said it yourself, Hong Kong is a very big metropolis. It's simply not safe for Stephen to go wandering around. And with him not thinking clearly, it's even more hazardous for him to be walking on the streets."
"Me, too." Keith replied. "I have to agree with Andy and Mikey."
"Ronan?..." I looked for his approval.
"No!" He said firmly. "You're not even familiar with this city. How do you expect to find Stephen if you,..."
"I will go with him!" Jerry interrupted.
"Jerry, you know the city?" Ronan asked with concern.
"No,..." Jerry shook his head. "But at least two heads are better than one."
"Ronan..." I tried to get his approval.
Ronan thought silently for some time. Still pacing around the room, Ronan seemed to be buried deep in his thought. "Ronan?..." I call out to get his attention. "Ronan, I really need to have your approval on this... please."
He then looked at me and grudgingly gave in. "Okay, do what you have to..." He paused then continued. "But if you can't find him by 9:00 tonight, please go directly to the concert hall. I don't want both of you to get lost here. We can resume the search after the concert, together."
After the boys had left the room, I quickly got a map of Hong Kong out of my knapsack and studied the locations and landmarks carefully. "Jerry..." I called out for him, still staring down at the map. "Where do you think Stephen would go when he gets angry or sad."
"Well, this is a new one." He replied, sighing loudly. "I've never seen him this way before. He had never acted like this."
"So, I guess we have no choice but to start from scratch." I sighed still scanning the map for something useful. Then, I stopped and thought carefully. Again I called Jerry's attention. "Wait! Doesn't Stephen have a thing for Disney?"
Jerry thought for a while and livened up. "YES!" He brightly answered. "Yes! Yes, I believe so!"
"Good!" I said as I took my bag. "Let's get moving."
We left the hotel and hurriedly went over to Toy-R-Us. At around 7:15 PM, we arrived at the toy store and started searching for Stephen. I directly went to the stuffed toys while Jerry decided to talk with some of the store personnel. Anxiously, I looked for him but to no avail. I can't seem to find him inside the toy store. I began to look for Jerry, hoping very much that he has found some signs of Stephen. Then, I found him talking with one of the salesperson. I approached to them and asked Jerry. "So, were you able to find him?"
He finished his conversation with the salesperson. "Andy, there's good news and bad news. Good news is that he had been here."
"And the bad news?" I asked Jerry, excitedly.
"Unfortunately, he left at around 6:45PM." He told me.
"This is just great!" I cried out loud in exasperation. "It's already 7:20PM!"
Shaking my head, I was already discouraged. I have already lost hope in ever finding him. My eyes began to flow tears. "Oh, Andy, I'm so sorry." He came to me and hugged me. "Come on, don't cry. I'm confident we will find Stephen before the night is out."
"It's all my fault!" I said as I wiped the tears of my eyes. "I shouldn't have let him go!"
"It's not your fault. You were angry and hurt." He told me softly. Then he squeezed my hand to encourage me. Then he gave a smile. "Now come on, wipe those tears away. You don't want him to see you all messed up when we find him. I mean, you should look your best when he sees you, isn't that right?"
I smiled back. Gaining my confidence back, I had a sudden surge of power and energy rushing in my system.
We continued our search for my Stephen. Yet everywhere we went, there was no sign of him. Each store we visited diminished my force. At about nine o'clock, I decided that Jerry and I needed to rest a bit so we resolved to go the concert hall and meet up with boys. He told me. "You know, Andy, it's almost 9:00PM. I think it would be best if we should head for the concert hall by now."
"Don't you think we should wait for a little while?" I asked him, trying to convince. "After all, we still didn't cover enough ground."
"But the others might get worried." He replied. "We agreed to go the concert hall by nine o'clock. We can continue our search later. We could cover more ground if there are six of us."
"Oh, okay. Let's just go..." I told him, then, admitted. "I'm also tired..."
"You need to rest for a while." Jerry agreed, smiling. "You looked like hell."
"Thanks." I laughed, half-heartedly.
We hailed a taxi and went directly to the concert hall. Although I was tired, I remained vigilant along the way, just in case. I kept looking outside the window. I guess I was still hoping to find him, my dear Stephen. "Stephen, where are you tonight." I thought to myself. "Please come home, love. I need you. I love you. Please come home."
Still lost in my thought, I hadn't realized that we have already arrived at the concert. "Andy..." Jerry tried to catch my attention. "Andy, we're here."
"Oh, we are?" I answered hastily.
We got out of the cab and immediately when inside the coliseum. As we walked along the corridor, Jerry must have noticed the blankness and absence in my expression. "Andy?" He asked me. "Andy, are you okay?"
"Oh, I'm just worried about Stephen." I answered him then looked towards outside the building window. "I'm just wonder where he is, how's he feeling. I wonder if he's alright."
"Hell, be fine. He's been through a lot, he's a strong kid." He explained. "Back in Ireland, he used to live in the worst part of town, you know drugs, bad influences and things like that. One of his friends even died of a drug overdose. But he avoided all of that and was even to help alleviate his family's condition. He's much stronger than he really looks, Andy." Jerry assured me, but somehow, there was fear in his eyes. I can see the anxiety in his face.
He laughed nervously to lightened up the situation. "So cheer up, it's not like we are never going to see him again."
I felt a chill after hearing his little joke. My greatest fear right now is never seeing him alive again. We walked to the lobby. "Can I stay with the audience? I don't want to go to back stage." I asked. Then I explained absently. "Too many bad memories."
"Okay, but I have to go the backstage. Someone has to inform the boys were already here." He said. He started to walk away then he turned around and asked me in concern. "Are you sure you're going to be okay."
"Sure, I'm sure." I smiled sadly.
As Jerry walked away, I decided to lose myself among the crowd. I found myself a seat and sat somewhere in the back area. The place was really jammed-packed and the mob was really jumping. Up on the stage, the boys were performing, sans Stephen of course. They were singing "Picture of You" which really drew excitement from the audience.
All of the spectators were standing up, jumping up and down, dancing and swinging to the music. Me, on the other hand, I decided to relax and just sit down. I remained on my seat and just listen to the music,... tried to forget things which needs to be forgotten. As the song ended, the boys took their bows and left for the backstage. The entire cast left the stage, except for Ronan, who stayed to chat with the crowd.
"Following our concert in the Philippines,..." Ronan started. "Stephen just suffer from exhaustion and, unfortunately, right now he's still in the hotel recuperating from a low-grade fever. But he's doing fine and hopefully he will recover soon."
"He has supposed to sing this song tonight, 'Don't Stop Looking For Love', but since he can't be here tonight..." Ronan continue. "I was asked to sing in his place. Though I could not,..."
Ronan suddenly stopped talking and looked towards the wings. There was some commotion backstage, I could definitely see that there was something going on back there. Then, suddenly, the crowd went wild. I got really curious so I stood up to get a better view. Then I saw him, Stephen came in from the wings. My god, Stephen looked like shit!
Ronan went over to him and talked to him about something. Stephen tried to reach and grab the microphone but Ronan wouldn't give it to him. There was some sort of argument about something. I couldn't make out what they were talking. Their movements were really big and fast. Something IS wrong! There was evidently wrong with the picture, I could just taste the tension. Then, finally, much to my relief, Ronan gave Stephen the microphone.
Stephen walked to the center of the stage and began to talk with the crowds. "Hi everyone, most you probably didn't expect me to be here tonight." He gave Ronan a dirty look, as if saying 'you little liar'. Ronan could only face down to the floor.
"Right now, you're probably expecting me to sing some kind of a mushy song about love and all that crap." He said tiredly. "But, tonight I decided to sing something from my heart."
The crowd suddenly went silent, probably shocked by Stephen's attitude. He paused and wiped a tear from his eyes. "This is for somebody I really love. Unfortunately, my love was not returned. So tonight I sing this for you." He began to laugh hysterically, thought I could sense the bitterness in that laugh. "I hope you can here me, where ever you."
I squirmed in my seat. I thought to myself. "My god, he looks drunk."
He signaled the band to start playing. He walked to the front of the stage and cleared his throat. I recognized the introduction. It was "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins. He started crying and voice was quivering, shaking with anguish.
How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain
and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now,
well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
and that's what I've got to face
He started to move away to the back of the stage, trying to hide his face from the crowd. But we all could see him, the pain on his face, his tears flowing down his face, his lips quivering from agony and distressed. He then faced the crowd and continued to sing, even now that his heart was broken.
I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Seeing him in his present pained state shattered my heart. I could feel my tears slowly trickled down my face. I wanted to stand up, I wanted to climb up the stage and embrace him and say that everything is fine,... that I will always be here for him, to love him to need him. But I couldn't. Somehow, just by listening to his distressed voice, I lost all my strength to leave my seat.
Now take a look at me now,
cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you, is all I can do
and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take
Take a look at me now
Now, tears started flowing freely from my eyes and gushed down my cheeks. I quickly stood up from my seat and hastily left the room. Like a mad man, I rushed to every entrance, doorway and entry. Crazed and possessed by my desire to find a way to get to Stephen, I ran like a lunatic, desperately finding a way to the backstage.
In my mad dash, I bumped with Jerry. "WHERE IS HE?" I grabbed his shirt wildly, almost tearing it away. "WHERE IS STEPHEN? IS HE OKAY? PLEASE, TELL ME, WHERE IS HE! WHERE IS STEPHEN?"
"Andy, calm down!" He ordered me. "He's at the backstage. Quick, come with me. He's really hysterical. Stephen is losing it!"
Jerry didn't have to tell me twice. Together, we ran towards the backstage. My heart pace beat really fast, as if it would burst. Finally, I could see again and I know everything would turn out fine. When we finally reached the backstage, "WHERE IS HE?" I shouted hysterically.
"He left for the hotel." Mikey groaned.
"Why?" I was shocked. "Didn't you tell him? Didn't you tell him that I was here?"
"We did." Shane answered in bewilderment. "But he wouldn't believe me,... I don't think he listened to a word I said. Believe me, we tried our best."
"You all stay here! I have to go. I'm going to the hotel." I told them as I started running. "I have to talk with Stephen. I have to find him."
I ran out of the building and hailed a cab. I got in and told the driver to take me to the Omni Prince Hotel. I was so tense that my hands dripping sweat. Upon my arrival at the hotel, I made a manic dash for the elevator. When I finally reached Stephen's room at the penthouse, I opened the door and found him on the bed, sleeping soundly and peacefully like a baby. I was so relieved to find him resting. I went to him and tickled his ear.
I giggled as I whispered lovingly. "Hey, lover boy, I'm home."
I got no reaction.
"Boy, he must be tired." I thought. I tickled his ribs and said, teasingly. "Oh, come on, Stephen! Are you still angry?"
Still, I got no reaction.
"You're such a snob! You know that!" " I told him, laughing.
I looked at him, still dressed in his dirty clothes. I decided to change his attire to something more suitable and comfortable. I walked to the closet and search for a clean shirt and shorts. "My god, Stephen, you're so filthy." I told him, smiling. "Be thankful that I'm here."
I went behind him and lifted him up in order to disrobe him. Curiously, a small open bottle slipped out of his hands and fell on the carpeted floor. The pills fell out of the bottle and scattered across the carpeted floor. Gingerly, I stoop down to retrieve it and placed the pills back inside the bottle. I replaced the lid and realized that it was a quarter full. I read the label and it said "PARACETAMOL". I thought, as I dropped the bottle like it was a burning piece of charcoal. "WHAT THE HELL IS HE HOLDING AN ALMOST EMPTY BOTTLE OF PAIN RELIEVER!"
Alarmed, I quickly pulled Stephen up and said. "Stephen, wake up honey. Please wake up."
I slapped his face many times to wake him up but to no avail. I lifted him so that he can sit down properly. I noticed a piece of paper sticking out of his pocket. I grabbed it and found out that it was letter addressed to me. Quickly, I've read the note
My Dearest Andy,
I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I've realized that no matter how hard I try, I can never have you. I guess that it's something I can never face, something even worst than death. But, I want you to know that even if I will die today, I am very much thankful. I am forever thankful because we had our yesterday. Though it was short, it was very sweet.
Thank you, Andy, thank you for giving me that single moment of happiness and true love in my life. I shall die but I shall die happy.
Good bye my love.
Love always and forever, Stephen
I dropped the note and cried. "STEPHEN, WAKE UP!!!."
I cried hysterically. "PLEASE WAKE UP, I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I'VE DONE!!! JUST WAKE UP!!!"
I shook him as hard as I could,... "OH MY GOD STEPHEN!!!" I cried. "PLEASE,... DON'T DIE!!!"
-----to be continued-----