I decided to end this story once and for all. Thanks for all those who had given me moral support in writing this story, especially to www.nifty.org, James Yu, TonnY, Rye, TomCrew, Yuli, Gary Brlow and most especially David at nifty who endured my excessive and unending complaints. Thanks again for helping me in making this fantasy of mine, well, partially come true.
This is the final installment of SIMPLY WORDS, my fantasy with boy band BOYZONE member, STEPHEN GATELY. Again I would like to remind you that this is just a fantasy and none of these events ever happen. Although the first part of the composition stated that it was written before STEPHEN GATELY had came out last June of 1999, this part was written after he came out.
If you are a minor, you know the rule. Please don't read this and find something more suitable for you age. If you're a bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay. I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open mind
I always hope that this fantasy of mine would become a reality but until then... well. This is the first explicit story I've ever written. I would gladly receive any constructive criticism about this composition. My e-mail is j_andrew_andy@yahoo.com and if another fan of Boyzone is reading this short story, could you provide me with MR. STEPHEN GATELY'S e-mail address? Thanks, I would greatly appreciate it!
This story contains the songs entitled "(Love Moves In) Mysterious Ways" by Julia Fordham, which was the soundtrack for the movie "The Butcher's Wife".
SIMPLY WORDS
-------------------- C h a p t e r 11 --------------------
The last few hours were pure hell. I couldn't... I didn't have the full recollection of the events straight, the pictures in my mind were just chips and scraps of the entire mishap. Everything went by so fast like flashes from a camera. The only image that was craved in my mind was the sight of Stephen being brought out of the hotel in a gurney.
The boys came as soon as they can. But it was just pure hell being alone in the hospital, wishing that none of the event ever happen, and desiring to be able to turn back time to point when all of this could have been avoided. But the worst thing was waiting for some,... any signs of improvement in Stephen's condition.
So far, there was none,... there was no improvements...
"What really happened?" Ronan asked me as we sitting in the waiting area.
I gave him the note. The rest of the boys came around and read the letter. I could see the shock and trauma in their faces. "SHIT!" Mikey shouted, rubbing his head in complete anguish. "WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN!!!"
"I'm sorry it was all my fault." I cried.
"Andy! No, don't cry!" Shane put his hand on my shoulders. "It's not your fault. This just happened."
"How are we ever going to explain this to the media."
Keith asked in concern. "We just can't tell them that Stephen tried to commit suicide over a jilted relationship, much less a homosexual one. This could ruin his reputation!"
"No, we can't. And no, we won't!" Ronan replied. He paced back and forth, thinking deeply. Then his face brightened up. "But we can say that all of this was just a simple accident."
"What do you mean?" Shane asked, intrigued.
"Because of his high fever, he didn't have a very clear way of thinking." He said smiling.
"Thus his strange performance at the concert." Mikey caught on. "I get it now!"
"Right!" Ronan was on a roll. "We sent him to the hotel early to recuperate. But because of he was still under the effects of the medicine, his mind was still foggy. By the time he came into the hotel room, he must have found the bottle and took the medicine. He didn't have any idea that it was pain relievers nor did he have the notion that he took a very lethal dosage. Luckily, Andy, here, went back to hotel to check up on him."
"Shane." Mikey ordered. "You and Jerry should call the media. We will have a press conference this morning to explain Stephen's present condition and what happened tonight. Andy, please stay with Stephen. Right now, he needs you more that ever."
As the boys got ready for their plans on their press conference, I decided to go to the nurses' station to inquire about Stephen's situation. "Hi, I'm a friend of Mr. Gately." I introduced myself to the nurses. "I was wondering if there were any changes in his condition."
"Well, sir, right now, I can't really say anything. Wait, let me take a look at his chart." The nurse told me. She looked at Stephen's chart and informed me. "I'm sorry sir, but there hasn't been any changes. He's still unconscious"
"Oh?" I asked sadly. "Thanks anyway."
Just then a doctor came out of the emergency room. There was anxiety in his face. He approached the Nurses' station and asked. "May I asked where to find the family of Patient Stephen Gately?"
"Doctor Chu!" I read his nametag as I approached them. "I can't help but hear you talking about Stephen Gately. We, my companion and I, are friends of Stephen. May I ask what's his present condition right now? We are really anxious to know on how our friend is doing."
"Could you please gather your friends together?" The doctor asked me. "This is quite important and I wish to speak to all of you right now."
Quickly I called the boys and we gathered around Doctor Chu. "As you can see, Mr. Gately is presently out of danger." The doctor explained to us. "We were able to flush the toxins out of his body. What concerns me is how was he able to obtain and digest such a high dosage of pain killers."
"He was having a low-grade fever and was suffering from severe exhaustion. He was not thinking properly when he went back to the hotel." Ronan immediately answered. "We send him back to the hotel from the concert hall. There, he must have obtained some of the pain relievers without really knowing how much of it he took"
"That is a really sad thing. Accidents with medicine is really avoidable." The doctor told us. Then, he sighed sadly as he shook his head. "The really unfortunate thing right now is the poison had attacked a certain small part of his nervous system. It wouldn't really matter since this wouldn't really pose a threat, significant or otherwise. However, it seems that the patient isn't fighting hard enough to save himself. Right now, he's slipping into coma, which is quite strange since the threat was already eradicated."
"Oh, no! Will he be alright?" I gasped. I can't help but feel responsible for his present condition.
"I can't really say..." He told us. "If he was fighting hard enough, he could pull through. But if not, well..."
"He will pull through, right doctor?" Ronan asked the doctor firmly.
"I can't say. Only time will tell..." The doctor just looked down. "If one you could talk to him, it may just help encourage him to survive."
He left us with more questions than answers. What will happen to Stephen? Will he pull through? Will he live or just become a vegetable? I didn't what to know the answers. I just wanted to die. Again I cried, Ronan took me in his arms and cried with me.
"What have I done?" I asked myself.
Ronan whispered to me. "Andy, if it will you feel better, it wasn't entirely your fault. We were to be blamed in first place." I looked at him as tears flowed down his cheeks. "We didn't want both of you to be together. Now look where it brought us?"
"No, it's entirely my fault." I gulped some air. "If I didn't reject him in the first place, all of this wouldn't have happened. I could have..."
"Hey!" Shane interrupted me. "I don't want to hear anymore of this 'who is to blame' stuff. All I know Stephen will get better. By any means, that guy will survive this. DO YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW HE WILL SURVIVE, NO MATTER WHAT"
After the boys have finished planning on what they have to say at the press conference, Ronan asked me. "Do you need company in guarding Stephen?"
I replied. "No, I can handle this."
"Are you sure?" He looked, quite concerned.
"I'm sure." I answered then, added bravely smiling. "One good thing though, the doctor bought your 'accident' story."
Ronan smiled and then walked away. When they had left I went into the emergency room to try to see Stephen. I found him lying on the bed. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I approached his bed and pulled the curtain to have some privacy.
I said to him as I touched his face. "You know when I first saw you from your music video, I think that was 'Love Me For A Reason', I thought 'Gosh, he really looks cute'. After that you became the only person in my fantasy. I never had thought that we would ever meet, much less be the object of your affection. The funniest thing was I never thought you would love me this way. You've love me so much that you'd give up your life."
I paused then continued. "The song that I was suppose to sing that night you know 'Love Moves In Mysterious Ways' it was really about my love for you,... about the two of us." I paused again, then felt my heart breaking. "You know you could never know,... never understand how everything just moves in their respective ways in their own respective time until you finally see the way the puzzle forms,... until you see the whole picture. I never thought that we would be together until that one night when I found your passport.
I smiled as I recollected the bittersweet thoughts. "And even when they tried to break us apart, I didn't understand why I came back to you." I began to giggle. "When I left, I couldn't understand why you chase me all the way to Cebu."
I wiped the tears in my eyes, smiling bitterly to the thoughts of bittersweet memories. "So I guess that's why Love really moves in mysterious ways."
I started to hum the song, feeling the sound, hoping that somehow Stephen would hear me. No sooner I began to hum, the lyrics just flowed out of my mouth.
Who would've thought,
This is how the pieces fit
You and I shouldn't have
Even tried making sense of it...
I forgot,
How we ever came this far
I know that we have reasons but
We don't know what they are
Just blame it on my heart,
Oh...
Love moves in mysterious ways
Always so surprising when
When love appears
Over the horizon
I'll love you for the rest of my days
Still it's a mystery
But tell me how
It came to be
Which only proves
Love moves in mysterious ways
Heaven knows
Love is just a chance we take
We make plans but our
Love demands a leap of faith
So hold me close
And never ever let me go
Because even though
We think we know
Which way the river flow
That's not the way love goes,
No...
Love moves in mysterious ways
Always so surprising when
When love appears
Over the horizon
Like the ticking of a clock
Two hearts beat as one
But I never understand
The way it's done,
Oh...
Love moves in mysterious ways
Always so surprising when
When love appears
Over the horizon
I love you for the rest of my days
Still it's a mystery
But tell me how
It came to be
Which only proves
Love moves in mysterious ways
Love moves in mysterious ways
After singing the song, I decided that it would be best that I should leave. I should have thought better than to let him see, or just even hear me being sad. "Stephen, why?" I cried, whimpering. "Why did this had to happen to you?... to me?... to us? Why?"
I wiped the tears in my eyes and I stood up. As I began to walk out of the enclosed area, I turned around and saw him. "I love you, Stephen."
A single tear trickle down from his eyes... gently sliding down his pale cheeks
I knew it,... I knew he could hear me. With renewed strength and hope, I ran back to him and hugged his shoulder. "Stephen, I know that you can hear me." I whispered to his ear, as wiped the tears out my eyes.
I begged him excitedly. "Please don't die. Please fight for your life. You can survive this, you have been fighting to survive all your life. I know everything, you have been trying to survive your bad neighborhood, your homosexuality... If you were able to survive all that, I know, you can fight this,... fight this for me,... please."
Still, the beating of his heart remained unchanged. "Stephen,... Stephen, listen to me, please." I cried.
"Help yourself. You just can't die this way. There's still so much for you,... for us. There's still so much for both of us, DON'T DIE!!!"
"Stephen, you asked me to love you, to need you." I was already crying hysterically now. I hugged him, trying to find a different beating from his heart, not the usual monotonous sound. I was searching for a sign that he was still there.
"I love you! I need you, Stephen. Please wake up Stephen. I could never need anyone else like I need you." I whispered sobbing. "Please,... I could never live without."
Still there was no change. "STEPHEN, FOR ME, STEPHEN, PLEASE DON'T DIE,... FOR ME." I was hysterically slapping his chest. "WHAT MUST I DO TO GET THROUGH TO YOU!"
Losing all hope, I stood up and wiped away my tears. I started to walk away. It seems that he doesn't really need me. With a heavy heart, I was on my way out of the enclosure. "No sense in staying." I whispered. "No sense in staying... if I couldn't bring him out of his darkness"
"Well,..." I heard a whisper. "You could try to kiss me and see if I would wake up. It worked for Sleeping Beauty..."
"stephen?..." I asked bewildered. "Stephen!!! Stephen!!!"
"Who were you expecting?..." I looked at him and he smiled weakly. "...Phil Collins?"
"Oh, Stephen!" I ran to him. I hugged him. I kissed his face, his nose, and his lips. "Don't you ever do that again! If you do, I'm going to kill you!"
"Why would I do that?" He smiled like an angel. "Now, that I have you."
I just hugged him, never wanting to ever let go. I kissed him and he was mine.
"Why did you come back?" He looked at me. "Why did you return to me even after what I had done to you,... lied to you? Why Andy?"
"Because, I know." I was relieved and ecstatic at the same time. "Without you, I'd be lost."
He kissed me, and I kissed him. I hugged him ever so tightly, afraid that I might lose him again. True, I'd be lost without him. I need him and he needs me. And that's all that really matters to me. I don't particular care what the newspaper would print in morning, I already have my Stephen back, happy safe, and sound.
You know Mike was right, you don't really know what's ahead the bridge and until you've cross it. Right now, I've only crossed one bridge and I know that's there will be more bridges ahead of me to cross, but until then, I plan to take things one day at a time.
"Love is about taking chances." I seem to hear Mike's voice in my head.
True, I gambled, played and lay all my cards down at the table. And now, it looks like I won.
----------The end----------
I hope you have enjoyed the whole series. Originally, I planned to write up to three parts only. But look what happened, I ended having an eleven part series. For all those who continued to read my stories, I want you to know your support was the one thing that gave me the will to continue and end this story even when my day was bleak.
Again, I want to thank the all the people who inspired me to create, to post and to continue writing this story up to its completion; To nifty (thank you for the space), yuli (you've been more than a friend to me, you're almost like a sister), tonny (there's nothing like reading your e-mail, my gratitude), TomCrew (thanks for giving me a different perspective of my life), Rye (you're one of the few who inspired me to continue my story even when I was in the worst of days), Gary Brlow (you were one of the few who told me I could write), James (you've known me, my dark secrets, thoughts and dreams, only you're not gay, what a waste!!! Thanks man, hahaha), most especially, David at nifty (for all the those times, you still cooperated. I'm forever thankful) and to all the readers (without you, there would be no writers, thanks very many)
Stephen Gately, I support you whatever you do in life! Have a happy life, man!