Ok here I am again. thank u for bearing with me, this will be little by little. thanks to my friends: keith, colleen, coyla, vanessa and micki. love lots. as usual, remember that this story is FICTION. it is not true. (i just have a lot of time on my hands!!). scene continues:
I came back to the hotel at around 6 pm. I'd left at around one. I used the key card and unlocked the room I shared with Jc. He wasn't there. I peeled my jacket off and dropped it on the floor. I sighed, and plopped down on my bed and turned on my cd player and headphones. I laid on my back with my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling.
After awhile, the door opened, and closed. I didn't look over. Jc sat down on his bed. He looked at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him say something, but I couldn't hear it.
I took off my headphones and sat up and looked at him. "Yes?" I ventured.
He sighed. "You're really gay?"
I plopped down on my bed. "You know the answer to that." I said, sighing. "So why are you asking?"
He shrugged a little. "I don't know...where did you go today?"
"Around."
"Anywhere in particular?"
"Somewhere in the back of my mind."
"Oh. Um...So..just...how come you never told?"
"You never asked."
"If I had asked, 'Justin, are you gay?' you would have said 'yes'?"
"Yup."
"Oh. Um, are you going to come out to the world?"
I shrugged. "Probably not. Why should I? So they can all hate me like you guys do?"
He looked pained. "Justin, no one hates you-"
I sat up. "Then why did you guys act like that today?"
He sighed. "I don't know, Justin. It's just... shock. I mean, we never would've expected that."
"You wanna know what I think?"
"Sure."
"I think," I began. "You guys are afraid."
"Of what?"
"Well, you know how excited Chris and Lance were when they found out two backstreet boys were gay? They were all happy cause they thought the world wouldn't like them anymore cause two of 'em were gay. And now I tell that I am... you're afraid if I come out to the world no one will like 'n sync anymore."
He was quiet a moment. "Yeah, that's what Chris and Lance and Joey said."
"Yeah? Well, what about you?"
"Um..I..I don' know. You're just going to have to give me some time. Okay?"
"Okay."
'some time' turned into a year and then some. During that las year and a few months, the guys were pretty rotten to me. I got the message. They didn't want to be around me just because I told them I'm gay.
I'd also told my parents. They more or less hated me now. I love you too, mom and dad.
So, with my fellow 'n sync band members treating me so badly (rude comments, dirty looks and really mean things) and my parents hating me, my self esteem wasnt very high. I didn't come out to the world. What would the point be.
'N Sync had been invited to this, like, party dealy, and there was a whole bunch of people there. Jc and Lance were talking, and Chris and Joey were out on the dance floor making jackasses of themselves. I was sitting on a couch with a pepsi, watching everything. the boy band lfo was also here. bsb was roumered to show up but i hadnt seen any of them yet.
I was within Jc and Lance's eyesight. The guys had a new habit (or shall I say hobby) of talking about me while I was still in the room, and they'd decided that I had to be within (at least one of thiers) eyesight, to watch me and make3 sure I didn't act all gay or hop on top of another guy. The purpose of this (according to their logic) (a) so no one would find out about me, and (b) to make sure no innocent male was seduced by me (ha!) to protect all other guys. Ah, true friendship, huh? Humph.
After awhile, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Hey," someone with a faint southern accent said. I looked up. He looked slightly familiar, although I couldn't place him. "Are you Justin Timberlake?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yeah...who're you?"
who is this mysterious person? will justin find out? will his bandmates ever be nice to him again? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? tune in next week (or tomorrow!). remember: ajsaysyourefired@yahoo.com . Laugh and the world laughs with you; Fart and you stand alone. and Close your mouth before a fly goes inside, keith.
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