Skater's Streets
Chapter 3 Instant Replay cogoma@zdnetonebox.com
I crossed the railroad tracks following Dart. I watched him strip below the waist, standing naked before me save for his torn and stretched out San Diego Padre's T-shirt. The first thing that drew my attention was the moisture at the tip of his dick. He watched me checking out his black patch of hair, the size of his legs, the hair that ran up the inside of his thighs, the way his balls hung, and the way his dick bent only the last two inches below the head.
"Let's do it sitting down so I don't fall on my ass," he said.
"Sure," I said, waiting for him to pick the spot.
I slid up between his legs with my bear thighs rubbing on his bear legs. Even before I touched it my dick was throbbing, and like the night before, I pointed it out of the leg of my shorts so it would erupt on to the dark earth shortly after I started blowing him. I was so hot at that instant that two strokes would have set me off. I was careful not to touch myself when I folded the material in my shorts off of it.
He hadn't offered to touch me and I didn't want him to see me doing it to myself. I didn't see Dart as a cocksucker. It just didn't seem like something he'd do voluntarily. He was most comfortable with his hands behind his head while he watched another guy devour him. Just my proximity to his dick had my heart feeling like it was bursting on each beat. I didn't need or want him to do anything but be there exposed to me like he was.
There was little or no possibility of discovery this time, and I didn't keep an ear out for one of the guys to suddenly decide to come out of the tube. I didn't need to listen to them encourage Stan onto their dicks or the sounds they made when he'd chosen theirs. I didn't wonder what it was like being Stan with all those dicks pointed at me. It was Dart and me that second time, and I was tuned in to just him.
I gripped the base below the bend, studying the head and the way it swelled when I squeezed, watching the drops leak out of him when I did. Hearing the way his breathing changed when I touched him helped me to understand what he had invested in my touching him. He squirmed, making our legs rub together more vigorously. He gulped some air leaning back on his elbows not watching me any longer, looking at the deep bluing in the sky between the treetops. Night was closing in.
I remembered to take some deep breaths and then I let my lips move on the tip to wipe those leaking drops around the head. It was electric when my tongue washed his tip, mixing my spit with his leakage as I became wed to the head of it. With my lips slipping just over the ridge and connecting with his shaft, I let my tongue lick it as it pulsed in my mouth.
He struggled to breathe and I left gobs of cum on the leaves as my head left my shoulders and did loop de loop way away from us. I didn't think I'd ever stop shooting and I was afraid he'd know. I had no idea why I didn't want him to know how much what I was doing turned me on. I do remember getting my mouth down to the bend after awhile.
"You'd better let me," he said, grabbing it out of my mouth.
He frantically masturbated himself, cumming all over our legs and on my shorts, moaning and gasping air as it leaped out of him in long powerful streams. He collapsed back on the leaves, panting for air. I took his dick from him and massaged more liquid down over my fingers as his hands held my forearm. It softened as I felt it, exploring his balls, and regions behind them. My fingers became windows to his world.
"That was the best," he said, standing with his dick swinging near my face.
Once we were dressed we both had places to go and things to do. I went down the short slope to the tracks where the trolley had passed just twenty feet from where we'd done our thing. There, not fifty feet from where we had been, Paul stood leaning on the concrete border of the business that came right up to the tracks just short of Grossmont Station. There was no doubt in my mind how he got there or what he was doing.
"Hi," he said, sounding so unlike Paul it wasn't even funny.
"Hi. You're a long way from the tube," I said, not being able to think of anything else to say.
"Yeah, you too. Dart have to go," he said, letting me know he knew.
"I guess," I said. "I'm going for a Coke. Want to go?"
"Sure," he said, making me happy and pissing me off at the same time.
I was sure I knew what he was after. I wasn't sure why he just didn't come out with, "Blow me or I blow you away with the guys."
Paul did not impact me the way Dart did. Dart was tall, dark, handsome, and exciting for me to be near. Paul was, well, Paul was Paul. He mainly stayed in the background, said little that wasn't bluster or self-promotion, and he thought everyone was a little weird, according to what he said. Now I was stuck with trying to get away from him but with what he knew I had to find a way to keep him from running his mouth.
We crossed the highway and went to the Quick Stop for large cups of Coke. I was surprised when Paul paid for mine. I'd never seen him so subdued. It was obvious he had something on his mind and I really didn't want to know what it was. We sat out on the curb as cars came and went with their milk and bread. He hung his cup down between his knees, mostly staring at the black asphalt.
"It's been nice weather," I said.
"A little hot," he said.
"What I did wasn't cool," he said, sounding like it wasn't.
Okay, we were getting to it. He was admitting he shouldn't have followed us, and now if he just says he won't say anything about what he saw me doing, I'm out of here, I thought. Besides, just how far is the blower from the blowee when you come down to it. They are sharing one of the most intimate acts anyone can share. Besides fucker and fuckee, I didn't think it got more intimate.
"Shit happens," I said, after a long uneasy drink of coke.
"Yeah, but there are certain things you don't let get around," he said.
Oh fuck, here it comes, I thought. Now just what have I got to do to keep it from getting around.
"Well I don't say nothing about nothing," I said, taking the only neutral ground I could think of.
Paul wasn't as big as he looked. Beside me he didn't seem that much bigger than I was. He had broad shoulders and all that freaking curly hair that made him look way tall. It wasn't blonde, or brown, or red, or.... Hell, I didn't know what it was. It was different. He had light light skin with freckles that didn't really look like freckles because of how lightly they were colored. He had big arms and thick legs, but in all that baggy material, he just looked way big to me. He didn't look all that bad when he wasn't ragging on someone, which he always was, and I could hear him giving a blow by blow recounting of how I was up between Dart's legs. Dart would come off as this big stud and I'd come off as a fag.
"I was way over the top in front of you guys. It's just that I've really been strange lately. It's like all I think about. Then I go do something stupid like that in front of you two," he said, sounding so remorseful it wasn't funny.
"Dart set you up, Paul. He was trying to get you going. He's got this idea that everyone wants it all the time," I said, trying not to say too much but wanting to let the guy off the hook.
"He did that?"
"He did that. He was hard before you even came up," I said.
"How do you know that?" Paul asked.
"We were talking about the night before. How you, well, how the guys were so ready to do anything. You were the first up the tube and he thought that meant you were more desperate than anyone was. Then here you come. He couldn't resist proving his point."
"I'm not that desperate. I don't have any trouble in that department," he said, looking around while holding his knees from the outside and swinging his coke between them.
"I'm just telling you what he said. I have no opinion. I'm too young to have an opinion. I don't know shit about shit. You old guys seem to have it all figured out," I said.
"I'm not an old guy. I'm a sophomore too," he said.
"You are? You look older," I said, hoping it didn't offend him.
"I go to Special Ed classes. I don't really need them, but they say it helps me concentrate. It's a lot of horse shit you ask me."
"ADD?" I asked.
"Yeah, some form or version of it with a lot of extra letters so if you aren't confused enough you can really be fucked up."
"Bummer," I said.
"I just wanted to let you know you're okay with me and I didn't mean to freak you out," he said.
"I've seen hard dicks before," I said. "Yours is big though." I added, figuring an ego boost might get us both off the hook and out of there.
"My best part according to most of my friends," he said, sounding distant. "My brain don't work but my dick sure do. Some times it pisses me off because I can't stop myself. Like you with Dart. I mean I'm sure he's got his needs, but it surprised me you'd go with him. I always pegged you as Mr. Clean. To figure you're like me... I just didn't. I'm cool with it. I liked you even before," he said, sounding like he was talking to someone that wasn't really there, and I was certainly wishing I wasn't there.
"What are you talking about?" I finally asked, sounding too reprehensible for my own puritanical good.
"After last night and then today, you didn't figure it out. I'm sure Dart is telling everyone what a fag I am. I won't say anything," he said, smiling at me with about the warmest smile I'd ever gotten from anyone. "Like I said. I always liked you. I just never thought you were gay. When I saw you and Dart going at it, it just made me think how nice it would be with someone nice like you. I always end up with guys that want me to cum or they need to cum and that's about as personal as it gets. I've never been with anyone that acted like it was me they wanted and not my big dick."
"You're gay," I said, after I picked my chin up off the asphalt. "You're gay? I'm not...."
I started to protest, and then I realized he'd struggled with it and knew what it meant to do the things I'd done. He was trying to let me know he knew and taking me off the hook at the same time. I wasn't going to call myself gay. Hell, I had a long ways to go. There was the stage everyone talked about boys going through, of course none of them ever went through it because they were too pure, but some boys, somewhere, went through it, and I'm sure some boys somewhere did, but it didn't consume them when they did. There was a difference between curiosity and rhapsody. I never went through the stage. I went directly to being nothing sexually to sucking dick. I suppose having guys like Ace and Dart around could eliminate the middle ground rather quickly.
"I'm going to give you my phone number. It's just if you need to talk to someone that understands. I never had anyone to talk to. It's better if you don't keep it all inside. I tried that and it hurts too much. Any time, nighttime, day time, any time. I have a phone in my room. No one else will answer."
"Sure," I said as I took the receipt he'd jotted his number on.
He stood up, pulling the legs of his shorts down in a way that took my attention straight to it. There it was, as close as Dart's had been before he got dressed. Paul watched eyes too, and he knew what I was looking at. The big knob at the end was outlined in the tightening material. It lacked an inch at most before I could see it, although I could see it in my mind, remembering the details, the veins, the color.
"I said I liked you. Sorry, it's always hard these days. I must be going through some kind of change. Look, Z, call me. We can be friends. I mean friends or whatever you want."
"Yeah, thanks," I said, looking up at his eyes before my eyes went back between his legs.
He took a quick glance around before he lifted the leg of his shorts high enough to expose the swollen head. It pressed on his thigh as he pressed down on it with his hand. I remembered the head and that darkening color that indicated he was turned on. I looked at his face with a quick glance but went back to that fat fucker without hesitating after seeing him smile. He looked around again and hiked the leg another two or three inches. He pressed his fingers down on the naked flesh. My mind was a flutter with desire for it. I wanted to look away but I didn't. He eased it out of sight forcing me to look at his face again. He pushed down on it several times and by the look on his face it was making matters worse.
"You like it?" He asked, knowing the answer by what he'd seen in my eyes.
"I'll call," I said. "Tonight."
"Nothing like an incentive," he said, smiling at me before he dropped his board and drifted on it down toward Grossmont Blvd, staying on an angle so he could watch me watching him.
I sat there for a long time. I was more confused now than I had been when I was blowing Dart. I knew why I did that and it was clear to me. I wanted to know what it was like and I wanted to know what Dart was like. When Paul stood there, rearranging himself, I had a hot flash. I'd never liked Paul at all before I saw his dick. Why would that make a difference? Why did that get me going? It made no sense to me at all. Doing something with Paul wasn't learning anything. I'd learned all I needed to know from Dart. I wanted more lessons from someone else.
If I was gay then I liked guys the way guys liked girls. Did they then get hot and bothered over girls they didn't necessarily feel attracted to? What did it mean? I felt like Paul, when he was talking about ADD and the other letters that they attached to it just to make sure he was more confused then he'd always been confused about everything. I'd never known anything about sex and the more I learned the less I felt like I knew.
It didn't seem fair that he had ADD and this to deal with. Why do some of us get such heavy loads to carry? My life had once been pretty good in Paradise Valley. The only sexuality I saw was in fleeting kisses of young lovers greeting or saying goodbye. Was there a gang of skaters on the other side of Phoenix like the boys in El Cajon, burning with desire and lust for anyone with a mouth or a receptacle that became available? I had grown up believing I was like the skaters in PV, well dressed, well scrubbed, and easy to get along with, and yet I wanted to experience the raw sexuality of my new friends, smelling touching, experiencing everything they had to offer.
I didn't fit in with the skaters here until last night at the tube, except for that first day when John showed me what I was looking for. I'd thought about it all the time since then. I knew there was a fire burning inside of me that told me I wanted to get into sex any way I could. Until the night before we were a rag tag group of punks who skated together. I no longer prided myself on being neat and clean and I looked more like them then the boys from PV. I was now tuned into the sexuality of these boys like I'd never been tuned into anything before.
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