Warning: This is a story about two boys falling in love. If it offends you, please don't continue
reading.
Copyrights@ 2001. One Shy Rugrat. All Rights Reserved.
I've finally got the time to complete Chapter 7. I'm dying for more comments from everyone, so if you guys have anything to say about the story or if you just wanted me to answer a few questions about my life, you're welcome to contact me at one_shy_rugrat@hotmail.com
Sleepless Nights Chapter 7
Though I continue to have those same dreams day after day, bits and bites of the puzzle was becoming more clear. Every time the dream seems to reveal more and more. It seems surreal that it might be a prophecy waiting to be unleashed, but I'm superstitious and am scared of anything that might become of me because of my sexuality. Yet I continue to admire that beautiful face of Kenneth's. His chin, sharp glowing eyes, luscious lips and his thick eyebrows. Not to mention his firm thighs and long legs and huge smooth chest that I'd love to, one day, be able to rest my head on. Despite the dreams' becoming more horrific every time and Yvonne's so-called 'warning', I paid no attention to them.
"Hey, Joe!" That statement startled me and I jumped. I was finally brought back to reality that I was volunteering and was filing some files for the hospital I work at. I also realized it was Kenneth who scared the living daylights out of me.
"Holy shit! I scared the hell outta me!" I said as I wondered what he has to say.
"You're birthday is coming up. What are you guys going to do? Remember to count me in the fun."
"Actually, I'm not sure.", smiling weakly when I said that.
Trying to ignore my lack of enthusiasm with what he was asking about, he started suggesting some stuff that we could do. Movies, karaoke, drinks, pool, swimming, barbeque etc. Believe me, if he was there, only half of me would be excited. Why? Well, if he goes, the side of me that loves this young man will scream to the top of my lungs in excitement but the other side of me would be uncomfortable because I'd literally become mute if he's around afraid that I might embarrass myself. While wagering which side to take, Kenneth continues, "How about we do something special, just the two of us?" Special? Why would he want to do something special with me? Now he's got me thinking! Romantic boat cruise? Candlelight dinner? Watching the stars up in the mountains then wait for the sunrise? All these teenage dream love scenes start flooding my already screwed up brain and my heart was pumping quick!
"Um, what do you mean?"
"I don't know. I was thinking maybe we should hang out and celebrate, you know? It is your eighteenth birthday."
"Then why not spend it with all my friends?"
"Of course you could. I'm not saying you can't its just that I thought we should do something special to make your birthday memorable. What do you say? Let's go for lunch now. We'll discuss this over lunch."
Before I could answer, Kenneth took me by the arm and then yanked me out of the hospital and led me to the mall nearby.
"You know, I'm not sure what to get you for your birthday, any hints on what you want?"
Though my heart and brain were screaming 'YOU! YOU IDIOT! YOU!' I kept my mouth shut until I said, "Um, nothing. You don't have to buy me anything?"
"Sure I do. Its your birthday!"
"What do you mean its my birthday? I'm no one special. You really don't have to buy me anything, okay?"
"Yeah yeah. Whatever." Immediately leading me into a puzzle boutique. It was full of puzzles of all sizes and difficulties. There were the cheesy 50 piece puzzles to the 8000 piece. "Hey, I'm trying to buy one of these and put it together myself. Help me choose one that you think the picture is good. You've got taste. I don't."
Exploring the store looking at glow-in-the-dark Mickey Mouse puzzles, Cinderella puzzles, X- men puzzles, and others. I spotted an image of a white strapped tiger that was fierce and exotic and pointed at that, at the same time saying "That one!"
"Cool. That's a cool painting. Its eyes are full of desire and power."
"Yeah. The picture itself dominates the atmosphere making it tight and intimate."
"Yeah. I could feel it too. Let's buy this one then" Kenneth said as he picked the box of puzzle up and paid for it at the cashier.
Still confused at the rush in buying what I would think is such a boring afternoon hobby, I just kept walking around the store and waited for him to finish at the cash register. After exiting the boutique, we continued to walk around the mall. Of course, what I was amazed at was his arm stayed on top of my shoulders the whole time. Hey, I won't complain. But its just that if I was an outsider looking at two guys walking like that, I would think that they are a couple. Him, one arm around my shoulders and the other holding onto a box of his new bought afternoon hobby. We waded through the stream of people that packed the mall with me feeling embarrass and almost certainly blushing the whole time wondering if people thought that we looked like a gay couple. I mean, I'm not even so sure about what I expect from a gay relationship and here I was in the arms of my dream stud and he was taking good care of me, or so I thought. What Yvonne said about him really dissolved into my cranium and seeped into my brain. I just couldn't get the conversation out of my head about him being a selfish ass and all. Maybe he is leading me on. How I wished we really were a couple...
For the next few weeks, he called me and I called him. I'd bow to his every request, totally losing myself into what I felt was leading absolutely nowhere. Maybe I'm just a stupid guy yearning for someone to care about. But, who isn't? Whenever he wanted to go somewhere, I'd just ask "What time? And where would be the best place for you?". Not only did I please his requests, I even started to decline or cancel my other friends' dates. I would have arranged to go to the theme park with Kerry and the others but cancel it last minute just to meet Kenneth for lunch. Where has my self-esteem gone to? Though I did not agree with myself on what I was doing to my friendships with my buddies and pals, but I still kept postponing and canceling my usual leisure activities.
"Hey Joe. You free this afternoon?"
No! But I'd do anything for you. How I wished I could say that out loud... "Um, yeah. What's up?"
"You know the annual comic festival is starting today, right?"
No! How am I suppose to know the comic fest is today when the only comics I come in contact with are the comic strips in the newspaper everyday? "Yeah. You want to go?"
"Yeah. Don't you? I have so many things I want to buy there."
"Alright. Where do you want to meet?"
"At the subway where we always meet? We can take the subway downtown together, that good with you? Oh. And we should meet at 2pm."
"Alright, see you then."
"Bye! You're the best!"
Yeah. I know. So for the next two hours, I concentrated on my clothes and hair for the day. I took a shower, took out my good pants and casual shirt. A little bit of hair styling and I was ready to go. Arriving at the station at 10 minutes before 2pm, which I have a habit of doing since birth. I waited for Kenneth and wondered what his dress code was going to be today. I waited and waited and waited for thirty minutes and I saw everyone who have been waiting with me for someone has departed and groups of new 'stand-by's were in place waiting for their carriage to arrive. I, however, was still in front of the same old doorway pretending I wasn't pissed off just in case Kenneth shows up anytime. I finally called him after a while and he told me he was coming.
"I'm coming. Just give me another ten minutes." He would say.
I continued waiting. And I call him again after fifteen minutes.
"I'm coming. I'm already near the station."
I continue to wait another twenty minutes and still, still no Kenneth. I mean, anyone has a bottom line. And I called him once more, thinking of telling I was going home.
"Oh. I'm sorry man. But my dad has some errands for me to do and I can't come anymore."
"Oh. That's okay... bye..."
CAN'T COME? WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME IF YOU COULDN"T COME? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? With my head screaming for release, I just went home and had a long nap. That night, no calls. I waited. But still no calls. I waited, and waited, and waited, and finally got so angry that I just started doing all the laundry, the dishes, and the lawn! I even vacuumed the house! I started to feel the legend of Kenneth being a selfish asshole might really be true. I mean, how hard could it have been to call and say that you're busy, huh? That day, my friends called me to go out at night, but I was so pissed and down that I had no mood to socialize but stay home to beat the crap out of my pillow. I felt like crying, but my eyes got really dried. I questioned myself : Why? Why this bastard?
So, that's it for now. I hope you guys like it. I'd like to hear from everybody about their lives and experiences too. Maybe we could share some of it. I've already told you some through this story so far. More is to come, so stay tuned! Comments can reach me at one_shy_rugrat@hotmail.com or one_shy_rugrat@yahoo.ca
Copyrights@ 2001. One Shy Rugrat. All Rights Reserved.