Sleepy Days, Come No More
Chapter 12
My body was tensing from the pain. The room was spiraling out of control. I could not breathe. Blake was saying something but I could not comprehend. I clenched down in attempts to close my entry. I squeezed my eye lids tighter. There were knots in my stomach. I felt nauseous.
"Stop!" I screamed. "Get off me!" I was in a panic.
Blake withdrew from me and I scrabbled to my feet. I was attempting to leave the room, when Blake took my forearm in his hand. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked.
"I just need a minute." I said.
I went to the bathroom. I locked the door and turned off the light. I sat on the floor. The cold ceramic tiles were pressed against my bare skin, and sent a jolt through my body. I pulled my knees to my chest with my arms and rested my face upon them. I was swept over by emotion and hot tears began to pour from my eyes.
I sat there with my body completely tensed, rocking back and forth, as I cradled my legs in my arms. I felt completely open, like my skin had been turned inside out. I felt so vulnerable and ashamed. I kept replaying the scene over and over in my mind, it couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, but my entire life flashed before me in those seconds.
I continued to rock back and forth, faster and faster, trying to calm myself. Trying to shake the memories from my mind. I rocked myself until I fell asleep. It was the kind of sleep that stems from complete emotional exhaustion. It was comparable to the sleep a child gets after hours of crying and screaming, until finally they can't go on and drift away.
I slept for what felt like an eternity. It was a dreamless sleep. A sleep that only served the purpose of recuperation and escape. I was awakened by a cold hand on my upper arm. I found myself balled up on the cold floor. I opened my eyes and looked up to find Blake. Suddenly I began to burn with anxiety.
I didn't know if I could face him. It was like he could see through me, like I could not have any private thoughts or secrets. I cringed at the thought of him looking at me; searching me with those piercing emerald eyes. "Baby, get up, you have been in here for over an hour." Blake said in a concerned voice.
I was able to take hold of my breath; I rose to my feet, with Blake's strong hands guiding me along the way. I went over to the sink and splashed cold water across my face. Blake turned me around by my shoulders and began to dry my face. Then he kissed my forehead and led me to the bedroom by the hand.
We sat on the edge of the bed and Blake draped his arm around my shoulders. "Do you want to talk?" He asked softly.
I shook my head no. "I think I should go home. I just want to be alone for a while." I said.
"No, baby, it is late. If you want to be alone, you take the bedroom; I'll sleep on the couch." Blake advised.
"You don't have to. I can go home. I don't want to put you out." I said.
"Baby, its fine. I don't want you to leave tonight. Take the room." He encouraged.
"Okay. Thank you." I said.
He took a pillow and a blanket from the closet and left the room, closing the door behind him. I picked up my underwear from the floor and put them on. Then I went to the dresser and grabbed a pair of sweats and a shirt. I got dressed and then climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but I found myself encased in a pod of heat and the smell of Blake and I filled the inert air. The aroma was making me ill. I threw the covers from my body and staggered to my feet.
I went over to the windows and opened one. A cool breeze swept past my body, brushing across my face. I opened up the other two windows and climbed back into bed. I lay on my back and looked up at the blank ceiling and drifted off to sleep.
The next day I awoke to a cold, sun lit room. I stretched beneath the heavy covers and yawned deeply. I shifted around a little in search of a more comfortable position. I began to drift back off to sleep when the door opened and Blake entered the room.
"Good afternoon stud." Blake said with a smile.
"Afternoon." I said surprised as I looked over to the clock.
"Yes it's the afternoon." He said.
"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked.
"I thought you probably needed your rest." He said.
"I must have been more tired than I thought." I said.
"It is pretty cold in here; do you want me to close the windows?" He asked.
"Please. I was cold but I couldn't bring myself to climb out of bed so I just pulled the covers up further." I confessed.
Blake walked over and closed all the windows. I watched him lift his arms and bring each wood framed window down to a close, and then latched each lock. He had obviously been out running, because his shirt was soaked and clung to his sculpted body. Each time he stretched up to pull down a window, his ass would twitch. He was so beautiful.
He turned around and looked at me with a smile. His golden locks were constrained by a band and hung behind his head, but there were a few rebellious strands that rested on the side of his face. I could tell that the cold air had an effect on him, because his nipples were erect and pressed against his shirt. He must have noticed my gaze because he bit his lip and ran his hand across his chest. This caused me to bite my own lip.
He smiled and released a soft chuckle as he slowly moved his hand down his abdomen and into his crotch. He took himself in hand and began to rub. He closed his eyes and his mouth opened and his tongue darted out. He tilted his head back and started to increase the intensity. He moaned. I sighed.
The sunlight danced across his handsome face causing the beads of sweat on his brow to glisten. His cock was getting bigger and bigger. I realized that I was erect also, and was starting to drip. I wanted to reach down and touch myself, but I was completely entranced by Blake.
I wanted him. I needed to touch him, to taste him. I scrabbled to my feet and moved toward him. Once I had reached him I rested my face in his chest and inhaled deeply. I could fell his cold sweat cover my face and I rotated my head to assure that it covered each inch. He smelled of spice and wood, but it was intensified by his sweat, it was muskier, thicker.
I reached down and removed Blake's hand from his crotch. Then I took him in hand. He was so hard. His thick cock pulsed in my hand; sending a surge of electricity through my body. I squeezed him in my hand and Blake released a loud moan. I dropped to my knees and proceeded to pull down his pants. I rested my face in his crotch and rubbed it against his hard cock.
I was so hard that my cock was literally in pain, but I wanted to please him more than myself. I began to trace his cloth encased penis with my tongue. I took the tip in my mouth and Blake moaned again. I could taste him; it was an intense mixture of sweat, precum, and a small bit of piss. I loved how he tasted.
I began to remove his underwear, very slowly. I pushed my fingers between his waist and the band, and pulled them down. His cock sprang forward and slapped against his stomach. I took hold of him and gave him a few strokes. He gasped and pumped into my hand. I could wait no longer; I had to have him in me.
I brought his cock to my lips; I opened my mouth and slid onto him. I held him there for a while. Then I slowly pulled off and pushed back on until I had a steady rhythm. Over time Blake began to thrust forward and had taken hold of my head. I increased the pressure and speed. I could hear Blake's ragged breath. I knew that he was getting close.
I gripped his hips and worked him even faster. He let out a loud moan, it was almost a scream. Then rope after rope of hot cum filled my mouth. For a moment, I considered spitting it out, after all I never considered swallowing someone else's cum, not even my own, I thought that such things were unsanitary, but I wanted to be close to Blake, I wanted him inside me, so I swallowed every drop of his spunk.
It was salty and slightly spicy. I rested there for a moment, on my knees, and just soaked in the experience. I felt completely relieved. Then Blake reached down and pulled me into his arms. He looked in my eyes and smiled. He pressed his lips against mine and pushed his tongue into my mouth.
"Thank you baby." He said with a smile.
"It was my pleasure and I mean that." I said with a grin.
"Are you hungry?" He asked.
"Well, I just had quite a bit of protein, but I could eat." I said.
"Why don't you come and take a shower with me then I'll cook us some lunch." He said.
"That sounds real good Mr. Mitchell." I said.
We kissed for a little while, and then Blake took my hand and led me to the shower. I washed him first, starting with his hair and ending with his ass. Then he washed me in the same order. It was always nice to have him take care of me and for me to take care of him; I loved it.
After the shower we dried each other off and got dressed. I put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, Blake wore boxer briefs and a fitted tee shirt. Blake went in the kitchen and started lunch. I sat on a stool and watched him. We didn't talk, but from time to time he would look over at me and smile, or he would have me sample something from his finger.
I found it so sexy that he wanted to cook for me. I really appreciated it. He had done it plenty of times, but it always made me feel special, loved. We had goopy carbonara, which he knew I loved. And he made a pot of my favorite tea.
"You are awfully nice to me Mr. Mitchell." I said.
"Aren't I always nice to you baby?" He asked.
"Yes, you are." I said.
"Well, that's my job; I want to take care of you." He said sweetly.
"You are doing a really good job," I paused, "and I really appreciate it, I really do. I love you." I said.
"I love you too." He said.
After we ate, as we usually did, we washed the dishes together and cleaned the kitchen. It was quite cold that day, and it had started to rain. It was the weird kind of rain, when the sky is still filled with sunlight and there seems to be a cloud only over your neighborhood. Making it seem like nature is punishing you for something.
There is something about rainy days that make me tired; I guess it is the lack of sunlight or the soothing sound of rain falling in a rhythmic pattern. It just incites lounging. Apparently, Blake felt the same way because he suggested that we watch movies and cuddle.
So that is what we did, we watched movies and cuddled all day, only taking a break to use the bathroom or to get more refreshments. It was nice, watching movies, wrapped in a blanket with Blake's arms around me. That night Blake completed his exercises and we went to bed.
The next day Blake said that he wanted to go out and have a drink, so that evening we headed to Adam's the club we had spent New Year's at. It was a nice sized crowd there, but it was nowhere near as crowded as it had been for the New Year's party.
Blake and I went to the bar and Blake ordered us a couple of drinks, he had vodka and I had juice. After we finished our drinks Blake led me out to the dance floor. We danced for what felt like hours. Blake was really having a good time, and I was happy that he was.
He looked great under the lights. His shirt clung tightly to his hard body. He was quite a sight and I noticed that I was not the only person enjoying the view. We left the dance floor to rest for a minute.
"You look like you're having a good time." I said.
"I am, I haven't been out dancing in a while." He said.
"You are quite a dancer baby." I said.
"Yeah, do you like my moves?" He asked flirtatiously.
"I love your moves. You looked so sexy out there." I said with a smile.
"Maybe tonight I'll give you a private show." He said with a smirk.
"That would be nice." I said with a grin.
"Do you want something to drink?" He asked.
"Water, please, no ice." I said.
"Alright." He said as he walked to the bar.
I stood there and watched the activities that surrounded me. There was a lot of dancing. Some men were shirtless, some had on very short pants, and some were making out and groping each other. I had been out more since being with Blake but I still felt out of place in this type of atmosphere. It felt like an outer body experience, like I would soon wake.
As I stood there dazed by all the activity, I heard, "Baby." Blake was standing beside with the drinks. He passed me a glass of water.
"Thank you." I said.
"What were you thinking about? You seemed a bit gone?" He asked.
"I was just taking it all in; you know it is still weird going to clubs," I paused, "there is just so much energy in this place." I said.
"Good or bad?" He asked.
"Both." I replied.
"Do you feel alright?" He asked.
"I'm good." I said.
"Ready to go back out?" He asked.
"No, I'm going finish up my water, and then I'm going to the bathroom. I'll go back out there later, you go head baby, have fun." I instructed.
I watched Blake dance as I finished my drink, after I finished I made my way to the bathroom. I remembered where it was from the New Year's party. Once I entered the bathroom I went to a urinal and proceeded with my business.
Then a man came in, he had short black hair. He was about 5'11, and had a muscular build. He was an attractive man.
He took the urinal next to me. There were four other urinals available, so I wondered why he decided to use the one next to me. It made me very uncomfortable. I tried to urinate faster, in hopes of ending the discomfort.
I looked over and I saw him ogling me. He saw that I noticed and flashed a broad smile. I was just about finished and was about to give myself a couple of shakes, when this man motioned toward my cock.
"Excuse me. Do not touch me." I said sternly.
My words seemed to jolt him and he retracted his hand before making contact, "Sorry about that." He said.
I shook my cock a couple of times and then washed my hands and headed out of the bathroom. I went to the bar and sat for a while and watched the men, Blake included, dance.
"Man, I'm sorry." It was the man from the bathroom.
"Yeah, what were you thinking of?" I asked.
"First, my name is Jack." He smiled. "You were just looking so good and usually guys don't mind." Jack said.
"Well, Jack, I do mind. I don't want to be fondled in a public restroom by some random guy; it just doesn't seem like a good thing." I said.
"Well, will you accept my apology?" Jack asked meekly.
"Of course, no harm done, I suppose." I said.
"If there are no hard feelings, will you tell me your name?" Jack asked.
"I'm Steven." I said.
"Okay, Steven. I have never seen you here before." Jack said.
"Yes, I have only been here a couple of times." I explained.
"Can I buy you a drink?" Jack offered.
"No, I just had a glass of water." I said.
"We could do better than that, how about something harder?" Jack suggested.
"I don't drink." I said.
"Oh, wow. Well, do you dance?" Jack asked.
"A little. Look Jack I don't want you to waste your time, I am here with someone." I said.
"Well, maybe you could give me your number and I could take you out sometime." Jack said.
"No, Jack, I have a boyfriend." I said.
"That's too bad, but if you want to have a little side fun, I won't tell." Jack said with a smirk.
I chuckled, "No, I don't want to have side fun. Sorry." I said.
"No, I'm the one who is sorry. I would have had fun with you." Jack said.
"There are plenty of eager young men here, I'm sure someone would like your brand of fun." I said with a smile.
"Yeah, but I want you." Jack said.
"I think I will go and join my boyfriend on the dance floor. It was nice meeting you, I guess." I said as I walked away.
Once I made it to the dance floor, I began to look around for Blake. I saw him dancing with some hot guy. They looked like they were really enjoying themselves. I watched them for a moment, before walking over to Blake.
I tapped Blake on the shoulder, "Hey stud, should I be jealous?" I asked.
"No, baby, I was only thinking of you." Blake said.
"You silver tongued dog, you looked like you were having plenty of fun to me." I said with a smile.
"Come here and I will show everybody who I want." He said as pulled me close to him. He gave me a long passionate kiss, pressing his lips against mine and invading me with his hot tongue. "Do you like that baby?" He asked after he released me.
"Very much." I said.
"Come on, let's dance." He said.
We continued to dance, talking from time to time, though it was hard to do because of the music. We left the club around 1 in the morning. We went back to his place and went to bed. The next day it was back to work.
It was a busy day, lots of paper work and a couple of meetings. I finished up around 5:30 pm and headed home. Blake came over about 7 pm and we had dinner together and watched a documentary, Blake's choice, it was a retrospective of the development of Russia from a socialist state to a semi-republic. It was interesting and Blake was completely riveted.
After the documentary Blake did his exercises and I did some laundry and ironing. Then we both completed our hygiene and climbed into bed. Blake moved close behind me and wrapped his arms around my chest. I lay there for a while enjoying his warm body, but then I felt compelled to talk about what happened the other night.
I had been thinking about it a lot but I didn't really want to bring it up, so I decided to wait for Blake to mention it, but he had said nothing about it, so I decided that I could wait no longer.
"Baby." I said.
"Yeah." Blake said.
"We need to talk." I said.
"Okay." He said. He released me and turned on to his back and I turned on my side facing him.
"I want to talk about the other night." I said.
"Okay." He said.
"Well, it didn't go well. I wanted to," I paused, "I don't know let you know that it was me, not you, and ask how you felt about it." I explained.
"Um, it was pretty bad." He admitted. "You were pretty upset and I was trying to talk to you but you were completely gone. It was like you couldn't hear a word I said. It was not good." He said.
"No, it wasn't. I guess I wasn't as ready as I had hoped." I confessed. "I just panicked, I felt like everything was moving so fast, I just panicked." I said.
"Yes. You were really upset. It was scary." He said.
"I'm sorry. I just wished it would have gone differently." I paused. "I am just grateful that you were so kind to me, I really appreciate it." I said.
"Is there anything going on that you want to tell me about, anything that could explain your panic?" He asked.
"I just grew up being told that being gay is wrong and that it is a ticket to hell. I guess, the act of having sex, letting you penetrate me, just seemed like it was going to seal the deal. I just kept imagining my family and the people from church, and hearing the things that they would say to me if they knew what I was doing." I paused. "It just seems that if I let you enter me that I will somehow be less of a man." I confessed.
"That is understandable." He said.
"It might be understandable but it doesn't seem fair to you." I said.
"I knew when we started seeing each other that you were inexperienced and that it would take time before we could be together, in a way it was part of the attraction, you are just so innocent, I want to take care of you." He said.
"I want you to be honest, not kind." I said.
"Baby, it's the truth." He said.
I sighed heavily, "I am so relieved, and I was just so worried about it." I confessed.
"I would have said something but I wanted to wait until you were ready to talk." He explained.
"Well, we made tremendous progress, you got the head in, maybe one day we will be able to start on the shaft." I said playfully.
"One inch at a time." He said with a chuckle.
"Well, you have quite a few inches, so I guess we have time." I said with a smirk.
We talked for a while longer and then we resumed our original position, me on my side with Blake close behind me with his arms wrapped around me. The next morning we followed our regular routine. Blake went for a run I watched the morning news and cooked breakfast. We showered together and headed out to work.
Special thanks to Oscar, Arch, Gary, Khalid, Vern, JT, and Mikal for their encouraging comments and helpful insight, it is greatly appreciated.
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