Sleepy Days, Come No More
Chapter 30
With October gone it wasn't long before I found myself deep into November, which meant that final examines and the impending holiday season were looming.
I went through the eleventh month much like I had gone through the tenth. I focused on my studies and continued my therapy, while contending with an often hectic work schedule. I also made a concerted effort to maintain a personal life. I went out to lunch with Vanessa and visited with Marie on a weekly basis, and I allowed Michael to persuade me to go out with him a couple of times.
And then there was Sean, we continued to go out on a regular basis. I was still enjoying his company. He could be overly confident at times but I found his brazen behavior amusing. He was sexy and he knew it and that within itself was hot. Needless to say, we shared some intimate nights.
Blake had called and thanked me for the globe the day after I presented it to him, but we had not spoken since. I also stopped asking Vanessa about him. I could tell it made her a little uneasy and it was not a healthy choice for me.
This evening I was attending a gay pride function at the university with Michael and a couple of his friends. It was a medium sized crowd, around fifty or sixty people. There was a lot of talk about the importance of support among homosexuals, the high suicide rate of gay teenagers and the need for social equality.
After the ceremony refreshments were served and people were taking the opportunity to mingle. I found an uninhabited area and started to check my emails. I was doing this for a brief time before I was disturbed by Michael. He signaled for me to join him and another man. I slowly made my way over to them.
"Steve this is Professor Donnelly. Professor Donnelly this is the friend I told you about, Steven." Michael said with a smile.
"Professor Donnelly, hello." I said.
"Hello. Michael tells me that you are in psychiatric nursing." Professor Donnelly stated.
"Yes. That is right." I confirmed.
"Professor Donnelly is the head of the sociology department. He is the faculty liaison for the gay-straight student alliance." Michael said proudly.
"Oh, that is great. I know it must take a lot of work to organize these events." I observed.
"Well, the students do the majority of the work I am just a consultant." Professor Donnelly explained.
"It is an admirable thing nonetheless." I said.
"Thank you." Professor Donnelly said.
"Well, I wanted to introduce you because we are planning a mental health fair in January, and I told Professor Donnelly that you may be persuaded to help." Michael informed sheepishly.
"Oh." I exclaimed.
"Michael told me all about the type of work you do and I think that you could make a great contribution to the event, but I understand you must be busy and if you can't . . . . . you can't." Professor Donnelly conceded.
"Come on Steve, I will help you." Michael encouraged.
"You will help me." I said skeptically.
"Yeah, I can be your assistant. I can run errands, type, hum, whatever you need." Michael replied enthusiastically.
"Well, the semester will be over soon, I suppose I can help. Can I let you know in a week or so?" I asked.
"Of course. I have some contact cards in my briefcase, excuse me." Professor Donnelly said as he departed.
"Thanks for throwing me under the bus." I said playfully.
"I didn't throw you under the bus." Michael replied.
"You completely put me on the spot. You could have asked me about the fair yourself." I said.
"I could have, but I thought that you might say no." Michael said with a laugh.
"Thanks, you are a real prince." I said.
"Are you mad at me? Don't be mad at me." Michael said in a sweet voice.
"I reserve that right until we see how this thing works out." I countered.
"So, does that mean you will do it?" Michael asked.
"Probably, but don't commit me. I want to think about it." I informed.
"Okay." He agreed.
We continued to talk among ourselves until Professor Donnelly returned.
"Sorry about that, I was stopped by a student." Professor Donnelly explained as he passed me his card.
"No problem, thank you Professor." I said.
"I really appreciate you considering this and call me Robert, most of my students do." He instructed.
"Okay, Robert, it was nice meeting you and I will contact you soon." I said.
"It was nice meeting you too Steven, I look forward to hearing from you." Robert replied.
We all shook hands and parted ways. Michael and I went over to the library and studied for a couple of hours and then went over to the student union to eat. After we ate we went outside and sat.
"So what did you think of the Professor?" Michael asked.
"He seems nice. Why?" I asked.
"You don't think he is cute?" He asked.
"I guess, he is okay." I conceded.
"Just okay?" He probed.
"What, do you like him?" I asked.
"I think he is sexy." He confessed.
I laughed.
"What? He is, the way he sits on his desk during lectures and bites the tip of his pen." He said.
"He has to be around 45." I said.
"So." He retorted.
"You are barely 19; he probably has children your age. I mean he was wearing a wedding band." I said.
"I didn't say anything would come of it. I just think he is cute." He said.
"Why don't you call him Robert? He says that all of his students do." I asked
He blushed, "I like calling him professor. It just feels good." He said.
"Well, I guess there is nothing wrong with a little school house crush." I said with a smile.
"So, are we still having the study group Thursday?" He asked.
"Yes, it is crunch time." I replied.
"Yeah the semester is almost over, it went by so fast." He said.
"Thanksgiving is coming up are you going home?" I inquired.
"No, uh, I think I am just going to stay at the dorms. I mean the semester is almost over, so there is no reason to go all the way home and come back just to have to leave again in December." He explained.
"That makes sense. What do your parents think?" I asked.
"They said it is fine, they aren't really in to the holidays anyway." He informed.
"Oh. Well, why don't you spend the holiday at my place?" I suggested.
He smiled, "Really, that would be cool." He said.
"Yeah, we can overeat and watch movies and we can even argue so it will really feel like a family holiday." I said playfully.
"That would be great." He said.
"Good." I said in agreement.
We continued to talk and then walked back to his dorm and waited for my cab. The next week was pretty calm actually. Things were slow at work and school was winding down, so it was a nice change. The next week included Thanksgiving.
Michael came over Tuesday evening and got settled. We spent the holiday with Marie, Thomas, and a combination of their relatives. I enjoyed myself, it is just always weird being around a functional family, it is like visiting the twilight zone.
After Thanksgiving things sped up a bit. Work wasn't too bad, it was mostly school that posed the most challenges. Finals were starting, so there was a lot of late night studying. I felt confident about finals, but it was just that last minute tension.
Once finals were over and the semester was behind me, things became more relaxed. Michael asked if he could spend winter break at my place and I agreed. It was nice having him around; I had come to look at him like a kid brother.
I was still spending a considerable amount of time with Sean. We were meeting for dinner on this night. I left my therapy session and then went home to freshen up and get ready for my date with Sean. When I finished getting changed I talked with Michael for a while until Sean arrived.
Then we headed out to dinner. After dinner we went back to Sean's place and fooled around. We lay there for a minute, in his bed, trying to catch our breath.
"Good job." I said with a smile as I playfully slapped his chest.
"Yeah, give me a few minutes and maybe we can go for round two." He said with a smirk.
"Well, it will have to be quick, I need to leave soon." I said through labored breath.
"Why are you always in such a hurry to leave? Are you displeased with the service?" He asked with a smirk.
I reached over and ran my fingers across his face, "The service is exceptional, but once services have been rendered, I see no reason to stick around . . . . . I would hate to prevent you from serving the rest of your clients." I said with a chuckle.
He smiled, "Oh, now I am a prostitute." He said with a laugh.
"Those are your words, not mine." I contended.
"Seriously, why the rush?" He said.
"I just have a lot of things to do, finals are coming up and I have some files I want to review . . . . . just been busy." I explained.
"That is a great reason, which brings me to another point . . ." He said.
"Another point?" I asked.
"Yeah, we constantly drive past your house to get to mine." He said. "If it is a matter of time, then why don't we start meeting at your place?" He suggested.
I thought for a moment, "Having sex at my place instead of yours, won't stop end result." I countered.
"It would save some time. I mean you would be at home so the travel time from here to there would be eliminated, and that way we might be able to squeeze in another round or two." He said flirtatiously.
I sighed heavily and grinned.
"What?" He inquired.
"I just don't understand why you seem so determined to use my place." I admitted.
"What's the big deal? It just makes more sense." He retorted.
"It isn't a big deal, I like your place. It's great. I mean you have an endless supply of condoms and lube, not to mention all of those frightening toys and contraptions . . . . . it is the perfect hook up place." I explained.
"Toys and contraptions that you decline to use." He countered.
"We don't need any of those things, but they do create an erotic atmosphere." I said with a smirk.
"I think you just don't want me in your apartment." He said with smile.
"Okay, even if that was the case, would it matter? I mean we both know what this is, we are not in a relationship; we are just having fun." I informed.
"Yeah we are just having fun, but we can have fun at your place too." He contended.
"But we are having plenty of fun now." I said.
"True, but I bet that you have had fun at your place with someone else." He said with a smirk.
"Are you serious?" I said with a laugh. "Is this about Blake?" I asked.
"I didn't mention rich boy." He said.
"But you know that he is the only other guy that I've been with." I countered.
He just smiled broadly, flashing those adorable dimples.
"You have asked me to stay over a few times, and now you are pushing for us to meet at my place, but I can't help but wonder if I wasn't so opposed to it would you even care." I stated.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"I mean if I didn't want to leave would you want me to stay? If I wanted you to come over to my place would you really want to go?" I paused. "I think you just want what you can't have. If I wanted to spend the night with you every time we hooked up, I think you would be completely turned off by that." I said bluntly.
He smiled sheepishly.
"How many of your other friends, past and present, have you wanted to stay over? Or better yet how many times have you stayed over some other guy's place?" I probed.
He just continued to smile.
"Exactly." I said.
"Okay, that is one view, but you and I both know that the real reason that you don't want to sleep over or have me over to your place is because you are still hung up on Blake." He asserted.
I smiled, "You knew how I felt about Blake from the beginning and it is the reason that I don't want to have you over to my place. I don't want to be with you in the same bed I shared with him, it is just too soon." I admitted.
"Steve, I like you and I am enjoying our arrangement. Though, it is a little different . . . . . . having someone get up and leave after, usually that is my department, but that doesn't mean that I only want you to stay over because you don't want to or that I only want to go to your place because you haven't invited me. I guess I would like the option. I am used to having the choice." He confessed.
"Aww, it is a bit of an ego blow. Sorry stud." I said sarcastically as I reached over and ruffled his damp hair.
"It isn't an ego blow," He paused and thought, then smiled and conceded, "well, maybe it is a little bit of an ego blow, but sometimes I just want to relax a few minutes afterward. You are up and getting dressed before I can catch my breath." He said.
I laughed, "Honestly, I didn't think that it would bother you, I thought that it was the way these things are handled." I confessed.
"Look, I'm not saying move in or that we are going steady . . . . . . I just want it to be more relaxed and less rushed, like I said sometimes I want to go for seconds or thirds." He said with a smirk.
"That sounds pretty draining." I said playfully.
"That's why I keep all the Gatorade, to keep hydrated." He said with a smile.
"I guess I don't have to rush off all the time." I confessed.
"Good." He said.
"Well, if you give me a ride home maybe I'll return the favor." I said flirtatiously.
"That sounds fair." He said with a smirk.
Later that night Sean took me home and I went to bed.
The next day I went to work and had lunch with Robert, the professor. We discussed the details of the impending fair. I was able to get a small grant from the hospital and had arranged for pamphlets and Robert had compiled a small list of potential speakers.
After lunch I returned to work and then went home.
The next couple of weeks were a little hectic. I had finished my Christmas shopping and sent out my cards and gifts. I had decided to have Christmas at my place this year so I was excited about that, and my 26th birthday was coming up.
I really didn't plan to do anything for my birthday, but Marie insisted that we at least go out for drinks and Sean said that he wanted to take me out too, so I decided that we could all go out together. Marie, Thomas, Lena, David, Michael, Sean, and Vanessa were all in attendance.
We ended up at a nice restaurant and then went out to a bar. Everything went well. It was a little strange going out with my friends and being with Sean. I mean it was a big deal when I introduced everyone to Blake and they loved him, and I didn't want them to get the wrong idea about Sean and I.
We stayed out pretty late and then we all went our separate ways. Marie and Thomas took Michael home and I left with Sean. We talked in the car on the way to his place.
"Did you have a good time birthday boy?" He asked.
"Yeah. It was nice. I usually just stay in but Marie has managed to get me out the last few years." I said.
"That's good. There is no need for you to be at home alone on your special day." He said.
"Well, technically I am only one day older." I said.
"What?" He asked.
"Well, yesterday I was 25 years and 364 days old, now I am 26 and about 13 hours." I said with a smile.
"That is one way to look at." He said.
"Did you have a good time?" I asked.
"Yeah, you're friends are nice." He said.
"Yeah they are. I didn't think they would be your kind of crowd." I confessed.
"What does that mean?" He inquired.
"I just mean they are more laid back and umm, easy going." I explained.
"Wow." He said.
"I just mean that you are more of an outgoing and party type of guy, and my friends are not." I said.
"You are such a bigot, don't put me in a box, I like all kinds of people." He said with a smile.
"I'm sorry. Clearly I was wrong. Forgive me dimples." I said playfully.
"I don't know maybe you can convince me later." He said flirtatiously.
"Oh, I bet I can." I said and reached over and touched his crotch.
"You're going to make me crash." He said with a laugh.
We arrived at his place and engaged bedroom aerobics. Then we talked, at first about nothing, but later about our dreams. I mean we literally talked about what we wanted out of life, from childhood aspirations that were seemingly impossible to the most attainable desire. It was the first intimate conversation we had ever had.
Somewhere along the way, unintentionally, we fell asleep. I slept really well, better than I had in weeks. I don't know what I dreamed of but I know they were happy dreams. I woke the next morning free of anxiety or panic. I hadn't planned to sleep over, but I didn't regret it.
I lay there for a while and just allowed myself to become fully lucid. Then I went to the bathroom and freshened up. As I was getting dressed Sean started to stir. He opened his eyes and yawned, then turned on his side and looked at me.
"You sneaking out?" He asked with a smile.
"Well, I was trying to." I confessed.
"Why?" He inquired.
"I didn't want to wake you it is barely 6 o'clock." I explained.
"You call a cab yet?" He asked.
"No." I answered.
"Don't. I'll take you home." He said.
"No, that's not necessary." I said.
"It's fine, just let me use the bathroom and throw on some sweats." He insisted.
"Okay." I agreed.
We didn't really talk during the ride, it was clear that neither of us had fully adjusted to being awake yet. Once we arrived at my building I thanked him for the ride and for the hospitality. Then I headed inside. I tried to enter the apartment quietly but Michael was a light sleeper.
He razed me a bit for staying out so late and then went back to sleep. The next day Lena and Marie came over to visit. We had lunch and watched a movie, and then we started to talk.
"So what's going on with you and Sean?" Lena asked.
"Nothing, just having fun." I said.
"There are a lot of ways to have fun." Marie added.
"Well, I am sure that we are doing at least one of those things." I said with a smile.
"I am sure you are; he is very sexy." Lena contended.
"I know, he is so cocky, it is so hot." I confessed.
"Yeah he is sexy, but are you sure you know what you are doing?" Marie asked.
"What do you mean?" I inquired.
"I mean, it just doesn't seem like your style." Marie explained.
"My style, you mean Sean?" I asked.
"No, it's not Sean, he actually kind of reminds me of Blake." Marie said.
"He reminds you of Blake? How?" I asked in surprise.
"They are both handsome, blonde, sexy, charming, and confident, though Sean's confidence is more arrogant." She explained.
"You really think so?" I asked.
"Well, from my perspective." Marie said.
"What do you think Lena? Does Sean remind you of Blake?" I probed.
"A little, it is hard to say, I only met him once, but he does have that confidence factor." Lena confessed.
"When I said style I was referring to the casual sex aspect. It just doesn't seem like something you would be into." Marie explained. "I mean Blake was your first and you were really nervous about that and now you are having sex with Sean and describe it as just having fun." Marie said.
"It is just fun." I affirmed.
"It is a bit surprising." Lena added.
We continued to talk about my relationship and then moved on to theirs. We also discussed the impending holiday.
Acknowledgment:
There are plenty of sad things to acknowledge but today I want to tell you about two interesting things I heard about the mysterious Jonathan.
J.T. thought that Jonathan might not exist, but could be the name given to a drug. I thought that was so creative, the personification of addiction. That was very intriguing.
Clayton said that he dreamed that he had a dream about the story and that in the dream he was following Steven without being noticed and that Steven walked through a door and this is what happened:
"Blake sitting on a couch with this little boy in his lap reading to the kid. It was like they didn't even see us and the kid said, Daddy what happened next?' Then Blake said Oh Jonathan, You know...'"
Wow. After reading that I contemplated my creative ability. I was like J.T. and Clayton should finish the story.
Do you guys have any thoughts or ideas about Jonathan? Or any dreams about the story? If so let me know, I bet they are really cool.
Have fun and Be safe.
Appreciation:
Special thanks to Oscar, Lou, Arch, Clayton, Jake, Ed, Adolfo, Khalid, Gary, Vern, Lance, Oz, Dudung, Alan, Terry, John J, Harold, Barry, Michael B., Cameron, Randy, Liam, Byron, Kris, Bryan, Fred, David, Joseph, Shawn, Bobby, Gregory, Bill, David R., Ron, Bruce, Tom, Curtis, JT and Mikal for their support, and everyone who has taken the time to follow this story, I really appreciate you all.
Sincerest thanks to Nifty and all of the wonderful participants who make this site possible, from the generous donors to the archivists and administrators, you all are truly appreciated.
Last but not least, thanks to the editor, Raziya, for all of the wonderful work.
Let Me Know:
Please, forward any comments or feedback to bonotorros@yahoo.com.