Snow Day

This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.

You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.

This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.

Copyright 2005 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.

Questions and commentary can be sent to: "JasonCalme@yahoo.com". My blog: http://jcalme.blogspot.com/

Snow Day - Chapter 6

For the second time I awoke tangled up in Howie's arms and legs. His head was against my shoulder, and when I tilted my head his hair brushed against my cheek. I rocked my head back and forth a couple of times, feeling it softly brush against me. Just the feel of it made me shiver. If I could, I'd stop everything just to live in this moment forever.

I lay there and waited; constructing little stories in my head of our future together. Going camping, walking on the beach, buying a house together, growing old together.

Stories that I knew would never come true.

Howie made a noise, startled, and rolled away from me.

I turned my head and looked across and saw him staring at me. He looked sleepy. Rather dreamy really, but I put that out of my head. His expression was unreadable. I wondered how he was going to react.

"Uh hi," he said, not quite catching my eye.

I stared at him, and he stared at me for a second and then looked away, nervously chewing his bottom lip. God he was cute.

I sighed inside. Well, I'd got him out on this ledge; I guess it was my job to talk him down.

"Hey," I whispered. "How you doing?"

"Okay," he said, glancing at me and smiled nervously, still not able to look at me directly.

"Sure?"

There was a pause. "Uh...Yeah."

There was a long silence. I thought maybe he'd say something, but he didn't. He just lay there staring into space with large blinking eyes and a blank expression.

"Um..." I began. "There's something I wanted to say."

"Okay," he said, his eyes finally coming to rest on mine.

I rolled on my side so that I was facing him, but I was careful not to actually move any closer.

"You know I like you," I began.

Howie raised one eyebrow as though confused or surprised, but then he couldn't help smiling. I reached out and shoved him gently.

"Okay, I really like you," I corrected, and we both grinned. "...And, well, I'm really glad that we..." and I paused because I honestly didn't know quite how to talk about last night, so I didn't.

"Um...so look," I pressed on. "I just wanted to say that it's been great to spend time with you and get to...get to know you and...I just wanted you to know that I understand..."

Howie frowned, but I continued.

"I don't...If you want to go, I'll understand. If you just want to just be friends...I'd really like to still be friends." I was beginning to worry that I wasn't making much sense, but I kept going.

"Whatever you need to do, I understand..." I lay there beside him, trying to think if there was anything more I wanted to add. "I know this isn't something you were expecting or wanted, and I'm not expecting anything more," I finally rushed to my conclusion, and stopped, waiting to see his reaction.

But Howie just lay there staring at me.

"Uh...I guess that's it..." I said, and looked into Howie's eyes, and he nodded and gave me a small smile, and just lay there, his head on the pillow.

And I lay there, searching for some reaction. But he just lay there, staring back and saying nothing. And doing nothing.

He just lay there staring back at me.

After a minute or two of that, I guess I felt confused and nervous, and I had this weird urge to laugh. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't exactly start laughing, I just kind of broke into a grin and he grinned back at me.

"Uh, this is...this is usually where you say something," I finally said.

"Say something?"

"Yeah, like, oh, 'I really have to get going,' or 'Can't we just be friends,' or 'fuck that, let's fuck!' Something like that."

"Oh," he said, and still didn't say anything.

So I poked him.

"Hey!"

He slithered back against the wall. I went to poke him again.

"Okay, okay," he laughed, putting up his hands in supplication.

I stopped my attack.

"So?" I asked.

Howie took a deep breath, and then answered very slowly. "Uh...okay, well, that's...yeah fine. And I don't know."

I lay there staring back at him. "You don't know?"

"Yeah," he nodded slowly. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize. Just, what do you mean 'don't know?'"

Howie lay there for a long moment, then he sighed. "I'm just, it's like a jumble of things running through my head and I can't put it all together, so I'm sorry but I don't know what to tell you."

"But what are you thinking?" I persisted. He must be thinking something. I needed some guidance here; was the reaction basically positive or negative?

He frowned. "I'm...I'm thinking that I should leave. I'm thinking about what people will think..."

"Okay...okay," I groaned, I guess I'd got my answer.

But Howie moved towards me.

"No wait!" he almost pleaded. "I'm also thinking about how much I've enjoyed the last couple of days, how much fun it is to be with you, and about how great it was last night..."

I felt happy again. All warm and happy. I smiled back at him nervously.

"You had fun?" I asked. He was now almost on top of me. I had rolled slightly onto my back as he had advanced toward me, and now I was lying there and he had his arm over me, propping himself up as he starred down into my eyes.

"You couldn't tell?" he asked.

I paused for a moment. "Well, there were some signs," I said, and then I couldn't help myself; I giggled.

"I had a lot of fun," he whispered sexily, and a shiver ran up my spine. I remembered him lying on top of me, our naked bodies slick and slippery. The feel of his body as I ran my hands down his back. His erection rubbing against mine and into my pelvis. And most of all the tensing of his body, his groan in my ear and the warm flood of liquid on my chest as he came.

I felt myself redden a little and he smiled. "And we didn't even..." and he grinned even larger.

"Yeah, well," I felt myself blush even further. "I don't just put out the first time, you know."

"Hey!" he smirked. "And you think I do?"

I stared back at him seriously for a moment and then nodded. "Yes," I said, "I do," and then I burst into laughter.

"Yeah, well...not always. Not as much as you'd think," he said, and he almost looked wistful.

A flash of jealousy passed through me anyway.

"So uh..."

"I guess we should..." he interrupted

There was a knock at the door.

"What?" I yelled.

"Are you two decent?" my mother called through the door.

Well no, we were both naked. But I wasn't going to yell that back at her.

"Just a minute!" I called, and I reached out and grabbed our t-shirts off the floor, and threw one to Howie. We both quickly pulled them on.

"Come in!"

My mother opened the door and leaned in. She looked at us sitting in bed looking innocent, and she laughed. I don't know what I looked like, but I looked at Howie and realized that apart from the fact his hair looked like it'd just been through a wringer, he was wearing my t-shirt inside out.

"Are you two getting up for breakfast?" she asked.

"Yes Mom," I said. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Howie nod.

"I have to go out and show a house. Will you two be okay on your own?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Okay, well don't get into too much trouble," she said, and turned and walked out, pulling the door closed behind her.

I looked at Howie, who was now bright red.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Do you think..."

"What?" I asked.

"She thinks we..."

"Thinks we?'..." and then I realized what he was asking. "Oh! Uh..." I shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. Probably."

"Are you gonna tell her?" he asked, looking panicked.

"No! Why would I?"

"I don't now," he still looked concerned. "But what if she thinks we...?"

"It's okay Howie." I couldn't really understand what he was getting worked up about. I mean we had done something. Did it matter exactly how far we had gone?

"It is?" he said slowly.

"Yeah, well I'm sure I'll get some safe sex lectures and stuff, but it's okay. At least I think it is..." and then I thought about it. I guess I needed to talk to my Mom and find out. But she'd been okay. She must have thought last night we might do something. She'd have said something if she had thought we shouldn't.

I tried to put the whole thing out of my head. I really wanted to talk more about us. But Howie's disposition had changed again. Howie was now worrying about my Mom, and maybe he was wanting to get away from the whole thing, but I could tell that he was in no mood to talk any more. He looked fretful and antsy.

"Wanna shower and have breakfast?" I asked.

For a second Howie nodded as though enthusiastic, and then he looked worried.

"Uh, do you, ummm..." he began.

"What?" I asked him.

"You mean together?" he whispered.

Inside my heart sighed. After the thrill of the night before, reality seemed to be stripping everything away from me. I'd been telling myself all along that Howie might get spooked, but it didn't make it any easier. I didn't know what else to do, so I did what I had to.

"Nah. Why don't you go first and then I'll shower after you."

"Sure?" Howie asked, but he looked relieved.

More heartache.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Okay," said Howie, and he was out of bed so fast you'd have thought the house was on fire. He grabbed the sweatpants off the floor and pulled them on, then gave me a nervous smile before going off to the bathroom.

I lay back in the bed and sighed to myself. What was I supposed to do now?

After showering we went down and had breakfast. It was cereal, juice, and I had some toast. Howie was quiet and so was I. It was that strange awkwardness that seems to happen when a relationship unexpectedly advances further than one - or both - of the participants expected. Or maybe wanted.

Not that we didn't have a good time getting there. The problem was; what do we do now?

As introspective as Howie appeared in his songs, I didn't get the impression that he was up for a big heart-to-heart right now, and I wasn't sure I was either. I really worried that if I pushed now Howie was going to abandon the whole thing.

Better to do some activity to take our minds off the whole thing.

"Hey. Wanna go to Costco?" I asked him.

"What?" asked Howie, looking at me curiously.

"Costco? You know what Costco is? It's a big warehouse place, kind of like B.J.'s."

"Yeah, I've heard of it," he said, still looking unsure.

"There's one near Rochester. We need a few things. It's fun. Trust me."

"Uh. Okay."

If Howie was skeptical, he was at least good-natured about it. It took a little over an hour to get there, but it was a fun drive. We listened to music and started talking again. Talking about nothing, but at least talking. It seemed like the awkwardness was starting to disappear.

We got to Costco and parked, then I grabbed a cart and gave it to Howie, even though he tried to beg off it.

"You get to be the roady on this trip." I told him

I flashed the membership card as we walked into the building, Howie staring a little wide-eyed at the place.

"They don't spend much on decorations, do they?" he said casually.

"Uh, no," I laughed. "But it's good, though you have to buy lots of stuff."

"Huh?"

"A lot of the food is in huge quantities," I explained.

"Oh."

"We have a company account. Mainly get stuff for the office."

"Office?"

"The Real Estate office. You know, cartons of toilet paper, paper towels and chocolate cookie mix."

"Chocolate cookie mix?"

I laughed. "Yeah. Old real estate trick. Have freshly cooked cookies when you have an open house. Vanilla on the light bulbs works too."

"Okay," Howie nodded. I don't think he really believed me.

"It's the smell. Makes people feel at home and comfortable. Come on," I said. "Let's get some samples. Then we can get pizza later. They have great pizza here."

I led Howie down to the end of the food isles where some sample trolleys were set up. We had some chicken fingers, juice, and ravioli. The old lady heating up the chicken fingers rolled her eyes when we guiltily took seconds, but she didn't chase us away.

"Not much of a selection," Howie said, looking at the CDs.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I don't buy much stuff here."

"Napster huh?"

"Eh, a bit," I nodded.

"Ripping off the poor musicians? How could you?!" he said, pretending to sound upset.

"You're just pissed cause I never downloaded your stuff," I said, and I nudged his back with my arm and he gave me a sideways glance and then he leaned against me and we stood there for a second or two just touching each other, and suddenly I felt all hopeful again.

We separated and I walked about six feet away from him and tried to appear as though I wasn't actually with him. It's not that I think gays can't be affectionate in public; I guess I'm just not a big PDA kind of person. I don't even feel comfortable when breeders do it.

CUT TO:

Montage of us shopping in Costco. Hey, every romantic movie (is that what I'm making here?) has a montage. Helps establish a relationship and passing of time all in one go. Pretty clever huh? I'm not sure exactly what might go into this montage, so make up your own. Here's a few visual images: Howie. Howie hanging on front of carriage as I push him. Stealing samples from the old ladies at the sample carts. Carrying large stacks of toilet paper. Trying on the Hawaiian shirts...

CUT TO:

"So what do you think of Costco?" I asked him. We were sitting eating pizza in the small food court.

Howie grinned. "It's okay."

"Not your kind of shopping?" I asked. Howie's fashion sense seemed a little above the level of clothing at Costco.

"I hate shopping," he said.

"Uh huh." I raised my eyebrows.

"What?"

"Nothing," I smirked.

"What?"

"Someone that travels with as many clothes as you..." I laughed.

He shrugged. "The more clothes, the less laundry you have to do," and he grinned at me.

There was a long pause, and I looked around at the people sitting next to us as I chewed on a piece of pizza.

"So I was thinking," Howie said.

"Yeah?"

A line like that just begs for you to say something like 'there's a first,' or 'do you do that often?' or something smart-ass like that, but I bit back the urge. Somehow, the way he said it made it sound serious and not just a casual segue.

"Yeah. They said the car will be ready tomorrow."

"Oh yeah," I nodded. Reality suddenly re-entering and threatening my happiness.

"I'll be going down to New York."

"Yeah."

He stared at me. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come," he finally said.

"Uhh..." I needed time to digest this. God! Even I wasn't expecting it!

"It's cool if you don't want to," he said quickly, looking away.

"Oh uh...I'm just surprised. Well, wasn't expecting it."

"Okay."

"I'd love to go," I said. "Just, uh...you know, give me a bit to digest it all."

"Yeah, sure."

And we didn't talk about it again until we got home. But somehow the awkwardness seemed to have crept back into things.

Mom was in her bedroom putting clothes into the dresser when I found her.

"Hey," I said.

"Sweetheart," my Mom called back to me, smiling.

"Uh..." I began awkwardly, slowly stepping into the room.

My Mom stopped and turned to face me.

"Uh...I was...Howie asked me if I wanted to go to New York with him."

"New York?"

"Yeah, that's where he's going when the car's fixed. He's going to be there for three or four days I think," I felt like I was trembling or something. I didn't know why I was so nervous.

My Mom nodded. "So you'd go down with him? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. If his car is fixed."

My Mom nodded, but didn't say anything more.

"Is that okay?" I asked finally. "I know I was going to help you with that open house..."

"It'll be okay," my Mom said.

"So it's okay if I go?"

"Yes. Sure," my Mom nodded.

"Thanks Mom," I hugged her.

I had been expecting her to say something about the idea, but she wasn't forthcoming. In some ways I was relieved. I didn't know if I was up to analyzing this too much.

"You don't think it's a good idea?" I found myself saying. Damn! Sometimes I just can't quite when I'm ahead.

My Mom looked at me thoughtfully.

"I can't tell you what to do. You're old enough to make your own decisions."

Somehow the last sentence sounded like it was supposed to end in 'mistakes' rather than decisions.

"Why don't you like him?" I almost whined.

"I like Howie. He's a nice boy."

"But?"

"And you're a nice boy, and I don't think either of you know what you're doing. But you'll have to find out someway. Just be careful."

Now I was puzzled. What was she trying to say?

"He's not going to hurt me," I objected.

"Not intentionally, no. But Sam, you have to know, he's not as comfortable with...things as you are."

"What do you mean?"

But my Mom wasn't going to take the bait.

"You know what I mean, Sam."

I sighed inside. My Mom was just pointing out the blindingly obvious to me, but I still hated it. It made me want to defend the stupidity of the whole thing even more.

"He's just...he's just...well he's still adjusting."

My mother didn't look convinced. But she didn't say anything. I think she knew it would only make me defend my position even harder.

"What?" I persisted. Come on Mom, say something so I can tell you how wrong you are.

"If that was all there was, and that's a big thing Sam, you know that. But look, he's...he's on the road all the time. He doesn't live near here. You're going to be starting college in the fall. When are the two of you going to spend time together? Get to know each other?"

"Mom!" What I really wanted to say was 'Stop being so rational! Can't you see we're in love,' but it sounded so trite and pointless.

"How's he going to have a chance to adjust?" my mother asked.

I stood there. Yeah, well there was that. Really, when I thought about it at all, it was obvious to me that there were so many obstacles to this going anywhere.

Damn. I didn't know what to say.

"So you don't want me to go?" I asked, trying to be grown up about it but as I said it I had this feeling I was sounding more like a petulant child.

"No. Go. You're going to have to find out for yourself."

"Thanks Mom," I said. Take it while I can.

I went down the hall thinking; 'yeah, this isn't going to work, so it's just some fun.' But wait, if it's just fun, what does that mean? I always thought I was a hopeless romantic, not someone that would engage in casual sex. But if I knew this had no future, then that's what it was. It was just casual sex, right?

Okay, I've got to stop over-thinking this stuff.

I found Howie waiting in my bed room.

"What'd she say? She said no, didn't she?" he asked nervously.

"No," I grinned, happy to see he had been so anxious. "She said it's fine."

"Great!" Howie smiled and suddenly he hugged me and for the moment my concerns were forgotten. I kissed him on the cheek. It was the first time I'd kissed him since the day before. He froze for a moment and then pulled back and stared at me.

"Uh..." I began to apologize.

"It's cool," he whispered, and then he leaned in and kissed me on the lips quickly. I went to put my arms around him, but before I had a chance to really enjoy it he pulled away and stepped back, looking like he was ready to run out the room or something.

"Mind if I play?" he asked, pointing at the guitar case in the corner.

"Oh, sure," I said, the disappointment obvious in my voice, but Howie ignored it.

Howie took the guitar out of the case and sat down on the end of the bed and started playing. I stood there watching for a moment, and then decided I might as well do something. I grabbed my book off the desk and lay down on the bed. Howie glanced over and smiled at me, but kept playing.

Actually, it was kind of relaxing lying there reading as Howie played.

That night, dinner began awkwardly, and just seemed to get stranger as it went on. I had this feeling that my Mom wanted to say things to Howie, but she was too polite to do so. Or she didn't want to embarrass me.

Howie seemed to be nervous too. Maybe he was picking up on the vibe from my Mom. Maybe he was worried about what my Mom thought about him and me, or that she would change her mind or something.

And I just sat there feeling uncomfortable and not sure what to say or do.

And then his phone rang.

It hadn't rung once since he'd gotten here; I think it had been off most of the time, so it was almost a shock when this unfamiliar noise broke the silence of the dinner.

In some ways I was almost relieved that we had the interruption. Things had been all together too quiet and tense.

Howie pulled the phone out of his pocket, glanced at it and then excused himself and disappeared out into the hallway. My Mom watched him go, and then she turned to me and looked as though she was going to say something. Then she paused.

"How's the chicken?" she finally asked.

"It's good," I smiled.

When Howie finally came back he didn't look happy.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded. "I'll tell you later."

And so we finished dinner and went and sat and watched TV. All the time Howie was quiet, and I couldn't tell if it was because my mother was there, he was having second or third thoughts, or because of the phone call.

When we sat down on the couch to watch TV, Howie sat purposefully at the other end. So much for a romantic evening in front of the fire.

Finally my Mom excused herself, said good night, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and went to bed. As she left I turned to Howie, who was watching her go. He turned to look at me and gave me a nervous smile.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Uh...yeah," he said, but I knew there was a 'but' there somewhere.

"Okay," I said, waiting.

"Yeah, uh..." there was a long pause. "The thing is, I have to go home first before going to New York."

"Yeah?" That actually sounded kind of interesting, as I have never been to Maine.

"Yeah. Just take a day or so, but...it's nothing big, just a couple of things I have to take care of."

"Okay," I shrugged. "I don't mind."

Howie looked relieved; he almost looked surprised. "Yeah, well...uh you could still meet me..."

"Meet you?" I asked, confused. Meet him where?

"Yeah. In New York. You could catch the bus down."

I didn't really want to do the bus trip. That would be no fun. I'd rather just go to Maine. I was thinking it couldn't be that boring, and it would mean we'd get to spend more time together.

"Why don't I just come with you? I don't mind," I said brightly. I don't know if I was naive or blinded by love.

"Um...yeah, well...you'd be bored. Why don't you just take the bus. I'll pay," he offered.

"Pay? No you don't have to..." finally it was starting to dawn on me. He wasn't trying to give me an out from a boring trip; he actually didn't want me to go. "But why can't I come?" I asked.

"I don't think that would work," he said slowly.

"Why? You think they'll figure out I'm gay?"

"No! no!" His vociferous protest made me certain he did think so.

"Yeah?" I said doubtfully.

"I don't know. Maybe. No. I just...I can't do it right now. We've only just..." he paused.

"You know, I don't swish. Most people think I'm straight unless I tell them. I'm not gonna tell anyone."

"I know. I know. It's just...I'm sorry, but I can't, okay? I'm sorry," he looked miserable and I felt bad for even pressuring him to take me.

"But why is it okay to go to New York then?" I really didn't understand what he was thinking.

He looked confused. "No one knows me there!" he finally blurted out.

"Okay," I said. I was disappointed.

"You're mad."

"No," I lied.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm just...oh, forget it."

"What? You're just what?" he asked.

"Disappointed. But forget about it. It's okay." Inside I'd already started to adjust. In a way I wasn't even that surprised. Somehow I had a feeling I wouldn't go on that trip with Howie after all.

"I'm really sorry. I just..." and he just looked miserable and I couldn't even be mad at him.

"Yeah it's okay," I said, letting him off the hook. What was the point in forcing him to do something he clearly wasn't able to do?

"Well, I'm tired," I announced, changing the subject.

"Oh, uh, okay," said Howie. "Do you want me to sleep in the guest room?" he asked hesitantly.

I stared at Howie, but he wouldn't look into my eyes.

"Uh..." I didn't know what I was supposed to say.

"It's okay if you want me to," he said quietly.

The thing was, I didn't want him to.

"No," I finally said, standing up. "Come with me..." and I held out my hand, and Howie stood up and tentatively reached out, and I closed my hand around his and pulled him to me. As I wrapped my other arm around him I whispered into his ear. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" and I pulled him against me.

Howie looked into my eyes and smiled. Then he nodded, and I just heard a soft sound that could have been 'yes.' I leaned into him and put my lips on his and his mouth opened and I felt his tongue pushing into my mouth and I knew what the answer was.

----------------- to be continued