Snow Day

This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.

You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.

This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.

Copyright 2006 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.

Questions and commentary can be sent to: "JasonCalme@yahoo.com". My blog: http://jcalme.blogspot.com/

Snow Day - Chapter 8

We got to the concert late. And that took some work on my part. Sam was relentless. He wanted to get to that show, and I was starting to think it wasn't because he wanted to see the main act.

I was really hoping we'd miss Howie, and had dragged my heals as much as possible. I figured if we missed Howie - and since I hadn't brought the backstage pass - then everything would be okay.

As luck would have it, when we arrived I could hear Howie singing. Well, I thought, we could just hang out in the lobby of the theater until he's done. But Sam had other ideas, grabbing my arm and almost dragging me forwards.

The seats were in the second row. I felt so exposed as we walked all the way to the front and then excused ourselves past the knees of several people. Fortunately Howie wasn't looking at us, and we managed to find our way without causing too much commotion.

Howie finished the song and there was polite applause. Clearly only a few in the audience really knew who he was, but the crowd seemed interested. I'd noticed that he'd sung most of the song with his eyes closed, but he opened them when he finished and smiled nervously at the crowd. I don't even remember what song it was, but that's because of what happened next.

Howie paused, and then glanced in our direction, and I wondered whether he'd been looking for me. But he didn't seem to see me, and he looked down at his feet, and then did a double take and looked up again in my direction. He stared straight at me, and smiled a big smile and his eyebrows rose just a bit in recognition. And then he turned back to face the microphone. He seemed to take a second or two to gather himself, glanced in my direction one more time, grinned even wider, and then started into another song.

It was only as he started singing that I realized that I'd been staring at him too; there was a big goofy smile on my face. I wiped it off quickly and glanced over at Sam, who was glaring at me. He didn't look happy. I would of - I should of - felt guilty about this, but my annoyance with Sam for dragging me to the show was enough to carry me over that. And frankly, I didn't know what to say to Sam anyway, so I just ignored him and went back to watching Howie.

Unfortunately, that was the last song of Howie's set. After he finished he mumbled 'Thanks, you've been great, have a good night,' and started to walk off.

Okay that wasn't too bad, I thought. Now I just have to deal with Sam. But as Howie walked across the stage, he looked at me and mouthed something and pointed to the front of the theater. I had no idea what he was saying or trying to tell me, and he was gone before I could figure it out.

I sat there as the lights came up and the crowd bustled about in anticipation of another 15 minute wait for the main act. I glanced at Sam. He looked annoyed, but I just brushed that off and looked around the theater.

"So?" Sam asked.

"What?" I asked him.

"You going to talk to him?" he almost demanded.

I shrugged. I could play it cool. And besides, I'd decided that I wasn't going to talk to Howie. Sure, seeing him was great, and seeing him react to seeing me, well that was a thrill too. But that was it. I wasn't going to seek him out. That wasn't why I'd come. I'd come because of Sam. Because, well, Sam was pissing me off. He'd been pissing me off since the letter from Howie arrived.

"He said to go out the front," Sam said.

"What are you talking about?"

"He was telling you to meet him where they're selling CDs."

"He was?" I said, trying not to sound completely stupid, even though I clearly was.

"Come on," said Sam, standing up.

"What?"

"Let's go say 'Hi'"

"Huh?" I was trying to buy time, but Sam walked to the isle and stood waiting for me to follow.

I got up grudgingly, and out we went to the lobby and found the counter where they were selling CDs and t-shirts and things. There was no sign of Howie.

"You must have got it wrong," I said to Sam, hoping to get back to our seats before Howie turned up. Sam was clearly angry and I didn't think his mood would improve out here.

"He'll be out," Sam replied confidently.

I was worried that he was right. This was turning into a disaster, and the really frustrating part of it was that I had known it would, and had tried so hard to avoid it. I was pissed with both Sam and Howie for putting me in this situation.

I was nervous too. What if Howie did come out? What then?

"There he is," said Sam, and I turned around and sure enough, there was Howie making his way through the crowd. Howie came up to us and before I knew what was happening he had put his arms around me and hugged me. It was quick, and seemingly friendly, but it took my breath away.

"Hey," Howie whispered in my ear and I shivered.

"Hey," I replied, weakly.

He released me and stepped back, and we stood there staring at one another for a moment. Then I remembered Sam.

"Uh Howie, this is Sam," I said quickly.

"Sam?" said Howie, obviously confused, though he extended his hand and they shook quickly, both eyeing each other up and down.

"A friend," I added hastily, noting Sam frowning at me. "You were great," I said, trying to sound upbeat without gushing too much.

"We only heard the one song," Sam interjected, and I wanted to hit him.

"Well," Howie grinned. "You heard one, you heard them all, right?"

"Yeah well..." I wasn't sure what to say. "Thanks for the tickets."

"I'm glad you came," Howie said, and we stood there for a moment and I was staring into his eyes. "Look, I gotta go and try and sell some stuff. Can you hang around?"

"Uh..." I glanced at Sam, who was pretending to look completely disinterested. I turned back to Howie, who looked so hopeful. "Sure," I said.

"Great!" Howie grinned. "Nice meeting you Sam," said Howie quickly, and before Sam could respond Howie turned and went over to the counter where the CDs were being sold and started talking to a couple of girls that were waiting there.

Sam and I stood in place; looking around, avoiding catching each other's eye.

"You're gonna wait?" asked Sam. He still wasn't looking at me.

I thought about it for a moment. "Just to talk a bit," I said. Hell, it was his fucking idea.

"I'm going back to my seat," Sam said, looking now more perplexed than angry.

"Okay, I won't be long," I said, trying to sound casual. Was I supposed to say something else? Like 'don't worry,' or 'don't worry, I don't like him anymore?' But if I did that, wouldn't he just worry more?

Sam stood there for a moment, and I wasn't sure if he was going to make a big scene. I don't think he could decide either, but then he shrugged and walked off. I watched him walk away, wondering if I should go after him.

I didn't. I turned back and stood there watching Howie. I'd forgotten how good he looked. Every now and again he'd glance over at me and smile and I'd smile back and feel myself blush.

Howie signed a bunch of CDs. Several people came up and talked to him, and then the concert started and the lobby began to clear out. Howie glanced around to make sure that he was done, then came over to me.

"Come on," he said, taking me by the arm, and leading me towards a side door and out onto the street.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, but he just kept walking until we were next to a large bus.

"Here," he said, and I followed him inside the bus.

"This yours?" I asked.

"No," he grinned.

"You sure it's okay to be in here?"

"Yeah, sure, it's cool. Come on," and he led me through to the back where there was a small bedroom.

"Nice," I said, looking around. Really it was little more than a double bed in a small room with a dresser. If you were a refugee I could understand getting excited about it, but personally, I'd rather go back to my apartment.

"Yeah, some day I'm gonna have one like this," he said.

I laughed.

"What?" he looked puzzled.

"Nothing. It's funny. Most people would be like, I want a house, or a pool or a fancy car, and you want a bus."

Howie grinned. "Yeah, I guess. It's cool though."

"Yeah," I said, and couldn't help but notice we were staring into each other's eyes again. I looked away, and Howie advanced towards me and put his arms around me.

"No Howie," I whispered, but he leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, and I resisted for a moment and then I turned and his lips met mine, and though I didn't really kiss him back, I didn't push him away either.

It stopped as quickly as it started and Howie stood there, embracing me, and I sighed.

Howie stiffened and his arms released me.

I still didn't say anything and Howie stepped back, looking slightly dejected.

"So uh...that guy..." Howie began.

"Sam?"

"Yeah...Sam? Really? It's Sam?"

"Yeah, go figure," I smiled.

"So he's uh..."

"We've been dating," I said

"Oh," Howie frowned.

"But it's over," I said.

"Oh, what happened?"

"You did," I said staring back at him evenly. He looked puzzled.

"Me? What?"

"You. You and the tickets, and...oh Howie, this was just such a bad idea,"

"Wait, I didn't mean to break anything up," Howie said, frowning again.

"Then why'd you just kiss me?"

"Uh..."

"You knew Sam and I were together, didn't you?"

Howie looked down, like a naughty schoolboy that had been caught misbehaving. It was damn cute.

"No...well...when I saw him he was kinda..." He paused and looked me in the eyes and then sighed. "Okay, yeah I kinda figured..." he pouted. "Okay, and so maybe I was jealous and the kiss was...fuck, I'm sorry. Look, just go...forget this, k? Go back to Sam."

I stared at him and he stared back.

"You don't get it, do you?" I said.

"What?"

"It's not over because of the kiss," I groaned.

"It's not? But you said..."

"Oh, ignore me, I'm just mad at you. Sam and I weren't going to work out. You turning up just..well just forced an issue I hadn't planned on facing for a while."

I sat down on the bed. For a moment I idly wondered if Howie had had any expectations. I glanced around and started to think about leaving, just as Howie sat down beside me.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

I looked at him and nodded.

"I just wanted to see you," he continued. "I didn't even think about...well I asked your Mom if you were dating anyone and she said you weren't."

I sighed. "I hadn't told her about Sam."

"Oh."

We were both silent.

"So Sam, if you're breaking up with Sam because of me, how do you feel about me?" he asked quietly.

I was staring at the wall and I honestly didn't know what to say. I glanced over at him, but he was just staring straight ahead.

"Well uh...you know.."

"No," he said evenly, and slowly turned to face me.

"You were like a really serious crush and I guess I hoped it might turn into a relationship, but it never did."

Howie nodded slowly.

"So now?" he whispered.

"What do you mean now?"

"You still have feelings for me?"

"I still like you," I grinned.

"Just 'like' me?"

"Yeah Howie, I just like you."

Howie frowned again.

"Sam, I have thought about the things you said. About not seeing each other...and if I'd known you were seeing someone I never would have done anything...it was just your Mom said you weren't dating anyone and I guess I thought..." and he stumbled to a halt.

"What?"

"It's nothing. Forget about it."

"No. Come on. You thought what?"

"Forget it," he said, standing up. "You should go back and mend things with Sam."

I stood up. We stared into each other's eyes and then Howie looked away.

"Well, if that's what you think is best," I said.

"Yeah...it's best," he said, still not facing me.

I started towards the door, and then stopped and turned to look at him. Howie stared back at me, a curious expression on his face.

"If Sam asks if we did anything I'm gonna have to tell him we kissed."

"I'm sorry," he said, dejectedly. I stepped towards him.

"Well...might as well make it a worth while one, right?" and I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him towards me. I parted my lips and pushed my tongue forward and Howie's mouth opened and his tongue came out to meet mine.

God, he was so good to kiss. This was nothing like Sam. I'd always thought that kissing Sam never seemed quite so special, but I didn't know why. Part of my suspected that it was just my imagination playing tricks on me, and that losing Howie had made him seem so much better. But no, this was real. Howie meant much more to me than Sam.

We made out. For a lot longer than I intended. I tried to stop a couple of times. I pulled away, but I just had to have more, and Howie was in no hurry to go anywhere. What was I supposed to do? But then I realized that my boxers were getting really very wet and uncomfortable, and I knew that either I had to get naked with Howie or I had to get out of there. And getting naked, as exciting as it seemed, just was a bad idea.

This whole evening was a collection of bad ideas.

I finally had to pull away from him.

We stood there for a moment, catching our breath and trying to calm down. I looked at Howie and he looked so good. But I had to get away from him. I backed away and walked to the front of the bus.

"So how long are you here for?" I asked conversationally, trying to calm things down before leaving the bus.

"Dunno," he shrugged.

I was trying to find a way to say good-bye.

"Where's the next show?" I asked.

"This is the last one I'm opening for."

"Oh. So you're going home then?"

"Probably," he shrugged.

"Where you staying tonight?"

"Uh..." Howie looked evasive. "I'll probably crash somewhere..."

I stared at him and he looked away nervously, and a thought occurred to me.

"So you were thinking you were gonna stay with me huh?"

"No..." Howie denied, then he kind of grinned bashfully.

"Howie..."

"It's cool...I'll find somewhere to crash."

"Howie, what were you thinking?" I asked in exasperation.

"Uh...I'm...I told you...I didn't know you were with someone," he almost whined.

"Yeah, and even though I told you not to...you like show up and think you're gonna sleep over and everything's gonna just be...?"

Howie stood there staring at me, seeming not to know what to say.

"I can't believe you," I shook my head and turned to go, but Howie grabbed me. He held me by the arms, but he didn't say anything. He just stood there staring at me.

"What?" I asked. He looked sad and frustrated, his eyes almost watering. He looked away for a moment and then turned back and opened his mouth and nothing came out.

I wanted so much to just go, but I waited.

"So what do you think?" he finally asked. "You think I just stopped in to get laid?"

I stood there staring at him, and he looked so hurt.

"Fuck yeah, you're right," he went on angrily. "I'm just a fucking shit looking to get laid and this," he paused in exasperation. "Is all just a waste of fucking time." He glared at me for a moment and then he turned and stared at something on the wall.

I reached out and touched him gently just behind the ear but he pulled away, trying to ignore me.

"Howie, I...I know you didn't just want to get laid."

Howie turned back to face me, but he didn't look convinced.

"Anyway, I know you can get laid anytime you want."

He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, look, why don't you stay over..."

Howie stared at me evenly.

"You don't have to," he began.

"I want you to," I replied.

"Nah," Howie shook his head. "You should go and find your Sam."

We stood there for a moment.

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. Don't worry about me. I'll find a groupie and get some," and he made a stupid face and I slapped him on the shoulder.

"Well, I better..." and I kind of nodded my head at the door and Howie nodded in return.

"I'll see yah Howie."

I went to hug him but then stopped as Howie flinched. There was another awkward moment before I gathered up my strength and turned and walked out the door of the bus, straight into the throngs of people leaving the concert. Fuck! It was already over? Had we been talking that long?

I think I was on auto-pilot at that point. I hadn't really digested what had happened and what it meant. It was time to go home. I just wanted to go home and lie down and try and think things through. But I had to find Sam first.

Damn. Sam. Where was he?

I didn't have to go far. I found him in the lobby, looking pissed.

"Hey," I said,

"Back huh?"

"Yeah I...sorry, time got away from me..." I tried to look sorry, even if I was mad with him too.

"Uh huh."

"I'm sorry Sam." And I was, but he caused this to happen as much as anyone.

"Yeah. I know, time gets away from you when you're..." and he stopped, but I felt the word that was going to follow was 'fucking.'

"Sam, I..."

"Don't. Don't. Don't even bother. Sam...it's over," and he started to walk away.

"Sam, wait!" I called out.

Sam looked over his shoulder. "Forget it," he said, and kept on walking, and I just watched him go and felt...numb.

"You okay?"

I turned, and there was Howie.

"Oh, hey. You following me now?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said.

"Well, I seem to have lost a boyfriend."

"I'm sorry Sam."

"It's not your fault Howie." I was trying to be rational. Maybe I was being fatalistic. But I'd known it was over with Sam. I guess I just thought it would drag out a bit longer. In a way, maybe I was getting off easy.

Maybe too easy.

We just stood there staring at each other.

"Can I get you a cab or something?" Howie asked.

"Huh? My knight in shining armor now?"

Howie grinned and shrugged. "Well, shining pickup truck."

"And I thought it was you that needed rescuing tonight?"

Howie looked thoughtful.

"I can give you a ride if you like," Howie offered.

I shook my head, "You're really out to confuse me, aren't you?"

He smiled, one of his smiles that seemed to pierce my heart.

"No, just want to get you home safely," he said.

"Uh huh, sure," I grinned.

Howie just stood there. If he'd pushed I would have run away, but his willingness to wait - his caring - was wearing me down.

"Okay," I said.

Howie looked surprised. "Okay," he said, grinning nervously. "I gotta get my stuff first."

"Sure."

After a second Howie made a cute little gesture with his hands as though we were about to march in a parade, and I followed him over to the merch table. Howie stacked the CDs back into a box, and collected the money from one of the girls that had been selling them. She chatted with him animatedly, and he gave her a CD, a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, and she seemed happy.

I walked - not too closely - with him backstage to the room where his guitars and bags were stashed. Howie said he had to take care of a couple of things and I said I'd wait. I sat in that little room trying to get a handle on things - and on my feelings for Howie - while he was off doing whatever he had to do.

I didn't get very far. About two minutes had passed when my cell phone rang.

It was Sam.

"Hello?" I answered tentatively.

"My keys are at your apartment," came Sam's voice. No greeting, nothing.

"Oh," I said.

"Are you going back there?" he asked accusingly.

"Yeah, we're gonna...I'm gonna be back there in a bit. You need them tonight?"

"Yeah." Came the curt response.

"Well, I can call you when I get there." I said.

"I'll be there," he replied simply, and hung up.

Shit!

Howie came back. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Okay," said Howie, not appearing convinced.

We gathered up his stuff and went out and found his car. It didn't take too long to pack the gear in the back of the Explorer, hop in, and then Howie started up the car and off we went.

I was lost in thought much of the time, trying to figure out what to do. Howie kept glancing at me. I could sense it, but I couldn't bring myself to face him or to talk to him. Other than my giving him directions, we hardly said two words the first half of the trip.

"So you know where you're gonna sleep tonight?" I finally asked him.

"No," he said, not looking at me, just watching where he was driving.

I sighed.

"I'll find somewhere though. Don't worry about me," he said defensively.

"You can stay at my place," I offered.

"You don't have to Sam. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to screw things up for you...and honestly, I know lots of people here, it's no big deal."

"I know. It's no problem. Stay, what the hell."

There was a long silence.

"Okay," he said softly, grinning.

It took a while to get to the apartment, but when we got there we were lucky enough to find a parking space just a half block away, which isn't too bad.

"I have to get you a parking permit," I said to Howie.

"Okay,"

"Uh, you stay here and I'll bring it back."

Howie looked at me questioningly.

"Uh, Sam's there. He has to get his keys and I really don't want a scene, so can you just stay here?"

"Uhh..."

"Please, Howie."

"Yeah, okay," Howie nodded.

"Thanks Howie."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you're sorry. You don't have to keep saying it."

"Sorry," he said, then rolled his eyes.

I reached out and rubbed the top of his head and he grinned.

"I won't be long."

I got out of the car and walked slowly up the street. I saw Sam sitting on the front steps.

"Hey," I said quietly, coming up to stand in front of him.

"Yeah," said Sam, standing up.

We stood there looking at each other, not sure what to say.

"Well, I'll get your keys," I said.

"Okay."

"Is there anything else?" I asked.

"I don't think so."

"Well, if there is I can...you can always get it."

I unlocked the door and went inside. Sam didn't follow me in. He stayed outside on the sidewalk. I looked around and grabbed up the keys and a CD that I knew was his. I was in a hurry and didn't want to drag this out too long, but I couldn't see anything else, so I hurried out, where I found him still standing by the front step. He was glancing down the street. I walked down to him and turned and saw that Sam had been looking where Howie was standing by his car.

Sam looked back at me. I thought he'd be mad, but he just looked resigned.

I held out the keys and the CD to Sam and he took them.

"I'm really sorry Sam," I said, and he just nodded.

"Yeah," he said, glancing back down at Howie. "You got him well trained," he paused, then sucked in a breath. "God, he's like a puppy."

"Sam," I sighed, "I know you're hurt. I'm sorry, I honestly didn't..."

"Whatever," he dismissed me, and turned and started to walk away, and it ticked me off.

"Fuck you!" I yelled and he stopped and turned to face me. "I'm fucking pissed at the both of you, you just...I told you all about Howie...told you I didn't want to go, and you practically dragged me." I was pissed and now I was just venting. Not even really thinking what I was saying. "Well you wanted to know if I was over Howie and you fucking got your answer, and you want to know what the fucking kicker is? I don't even get him, okay? He's just passing through so I don't have you and I don't get him."

Sam stared at me. Then quietly he said. "Yeah, but if you had a choice... you'd chose him, wouldn't you."

"It's a competition? Is that it? Fuck! That's not the way life works."

"You're a fucking romantic and you know it."

"I thought you said you didn't want to get serious? I was the one going 'Are we boyfriends' and you're like 'let's not put a label on it.' And now I get this?! Fuck okay, so I still love Howie, okay? Is that what you want me to say? I'm so fucked up that a year later I'm still in love with a guy I can't have. Okay? Happy? Cause I'm not!" and I turned in frustration and there was Howie standing ten feet away.

"Shit," I breathed.

Howie just pursed his lips.

I turned back to Sam.

Sam grinned and I got madder at him.

"Fuck!" I hissed.

"You know what," Sam said. "I'm out of this soap opera. Let me know how it turns out," and he turned and walked away.

I hated him so much at that moment. I hated him for being right. I hated him because I couldn't love him enough. I hated him because he hadn't been Howie, couldn't be Howie.

I turned back to Howie. "Here's you fucking permit," I snapped at him, holding out the pass. I was still mad, but just seeing Howie's confused and worried expression made the anger slip away.

"Sorry," I said.

He just stood there.

"Maybe I should...should find another place to crash," he said quietly.

"Fuck that," I said. "Let's get your stuff," and I started to walk towards his car, but Howie grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around.

I stood staring at him.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"I know Howie. You won't."

"Sam."

"I've got my eyes wide open. Let's get your stuff."

"Sam...I..."

"Howie, I know, okay? We're just friends, it's cool."

"Sam!"

"What?" I snapped.

"I was standing right here."

"I know," I said, embarrassed.

"I heard what you said."

"I know. Don't let it go to your head. I was just mad."

"But I asked you before and you said..." and he paused, "and now," he went on, "you said..." seemingly unable to finish a sentence. I finally realized that he had just as little idea what to do as I did, and I loved him even more.

"Howie," I cut him off. I wanted to tell him to shut up. He wasn't making it any easier.

"Sam, I don't want you getting hurt."

"Then why'd you send me those fucking tickets?!" I hissed, and I looked at him and he looked hurt and his eyes were watering.

"I'm sorry Sam," he whispered.

I stared at him.

"I don't know, okay?" he began. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't why I..."

I stepped up to him and put my arms around him.

"And I don't know why I do what I do either," I whispered. "But we can't do this in the street. Come on, let's get your stuff."

We stood there for a moment and I wondered if he was going to run. Hell, I wouldn't have been surprised. He hadn't been expecting all this, and God know's it was the last thing I wanted. Even in any of my wildest fantasies of getting Howie back, none of them had been like this nightmare.

Howie took a small step back and I waited for the worst.

"Yeah, well..." he began, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. He made a small coughing noise and then he grinned, "I could really go for a drink right now," he said.

"Yeah," I smiled at him. "Me too. We get your stuff?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he said, and then he gave me a quick hug before releasing me.

A little subdued, we walked down to his car, grabbed the bags and guitars, and then went back to the apartment.

----------------- to be continued