Some You Give Away, Part 7

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction. Any similarities between the characters in this story and real people (appearances, names, etc.) are purely coincidental. This story may contain homosexual material, including love and sex, so if material like this is illegal in your region or if it discomforts you, please leave.

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Some You Give Away

Part VII

21 October 2017
New York, New York, United States of America

The second Warren sat down beside Alejo Rojas, the Latino said, "Yo. Sigma Chi party tonight. Hey, y'okay, man?"

Despondent, Warren answered, "Aaron and I broke up last night."

"Shit, man," Alejo said apologetically. "Sorry to hear."

Karianne Lansing asked from the other side of Alejo, "What? Why? What happened?"

"He's moving to Portland in a couple weeks," Warren replied softly. "He was offered a job. I'm happy that he scored a better paying job, you know. He was struggling here. I just wish we weren't so broke, otherwise we'd be able to do the long distance thing."

Sympathetic, Alejo clapped his hand to the back of Warren's neck and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Good morning," Prof. Ericson said from the front. "So this past Tuesday, your midterm scores were posted to your student profiles. Yesterday, I got your exams back from Director Lorrien, so you can see exactly what you excelled at, and what you need to work on. Find your exam and pass it on.
"Today, we move on. Can Kendra Guillermo, Richard McNally, and Warren Altier please stand?"

Confused, Warren stood, as did the other 2 students. His eyes swept over the rest of the student body, who were all staring at him and Kendra and Richard.

Prof. Ericson told the class, "Let's give these 3 a round of applause. Without prompt, these 3 have done the online assignments for chapters 8, 9, and 10 well in advance and passed them spectacularly."

Warren was immensely embarrassed, and his face heated uncomfortably when the classroom began to clap.

Prof. Ericson continued, "You continue this way, I'll be able to test you out of Accounting 101 by mid-November. The rest of you, most passed the midterms rather well."

When Warren sat back down, Alejo leaned over and whispered, "Nerd."

Meanwhile in Christian's H.R. class, he typed notes on his laptop as Prof.. Dillon Andross lectured. The professor spoke about important business decisions, executing action, and justifying brash action.

"Now here's some fun for you sorry losers," Prof. Andross said with humour. "I want you all to write a 3 page report on a human resource case from a company of your choosing. Single-lined, double-spaced, and in a red clear-front report cover. Anything less will not be accepted. I want company names, but no owners' names, no supervisor's names, and not the names of those reprimanded. Reports are due Monday morning at 9:00. Not 9:01. Not 9:02. 9:00. That's it. Thank you. Have a wonderful day, or something along those lines."

Warren stood in line at his favourite cafe, and scrolled through his Instagram feed. The line wasn't that long.

"Good day," the young male cashier said. "Wesley, if I remember correctly. Welcome to Le Guerison. What can I get for you?"

Still feeling terrible about the breakup, Warren said, "It's Warren, actually. Can I please have a large soy caramel latte?"

"I apologize for the name mixup," he cashier responded while tapping away at the iPad cash register. "That'll be $4.82, please."

After paying, Warren made his way to the cafe's handoff station. While looking around for a table to sit at, he saw the familiar cream and blue colours of Christian's letterman jacket.

With his coffee in hand and approaching the table, Warren said, "Bonjour, mon ami."
(Good afternoon, my friend."

Christian looked up from his laptop, and greeted back, "Bonjour. Tu n'as pas l'air bien different de la nuit derniere. Es-tu alle en cours aujourd'hui?"
(Hello. You don't look much different from last night. Did you go to school today?)

Unamused, Warren replied, "Mon petit ami a rompu avec moi il y a 18 heures. Je suis autorise a bouder. Mais je ne laisserai pas souffrir mon education quoi qu'il arrive."
(My boyfriend broke up with me 18 hours ago. I am allowed to sulk. But I will not let my education suffer no matter what.)

"Mm," Christian nodded. "Vous etes intelligent, Quicksilver."
(You are smart, Quicksilver.)

"Comment allez-vous, Chris? Vous semblez bien se porter malgre la fin de la relation avec Misha."
(How are you, Chris? You seem to be doing fine despite ending the relationship with Misha.)

Christian shrugged and replied, "J'ai rompu avec elle pour elle."
(I broke up with her for her.)

Confused but being considerate, Warren told the brunette, "Je suis la si tu veux en parler."
(I'm here if you want to talk about it.)

Adorning a remorseful smile, Christian said, "Je suis homosexuel. Mais je ne veux pas etre."
(I'm homosexual. But I don't want to be.)

Warren was taken aback. He was more surprised then than he was when his friend Jacob suddenly kissed him.

Warren's mind was still reeling when he said, "Que... Que... Est-ce a cause de votre religion? Que vous ne voulez pas etre homosexuel, je veux dire."
(That... That... Is it because of your religion? That you don't want to be homosexual, I mean.)

Tears began to form in Christian's brown eyes before he answered, "Je ne me soucie pas des modes de vie des autres. Okay? Je ne juge pas. Mais je ne veux pas souffrir en enfer pour toute l'eternite."
(I don't care about the lifestyles of others. Okay? I don't judge. But I don't want to suffer in hell for all of eternity.)

Warren grabbed Christian's hand in nothing but sympathy, and told him, "Un homme aussi doux et aussi amical que vous ne pourriez jamais aller en enfer."
(A man as gentle and as friendly as you could never go to hell.)

"J'ai trouve un pretre," Christian told the blonde, gently disconnecting their hands. "Il m'aidera a prier."
(I found a priest. He will help me pray.)

"Oh, Christian," Warren sighed, visibly saddened. "Je ne vais pas forcer mes croyances sur vous, mais j'aimerais que vous voyiez un autre type de professionnel."
(I will not force my beliefs on you, but I wish you would see another type of professional.)

Christian smiled in understanding and said, "Merci de vous en souciez. Je t'aime."
(Thank you for caring. I love you.)

"Je t'aime aussi," Warren responded with a soft smile. "Sur quoi travailles-tu?"
(I love you too. What are you working on?)

"C'est un devoirs pour ma classe de ressources humaines," Christian answered, presenting his laptop to the blonde. "Nous devons trouver une veritable action de ressources humaines et rediger un rapport."
(This is homework for my human resources class. We have to find a real human resources action and write a report.)

"Vous avez choisi de faire un reportage sur Le Guerison?" Warren asked with surprise. "Le directeur n'avait pas de probleme avec ca?"
(You've chosen to do the report on Le Guerison? The manager had no problem with that?)

"Voyez-vous la rousse?" Christian asked, pointing to the barista who was busy making drinks. "Il est le proprietaire. Il savait que j'etais un etudiant et etait plus que dispose a m'aider dans cette tache."
(See that redhead? He is the owner. He knew that I was a student and was more than willing to help me with this task.)

Turning Christian's laptop back toward him, Warren asked, "Sors-tu ce soir?"
(Are you going out tonight?)

"Non," Christian answered, typing. "Je vais faire mes devoirs. Je veux passer une nuit tranquille a moi-meme."
(No. I'm going to do my homework. I want to spend a quiet night to myself.)

"Mm," Warren nodded while removing his own laptop. "Je ne veux pas sortir non plus."
(I don't want to go out either.)

Christian then asked, "Quels sont vos projets alors?"
(What are your plans then?)

"Devoirs," Warren answered with a shrug. "Je rencontre Vivian pour le diner a 6 heures. Vous pouvez vous joindre si vous le souhaitez..."
(Homework. I'm meeting Vivian for dinner at 6 o'clock. You can join if you wish.)

Christian shrugged again before he replied, "Nous verrons si je me sens a la hauteur."
(We'll see if I'm feeling up to it.)

Just then, the redhead who was apparently the owner of the cafe walked up to the table. Warren and Christian offered the redhead kind and expectant smiles.

"Je t'ai entendu a travers les cameras de securite," the redhead began, his smile growing. "Je suis Sebastian Fitzroy, proprietaire de Le Guerison. J'aime entendre les autres parler des langues que je parle moi-meme."
(I heard you through the security cameras. I am Sebastian Fitzroy, owner of Le Guerison. I like to hear others speak languages that I speak myself.)

Warren nodded, his smile genuinely intrigued, and said, "C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer. Je m'appelle Warren Altier."
(It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Warren Altier.)

"Chris Hawkings," Christian said as he shook the redhead's hand..

"Je te laisserai a tes etudes," Sebastian said. "Voici une carte-cadeau de 15 dollars pour le beau couple que je donne a tous ceux qui parlent francais, allemand et chinois."
(I will leave you to your studies. Here is a $15.00 gift card for the beautiful couple that I give to all those who speak French, German and Chinese..)

Christian was instantly flustered, but Warren giggled before he said, "Chris et moi sommes amis."
(Chris and I are friends.)

Sebastian smiled tight-lipped and responded, "Pardon. Je n'aurais pas du supposer. Bonne journee, messieurs "
(Sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. Have a wonderful day, gentlemen.)

After watching the redhead walk away, Warren said, "C'etait gentil de sa part. Il est tellement sexy aussi."
(That was nice of him. He's so sexy, too.)

Christian looked back at Sebastian who was walking into the back, and said, "Il est grand mais il a l'air d'avoir 16 ans ou quelque chose comme ca."
(He's tall but he looks like he's 16 or something like that.)

"Il a de bons genes," Warren replied, opening his accounting textbook. "Il a au moins 18 ans pour posseder une entreprise."
(He has good genes. He's at least 18-years-old to own a business.)

"Il a aussi un petit ami," Christian told the blonde with a chuckle.
(He also has a boyfriend.)

"Je ne suis pas vraiment interesse par lui," Warren replied with a shrug. "Juste apprecier la vue."
(I'm not really interested in him. Just appreciating the view.)

Warren felt the urge to tease Christian about the redhead's handsome looks, because he always teased his straight friends like that. He did not though, because he understood Christian's conflict.

So the two young men continued on their homework in relative silence. Warren did not notice the subtle glances that Christian threw his way by moving only his eyes.

Warren and Christian also bought coffee refills using the gift card, and used all its funds. This was the reason that Le Guerison was their favourite cafe; the coffee was astonishing!

At 5:43pm, Warren said, "I'm going to go pick up Vivian if you want to come."

Christian smiled at the blonde and responded, "Nah, I'm good. I'm almost done here, and then I'm going to go to church. I'm- I'm sort of hating myself right now. I just feel like praying."

Warren, concerned, touched his palm to Christian's face and told him, "I love you no matter what."

Christian gently pried Warren's hand from his cheek and kissed it in reply. Warren then picked up his bag, bid his friend a good night, and strutted off in his 6-inch green wedges.

23 October 2017
New York, New York, United States of America

Having spent most of Saturday hiding in his room trying to do homework- operative word being 'trying'- with 3 hours in the fitness facility weight lifting and swimming, Christian slept very little that night. He was struggling so very hard coming to terms with his sexuality.

Christian woke at 8:21am, according to his phone, having slept just 3 hours. Feeling angry, and sad, Christian grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste out of his shower kit and made his way to the bathroom. Being a Sunday morning, the floor was basically dead, with only 1 other guy awake and sitting in a toilet stall.

Back in his room, Christian dressed in a pair of brown chinos, a baby blue dress shirt, and a red neck tie with black striped. Despondent, he drove to Saint Thomas Church.

"Morning," a middle-aged man said kindly while he and his wife and 2 teen girls sat beside Christian.

Christian offered the best smile he could in response while pulling his legs in to make room for the family to file in.

"Morning," Warren's voice said, suddenly taking a seat right at the edge of the pew, which was right beside Christian.

"Que fais-tu ici?" Christian asked, not unkindly, just surprised.
(What are you doing here?)

Warren smiled at the brunette and answered, "Je t'ai vu entrer dans l'ascenseur. Sachant que vous etes religieux, je suis venu pour vous. Vous avez besoin d'amis qui vous soutiendront."
(I saw enter the elevator. Knowing that you are religious, I've come for you. You need friends who will support you.)

Unable to fight the tears, Christian smiled at the blonde. He then grabbed Warren's hand in a friendly manner, their palms downward.

"Greetings to you all, fellow worshippers," Fr. Olafsson said brightly. "How are you doing on this fine Sunday morning?"

"Good."
"Good."
"Fine."
"Good."
"Great."

Christian saw Warren lift his right leg and sit his knee over the left knee. He also saw the black stiletto adorning Warren's foot.

"Tu portes des talons hauts à l'église?" Christian whispered, amused.
(Do you wear high heels in church?)

Warren shrugged and replied in a whisper, "Oui. Il est ton Dieu. D'ailleurs, si je croyais en Dieu, je penserais qu'il nous aime tous comme nous sommes."
(Yes. He is your God. Besides, if I believed in God, I would think that he loves us all as we are.)

"Okay," Christian whispered blandly.

"Sur une autre note, je suis sur que je marcherais vers Dieu et il n'aurait pas le pouvoir de me resister."
(On another note, I am sure I could walk up to God and he would not have the power to resist me.)

A sudden burst of laughter erupted from Christian that came out in splutters through his squeezed-shut lips. He raised his hand to cover his mouth and bent forward, convulsing in poorly contained laughter.

Later that mid afternoon, Christian typed a phone number in his cell. But he did not make the call. He just stared at the number, and his stomach was doing flips in his anxiety.

• Tyson Herschel:
  • 'Stoner thought... If I punch myself really hard and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?'

Christian laughed at the old, overused, but ever-hilarious joke.

• Chris Hawkings:
  • 'It only means you're a fool'

Christian then opened his phone application back up and hit the 'Call' button before he could lose his courage. As the call was being made, Christian stared at the phone screen frozen.

Christian laid there, he was so scared that he didn't hear the automated voice saying the lines were busy. He didn't hear a lady on the other end of the line greet him.

"Hellooo," the lady's voice said, concerned.

Christian smashed the phone to the side of his face and said, "Uhh- hi. Hello. Hi."

The lady warmly said, "Thanks for calling the L.G.B.T. Hotline. My name is Cora. May I ask your name? If it makes you feel comfortable, you can make up a name."

"I- uhh..." Christian stuttered. "Yeah. I- yeah. My name is- is Chris."

"It is wonderful meeting you, Chris. Your phone number comes from New York but you have a southern accent. Are you in university?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm- I'm studying business."

"That's awesome! What year are you in?"

"Freshman. It's- this is my first year."

"Well I hope you're enjoying The Big Apple. How can I help you today, Chris?"

"Well, I called because... because... Oh my god, I'm so nervous."

"I promise that it's okay, Chris. Take your time. I'll stay on the phone with you for as long as you like."

"But the website says that you guys close in 20 minutes."

"We do. But I don't mind staying longer. My daughter usually is ready for a feeding, a change, and a nap when I when I get home, so today my husband can take care of that. I went through 7 hours of labour and pushed for 70 minutes, so I think I've deserved a day off."

"I'd say so," Christian said with a nervous laugh. "I- umm.... I decided to call this hotline because I'm- I'm- fuck. Why is it so hard to say it?"

"Take your time. You don't even have to say it today. Whether you're straight, gay, bi, asexual, non-binary, or anything else on the sexuality spectrum, accepting yourself is a very big step in life. It is not something to be rushed. The fact that you made this call today is a tremendous accomplishment, Chris."

"Doesn't feel that way," Christian responded with a slight sniffle. "I already told a friend of mine."

"Oh, you did? How did that feel?"

"It was tough, man. Scary. But much easier than it is today."

"That's interesting, isn't it? Why do you think it was easier to tell this friend?"

"I dunno. I guess... because he's openly gay so I knew he wouldn't judge me."

"How did this friend react?"

"He told me that he'd love me no matter what."

"I think you have an amazing friend in him, Chris. Do you see yourself coming out to your other friends? Or your family?"

"No," Christian as we're quickly. "I- I can't be gay."

"Why do you think you can't be gay?"

"Because I want to spend eternity in heaven with my family. I want to walk through the pearly gates and be greeted by my parents. I don't want to burn in hell."

"Okay. Tell me, Chris, do you think that this openly gay friend of yours will suffer in hell when he passes?"

"No, of course not. He's the kindest man you will ever meet."

"Even though I've been talking with you for all of 4 minutes, I can tell that you're a nice guy. So why do you think that you're going to hell for being anything but heterosexual and your friend won't?"

"He's- he's not religious."

"His beliefs don't matter, though, do they?"

"No. They don't."

"Well, Chris, it is clear to me that you're suffering from standards you set on yourself that you don't set on anyone else. Which is not uncommon for persons of religion. Have you spoken with a church leader?"

"Yes. Fr. Olafsson said that he'd help me pray. I thought he meant that he'd help me pray the gay away. He's praying for God to help me accept myself."

"Sounds like a reasonable and smart man. How do you think your family would react if you came out to them?"

"I dunno. I come from a deeply religious family. I can't picture myself coming out to them. I can only imagine bringing home a girl to introduce to my family."

"Well, Chris, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but I would highly suggest not forcing yourself in a hetero-normative relationship to satisfy others. It can be highly scarring on your mind."

With tears falling from his eyes, Christian asked, "Then what would you suggest I do?"

"That is ultimately your decision. It sounds like you've got great moral support from friends, excellent spiritual support in Fr. Olafsson. I would suggest seeking professional psychological support. I have no idea what you're going through because I am a heterosexual woman, but you've heard the stories of queer people committing suicide because of a variety of reasons. Most universities have certified professionals on staff."

"I'll- uhh... I'll look into that. Thank you for talking with me. It helped me so much."

"It was my pleasure, Chris. One more thing. Take your time. There is no schedule or limit on when to accept yourself. It could be tomorrow. Or next Friday. Or Easter Sunday. Don't rush yourself. Don't push yourself. Listen to only yourself regarding your emotions and well-being. You know you better than anyone else."

After hanging up with the hotline, Christian laid in bed yet some more. But he was feeling better. He couldn't describe it, other than better.

Hungry due to his inability to eat much that day, Christian decided that he had a mad craving for pho. So he took the elevator down. In the main lobby, a guy was struggling with his backpack as the left strap was fraying. Just as the guy hiked his backpack up, the strap busted. The bag fell to the floor and all his textbooks slid about.

"Here, let me help," Christian said kindly, bending down and helping the black-haired guy pick up the books.

"Thanks," the guy said quietly.

"Yeah, no worries, man."

"The strap only started fraying yesterday," the guy said with annoyance. "For a $200 bag, it's fucking shit. I..."

When the guy stopped speaking, Christian looked up from grabbing papers. The guy's brown eyes were gazing at him. Christian thought he was pretty, and obviously gay as told by his flawless foundation, sharp contouring, pretty blush, and red and purple eyeshadow.

The guy, slightly distracted by Christian's handsome face, carried on, "I should've- gotten a new bag yesterday. Or something. Right?"

Also enamoured by the guy's beauty, Christian responded, "Right. I guess. I- umm- I'm going out for pho. Wanna- wanna join me?"

"Sure," the guy eagerly said. "I'm Mike."

"Chris."

"Just let me bring my bag upstairs?"

"I'll wait here."

While waiting, Christian's heart raced. His palms became clammy with cold sweat. His arms and legs felt jittery with nervousness and fear.

'God will smite me,' Christian thought to himself as he shook his arms.

"You ready?" Mike asked, approaching Christian.

While driving his Ford F-150, Christian asked, "So where are you from?"

"I am from Cedar City, Utah," Mike replied with a warm smile. "You from Louisiana?"

Amused, but still anxious, Christian responded, "Columbus, Mississippi, actually. Points for a great guess, though."

"I had a couple clues," Mike said with humour. "Your drawl and the fact that you drive a truck."

Doing his best to put his anxiety at ease, Christian said, "This ain't no truck. This is my bestest friend. I love her more than I love my mom."

Mike sort of forced his laugh before he said, "You seem nervous. Everything alright?"

Christian tightened his grip on his steering wheel and answered, "This is- this is my first date--"

"--Ever?"

"N-no. Wi- with a guy."

"Oh," Mike said quietly. "Oh. You're bi."

"Mm-mm," Christian hummed with a shake of his head. "Gay. I'm gay. That- that was my second time saying it in my 17 years of life."

"You're 17!" Mike practically shouted.

"Yeah, but I'll be 18 in 2 weeks. You're 18, right?"

"I'm actually 19," Mike answered, thinking. "We can't do anything but kiss until you're 18."

"Let's see how dinner goes," Christian suggested. "Just yesterday I was praying the gay away. I kindly ask for a little bit of patience."

To Be Continued...

Thank you for checking out this series. If you are enjoying it, feel free to check out my other works.

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/near-wild-heaven.html

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/relationships/somewhere-a-clock-is-ticking.html

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/the-other-half-of-me-unknown/

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/you-dont-mean-to-hurt-me.html

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/you-call-it-madness/

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/connected/

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/do-not-go-gentle.html

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/a-quick-fall/

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/tearing-me-apart/

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