Jason's Dialogue
The big day had arrived. The talent showcase had been looming over my head all week and now the day had arrived. The week had been uneventful since Monday. The only interesting thing that had happened was Alice turning up at my house on Wednesday because she'd dropped her camera when she came round the day I left the hospital. It was only a brief visit and it ended with a hug. I'd seen her quite a lot that week and we'd started forming a friendship. Jack had left my house Friday night once his house had been fixed up and the night terrors filled with screams and fire returned without him there to hold me.
"So you've got all you're pitching perfect?" My mum asked as we drove to the school.
"I bloody hope so." I said. We upped the amount of rehearsal after the Monday session. All the tweaks had been made to tracks and dance routines. Luckily today was an 'on day' where my voice was in its prime. The only song that I was a little bit shaky with after all the preparation was 'Who You Are". The pressure would be on as it was the last performance of the night, and to add to the pressure, the big note after the third verse had been put back in because Miss Grange had thought that the song was missing a bit of 'oomph'. I'd pulled it off the first few times I'd rehearsed, but the last couple of times my voice cracked mid-note.
I was dressed in a slim, sharp black suit with a white shirt and black tie. My hair had been cut; it was now very short on the back and sides and the top had been trimmed and swept slightly to one side, it still covered a majority of my forehead.
"Remember, when the nerves kick in, deep breaths." My mum said to me. The nerves had been kicking in ever since I woke up this morning.
"Well that's going to be no help when the nerves kick in mid-song." I said matter-of-factly. She smiled at me and before I realised it we were pulling into the school car park. Directly in front of us was the main building, a light was fixed against the bare wall casting bright light over the line of cars that had already been parked there. It hit me that most, if not all, these cars were owned by people that would be watching me, listening to me sing. I opened the passenger side door quickly and forcefully and it collided with something.
"Shit." I cursed and quickly jumped out of the car to see what it was that I had struck. On the floor was a boy I didn't recognise, rubbing his head and trying to pick himself up. He had black sweeping hair and a boyishly handsome face. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I said as I bent down to help him up. I took him by the upper arms to lift him and was surprised to feel the strength in them, he had looked skinny.
"Don't worry about it; I shouldn't have been tying my shoelace next to a car door to be fair." He said. His voice was mild and calm, the humour in it was friendly. When he looked up at me I was amazed by his looks. His eyes almost matched his hair and I got the impression that I was staring into him, and not just his eyes. His lips were thin and curved into a friendly smile.
"Are you okay?" He asked. I quickly snapped out of the daze.
"Yeah. Sorry, You're okay right?" I asked quickly.
"Oh I'm fine, I'm more worried about you. You look like you've seen a ghost." He said with a little chuckle.
"It's just nerves I guess. I'm dreading this." I said, looking away.
"Oh. You're performing? You're not Jason are you?" He said it as if he already knew who I was.
"Yeah. How'd you guess?" Suspicion rising.
"I came here with my little sister. She's a year 10 and she fancies you big time." He looked away for a second before returning to the eye contact. "She's been talking about your singing all week; apparently we're all in for a treat."
If he thought this would help my nerves, he was wrong. Knowing that people were expecting amazing things from me made my nerves double.
"Jason, we need to make a move." My mum said. I'd forgotten she was there and I felt myself flush. I nodded at her before turning back to the mystery guy.
"Well I guess I'd better make a move," I said "You're head's okay right?"
"Yeah, I'm all good. Break a leg." He winked in a friendly way and patted me on the shoulder. He walked off and I watched him disappear into the school.
"Now, now Jason. No eyeing up other lads. Jack won't be too pleased." My mum chuckled. I wasn't exactly checking him out, but I was intrigued by him. I didn't even know his name.
-Jack's Dialogue-
The explosion of confetti made the crowd erupt into cheers at the end of 'All About Tonight'. Jason took a bow and smiled with that nervous smile he does. I grinned at this. He'd performed perfectly! The dancers filed off stage, Alice being one of them. As much as I disliked her, I couldn't deny that she'd danced amazingly.
The next few acts were of various talents; the school's acrobatic group performed some 'Ahh'-inducing tricks, a group of Year 7 girls made a tribute to the Spice Girls' 'Wannabe' which ended with one of the members falling off the stage to tremendous applause and the GCSE Drama group recreating a scene from 'Chicago'.
The backdrop suddenly projected an image of Jennifer Lawrence clutching a bow and arrow, the lights in the room dimmed and a single spotlight illuminated a circle on the stage. Jason walked, head bowed, into the spotlight to applause. He took his place in front of the mic and the sound of acoustics started.
'I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'd never let you go...' -- The room burst into applause and whoops at the end of the song as the room re-illuminated and somebody near the front actually rose from his chair to applaud. I turned to my left to see Jason's family clapping their hands almost violently. Jason's mum hadn't told him that his family were coming to watch the performance; even his Dad had arrived with his girlfriend.
Jason stayed on stage, looking nervous as the school choir filed on behind him. The lights dimmed once again and the spotlight shone down on him, casting the choir into shadow. The band to the side took their place and the acoustic guitar began to play. Jason took a step towards the microphone, closed his eyes and began to sing 'Give Me Love'. He sang alone until half way through the song, the choir was lit up and they began to sing the backing vocals. Jason came into his own with the support, belting out the big notes and slipping into falsetto making the hairs on my arm stand on end. When the song ended on an acapella line from Jason, the room fell silent for a few seconds before exploding with roars of applause, everybody was on their feet and Jason couldn't hide his delight. He covered his mouth with a shaking hand and his eyes shut tight to try and stop tears from cascading down his face. The older member of the choir were rushing to him and hugging him. I could feel the grin wide on my face. I looked around and saw the same grin plastered on every person.
- Jason's Dialogue -
"Now that," Alice said "was incredible." I'd walked off the stage shaking like a leaf and with the sound of applause still ringing in my ears. People rushed around me, clapping me on the back but my vision was too obscured with tears to be able to see who it was. I took a seat backstage and tried to compose myself. I wasn't sure if I could even get back on stage for the final performance, it was around 20 minutes away and everybody would be expecting something amazing. My throat was dry and I could feel my palms sweating.
As if she'd read my mind, Alice rushed up to me with a bottle of water and crouched in front of me.
"You absolutely killed it out there!" she said.
"It wasn't just me out there though. The band played brilliantly and it wouldn't have been nearly as good without the choir there." I replied, my voice still trembling.
"Modest. After a standing ovation, you still keep to who you are." She said smiling.
"Oh god, please, don't say 'who you are'. I'm not sure if I can go out there again, I can barely feel my legs." I said. A look of brief worry ran across Alice's face before she quickly smiled again.
"You'll be fine, they love you out there! Listen, I need to go, I probably won't see you until after the show. You'll get a good reaction out there. Enjoy it while you can." She drifted off with a dancer's elegance. 'Enjoy it while you can'? What was that supposed to mean?
The final performance arrived much too quickly for my liking and before I knew it, I was being shunted on stage.
My confidence was slipping as I stood there waiting for the backing track to kick in. I searched the crowd for Jack. I spotted him at the back of the room and he smiled at me with a nod. Next to him I saw my mum. My eyes scanned the rest of the row and the sight of my entire family made my heart plummet in my chest. They were all here, watching the entire time. I looked away from them and looked at the people in the front row. I recognised none of them which made it easier for me to focus. Then my eyes fell on him, the dark haired boy from outside, he was looking up at me with sparkling eyes and I started to lose the feeling in my legs just as the track kicked in. -
I stare at my reflection in the mirror Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error I nearly left the real me on the shelf No, no, no, no, no
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are
Who you are, who you are, who you are Who you are, who you are, who you are Who you are, who you are, who you are
Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah 'Cause everything inside me screams No, no, no, no, no
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
But tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising There's nothing wrong with who you are
Yes, no's, egos, fake shows like 'whoah' Just go and leave me alone Real talk, real life, good luck, good night With a smile, that's my home, that's my home, no No, no, no, no, no
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are Yeah, yeah, yeah
Just be true to who you are -
The room went dark.
-Jack's Dialogue-
The darkness and applause was ended by the abrupt projection on the wall behind Jason.
The whole room was now staring at Jason's living room; more specifically, Jason and I in an embrace. They were playing a video of our first make-out! I heard gasps nearby but I just looked straight ahead in horror as the footage of us removing our tops and kissing played on. Jason turned around on stage and stared at the video being played behind him.
He ran off of the stage. There was a crash and the room was once again in darkness.
-Jason's Dialogue-
"Now you know," Alice said, with a malicious smile "how it feels to have your heart broken." She was stood next to the broken monitor and sound system that I had just knocked to floor in an attempt to end the madness. Alex walked up slowly behind Alice and put an arm around her.
"If it isn't the little queer himself." He said with a sneer. Without thinking, I lunged at him and my fist collided hard with his face and he fell to the floor clutching at his nose.
"You did this! You bastard!" I was shaking with rage and fear. The lights had been turned on and I could hear a member of staff thanking everybody for coming.
"Alex!" Alice crouched to the floor to help her boyfriend into a sitting position. He waved her off.
"Yes, we did this! Alex knew how much you'd hurt me and wanted to help. It was a stroke of luck that I had my camera on me when you told me your dirty little secret. I hid it as we talked. I was going to show everyone your confession to being gay, but I forgot to pick it up before I left. I remembered just after I'd been to see Jack. I couldn't run back and collect it straight away; that would be too suspicious. So I came to get it a few days ago and was going to play your confession tonight. But then I looked through the entire recording and I just HAD to use your little make- out instead. It was too perfect. Alex set it up to play just after you're last song."
"You bitch. I trusted you! Why would you do this?!" I said.
I never found out. Teachers and students were rushing to where we were. I took that as my cue to leave. There was supposed to be an after-party in the school canteen but as I walked into there, I found the room empty. I decided it would be better to make my way back to the car.
-Jack's Dialogue-
I ran away before anybody could spot me. Surely what had just happened couldn't have been real? I was outside the school gates before everybody else began to walk out of the hall.
I started the walk home, my mind racing. The secret was out. I didn't know how it had happened. My head told me that it had to be Jason's fault, but the way he reacted to the video said otherwise. I needed to talk to him. I pulled my phone out from my jacket and tried calling him but it went straight to answerphone. He must have had his phone turned off during the show. I ran the rest of the way home.
Once inside my house, my mum walked into the hallway and asked me how the show was. There was no point trying to conceal what had happened so I opened up to her.
"Mum, there's something I need to tell you." I said, facing the floor.
"What's the matter honey? Have you been crying?" She said. I hadn't noticed the tears that had fallen down my face, I wiped them away quickly. "Mum, me and Jason. We've sort of been seeing each other." She looked at me as if I hadn't finished my sentence. "As in, we are- we were a couple."
"What do you mean you 'were'?" her eyes widened "Aren't you anymore?" She sounded shocked.
"You knew?" I said, looking up at her.
"Of course I knew! I haven't seen you this happy in ages. What's happened? Why aren't you together anymore?"
"At the show, somehow a video of me and Jason kissing was played in front of everybody. I don't know what to do." My voice broke on the last sentence and I started to cry again. My mum quickly scooped me into a hug and steered me into the living room. She sat me down at the sofa and took my hands in hers.
"It's okay, Jack." She smiled at me in the way only a mother could "what you need to do now, is speak to Jason. He probably feels exactly the same way you do right now."
-Jason's Dialogue-
"Dad, please." I said. I was standing by my mum's car and my family were standing around me, my mum at my side. I felt cornered.
"Jason, tell me that was a wind up." Sam said to me.
I couldn't look at him; I couldn't look at any of them apart from my dad, who was deliberately looking away from me.
"I've had enough of this. I can't bear to look at you." My dad said. He turned his back on me and stalked off into the dark car park towards his own car, girlfriend in tow.
"Look, he's your brother," my mum started, looking at my siblings "whether he's gay or not shouldn't matter to you."
"It matters to me." Lara said "It just doesn't seem right." My heart dropped. I was counting on Lara to be supportive, if she wouldn't stand by me, none of them would.
"Well go then." I said "I can tell none of you want to be around me. So just fuck off, yeah." I climbed into the car and purposely stared directly in front of me. In the distance I could see the dark haired boy looking around as if he was lost. His family were right next to him, but he kept looking around. I could hear my mum arguing with my brother and then it ended abruptly. A few moments later, she was climbing into the driver's side of the car and she'd started the engine.
"Listen, Jason." She turned to me and grabbed my arm. "I don't care about what the others say. You'll always be my little boy no matter what. They'll come around eventually." I got the impression she didn't know what to say to reassure me.
We drove out of the school gates and onto the main road.
"You were amazing tonight, you know." She said.
"Thanks. It didn't end how I'd hoped."
"What I want to know," she said "is how that video even ended up being there, you didn't film that yourself did you?"
"No! It was Alice; she'd had it planned for a while apparently."
"That girl is a monster. If I ever get my hands on her..." She said; the malice in her voice was clear. We drove onto a roundabout, joining a stream of cars.
"You don't need to tell me that, I know she is."
We were silent for the rest of the journey until we pulled into our road. "I'll tell you now though, I've never been as proud of someone as I am of you right now." She said to me seriously.
I turned to her and opened my mouth to reply but all that came out was a scream as I saw the headlights of a car speeding towards us. My mum turned her gaze just in time to see the lights before they collided with us. --
I woke up a short while afterwards, pain making me groan in agony. My face was warm with blood and I was face down on the floor outside the wreck of a car. Panic hit me hard as I cried out for my mum. I rushed over to the driver's side of the car, yanked open the door and saw her slumped over at an awkward angle. Without thought, I pulled her free of the wreckage and onto the ground. I crouched down next to her motionless body and put my arms around her, cradling her. A large shard of glass was lodged deep in her abdomen and the blood was pouring out of the wound. She coughed her eyes opened wide as she tried to take in breath.
"It's okay, mum. It's fine. We'll get you to a hospital." I pulled out my phone and called for an ambulance.
"Jas-" she tried to speak.
"No, mum. Don't talk." I said, my tone frantic. The world around me seemed a blur. People were rushing out of their houses and running towards us. My mum's breathing was becoming more difficult and the blood carried on spilling away from her. She reached an arm up and rested it against my face, her fingers brushing my ear. She looked into my eyes, and I looked back into hers. Her eyes twinkled before her arm fell and she took her last breath.
She died in my arms.
--- TBC
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Thank you for reading.
Justin.