Soulmates

Rikki & Ginny Rikki Needs A Stroke

(I know I have to write the story of Lauren's birth. It is on my `to do' list and I have made some notes for it. This story also answers a question some have asked me about another story.)

Ginny's life was very busy two months after Lauren's birth, a most beautiful baby she thought. Her mom had arranged leave so she could be home for the birth and a couple of weeks after. She was back in the Middle East now, driving her Predator where they needed it to go. Her father couldn't work it out to get free.

Ginny had to get up, feed Lauren, and make sure there was enough breast milk for the day before getting ready for work. A quick breakfast and she was out the door. Several of Ginny's neighbors, Rikki's mom, Allison's mom, even Sarah's mom, on occasion, had volunteered to take turns watching the little one while she was at the bookstore. If she went to Rikki's or Allison's, Ginny made sure to give them a ride if they needed to go somewhere.

Only a part-time job, the bookstore was Ginny's way of offsetting some of the household costs and reducing the burden on her parents. Besides, it was a feather in the store's cap to have a published author there. It seemed like she was autographing one of her books about every day, increasing her royalties in addition to what she made in salary.

After work, Ginny picked up Lauren, fed her if necessary, and took some time to relax. Once she was down, Ginny got to work. She was trying to write enough new material to put out another volume of poetry before the holidays. Ginny was also researching colleges and universities that she could commute to while Rikki finished high school.

Ginny felt bad about Rikki. Life was overwhelming right now and Rikki was bearing the brunt of it. She tried to spend time with Rikki when she could, but it wasn't as it was before the birth. If Ginny wasn't falling asleep in Rikki's arms, there wasn't enough time for proper lovin'. She didn't know what she could do about it.

Rikki was feeling severely under-loved. After being Ginny's primary interest for almost a year, she was now a distant number two and she didn't know what to do about it. If Ginny wasn't feeding, changing, or playing with Lauren, she was on her laptop writing or researching something on the Internet.

The excitement she had when she got back from soccer camp only lasted a little while. Allison and she had lots of stories when they got back. There were things to put in the scrapbooks. They would practice in the backyard.

Now, other than training with Allison a couple of days a week, Rikki had little to do. There was only so much sunbathing she could do. She helped the moms take care of Lauren and tried to support Ginny as much as she could. Rikki was bored.

It was a Friday night when Rikki snapped. Lauren was down for the night. Rikki and Ginny were curled up on the sofa. Ginny was asleep and Rikki was listening to the night. Something in Rikki made a decision. She slipped out from behind Ginny, laid her on her back, and covered her with an afghan.

Rikki moved into the kitchen and sat at the table. She wrote a note to Ginny telling her that she was tired of being second fiddle and was going home. She would call in a day or two. Rikki gathered up her stuff, put the alarm system on a delay so it would come back on after she'd left, and started walking home.

Sometime later, Ginny woke up. She knew something was wrong. Rikki wasn't curled up behind her. She looked in the bathroom and the bedroom before going into the kitchen. She saw the note, read it, and started crying. Ginny ran for the phone and dialed Rikki's home number.

It rang a number of times before she heard a sleepy, "Hello?"

"Jessica, it's Ginny. I'm sorry to call so late, but there's a problem."

Rikki's mom sounded more awake, "That's OK, Sweetheart. What's wrong?"

"Rikki's upset about something. She wrote me a note and left. I don't know if she called a cab or she's walking or she called Sarah or what."

"If Rikki's in a funk about something, she's walking."

"What can we do? I can't go looking for her without waking Lauren. I can call my `friends'?"

"Let me look for her first. If I can't find her, we'll call Sarah and your `friends'."

"Let me know?!"

"As soon as I can." Jessica dressed and got in her car. What she couldn't tell Ginny is the last time Rikki was this mad; it was weeks before she was back to something even resembling normal. Jessica was concerned that Rikki might not be taking the straight-line route home too.

Cruising the route between the houses, Jessica kept an eye on both sides of the street. About halfway to Ginny's she saw Rikki. She was on the other side of the street, head down and huddled into her collar. Avoiding signs, people, and other obstacles as if on instinct, Rikki kept moving.

Turning around, Jessica parked and pulled out her cell-phone, "Did you find her?"

"Yes, Ginny. I found her. I'm looking at her now. Be calm, Little Mother. It's not good for you to be upset or Lauren will be affected. I'll try to get Rikki to call you tomorrow, but don't be surprised if it takes a couple of days."

"I guess. I'm just glad she's OK. Thanks, Jessica."

"You're very welcome. I'm glad you called."

Jessica pulled ahead of Rikki, opened the car door, and honked the horn. Hesitating beside the open door, Rikki sighed deeply and got in. When she closed the door, Jessica drew her into a hug. Rikki started sobbing into Jessica's shoulder. She let Rikki cry a bit before cupping her chin and looking into her eyes. "I don't want to know what happened. We'll talk about that later. I just want you to make me a promise."

Rikki sniffled, "What?"

"That whenever you need or want a ride, day or night, you call me. I will come and get you, wherever you are. Gustav may no longer be a threat, but I would still prefer you to be safe."

"Did Ginny call you?"

"Yes. She phoned when she couldn't find you in the house. I'm glad she did. Do you promise?"

Rikki sniffled again, "Yes."

Jessica started the car and headed for home. When they got there, she pushed Rikki towards the stairs, "Get ready for bed. I'll lock up and come tuck you in."

"OK, Mom." Rikki trudged out-of-sight.

Jessica locked up, turned on the alarm, and headed for her unhappy daughter's room. She found Rikki curled up on her side under the covers. Jessica sat on the edge of the bed and Rikki moved over so she could lay her head in her mom's lap. Jessica stroked Rikki's hair and crooned, "Go to sleep, my baby. Everything will be OK." She stayed until Rikki was asleep, laid her on the pillow, and turned out the light.

Rikki's mom let her sleep until she was ready to get up. A glass of juice was waiting when Rikki plopped down at the table. Her eyes and nose were red from crying. "Do you want something to eat?"

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Do you want to tell me what happened last night?"

Rikki's head was down, "I guess."

"Let's go in the living room." Jessica took Rikki by the hand and led her into the other room. She sat on the sofa and pulled Rikki down onto her lap. Rikki wrapped her arms around her mom's neck and rested her head on Jessica's shoulder. Jessica hugged Rikki close and waited for her to talk.

Eventually, Rikki raised her head so she could look into her mom's eyes. "I'm not sure Ginny loves me anymore?"

"What makes you say that, Darling?"

"All I've been lately is a soft pillow. She's so busy with Lauren or doing something on her laptop, that when she has time for me, she usually falls asleep. I can't remember the last time we made love or even just laid there and talked."

"What made you leave?"

"Something in me couldn't stand being lonely in the house anymore. I had to get out of there. I made sure Ginny was covered, wrote her a note, and started walking. That's when you found me."

Jessica kissed Rikki's sad eyes, her red nose, and her frown. "You know that Lauren requires a lot of care right now?"

"I know that. I help as much as I can. There are days when I spend almost as much time with her as Ginny does."

Jessica considered her next words. She wanted to keep Rikki talking without judging, "Between the job and Lauren, what else is Ginny doing?"

"She's spending a lot of time on the computer."

"Is she working on a deadline?"

"I don't know."

"Have you told Ginny how you feel?"

"No. I didn't want to add to her problems."

"Didn't you create a problem by not telling her?"

Rikki thought for a moment, "I guess."

"Do you think Ginny wants you to be unhappy?"

"There's a hole in my heart that says `I don't know' and it hurts, a lot." Rikki started crying again.

Jessica hugged her tightly, "I know Ginny loves you."

"Then why does my heart hurt so much?" Mother and daughter sat there. Jessica held Rikki close, running her hand up and down her back. Rikki's face was buried in Jessica's neck. Finally, she napped. Jessica closed her eyes.

She felt Rikki rouse and held her close so she didn't startle, "Feeling better?"

Rikki looked up at her mom; sleep still in her eyes, "A bit."

"Can you call Ginny? I'm sure she would like to hear from you."

Rikki buried her face in Jessica's shoulder again, "Not yet."

"That's Ok, Darling. May I call her and tell her you're Ok?"

"Yes."

"Anything you want me to tell her?"

"Please tell her I'm sorry I made her worry."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate that. Why don't you go shower? By the time you get cleaned up, I should have lunch ready."

"Ok, Mom," and bounced a little towards the stairs.

Once she heard the door close, Jessica called Ginny. The first thing she wanted to know was how Rikki was. "She's fine, Ginny. A little down in the dumps, but on the mend. She's not ready to talk to you yet, but wanted me to tell you that she's sorry she made you worry."

"Please assure her that there's nothing to forgive. Did she tell you why she left?"

"Yes

"Can you tell me why?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. You should wait for her to tell you."

"Can you give me a clue?"

"We've talked about it before."

Jessica could tell Ginny wasn't sure, "Tell her I would love to talk to her?"

"I will."

"Tell her I love her?"

"I will. I'll talk to you tomorrow if she won't."

Rikki came down looking freshly scrubbed and in better shape than she was earlier. Jessica set a plate containing a cheeseburger and fries in front of her, along with a Diet-Coke, "Ginny wanted me to tell you three things."

Rikki looked a little hopeful, "What?"

"That there was nothing to forgive. That she loves you and dearly wants to hear from you."

"Thanks, Mom." She dug into her cheeseburger. When she was finished, she put her plate in the sink and went looking for her mom. Finding her sitting on the living room sofa, Rikki climbed onto her lap and rested her head on Jessica's shoulder.

Jessica hugged Rikki close and drew her chin up, "What's up, Darling?"

"How can I make things better with Ginny?"

Jessica kissed Rikki's forehead while she thought, "You can tell Ginny what you need. If she doesn't know you're in pain, she can't help and you both suffer. If she knows, you both benefit. Ginny might be so focused on what she's doing, she isn't aware that both of you need a break."

"Thanks, Mom. I'll think about it."

"Want to watch a movie with me?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you pick something out and start it." Rikki got up and rummaged through their collection. She slipped a disc into the player and hit start. She sat down next to her mom and laid her head in Jessica's lap. Mother and daughter watched `Josh Groban in Concert', Jessica stroking Rikki's hair, Rikki relaxed in her mother's closeness.

When the movie was over, Rikki went jogging. As soon as she left, Jessica called Sarah and Allison and asked them to come over. When they got there, she explained that Rikki and Ginny had had an argument and Rikki was reluctant to talk to Ginny. Jessica trusted the girls to support Rikki and possibly move her closer to talking to Ginny.

When Rikki came in the door, Sarah and Allison grabbed her and dragged her up to the bathroom. They stripped her and threw her in the shower. Rikki spluttered under the spray as Sarah and Allison scrubbed her from head to toe. She wasn't able to utter a word until the `Terrible Two' were using bath towels to dry her off, "What..."

Sarah was using the dusting powder, "Your mom said we could use you as a guinea pig," and gave an evil laugh. Jessica shook her head when she heard the `Mooooommmmmm' cry from upstairs.

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Well, we have some new makeup to try out...

Rikki was starting to get into the spirit of things, "Noooooooo! Not new makeup!"

"...a new hairstyle..."

"Not a new hairstyle!"

"...and maybe some other interesting tortures."

Wrapped in dry towels, Sarah and Allison turned the vanity chair around so Rikki couldn't see the mirror and plopped her down on it. Allison started combing Rikki's hair and Sarah started on her makeup. Sarah carefully did, in fact overdid, Rikki's eyebrows, eyelids, eyelashes, blush, and lipstick. Leaving Rikki's hair a little wet, Allison dipped into the hair gel and started her work.

Sarah called out, "Mrs. Laveque, can you come up here please? You might want to bring your camera too."

"Sure. Be right there."

Rikki wondered, "Camera? Why? Can I see how it came out?"

Allison countered, "I don't know. Are you asking if you have the ability or if you have permission?"

"Permission, I guess."

"In that case, no, not until your mom has a look."

Jessica came through the bedroom door at that moment and gasped. Before her was an apparition; twin rows of hair spikes, what looked like a single eyebrow, heavy eyelashes, and cherry-colored cheeks. "Oh, my. You are so beautiful, Darling. I must have a picture." Sarah and Allison posed beside Rikki as Jessica snapped the picture. Allison handed Rikki a mirror and started laughing. Rikki looked at the `Terrible Two's' handiwork and Sarah started laughing.

Rikki turned around and got the full picture in the big mirror. She turned back to find her mom trying very hard not to dissolve into a puddle of laughter herself, "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. You have to admit, it is a different look."

Rikki started laughing herself, "Yes, it is."

Sarah had almost gotten herself back under control, "We're sorry, Rikster. We were just having a little fun. Why don't you go wash your hair and face and we'll do you up properly. We really do have a new hairstyle we want to show you."

"I forgive you, this time." Rikki went back to the bathroom and washed the gel out of her hair and the makeup off her face. With just a bit of trepidation, she put herself in the hands of the `Terrible Two' again.

This time when they called Jessica up, she was truly amazed at the change. Rikki's makeup was very subtly done and made her look five years older. Her hair was straightened and pulled back into an upswept loose braid. Allison used the clip Sarah's mom had given her to tie it all together. They left a lock of hair on either side loose, to frame her face, "Definitely a keeper."

Rikki turned around and looked, "Oh...My...God! It's beautiful. Thanks, guys."

"Get dressed. We're taking you out to dinner and a movie."

"May I, Mom?"

"Sure. Go have fun." All three girls threw on clothes and bounced out the door, chattering about where they were going to eat and what they wanted to see.

Jessica took a moment to e-mail the two pictures and call Ginny. "I called Sarah and Allison to come over and maybe take Rikki's mind off things for a little while. They gave her a gag hairdo and then did her up real nice. I sent you the pictures. They're off to dinner and a movie right now."

"How's Rikki doing?"

"We talked some more after lunch and she went jogging. The `Terrible Two' took over after that. I think she's doing better."

"Is she going to call?"

"I'm going to try to get her to call you tonight, not to talk about what happened yesterday but just to talk. You can talk about her new `do, where they went to eat, what movie they saw."

"I can do that. It'll be good to talk to her. Thanks, Jessica. `Night."

" `Night, Little Momma." Jessica finished cleaning up the kitchen, did the laundry and other housework, finally settling on the sofa in the living room. A slice of quiche and a glass of tea sat on the end table beside her as she sketched a new project on a drawing pad.

She heard a car pull up outside and moments later, the front door bang open, "Mom!"

"In here, kiddo." Jessica put down her pad just before Rikki rounded the corner and launched herself. Jessica caught Rikki with a thump, "I take it you had a good time."

"We had the best time. Sarah and Allison took me to Jaliscos' to eat. It's a Mexican restaurant where they bring the plates to the table with oven mitts. The food is hot but not spicy. I was told that was how authentic Mexican food is supposed to be served. Then we went to see "Racing Stripes."

"Was it good?"

"The food was excellent and we laughed until our sides hurt."

"I'm glad you had a good time. Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Call Ginny."

"I'm not ready to talk about yesterday."

"I don't want you to talk about yesterday. I want you to talk about today. Tell her about your new hairdo. Tell her about the restaurant and the movie. Just talk." Rikki buried her face in her mom's neck. "Rik?"

Softly, barely above a whisper, "I'll call."

"She's not mad at you. She just wants to hear your voice."

Rikki unwound herself from her mom and went over to the phone. She brightened at the sound of Ginny's voice. Jessica heard Rikki mention hair, food, and the movie. She promised to try to call tomorrow and hung up.

"How are you doing?"

"Ok, I guess. It was good to hear Ginny's voice but I kept thinking about yesterday."

"You'll talk about it when you're ready. Why don't you go up to bed and I'll come tuck you in in a bit."

" `Night, Mom."

Tuesday afternoon, Jessica was coming home after a meeting on a new project. When she opened the door, she heard a beeping sound that turned out to be the phone off the hook. Worried that something had happened to Rikki, Jessica searched the house. She found Rikki curled up in a ball on the floor of the living room, crying. Sitting on the floor with her back to the sofa, Jessica gathered up Rikki and hugged her close, "Sweetheart, what happened?"

Rikki looked up and sniffled. Jessica held up a hankie and Rikki blew her nose. She kissed Rikki softly and waited. "I decided that I was ready to talk to Ginny about what happened last Friday. I waited to give Ginny time to get home after work, feed Lauren, and put her down for a nap. Apparently, she'd had a bad day. I started describing what I thought happened and what I needed when Ginny started yelling."

"What did she say?"

"It was all jumbled up. She couldn't understand why I felt lonely when I was spending so much time over there. She didn't consider me anything other than an equal partner. She was worried when she couldn't find me. It all just seemed to pour out. I tried to explain how I felt but Ginny hung up. I guess I dropped the phone rather than hanging it up. You found me on the floor but I'm not sure how I got there."

Jessica hugged Rikki, running her hand up and down Rikki's back, "It'll be Ok. We'll let things cool down and I'll call her tomorrow. Why don't you go get yourself cleaned up, maybe take a nap, and I'll start dinner."

Rikki blew her nose again, "Ok, Mom." She got up and pulled herself up the stairs. Jessica called Sarah and asked her to check on Ginny and be sure she was Ok. Hearing the shower shut off and the bedroom door close, Jessica started on the pasta sauce. She sliced and browned the sausage and ground beef. She drained the pan and added the green peppers, onions, mushrooms. Draining the pan again, Jessica poured the mixture into a large pot, adding tomato paste, tomato sauce, and chopped tomatoes.

Stirring in some marjoram and other spices, Jessica set the sauce to simmer and sat down at the kitchen table with the paper and a cup of coffee. Every few minutes, she got up, siphoned out the fat cooking off the meat, and stirred the pot. At one point, Jessica added some oregano and pepper. A leisurely read through the paper and the pasta sauce was ready. Yelling upstairs, "Rikki. Dinner will be ready soon. Get a move on."

Rikki didn't look much better when she dragged herself down the stairs. Her eyes were still red and she was still sniffling. "Sweetheart, I know you probably aren't hungry, but you need to try to eat something. It won't help if you make yourself sick."

"Ok, Mom."

Rikki picked at her dinner for a while, but did eat a little. After a bit, Jessica had Rikki help her clean up the kitchen and put away the leftovers. Then Rikki sat next to her mom on the sofa watching TV. She rested her head on her mom's shoulder and tried to get into what they were watching. It wasn't long before stress overtook her and she was asleep. Jessica put a pillow in her lap, laid Rikki's head on it, and covered her with an afghan.

When the show was over, Jessica carefully picked up Rikki and carried her up to her bedroom. Drawing the covers back, she laid Rikki down, changed into her nightclothes, and spooned up behind her unhappy daughter.

It wasn't much better in the morning. Rikki moped around, wouldn't come out of her room. About the time Ginny usually got home, Jessica sent Rikki for a run and called her. "Afternoon, Little Momma. How're you doing?"

"Better than yesterday."

"That was what I wanted to ask you about. What happened yesterday?"

"I don't know for sure. Lauren was colicky when I got her up. It seemed like every customer I helped at the bookstore wanted to complain about something. I forgot to stop by the ATM, so I didn't have any cash for lunch. Lauren didn't want to go down for her nap. I had writer's block. Then Rikki called."

"And things fell apart."

"Quickly. How's she doing?"

"If it's possible, she's further down than she was Friday."

"Damn. What can I do?"

"She needs some time. I wanted her to tell you, but I think I need to push things along. What you can do is think about balance."

"Balance?"

"One of the hardest things for me to learn in the early days was to prioritize. I learned that I had to take care of myself first. Then I had to pay attention to my relationship with Gustav. That put me in a position to give Rikki what she needed."

"How does that apply to Rikki and me?"

"Rikki said you've been spending a lot of time on the computer, in addition to your job and taking care of Lauren. When was the last time you had fun? When was the last time Rikki and you made love? When was the last time Rikki was the absolute center of your attention? When was the last time you asked for help?"

"I ask for help every day. I have to line up Lauren's care."

"How `bout asking someone to watch Lauren overnight?"

"Why would I do that? I'm already imposing on them."

"When you can answer that question, you'll understand Rikki's concerns."

"I'll think about it."

"That's all I can ask. `Night, Sweetheart."

" `Night. Tell Rikki I love her."

"Can do."

(continued)

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Copyright 2004 Donal