Disclaimer: I do not know the sexuality of any celebrity mentioned in this story. This story is FICTION.
What's up everyone?
I would once again like to thank everyone who has emailed me about the story.
Now, On with the show!
********************** Previously
Sighing contentedly Sean snuggles into the embrace, unconsciously rubbing Justin's stomach.
"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?" Nervously Justin begins to play with Sean's hair.
"I promise I'll try."
"Where are your parents? I mean. My mom would never let me get into this business without her there." Startled by the Sean question, Sean pulls away from Justin and sits on the opposite side of the swing and stares off. After about five minutes of silence Justin breaks the tension.
"Sean?"
"I don't know." That statement from Sean confuses Justin, but the look on Sean's face scares him.
"What do you mean?" He asks softly, almost fearing the response.
"I mean. I don't know where my parents are. They abandoned me in Central Park when I was eight." Justin sits in shock, who would do that to their kid, to Sean. As Justin reaches out to hug Sean. JC yells out the window that lunch is ready. Justin and Sean make their way silently into the house.
Sean's thoughts are on his parents and his life before he met Madonna; as he and Justin make their way into the house silently. Pretending everything is OK has become Sean's calling card, if he were to show his feelings about his parents and their abandonment of him, it would lead to questions about his state of mind. Truthfully, what Sean has gone through in his life still haunts him every day and the nightmares take over while he sleeps. Trusting people is almost a foreign idea to Sean, all he has seen of people in his short twelve year life is hurt, and opening up to people and trusting them would just set him up for more pain. Even though Sean knows he deserves every bit of pain he has gotten, he still doesn't want to go through it again. Then of course there is Justin, the person who seems to be different than anyone else in his life, and that scares him most of all, losing him.
Sean knows that if he were to tell Justin of his past, Justin would leave him, like everyone else. The thought of seeing that look of disgust on Justin's face aimed at him, is enough to make up his mind for him. Quickly, Justin has become a huge part of his life. Just the thought of Justin's smile is enough to bring one onto Sean's face. He can't describe what it is he feels for him. It's almost as if after meeting Justin, he found something he didn't know he was missing, he felt peace. Sean feels peace with Justin, he doesn't think he deserves; although he's too selfish to care, he's not ready to give up that feeling yet.
Sean isn't the only one deep in thought while heading inside, Justin is beating himself up over bringing up Sean's parents. The thought of what Sean's parents did to him, angers him more than he can say. Everything up until that point had been amazing. He and Sean were laughing, flirting; and before his stupid mistake, cuddling. He knew he should have listened to his gut before asking that question, but his curiosity got the best of him. All he wanted to do was get to know Sean; the person he can't out of his head, better. Justin knows in his heart, he has found his soul mate. From their very first meeting they immediately clicked, Justin could tell Sean doesn't let people in easily. He could tell from the way he treated the rest of NSYNC; not mean, just distant. However, with him, it was different, Sean took a liking to him right away.
A feeling he returned with absolute conviction, even though he could tell, Sean still didn't trust him completely. From that first night in the Hotel, and Sean's reluctance to talk about his past, Justin could tell he was afraid of it. At that moment Justin makes a promise to himself, no matter what Sean has faced, whatever, he has done. Justin will be there for him, protecting him from the Monsters of his past.
The dining room table is filled with more food than Sean has ever seen; he could live off of this for months. He stares a little wide eyed at the site. Lynn and JC sit at the round table and smile at the pair when they walk in. Sean's body language screams out to the rest of the room his unease. There are only two chairs left seated across from one another; Justin and Sean seat themselves as Lynn speaks up.
"Sean, I didn't know what you liked, so I made some of everything. I hope you enjoy it." Lynn pats his shoulder.
"I'm sure I will Lynn. Thanks for this, no one has ever gone through this much trouble for me, thank you." Sean smiles at her and there is a touch of awe in his voice that surprises Lynn. It's obvious Sean hasn't had a lot growing up, she can see that from his gratefulness; which isn't something she's really used to. Not that Justin and the rest of NSYNC don't thank her. They just seem to take it for granted.
"Oh, it's no trouble at all, and your more than welcome." While Sean and Lynn talk, JC leans over to Justin.
"Is everything alright? Sean seems upset about something." Jc whispered.
"Not really, I was being stupid and asked Sean about his parents." Justin replied dejectedly.
"Why would that upset him?" JC was confused, it seems like an innocent Question.
"It's not my place to say."
"OK, I'll respect that."
"Thanks." Lynn's voice breaks up their conversation.
"Well, let's eat, it's getting cold." Everyone starts to fill their plates, and pass other dishes to each other.
"So Sean, Justin tells us you're from New York?" Lynn tries to start up a conversation.
Sean is in the middle of getting a serving of salad. "Yep, I lived there my whole life." He keeps his eyes on his plate avoiding eye contact. Justin watches with a worried expression as Sean grows more uncomfortable. Taking a drink of water JC chimes in.
"Living in New York, that sounds great." JC has also noticed Sean's discomfort but persists with the Question because he feels Sean is hiding something.
"I guess, I'm actually glad to be out of there." Sean starts fiddling with his hands.
"You say that now sweetheart, but eventually you'll miss it there, along with your family." Lynn smiles at Sean, she too has pi9cked on his nerves, but asking that question she was trying to calm him down.
"I guess." Sean is starting to freak out more, this line of Questioning is really messing with his mind. Grabbing his glass of water he downs it trying to pull himself together. Justin is getting ready to pull Sean out of the room and try to calm him down when, to Justins astonishment and anger JC asks the question that burst open Sean's wounds.
"What? Are you not close to your parents?" Justin shoots JC an angry glare. Sean starts to go into full out hyperventilating, but refrains long enough to make up his mind, It's time he told them; particularly, Justin, about his past.
"I don't have parents, or family, for that matter." Sean says with utter calmness and determination it unnerves Justin.
"What do you mean? Were you in foster care?" Lynn feels sorry for Sean, a foster home is never an easy place for a child.
"No, my parents abandoned me in the park when I was eight." still as calm as before, Sean answers. Lynn doesn't want to believe what she just heard.
"Oh, Sean." she whispers. JC is beating himself up for that Question now, if he had only known.
"Oh my god, what did you do?" JC asks. With that question Sean starts to cry.
"Sean, you have to answer that if you don't want to." Justin says, it's killing him to see Sean upset like that.
"No, you all need to hear it now, so when you start to hate me, it won't hurt as much, as it would if I waited."
"We could never hate..." Sean cut Justin off.
"I sold myself." Sean says with a small voice with tears running down his face.
"No." Justin says as he too starts crying.
"Yeah, that's right, I let guys fuck me for money. I didn't want to, but I was so hungry. I didn't have any other way to eat. You have to believe me, it was a last resort. I didn't want to, please. You have to believe me. I didn't want to, but my stomach hurt. I was so so hungry. I didn't have another choice......" Sean fell to his knees sobbing so hard and deep he couldn't catch his breath. Justin rushed over to him and pulled him into his arms and cried right along with him. Sean continued to cry and apologize repeatedly. Eventually, Sean calmed down enough to hear Justin whispering in his ear repeatedly.
"It's ok. I still love you. It's not your fault baby. I still love you." Justin rocked him back and forth. Sean pulled back and looked at Justin.
"You love me?"
"Yes, I do."
"I love you too." With that answer, Justin pulled Sean into a deep kiss, while JC and Lynn looked on with smiles.
To Be Continued...
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