X-Sender: mcdonald@vorteb.math.uab.edu
This was going to be a quickie, but I don't seem able to write them.
A Tale of Three Costumes by Sean MacDonald
"May I help you?" asked the old man behind the counter, as a thin, blonde college student named Simon (as the wizard instantly knew) entered the shop.
"Uh, yeah," Simon replied. "This way cool sorority is throwing a costume party, and they're inviting guys, too, but..."
"Say no more. I know of this party. The sorority will only allow guys to enter if they're wearing a costume from this shop. Am I right?"
"Yeah, yeah. I guess you've already had a bunch of guys come by, then."
"Indeed I have. In fact, I am all out of costumes at the moment for this very reason."
"No way!"
"I'm afraid so."
"But if I don't go to this party, Janet won't speak to me again. Don't you have anything left?"
"I'm afraid the only costumes I have left are women's costumes, and they would be most unsuitable..."
"I don't care. I'll take 'em."
"'Take' them? You must misunderstand. You may rent these costumes, as long as you follow certain precautions."
"Okay, okay, whatever."
The old man went into the back of the shop, and brought back a large brown bag. "Ah, you do have a credit card? I ask only because I will have to bill you if you fail to return the costumes."
"Sure, here." Simon handed over a credit card, which the old man swiped through the credit card machine and then returned.
"Now I have to tell you the disclaimers. You must leave the party by 7:00 a.m. but not before 2 a.m., unless it's raining heavily or foggy, but not if it's snowing, in which case you must remove the costume immediately. If it's only slush or freezing rain, then the whole time table changes. And, if you remove the costume before leaving the party, then you have to figure in an extra hour or two before leaving (or nonleaving) the party's premises becomes a viable concern. Should any of the costumes be stained in any way, they should be soaked in water overnight unless stained by wine in which case soak instead with club soda, or if stained with blood, soak in soapy water. If stained with wine and blood, soak in neither soapy water nor club soda, but instead use a warm compress..." The old man continued like this for another half hour or so, finally ending with "Any damage to the costumes will cancel their magic and you will be billed for the entire costume. Is that all understood?"
With a start, Simon realized that the old man had finally stopped talking. Not wanting a repeat of the lecture, Simon replied "Yes, fine," despite the fact he had been paying little attention. And, with that, he left the shop, with his new costume in the bag.
Later that evening, Simon met his friend Lee and Alex over dinner, and as they finished their meal, the topic of discussion turned to the shop where they had all rented costumes for this evening's party.
"I can't believe how much that old geezer liked to talk," Simon commented.
"Yeah, I know," Lee commented, "The old guy tried to convince me that he only had women's costumes left. As if I'd wear women's clothes! You guys didn't fall for that, did you?"
Simon and Alex exchanged guilty glances.
"Er, um, well, what sort of costume did you get?" Simon asked in return.
"You'll have to see it to believe it."
Soon they had agreed to return to their dorm rooms, get dressed, and meet at Lee's room before heading off together for the party.
As Simon put on his costume, Lee's words came back to him. "You guys didn't fall for that, did you?" Aaargh. Well, it could be worse, he supposed, though he wasn't sure how.
Basically, the costume was pink, pink, and more pink, a long frilly dress made to look like the one worn by the Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz movie. At least it was nonsexy even if extremely effeminate. He moved around in the long pink dress, and found it slightly arousing. He then put on the shoes that came with the dress, as well as the plastic replica of her crown. Suddenly, he felt his body altering, swelling in several places. After a moment of confusion, Simon looked down, and saw that he seemed to have filled out the dress in front. He pulled the top of the dress away from his chest and looked down on two large, beautiful breasts. He looked in a mirror, and saw that his face had changed; he was now an exact copy of Glinda.
"What's going on?" he wondered, before remembering that the old guy at the Spells R Us store had said that the costume was magic. Panicky, he stripped off the costume, noticing how the changes reversed as he pulled the dress off. When the dress was over his knees, he could see his legs growing hair again; when it was over his crotch, he could see male genitalia blooming again; and as he pulled it over his head, he could see his chest flattening out again. In the mirror, he saw his body with Glinda's face strangely juxtaposed on top. He removed the crown, and that reverted to normal as well. "Whew," he thought. "I sure hope there weren't any important instructions in what that old guy said..."
Quickly, he put the costume back on and headed towards Lee's dorm room.
As Simon arrived at Lee's room, he saw a sexy cheerleader waiting outside the door, wearing a short-sleeved miniskirt outfit. "Simon, is that you?" she asked. Simon racked his brain trying to think where he had seen her before, because he definitely wanted to see her again. "It's me, Alex," she continued.
"Damn. You look...great." Simon examined Alex; noticing Alex's cleavage and hairless legs, Simon assumed Alex had also been transformed by his costume.
"You should talk. That's one hell of a costume. I just hope Lee doesn't make too big a deal about us having female costumes..."
"Lee? Gee, what makes you think he'd do that?" Simon asked sarcastically.
Lee's door opened and Lee, wearing a long robe that concealed his costume told them to come in. As they did, he laughed at them. "Are you guys sissies or what? You wouldn't catch me in costumes like that! Hahaha!"
"Then let's see yours!" Simon replied.
"I knew you'd want to see it..." Lee threw his robe from his body, and revealed his own magnificent costume. He was "dressed" as a satyr, but his body had been transformed just as Simon and Alex had been. His chest was hairy, but his legs were furry, ending in a pair of goat's hooves. Now that Simon knew what to look for, he noticed small horns on Lee's forehead. However, the part of Lee's costume that held Simon and Alex spellbound was its anatomically correctness; or rather its exaggerated anatomy...for Lee was now sporting an inhumanly large erection (just like the satyrs seen in Greek art) which poked through the thick brown fur around his legs.
"Did you guys' costumes change you like mine did?" Lee grinned evilly. "If so, I think I have an idea how to kill the time until the party..."
Simon and Alex simply grimaced. "I don't think so, Lee," Simon replied. "How about we play poker instead?"
"Oh, okay. You're no fun." The three friends then pulled out their money, while Lee searched around for his deck of cards. Soon, Alex pulled way ahead in the game, having amassed a large supply of chips, while Lee was running a close second. Simon continued to fold, after being given terrible hand after terrible hand. Lee's winnings were due almost solely to luck, as he was a terrible bluffer. After being given the last hand before they planned to leave for the party, Lee seemed rather excited about his hand, and kept raising the stakes. Alex seemed more than happy to keep raising right along with him, until Lee had no more chips to bet. Simon couldn't believe that they were going to risk so much money on one hand; usually the group played with a maximum bet for any given hand, but this time they had forgotten to state one.
Lee now began to haggle, but Alex seemed adamant, that unless Lee had enough chips, he would have to fold. Lee looked at the large pot, and Simon could see little dollar signs flashing in Lee's eyes. Lee kept offering things in trade, but Alex wouldn't have any of it.
Then, Alex commented, "Of course, if you're willing to bet your costume, that would work..."
"What?"
"You heard me. If I win, I get your costume, and you have to wear mine to the party."
Lee hesitated for a moment, but looked again at his cards and smiled. "It's a bet!" Lee laid down his hand: all clubs, 9, 10, J, Q, K. A straight flush.
Alex smiled calmly and laid down his hand: all spades, 10, J, Q, K, A. A royal straight flush.
"I, I can't believe it." Lee stood there in shock, looking at the cards that had defeated him. Alex scooped up the chips, and mentioned that they had better switch costumes now in order to arrive at the party on time.
As Alex removed his costume, his body slowly reverted to normal, one piece at a time. Simon had to help Lee remove his costume, as Lee was still staring in disbelief at the cards. Simon found that Lee's costume had a zipper in the back, and unfastened it. He then helped Lee out of the costume; as he did, Lee's forehead horns vanished, and the "anatomically correct" part of the costume seemed to deflate a bit.
Lee was naked underneath the satyr costume, and his own equipment was miniscule in comparison to the costume's. When Simon and Alex helped him into the cheerleader's outfit, though, it no longer mattered, as it vanished completely. Soon, Lee was the ravishing (if reluctant) cheerleader. Alex stepped into the satyr body-stocking, and was transformed into the obviously horny creature that had been Lee mere moments earlier. Simon handed Lee's robe to Alex, stating "You should probably try to keep that thing under wraps until we get to the party, where probably anything goes...after all, the sorority wanted us to wear these costumes." Alex fondled himself for a moment before agreeing.
"It's so weird," Alex mentioned. "It feels like it's reallly a part of me. These costumes are brilliant!"
"I'm not going," Lee stated.
"What? But that was part of the deal," Alex replied.
"I don't care. I can't go out in this body or in this costume. I can't."
"Oh, how about, we trade costumes again halfway through the party? Then you can be the satyr again, and I'll be the little cheerleader, okay?"
"No. No. No," Lee repeated, but after a few minutes of heated discussion, Lee finally agreed to this compromise.
Soon, the trio arrived at the party. Alex was a hit, proudly displaying his costume to all who wanted to see or touch. Lee hid in a corner, trying not to socialize at all, embarrassed beyond words. Simon, however, made the best of a bad situation, laughing at the joke that the girls had played, having made them all rent these costumes. He found his friend Janet, who apparently had only wanted to see if he was willing to make a fool of himself; he realized he had no future with Janet, but found several of the other girls more understanding. He and Lee, though, were the only ones who had had to wear female costumes; Simon chatted with a friendly werewolf, a bear, and a huge hog, all of whom took the joke with aplomb. One guy, dressed as a vampire with real, pointy teeth, seemed to think that Simon was one ofthe sorority sisters and kept trying to hit on her. Simon kept trying to get out of his way, but he kept bringing her drinks, and she began to get drunker and drunker. The vampire, named Andrew, kept staring deeply into Simon's eyes, and Simon felt his resistance crumbling, but wasn't ready to give up yet.
Simon looked over, and saw Lee the cheerleader talking to Alex the satyr. He guessed it might be time for them to trade costumes. Lee went behind Alex, and pulled at the zipper, but it seemed stuck. He yanked harder, and there was a tearing sound. Lee held part of the zipper in his hand; a piece of the costume was attached to it. Simon recalled the old man saying, "Any damage to the costumes will cancel their magic," but Alex was still a satyr. With the zipper ripped apart, the costume limply fell off of Alex, who did not change; that is, he now looked the same as he had with the costume on.
Lee failed to register this fact, and took the costume, saying, "I'm gonna go change. " He paused. "Whoops. Gotta pee first. Be right back." He then left for the bathroom, with the torn satyr costume in hand. People began to stare at Alex, who now seemed oddly shy; Alex put back on Lee's robe, and tied it shut.
"What's the matter?" Simon the good witch asked Alex, to which Alex replied, "Hey, it's one thing if everyone's staring at a costume; it's another matter entirely if they're staring at me." Then he added, "Is this going to be permanent? I kinda like it, but I'm not sure...Do you remember how the costumes work?"
Simon shook his head, no. A scream from the bathroom surprised everyone, and Lee came running out. Lee was wearing the satyr costume, but it hung poorly on him; his legs looked like human legs in a costume, the leg fur looked fake, the costume's male genitalia also looked fake and hung lifelessly, the satyr torso was not skin-tight against Lee's breasts, and Lee's face was still that of the cheerleader, even though Lee was holding the cheerleader costume in his satyr-costume-clad hands.
Simon and Alex asked Lee what was wrong, and Lee began to tell them; meanwhile, Andrew came up to Simon and began to run his hands through Simon's hair. Simon allowed Andrew to do so, in order to hear Lee's story without interruptions. Lee had gone into the bathroom, and carefully laid the satyr costume on the floor. Needing to pee, he reached beneath his skirt and pulled aside his built-in panties, and remembered that he was a woman down there. He felt like pissing while standing so he lifted the miniskirt up to his waist, at which point his genitalia returned to normal, with the panties bunched off to one side. As he pissed, he got tired of feeling the panties squeezing against the side of his genitals, so he decided to pull them further to the side, and carelessly ripped them off. Then, when he was finished pissing, he took off the rest of the cheerleader costume...and nothing else changed back to normal. He was a sexy cheerleader, but with male genitalia. He imagined that putting on the satyr costume might help, but it did not even "activate"; that is, he was not transformed at all by it.
Simon immediately saw the pattern. If the costumes were damaged, then they could no longer transform or untransform. Simon decided that he had enough. He pulled off Glinda's crown and felt his head transforming back to normal. He began to head for the bathroom, when Andrew grabbed his arm. "Where ya goin'?"
"I, uh, need to change."
"Can I give ya a kiss first?"
Simon knew that he'd at least be rid of Andrew once he got to change, so he was willing to put up with one kiss. "Sure, okay."
Andrew's face approached Simon's, and then suddenly veered off to Simon's left, with mouth open and teeth ready to pounce. Simon shoved Andrew instinctively to the left, so that Andrew failed to bite Simon's neck; his teeth instead landed on Simon's shoulder, and bit through the costume into Simon's flesh.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" Simon asked.
"Isn't that what a vampire's supposed to do?"
"Oh, never mind. I'll deal with you later." Simon began to undress in the bathroom, and he felt the pain in his shoulder. He looked over and saw small bloodstains in the costume near the two small holes. "Damn," he thought, and removed the costume anyway, just to be sure. He looked in the mirror, and saw his head atop a naked, lovely female body. Resignedly, he put the dress back on, and went out, where Andrew was waiting for her. Andrew apologized for biting her, and offered to give her a massage to make up for it, which she accepted. Soon, one thing led to another. The next morning, Simon woke up alone in a strange bed in the sorority house, regretting spending the night with Andrew, and not sure what to do next. Andrew's vampire costume lay in shreds at the foot of the bed, and Simon (now Simone) knew she should have asked Andrew for his last name.
And some lived happily ever after and some lived unhappily ever after.