35
"You sure you're going to be okay?" I asked. It seemed odd to be wearing clothes again, but we were going out in public.
"Yeah, we'll be fine," Brian said with a wink. He and Jim were standing on the porch as Grandpapa and I got into my truck. The boys had left about fifteen minutes earlier and I was worried about leaving Brian alone.
"I do know how to take care of a cub," Jim growled, arms crossed, glaring at me.
"Don't hurt him too much," I said.
"Don't worry. I won't," Jim leered.
"Wasn't talking to you," I said. "Shouldn't be long."
"Take your time," Jim called as we pulled away.
"What weren't you telling me in front of Brian?" I said as we drove through the woods.
Grandpapa sighed.
"When Joe died, Brian unwittingly captured his...spirit? Soul? Whatever."
"What? How is that possible?" I asked.
"It's something that runs in his...family," he said.
Maybe I imagined the hesitation before he said family.
"So...that's...bad?" I said.
"Don't know yet. It's just too bad you didn't meet him a couple of years ago," he said, smiling slyly at me.
"Why?" I asked, unsure whether I wanted to know the answer.
"You could have changed both of them. Think Joe would have made a good bear," he grinned.
"That'd be all I'd need," I growled. "Twins."
"Mmmm. Twins...," he purred, then chuckled at my expression.
"Seriously, it would have been easier on Brian," he said, growing somber.
"Why?" I asked in surprise.
"He loves you, but he still loves Joe. He feels guilty about falling in love again, and he feels guilty that he can't let him go. If he can't resolve it, it could tear him apart."
"How do you know that? Did he tell you?"
"He didn't have to. Tell me, what do you see when you screw him?"
"Grandpapa!"
"I'm quite serious," he said.
"I...it's hard to describe," I began. "It's bright and warm...."
"And pure," he finished.
"How...?"
"I had the same experience with him."
"What is it?"
"Right now, when he's with someone he loves, he opens himself fully to them. All his barriers are dropped."
"So...?"
"What you see is his...soul, if you will."
I thought about how it felt.
"I feel the same way when I do you," I said, realization dawning.
"Well, I do love you," he grinned.
"I didn't feel that with Rick," I said, troubled. "Does that mean he didn't love me?"
"No!," he said emphatically, slapping my leg. "Rick loves you greatly. It's just that it takes a special person to be able to do that."
I was upset with myself for letting him even think that. But I was having a hard enough time explaining what was going to happen when I didn't really know myself.
"Before his physical transformation begins, I believe he will undergo a...mental change as well. I suspect that when that happens, he will connect with every bear he has encountered. And possibly to every bear everywhere."
"Like how he 'saw' Jim and the boys and Tucker and his cub?"
"Yes," he said calmly.
"That'd be good, wouldn't it? He'd know where we all were. He'd know if something... happened...," he trailed off, his breath catching in his chest.
"You're beginning to understand," I said soberly. "Think of all the bears you know. And all the bears they know. And the ones they know and so on. Now think of every one of them in your mind."
"Hmmm. That's not good."
"It's not that bad," I said confidently. "Just a matter of the initial shock."
"You sound like you know what he'll be going through."
"I do," I said. "At least somewhat. But there were a lot less of us when it happened to me. That's what's got me so shook up."
He looked at me in surprise. Guess he never though of me of being shakeable.
"You knew when Rick died," he said finally, his old grief echoing my own.
"It's worse the closer you are to them," I said through a tight throat, feeling Rick's spirit trying to comfort me.
Paul reached over, gripping my knee exactly where Rick's phantom touch lay.
"I felt him die," I rasped. "That was why I didn't come to you."
"I understand," he said, blinking tears from his eyes.
"But he's still with me," I said. "Just like Joe is with Brian."
I cleared my throat, setting my grief aside.
"That might be the problem. Not sure how having him in there will affect Brian," I said uncertainly. "As far as I could remember, before I became a werebear, I wasn't able to hold spirits. Or at least I hadn't. When Joe died, I think a part of Brian died as well. That was the point when I lost him completely."
"What do you mean?" he asked, sounding completely confused.
"I just told you I'm connected to almost every werebear. I'm also connected to my human descendants."
"Your what?" he said, slamming on the brakes.
"What?" he smirked. "You think all weres are strictly attracted to their own sex?"
"I...Well...Um...," I stammered.
"It happens," he laughed. "But have you ever met a female werebear?"
"No. No I haven't," I pondered.
"Because the were...gene is only passed on to males. If you had children, the typical way, they would not be weres. They'd be a bit more than human, but not like us. Unless one 'returns to the fold' if you take my meaning."
We sat by the side of the road while I thought about that.
"So Brian's your...real grandson?"
"Many, many times removed, but yes," he smiled. "Imagine what it's like for him, knowing that."
"You told him?"
"He needed to know. My human descendants are more difficult to keep track of. After all, there are a lot more of them than my were children. But I'd been aware on Brian's family for a long time. I was one of the first to see him after he was born. And he remembered me," he grinned. "He said I'd haunted his dreams his whole life. Was quite a shock to have one of his dreams come true."
"Seriously?"
"Ask to see the pictures he drew of me. Seemed to have made quite an impression on him," he said with a wink.
"You have that effect on people," I chuckled weakly.
"When they pass," he continued, "My human childrens...spirits go where they need to go. I was aware of when his family was killed, but it didn't affect me the way the passing of a werebear does."
"So that's why he's the way he is. Are all your...descendents like him?"
"God, no," he said, shaking his head. "He's the strongest I've encountered in...a long time. Possibly ever."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm not the only old bear with human descendents. His mother was descended from two of us. He also gets were blood from his father. Don't know if it's the combination of blood that did it, but...."
He glanced at me and said, "We still need to get to the store...."
I pulled back onto the road and we continued on.
"I was still aware of him until one day, he just...dropped out of my mind. I just found out it was the day Joe died. I thought...I thought maybe he had given into his grief."
"You thought he'd killed himself," he said flatly.
"But what he did was shut himself off from...everything. Granted, I don't sense them easily, it's still unlikely for a 'normal child' to be able to block me out, untrained. I'm thinking even if he hadn't been changed, he would have eventually...blossomed? Whether he would have been able to handle it without going mad, I don't know. I'm just hoping I will be able to help him when it does happen."
"He's going to go insane?" he said in a panic.
"Not if we have anything to do with it. I'm hoping that I will be able to get him ready in time. Remember, when it happened to me, I had no one to explain things. He's already opened himself a bit to me, so I should be able to get him prepared."
He relaxed and I felt his relief to have me there.
"But, at that time," I continued, "All I knew was, he was just...gone. Then he met you and the moment you bred him, he came blazing back into my awareness. So I put out some feelers and tracked him back to you. Then I met him again, after nearly thirty some years, and my fears were confirmed."
"Is he going to be okay?" he said. I could feel his worry for his cub and his determination to do whatever he had to to protect him.
"I don't know," I said softly. "But he's strong. He seems to be taking all this better then you are."
I nudged him and he returned my smile.
"Just love him. That's all we can do right now."
We were getting into a good sized town when something reminded me.
"Joe told me to ask you how people reacted to Brian when you met him," I said.
"What do you mean?" he said.
"Well, from what Joe told me, he was usually the center of attention, without seeming to realize it," I condensed.
"I...I'm not sure," he began, deep in thought. "I was at this little bar. Think I was drawing a lot of attention myself," he grinned with a wink. "Then Brian walked in with some friends."
His brow furrowed.
"The bartender talked to me about him, but now that I think about it, only the people who knew him seemed to notice him."
I rubbed my chin.
"And when I started talking to him, no one else even tried to talk to any of us," he continued uncertainly.
"So he can project as well," I said softly.
"What?"
"In addition to be able to hold souls, he also seems to have some empathic abilities. Apparently more than some."
"Huh?"
"It's what allows him to learn things so quickly. It may explain how he's able to 'see' others' memories. The thing that worries me most is it deals mostly with emotions."
"And why does that worry you?" he asked.
"Joe told me that when he died, Brian just...shut everything out. That's why I couldn't feel him any more. It's only since he met you that he's started to let things through. But only just. If it strengthens when he changes, he may not be prepared for it."
"What can we do?" he asked.
"Not sure. You've already got him opening up."
"Not as much as you did," he said, looking pointedly at my crotch.
I roared with laughter, slapping his shoulder.
"But I think what he was doing was projecting his desire to be left alone. A normal person's gaze would just...skip right over him."
He watched the traffic intently.
"Now that you mention it, I could have sworn I felt him walk into the bar," he said finally, glancing at me.
I nodded.
"I think you broke through his...funk? He was hoping you'd notice him. Wouldn't be a surprise if he ends up stronger than me."
"Really?" he said, shock written across his face.
"Well, he's already doing things it took me centuries to control. The question is how much is under his conscious control."
"You lost me again," he said, shaking his head.
I place my hand on his arm and let him feel how much I loved him. He blushed, then his eyes widened.
"He can let others feel what he's feeling," I said cautiously. "But what if he was angry? I felt his rage when he was stabbed. Imagine him using that rage against someone else."
"Could he?" he said, gripping the steering wheel.
"He could. But the question is would he?"
"I...I don't know," he said, relaxing a bit. "From what I've seen, he's more interested in... disabling than actually harming anyone."
"Well, there you go. He's not really a violent person, even towards those who've harmed him. Just be sure not to piss him off."
"Easier said than done," he laughed as we pulled into a parking lot.
36
"Damn!" I said as I climbed out of the truck. The sprawling complex was bigger than some villages I've been through.
"You need to get out of your cave more often," he teased. "These things are all over the place. One stop shopping."
We each grabbed a cart and set out around the store.
"I want to get some of those power mixes. Lot of calories and protein in them and easily absorbed," I said.
He led the way to the pharmacy area.
A young man was scanning the back of one of the containers when we came around the corner. His mouth dropped open and he suddenly became very interested in the bottle. He was a younger man. At my age, aren't they all. Red tinted stubble roughened the line of his jaw. I could smell the spurt of lust rolling off of him. I scanned the shelves and found the one I'd had some luck with before and put all but one of the jugs in the cart.
"That should last the week," I said with a wink at the young man.
As we turned, I heard him grabbing the last jug from the shelf.
"Nice to know I've still got it," I chuckled when we were out of earshot.
"Would hope so. Unless Brian's ass snapped it right off," he said, digging his elbow into my ribs.
We were cruising through the dairy section when he stopped and looked at me.
"Have you talked to Sam?" he asked.
"I talked to him before I headed out here," I temporized. "He's up north, dealing with some of his own... issues. He knows what's going on here, more or less."
It took all my control to keep from laughing at the face the cashier made when we pushed our overladen carts into her lane.
"You sure we got enough?" he grinned as we began transferring the bags into the truck.
"We can always come back," I said wickedly. "I think someone would like that."
I indicated the pickup across the aisle from us where the young man who had trailed us through the whole store sat. He kept casting furtive glances toward us, blushing whenever our eyes would meet.
"You never give up, do you?" Paul chuckled.
"Hope I never do," I winked, shutting the hatch on the camper shell. I grabbed the carts and pushed them toward the corral across the aisle.
"Hope that works out for you," I said with a friendly grin.
"Thanks," he muttered, bright red and trying to scrunch down in his seat.
"Kind of cute," I said as I climbed into Paul's truck.
"Not my type," he grumbled.
"We'll have to see if that powder helps," I said with a laugh.
37
"So what you want to do?" I asked Jim archly.
"Actually, was hoping we could have a serious talk," he said as we walked back inside.
I studied his expression and nodded.
"Be right back," I said, leaving him with a confused look on his face.
I dug through my drawers and found a pair of sweats I could still fit into. I slipped them on and tugged on a sweatshirt. I grabbed Paul's terrycloth robe and went back into the livingroom.
"Here," I said, tossing him the robe.
"What's this for," he said, taking in my attire.
"Do you honestly think we can have a serious talk while we're naked?" I said.
"Huh," he grunted and slipped the robe on. He tied the belt around his waist and sat on the couch. I went to sit in one of the arm chairs, but he patted the couch beside him.
"It not that serious," he said with a smile. "I just wanted to thank you."
"For what?" I asked. "We haven't even done anything."
"Yet," he smiled. "But you have done something for Paul."
I bit back a smart remark and let him continue.
"Paul was with Rick a long time. In all honesty, he was like a second Papa to me and the other cubs Rick had later. It might have been good for us, but I'm not sure it was good for Paul. In some ways, I think he never really grew up. Maybe it was because how young he was when Rick changed him."
He looked at me expectantly and I nodded.
"Maybe he was scared of losing the special bond a cub has for his papa. When Rick died, he was lost. Went a little wild, I guess you could say."
"When you lose someone you love like that, life loses all meaning for a long time," I said softly.
He put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me to him.
"You sound like you know what he was going through," he said softly.
"The day we met was the one year anniversary of the day I lost my husband," I said softly.
"I'm sorry. Paul said you'd been through a lot, but didn't want to go into detail."
I hesitated a moment, looking into his emerald eyes. They were open and honest, revealing his concern and affection.
"A couple of years ago, I lost my entire family, the following year, I found out my husband had terminal cancer. Within nine months he was gone."
He eyes went wide in shock, then he pulled me close. He did his best to comfort me. Obviously he had learned from Paul, or they both learned from Rick.
"Some friends thought I ought to be over it and forced me to go out with them. Paul was there."
"Bet he was all over you," he chuckled.
"Not at all. He was quite understanding. Said he wanted to go home with me, even if we didn't have sex," I said, eying him askance.
"Really?!?" he exclaimed, his eyebrows flying up.
"Really. We went to sleep and when I woke up, he was gone."
"He left?" he asked in surprise.
"He was in the bathroom jacking off," I chuckled. "Said he had to in order to keep his hands off of me."
"I understand the allure," Jim leered.
"Something...happened over night that made me willing to accept what he offered. Of course, then I didn't know exactly what I was getting myself into," I grinned.
"Any regrets?" he asked softly.
"None at all," I said emphatically. "When I met him, I was just existing. He taught me how to live again. Perhaps I did the same for him," I reflected.
"I will tell you this," he said. "The Paul who came out to see me a couple of months ago was the Paul I remembered and more. He was positively giddy about you. He was so cute."
He laughed and I joined him. I leaned against him and he kissed my forehead.
"He's worried about you," he said.
"I know," I sighed. "But there's nothing we can do but wait and see."
Suddenly, my stomach rumbled.
He laughed.
"How the hell can I be hungry? I just finished a huge breakfast a couple of hours ago."
"You need to eat, though," he said, touch the tip of my nose.
"Are we done with the serious talk?" I asked.
"I think so. Why?" he said with a smile.
"Food's not the only thing I'm hungry for," I said, licking my lips.
"What you got in mind," he grinned.
"I'll meet you downstairs. I need to get some things," I winked.
With a laugh, he stood up, shedding the robe and heading for the stairs. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a few things. I had meant to use them with Paul, but....
I shoved everything into a bag and headed downstairs. Jim was waiting, sitting in the sling. He arched an eyebrow as I set the bag on the ground by him. I stripped my shirt off and pushed my sweats to the floor.
"Just lay back and let me take care of you," I said.
"I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you," he groused with a grin.
He laid back and closed his eyes until he heard a hissing sound and felt the coolness on his nipple.
"What the hell?" he said, eyes flying open.
"What?" I said innocently, licking the whipped cream from his chest. "You said I needed to eat. You just didn't say what."
I dipped my finger into the caramel sauce and touched it to his cheek, then bent to lick it off. I spread the sauce across his lips and he caught my finger, sucking it clean.
"Think I'm in the mood for a bear sundae," I whispered as I drizzled the sauce across his rust colored fur. I sat the empty jar down, grabbing the chocolate syrup. I pushed the tip of the bottle into his foreskin. He moaned as I filled his skin.
"Mmmm. Chocolate covered nuts," I chuckled as I coated his hairy sack, the syrup running down into his crack.
I scattered a handful of chopped nuts across his sticky torso. I grinned as I shook the can of whipped cream. I sprayed a dab on each nipple. He snickered as I filled his armpits, then piled the rest of the can around his crotch.
"Oh! One last thing," I said, holding up a small, red fruit. "Any idea how hard it is to find a cherry in this house?"
He roared in laughter, then groaned as I worked the cherry into his foreskin. I shoved my face into his chocolate covered crack, grunting like a pig in heat. I could feel his nuts smearing against my forehead as I licked at his tasty hole. I ran my hands across his belly, mixing the sauces into a soupy mess. I worked my way up, tasting the salty, chocolaty cream of his balls. I slurped up the mounds of cream coating his bush. I grabbed his erection in my sticky hand, my tongue probing his foreskin, rolling the cherry around his head. I took him into my mouth, inhaling the cherry from his musky folds.
"How about that? I sucked the cherry right out of you," I said, chewing on the fruit.
He chuckled.
"You really are a nut," he said, then moaned as I sucked his nuts into my mouth. My nose was pressed into his shaft, his pre-cum seeping down it. I pushed my chin into his taint as I hummed, setting my teeth vibrating against his nuts.
He began cursing and the sling jangled as he began shooting his load up his body, mixing with the topping.
"All good sundaes need some fresh cream," I growled, shoving my face into his fur, lapping up the sweetly flavored cum coating his torso. I licked my way up, climbing atop him, smearing the sticky mess between our fur covered bodies.
"You're a mess," he chuckled as I ate the melting cream for his pits.
"And I'm not done yet," I said, reaching back to grab his still hard dick. I aimed it at my hole and forced the sticky mass up inside me.
"Damn," he groaned. "How the hell can you still be so tight after Grandpapa fucked your ass last night."
"Clean living, I guess," trying to lick the sauce from my mustache.
"You? Clean?" he laughed, then pulled me down, licking my face while hunching up into me.
I writhed around on top of him, random bits of nuts grinding into my flesh. My tongue swirled around his nipple, then I bit down on it. With a howl he buck beneath me, blasting his load into my ass, eyes wide open, unseeing. My sticky dick spewed its own load, adding to the mess between our bodies.
"I hate to say this," he panted,gazing at me in wonder. "But I think I might be jealous of Paul."
I just laughed and peeled myself off of him, pulling him out of the sling.
"Jealousy is a petty emotion. You know he's always willing to share," I said as I led him to the shower.
"Thank goodness for that," he chuckled.