7
"Are you sure about this?" I said when we got to the funeral home.
"Not really," he said with a sad smile and opened the truck door.
We walked to the door and he paused, taking a deep breath. The tension was clear on his face as he walked inside.
A few people were standing in the foyer, talking quietly, seeming to not notice us. He appeared to know where he was going. He led the way into a room filled with chairs and somber people milling around.
"Why don't you wait here?" he whispered, the strain showing in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" I asked softly as I nodded.
He gave me a brittle smile.
"This is the same place where my family's was. And Joe's."
"Brian," I said, gripping his shoulder. "You don't have to do this."
"Yes, we do," he said with that curious echo he had acquired.
I slipped into one of the chairs in the back of the room, watching him stride down the aisle. About halfway down, he paused, his fists clenching. With a slight shudder he continued on. When he reached the front of the room he stopped. A petite lady with a halo of silver curls looked up, her face lighting up. She rose to her feet and he dropped to one knee to embrace her.
"What the fuck?" I thought. "She recognizes him, but doesn't seem to notice anything different!"
It was hard walking into that place again. So many painful memories and more than that. This time was worse because I was feeling everyone else's emotions as well. Wasn't as...difficult when we were shopping. The stench of grief hung so heavily in the air I could hardly believe no one else felt it.
I guess I understand why Grandpapa lives so far from people. I did my best to block it all out.
Instead, I focused on how I looked in the memory I had shared with Paul that morning. I had never been one to spend a lot of time looking in a mirror, and even if I had been, figured it was better to know how others saw me. Grandpapa had hinted at some of the things he thought I might be able to do. I just hope this works.
I left Paul sitting in the back row, his anxiety ringing in my mind no matter how hard I tried to block it out.
As I walked down the aisle, I was suddenly struck by a blast of disgust. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe's cousin, Ken. He had spent most of Joe's funeral making snide comments about my relationship with Joe. I had to throttle down my rising anger. Now was not the time to lose my composure.
I felt Joe trying to comfort me and I took a deep breath and continued on.
I reached the front of the room where she sat, looking forlornly toward the casket.
"Mary?" I said softly.
She turned and looked up at me...well, her eyes rested about level of my chest.
"Brian!" she exclaimed.
It worked. She was seeing what I wanted her to see.
She rose to give me a hug and I dropped down onto one knee. I might be able to make her see me as I wanted her to, but I'm not sure it would affect what she felt.
I expected grief as we touched, but strangely enough, she seemed more relieved than anything. Without meaning to, I saw the things her brother had done to her.
My anger rose again, and once more I had to thrust it down. Now was not the time.
"I'm so glad you could make it," she said.
Her arms tightened around me.
"Have you lost weight?" she asked, pulling back, concern written across her face.
"Not really," I said, swallowing a chuckle. "Actually, I've been putting a lot of weight in the last few months."
"Is everything okay?" she asked. "I called the house and the gentleman answering the phone said you weren't there."
"Yeah. Business has kept me out of town for the last couple of months. Got some friends to stay there and take care of things for me so it's lived in."
"When will you be back?" she asked.
"I'm not sure I will be," I said softly. "It's time."
"Past time," she said, touching my cheek. "He loved you so much."
"I know," I said with a smile. "And now I'm able to remember how lucky I was for what time we had. He will always be with me."
She hugged me tightly.
"Good-bye, Mary," Joe whispered in her ear.
She tensed and pulled back.
I smiled down at her.
"Take care of yourself," she said at last and I kissed her forehead.
I rose and strode toward the exit, then paused by where Ken sat, his sneer plastered across his face. It was reckless, but at that point I didn't care. I reached into his mind and ripped out his most intimate of secrets.
"I hear Tina had her baby. Congratulations," I said to him innocently. "Why didn't you bring her with?"
His face went white while his wife, Melissa, turned an angry glare towards him.
"How's that glass house?" I growled and stalked out of the room.
"What happened back there?" I asked as we headed back to the house...Mike and Cliff's, that is.
He had been walking up the aisle when he stopped the talk to someone. When he had turned back, his face was a frozen snarl. The couple he spoke to began arguing, the man trying to shush her.
By the time I got up, he was out the door. He was already in the truck, eyes closed, hands pressed against his temples.
"Which thing?" he asked, giving me a pained smile.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah...no...I don't know. Got a killer headache," he said. "Do...do you remember the night we met?"
"How could I forget?" I said with a sly grin.
"Did you notice anything...odd about how everyone else...interacted with me?"
"Or how they didn't interact with you?" I said as he nodded. "I had noticed it, but didn't really think anything of it until Grandpapa asked about it."
"I think that without even knowing it, I was...making everyone else ignore me."
"So how come I didn't?" I asked.
"Dunno. Maybe because you have senses than I couldn't begin to know. Maybe it was because I wanted you to notice me."
I reached over and rubbed his leg.
"Well, if I could do that subconsciously, I thought I might be able to make everyone see me as I wanted them to."
"So that's why no one noticed the changes in you."
He nodded and winced.
"Seems to take more out of me, though. My head is splitting."
"My poor cubby," I cooed. "But what about that guy?"
"Ken," he snarled. "Joe's cousin. Used Joe's funeral as a platform for his homophobia. I... picked up a tidbit about his mistress and I threw it in his face."
"Let me guess. That was his wife there with him."
"Yep," he said with a wicked grin.
"Damn, you can be brutal. Remind me not to piss you off."
"Hopefully, won't need to. Just take me home."