Well, looks like I'm FINALLY back! Whew! I am SO damn glad I can write this chapter! Whelp, so I don't get my sorry ass sued, here's a little disclaimer.
DISCLAIMER: I don't know if the BSB are gay, and this story is all made-up.
Told ya it was little! Enough talking, here it is!
Chapter 9-Choices
Kevin stared at the TV screen, trying to get his mind off his current problems. No such luck. The news was on, and the weather, sports, and other topics were already over. Howie sat next to Kevin, watching for the exact same reason. "Should we try and talk to them?" Howie asked. Just as the words left his mouth, a loud roar was heard and the sound of something slamming against a wall was heard, then crying.
"Maybe we should let them chill for a bit longer." Kevin suggested. Howie shrugged, sinking into the couch more.
"What's Brian doing?" Kevin asked.
"Last time I checked he was packing. He's hell bent on marrying LeighAnne. I tried to talk him out of it, but he keeps claiming he 'has' to for both of their own goods." Howie explained.
"Hold on Howie. I speak fluent Brian, and that needs to be translated: He feels really bad about earlier, but is too upset and depressed to try and fix anything, so he's basically throwing his life away and stepping on Nick in the process for some half-baked reason." Kevin said in one breath.
"Well, one of us has to....hey, isn't that that Colleen girl?!" Howie asked, pointing toward the TV screen. Kevin turned his attention at the news report.
"Colleen Hasuik was proclaimed dead this afternoon. Police found the remains of her body inside an old 1972 Ford pickup that was set on fire a mile from St. Mercy hospital. A note was found not too far from the scene of the crime that reads: 'This is only the beginning' The young girl's body was burned so severely that the only identification that could be used were dental records. In other news... Kevin reached over and turned off the TV numbly.
"How are we going to tell AJ?" Howie asked.
"AJ already knows." A voice cut in. Kevin and Howie turned to see AJ standing behind them, his eyes filled with unshed tears.
"AJ....." Kevin reached for AJ, but AJ shrugged him off and went into his room. Kevin sighed deeply, regretting the fight they had earlier.
"Howie, make sure that AJ is ok. I have to try and see if I can help Nick." Kevin ordered, feeling a need to check on him. Howie obediently watched AJ's door.
Kevin slowly made his way to Nick's bedroom. He tried the handle, finding it unlocked. He pushed the door open softly. Nick was laying face down on his bed, holding tightly to his pillow. He had torn off his white shirt and tear stains filled his pillow. Kevin sadly looked at the young man, wondering how all of this had happened. It seemed like only yesterday things were normal. He was happily married, AJ was possibly falling into love, Howie was looking for his 'senorita', Brian was going to marry LeighAnne, and Nick....Nick. Nick was a beautiful, shining young man that was light hearted and hadn't a care in the world. The more he thought, the more he realized that this was killing Nick. Nick had never had something like this happen to him. No wonder he freaked out.
Kevin stepped further into the room, letting his presence known. Nick listened warily, then sighed deeply. "Whoever you are just go away and leave me here." Nick choked out, clutching his pillow tighter.
"It's just me Nick" Kevin softly informed him. Without a word, Kevin moved to the side of the bed and sat next to his weeping friend. Nick switched Kevin for the pillow and held him tight. Kevin felt Nick's tears sliding down his arm and tried to imagine his pain. He finally leveled with Nick when he thought of himself in Nick's position and his wife in Brian's position. Kevin squeezed Nick tighter, wanting to take away his pain.
"What do I do Kev? I don't want to live anymore. I want to fucking blow myself into the next world. I want to die....I want to die......" Nick repeated over and over, sobbing louder. Kevin suddenly hated his cousin. 'How could he do this?' Kevin thought. 'WHY did he do this?' He needed to talk to Brian, but Nick came first right now.
"Nick, what he did to you was shitty. But I know Brian better than that. Nick, he's lying. I know for a fact you mean the world to him. Brian is scared right now. Honestly, I might have done the same thing to Kristen if I were in his shoes. He...no, NONE of us want to see you hurt. And you very well might die if you're with Brian...." "Kev, that's just it. I'm gonna die WITHOUT him." Nick sadly stated, putting his head in Kevin's lap. Kevin sighed, lightly brushing Nick's hair with his fingertips.
"Nick, sometimes in life we all have to make choices and deal with what's been handed to us. Right now, you've been handed something pretty shitty. Personally, I see life as a test. God puts people in bad predicaments to see how they handle each one. Brian handled his his own way. Now, his might not be as great as yours, and that's my point. If you truly do love him, you'll STILL be by his side, no matter what he does." Kevin said.
"What do you want me to do?! Jump into his arms?! Hello?! He fucking hates me!" Nick cried loudly, burying his face in Kevin's lap. Kevin sighed deeply.
"That's not what I mean. Trust me Nick, everything will work out in the end. Have I ever steered you wrong?" Kevin asked.
"Well, that one time you tried to get me to date Katy. God she was a hoar." Nick moaned. Kevin stifled a laugh, and patted Nick's head.
"Well, I'd better go check on AJ." Kevin said, starting to stand.
"Why? What's up with him?" Nick asked.
"You remember that girl he 'stalked'? Kevin asked.
"Who, Colleen? Yeah, I remember." Nick said slowly.
"Her body was found badly burned." Kevin said softly.
"Shit, you'd better go check on him." Nick said, turning back to his pillow. Kevin walked out of Nick's room and went to AJ's door. He knocked first, hearing nothing, and then walked in. AJ was staring at the ceiling. Kevin cautiously stood a few feet away, knowing AJ had a temper and if he was upset he would physically handle his problems. AJ didn't even look at Kevin, but did speak.
"Why, Kev? I finally found someone I can really be with, and God decides to take it away from me." AJ stated coldly, never breaking his gaze.
"You shouldn't blame all your problems on God. It was just her time...." "NO! It wasn't her time because she was murdered, damn it!!" AJ screamed, now staring straight at Kevin with venom in his eyes.
"AJ, look..." "When do you care all of a sudden? You've never cared about me before!"
"Wait a second! Yes I have!" Kevin defended.
"No, you haven't. It's been this way since all of us met. Either you'd help Nick or your cuzzy Brian." AJ spit at him.
"Nick was only 12 and Brian IS my cousin, Howie was old enough to take care of himself and you never needed help..."
"No, that's what YOU think. I was only 15! We're you totally independent at 15? Hell no! I would always be depressed, and no one cared.
Why should they?" AJ asked, his voice softening.
"Because....because I was wrong." Kevin mumbled.
"Excuse me? Did Kevin Scott Richardson, Mr.. I-am-an-anal-old-man-that-is-always-right is now saying he's wrong?!" AJ asked jokingly.
"Yes. I was wrong, I should have helped you more. But I'm here now, and you don't have to go through this alone. We'll all help you through." Kevin stated.
"Well, it's too late for me, but I'll be damned if it's too late for Nick and Brian. Kev, they need to be together. What are we going to do?" AJ asked.
"Brian is determined to wed LeighAnne. All we can do now is try and talk to him, not condemn him, but try and make him realize what a huge mistake he's making." Kevin said.
"Well, I need a shower. When is the wedding, Thursday?" AJ asked.
"Shit. That means we only have two days." Kevin said, standing up to leave.
"Kev....I'm sorry about the fight. But I can still kick your ass....sort of." AJ said.
"Well, that was a half-assed apology if I've ever heard one." Kevin joked. AJ winked at him, going into the bathroom. Kevin chuckled and went into the living room to relax.
"Hey Kev, Brian wants to talk to you." Howie stated, walking past him.
"What the hell do I look like? Papa smurf?" Kevin asked out loud. Howie laughed. Kevin wearily went into Brian's room. Brian was nonchalantly folding some shirts and whistling 'Whistle While You Work.'
"How corny can you get?" Kevin asked, sitting down on the bed.
"I don't know. I can dress up as Mickey or Donald duck." Brian said, using his famous Donald duck voice. Kevin smiled at his antics.
"Well, what is it you need to talk about, oh web-footed one?" Kevin joked.
"No, that right there was corny....anyways, I need you to be my best man." Brian stated.
"Oh, what about Nick?" Kevin asked sarcastically. Brian gave him 'the look' and went back to folding pants.
"Really, what about him?" Kevin asked.
"What is there to say? Shit happened, now we deal with it." Brian stated firmly.
"So, that's all it is? Just one big 'ol thing that happened?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah, something like that." Brian said, his voice almost whispering. Kevin picked up quickly on his tone and lunged at it.
"You don't really want to marry her, do you?" Kevin asked bluntly.
"Yes, I do. What's wrong with that? She's a very nice WOMAN, and it's just fine." Brian stated.
"Do you love her?" Kevin asked.
"I'm marrying her." Brian said.
"That's not what I asked." Kevin stated.
"What is it with you and Howie asking me that?!" Brian exclaimed.
"Because we know you don't." Kevin said.
"Look, it's better this way. It IS the only way. I want to live...I want him to live."
"And spend the rest of his life alone and thinking you hate him?! He won't live! He'll.....oh fuck it. Listen, and sit down." Kevin said, patting the mattress. Brian sat down.
"My father died about 9 years ago. I was 19 then and this was before I met the other guys. They told me he had cancer only a couple of months before he died. The day before his death, my family went to the hospital to visit him. All I can remember is crying. When it was my turn to see him, I tried so hard not to cry, but I couldn't help it. He tried to comfort me by using the old 'we'll be together in heaven' thing, but it just didn't work. I wanted him to see my success, be at my wedding, see my children.....I couldn't be comforted. Until he told me this: It isn't how long you live, but how you live. And that is my most held belief today."
"you see, Brian, no matter what I say, you're going to do whatever you want. But just remember what I said here when you're on that alter, staring at your future wife, and then you'll understand EXACTLY what I'm saying." Kevin said, standing up and taking his leave. Brian slowly stood up to finish packing. As he was going to the closet to get more of his clothes, he saw a picture on the dresser of him and Nick standing in front of a bunch of flowers at Kevin's wedding with their arms around the other's shoulders. For the first time, Brian let himself cry.