Diclaimer: I do not know 'NSync, and this syory does not imply anything on their beliefs or sexual preferences, as this story is completly fictional.
Note: This is my first story, and well, I'm kinda nervous as to how you guys will like it or dislike it. This chapter is basically an introduction into the character I have created, and so has not yet gone into the whole plot of the story. I am Canadian, and therefore some of the words are spelt differently, such as color is spelt colour, so don't think I have bad spelling, because I don't. I ask of anyone that reads this that you e-mail me, whether you liked it or not, at wmj29@hotmail.com Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the story.
Starting Over By: Jordan Chapter 1
"...and so, I pass to you, the future, a group of amazingly talented individuals, who I am sure will better our world with their ideas, their enthusiasm and their kindness. I have been privileged to see these young people prosper through the three years I have been fortunate enough to share with them; and so, without further ado, I give to you, the class of 2000. Good luck in your future endeavours. We will forever hold you in our hearts, through your hardships and successes. Good luck, and have fun."
The speech my old principle had given at my graduation not two months ago still rang in my ears, as the heartfelt words that had been spoken gave me courage. I sat in the plane, heading to my future home of Toronto, Ontario.
I didn't know anyone in Toronto, except a few distant relatives that I had only met when I was five years old. I looked forward to moving to Toronto, because it was a chance for me start over. All my life I had known I was gay, but I was unable to tell anyone except for my best friend.
Growing up on a small island off of the Pacific Coast of British Columbia was hard. The island was sustained by logging and fishing, and with it, was a very close minded society. Anything different was frowned upon, and being gay was the worst crime imaginable to these people. So, I suffered alone through my adolescent years, years I was eager to forget.
I stared out the small window of the plane as we passed over the Great Lakes. Lake Superior, with it's magnificent crystal waters should have instilled a moment of awe in me, but instead it welled up in me the floods that I had been trying for so long to hold back. The incredible weight of my secret was baring down on me, and I needed some form of escape.
I sat with the tears gently caressing the soft skin of my cheeks, warming the skin with their heat. As they gently fell onto the hand I used to hold my chin up and trickled down the outside of my forearm to my elbow, the guy sitting next to me glanced at me.
"What's the matter? Do you want to talk about it?", he asked gently.
"I don't think it's anything you'd understand." I said, looking in the other direction, not wanting to talk to a complete stranger.
"Okay." he said, dropping the subject, seeing that it distressed me.
"We are beginning our descent into Toronto, ladies and gentlemen. In preparation for landing, we ask that you stow all carry on baggage underneath the seat in front of you, or in the overhead bins. We also ask that you put table trays and seat backs in an upright and locked position. On behalf of the entire crew aboard Air Canada's flight 1609 from Vancouver to Toronto, we thank you for flying with us, and look forward to serving you in the nearer future. Have a nice day here in Toronto for those of you that will have reached your final destination. For those of you travelling on..." I tuned out the rest of her speech, as it did not concern me.
As I stepped out of the Toronto International Airport, that all too familiar feeling of loneliness started creeping over me. How can I feel so alone in a city this size? It's funny, but sometimes even when you're in a room surrounded by people, you can feel so incredibly alone that it hurts.
I hailed a cab, and waited for it to come to a stop in front of me.
"Where to, kid?" the cabby asked.
I gave him the address and slouched in the backseat. As I looked out over the city, a feeling of starting anew came over me, and the loneliness quickly faded.
The ride was not a long one, but long enough for me to fall asleep in the backseat of the warm cab. I awoke with a jolt, as we came to a stop outside of my mother's friend's house that I would call home until I found a place of my own. I paid the cabby, with a generous tip. I don't know why I tipped the cabby so much, maybe it was because he didn't ask any questions. Maybe it was because I somehow found comfort in that cab, but it didn't matter, I had arrived at my destination for the day. A destination that would soon bring me to the rest of my life.
I hauled my three suitcases and carry on on to the front steps and rang the doorbell. As I stood waiting for an answer, I looked around at the modest house, nestled behind a small garden of roses. The scent of the last roses of the year perfumed the air, and gave me comfort. I found memories and sadness in the roses, thinking of my mother's vast garden at home, with it's white winter roses, that smelled so sweet in the winter months, and it's wide array of other roses in the summer, all surrounded by rhododendrons of varying hues and colours. The garden glowed during the summer, and gave off a slight warmth to the eye during the winter months.
Footsteps came running down a flight of stairs, as a girl of about my age answered the door. She looked at me timidly, and then at my bags.
"Oh! You must be Sebastian King. You're staying with us until you find your own place, right?" she asked starting to get hyper, the way teenage girls are famous for.
"Yeah, that's me." I asked, beginning to wonder at my mother's motives for setting me up in this house with a girl about my age that was really pretty.
I wouldn't put it past my mother to try and play match maker. My lip started to curl slightly at the thought, when an older lady came to the door and smiled warmly.
"Hello Sebastian. It's so nice to see you again. Please, won't you come in?" she asked in her kind, motherly tone.
I smiled back shyly, trying to get the thoughts of my mother's ulterior motives out of my head and deal with the task at hand. I stepped into the lavishly decorated entrance, and placed down my bags.
"Oh just leave your bags there, come have some coffee or something with Kate and I. I haven't seen you since you were this big." the older lady said to me, gesturing to a height of about two and a half feet.
I left my things in the entrance and followed the two women in to the kitchen. The kitchen was spacious, and well equipped with everything you'd need for cooking a gourmet meal. I sat down at the kitchen table, and gazed out to the backyard. A small boy was playing with a golden cocker spaniel, whose shaved coat was gleaming in the August sun. They wrestled around playfully, bringing back memories of my little brother, when we used to play like that. A smile crossed my face, before a tear slowly made it's way between the barrier of long, thick eyelashes surrounding my eyes. I quickly brushed it away, but not soon enough, as Kate, who had been avidly studying me, saw it. She frowned slightly, but left it alone.
"What can I get you Sebastian?" the older lady asked.
"Um, do you have any hot chocolate?" I asked, not wanting tea, and not liking coffee.
"We actually just ran out, but I've got some hot apple cider here if you'd like some. Your mother told me you loved it years ago, and I fished out my recipe this morning and made up a batch."
I looked up and smiled. "I'd love some, Mrs. Harris" I said, thankful that I would not have to endure a cup of coffee.
She smiled and said: "You can call me by my first name, Maddison, if you want, but most people just call me Maddie." as she ladled out a cup of hot apple cider for me.
"Maddie. I like that." I said, more thinking out loud than anything.
She smiled, and handed me the cup. I took a sip of the scalding hot liquid, and savoured it's aroma and sweet taste. I had always had a taste for sweet things, and this was no exception. I looked down into my cup, watching the swirling steam rise out of the liquid, and drift up towards my face, warming it. I sighed, and looked back out to the yard to watch the young boy.
"That's Matt, my adopted little brother." Kate said, noticing who I was watching.
I looked at her and smiled.
"He reminds me of my little brother." I said, with tears forming once more in my eyes. "Why are you crying? Do you miss him that much? You've only been gone a day." Kate said in her deep, smooth voice.
"No, he's been gone for a year and a half." I said, tears starting to run freely down my face.
"What do you mean? Where'd he go?" Kate asked innocently.
"He died of pulmonary cancer." I said, a flood of tears running their worn path down my face.
"I'm so sorry. That must have been rough." Kate said, I could see that she regretted bringing up the topic.
"It's okay. I have to deal with these things." I said, reassuring her that it was all right to speak of my little brother. "Him and I used to wrestle outside at home like Matt and that dog. I'd always let him win. I remember seeing his little face light up with every victory. It was worth the shame of loosing to a nine year old." I said, a smile spreading over my lips.
Maddie stood up to go do some dishes that were in the sink as I finished my drink, and sucked on the cinnamon stick that had been sitting in the warm liquid.
"Your room is upstairs. Third door on the left if you want to get settled in." Maddie offered, with tears forming in her own eyes. I gave her a hug, and said:
"It's okay Maddie, it was a year and a half ago." I tried to convince her, but failing to convince myself that it really was okay. The pain was still fresh in my heart, and it burned with a fire inside of me.
I decided to change the subject to get away from my pain, and everyone else's.
"There wouldn't happen to be a phone jack in my room, would there?" I asked.
"Actually, there is. Is there someone you wanted to call?" Maddie asked, rubbing her eyes.
"No, but I wanted to check my e-mail. Do you have the internet?" I asked.
"Yes. Go head upstairs." She said, still drying her eyes.
I walked over to my suitcases, and dragged them up the stairs. I found my room easily, it was a relatively spacious room, not quite the size of the room I had back home, but still, it was of a good size. It had a desk in one corner, and a bed in the centre, backed up against the wall. There was a picture of the B.C. Coastal mountains above the bed, and I smiled knowing that Maddie had done this just for me, to bring a sense of homeliness to my room. There was also a leather couch in the opposite corner from the desk, that was worn in and looked very comfortable. I dragged my stuff over to the couch and the bed, and started to unpack.
I set up my lap top on the desk, and searched around for the phone jack. I hooked up my computer, and turned it on. I sat down at the desk, watching my computer boot up. I was soon on the internet, checking my Hotmail account. There were a few messages from friends back home, but there was mostly just junk mail. I sorted through the e-mails, and then composed a message.
I sat there for a few minutes afterwards, thinking about writing a story to get my thoughts out.
When I looked up from my computer, it was dark outside, and I was hungry. I decided to venture downstairs, and look around. There was a note on the counter that read:
Sebastian,
Sorry to leave you alone on your
first night, but we had something
we had to do, so make yourself at home.
We'll be back around eleven.
Maddie
I decided to go out and see what there was around the neighbourhood. I grabbed my coat, and headed outside. As I walked down the road, people passed by, not even noticing me. Nothing was familiar, and it scared me. I walked a little further, until I smelt the garlicky aroma of Italian cuisine. The rich flavours wafted over me, and I followed the smell to a little Italian restaurant. I walked inside, and waited to be seated by the young hostess. She smelt of rosemary and garlic, with a hint of jasmine, quite the interesting combination. She seated me close to a window, and gave me a quick smile before heading off to take up her post by the door.
I glanced over the menu she had left for me, and soon found my favourite pasta, fettuccine alfredo. The waiter soon appeared next to me, with a somewhat overworked spirit about him. He smiled just the same, but the smile was weary and tired.
"What can I get you, sir?" he asked, with a soft, yet powerful voice.
"Fettuccine alfredo and a glass of water, please." I responded.
"I'll be right back with your water." he said as he took the menu from me and walked off.
I sat, wallowing in my thoughts and memories. I thought of my classes that would soon be starting, my little brother, and of my need for a job. I decided tomorrow I would go look for a job and also for a place to stay. I liked Maddie and Kate, but I didn't want to live off of them, it just didn't seem right.
My pasta came, and I ate without really tasting the magnificent flavours that I usually savoured with every bite. I finished my meal, and paid for it. I had eaten quickly, being alone with no one to talk to. Walked out the door into the now cooling air of the night sent a chill over my body, and I wrapped my jacket around me tightly. It was starting to get a bit windy, but I felt nothing as I was lost in my thoughts once more.
I arrived home, and walked up to my room. Ever since I was thirteen, I had developed a habit of sitting outside at night listening to my discman, and singing. Tonight was no different, and my mood was set on Natalie Imbruglia. I sang softly, and quietly at first, not wanting to wake neighbours or Kate and Maddie. I was in the middle of the second verse of Smoke, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, causing my discman to skip. I turned around to see Kate staring at me.
"Sorry, but I just wanted to come and see how you were doing. You weren't in your room, so I came down to the kitchen. I spotted you out here, and wondered what you were doing. What are you doing? It's late." she explained herself as my heart rate returned to normal.
"I'm just thinking. This is how I think when I have something on my mind. It's weird, but singing seems to help me." I said.
"Well, I always talk to someone. So why don't you try it. I swear I won't laugh or judge you or anything. Just talk and I'll listen. It always helps me." she said, while sitting down next to me on the edge of the deck.
"I was just thinking about my life. It's been kind of hard up to now."
"Why has it been so hard?"
"Well, because of losing a little brother to cancer, and the fact that I'm...and other things." I found myself almost telling my well guarded secret to Kate, after only knowing her for a few hours.
"There's more on your mind though, isn't there?" she said.
"I just feel so lonely. I don't know anyone here."
"I'll take you out some places this week. Maybe you'll meet someone. Your classes start soon, don't they?"
"Yeah, in a week."
"What university are you going to?"
"I'm in the University of Toronto's school of business. Are you going to school?"
"No, I'm an aspiring singer." she said with a giggle. "I'm working on a demo cd with some friends."
"That sounds cool. Can I hear you sometime?"
"Sure, maybe sometime this week. I've got a gig down at this club downtown.
It's not a very nice club, but it's money and exposure."
A silence fell between us, both in our own thoughts.
"Well, you're looking for somewhere to stay aren't you? Do you want me to come with you? I know some really cool places."
"Okay, thanks. I wouldn't even know where to start. How about tomorrow?"
"Okay, well it's kind of late, so I'm gonna get some sleep so I won't be tired for our big day." she said with a grin.
I awoke to the sun shining on my face, and Kate standing laughing at me as I covered my eyes from the bright light.
"Do you always sleep so late? It's one o'clock in the afternoon. We're never gonna have time to find you a descent place." she said.
"MMMmmmph." was the only sound to escape my lips.
"Come on, get up. Mom's got lunch ready downstairs."
I sat up, and rubbed my eyes, getting rid of the crusty sleep that had formed in the corners of my eyes. I pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a navy blue Nike t-shirt. I stumbled down the stairs, only half awake.
"Morning Sebastian." came Maddie's voice from the kitchen as she heard me coming.
"Morning" I grumbled out.
Maddie laughed as I plopped myself down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. She placed in front of me a ham sandwich and a glass of orange juice. I took a bite of the ham sandwich, and then devoured the rest.
"Hungry?" Kate's voice came from the doorway.
I looked up at her and nodded.
"Well, hurry up, `cause I'm not gonna wait all day for you." she said with a smile.
I nodded, and then finished what was left of my sandwich. I washed it all down with the glass of orange juice, and then went upstairs to get a shower.
As the hot water cascaded over my body, an unbelievable sense of relaxation came over me. I leaned against the wall of the shower, and closed my eyes, letting the water run it's course over my body. I opened my eyes, and looked down over my body. It had been a month since I had been to a gym, and the effects were starting to show. My usually hard stomach had a soft layer of flesh growing over it. I'll have to ask Kate if there is a gym near by.
I was awoken from my trance by a pounding on the door.
"Hurry up! I've been waiting for a half an hour already." I heard Kate yell through the door.
I started to laugh as I turned off the water, and opened the shower curtain.
I started drying my hair with he towel in the steamy room. I wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the door to go to my room. There stood Kate. She stared me up and down, and then turned a deep shade of scarlet. I laughed, and turned a little pink myself. I turned away to go to my room.
"I'll be five minutes." I said over my shoulder.
Ten minute later, I appeared downstairs, ready to go.
"You coastal people have no concept of time, do you?" Kate remarked sarcastically.
"That's because we aren't as uptight as you city folk." I said, trading sarcastic remarks, tit for tat.
"Let's go." she said, going out the door and heading to her mom's car.
"Mom said we could take her car. She doesn't need it today. It's her baking day."
"Her baking day?" I said in a questioning tone.
"Yeah, she's old fashioned. I don't really mind though, and neither will you when we get home to warm cookies and milk tonight." she said as she started the car.
We drove down many side streets and avenues, looking at neighbourhoods and apartments.
"Well what is it you're looking for exactly?" Kate asked, starting to get annoyed with how picky I was being.
"Something kind of like a town house." I said.
"Why didn't you say so before. I've got the perfect one for you. My friend and I used to go house hunting when we got bored, and we came across this one that's so nice and it's a two minute walk from a subway station." she said while pulling a u-turn.
Within five minutes, we had pulled onto a street that was shaded over by tall oak and maple trees. The maples reminded me of the one we used to have in our yard back home before we cut it down to make room for mom's ever expanding garden.
"Here we are." she said while pulling over.
"This one? It must cost a fortune." I said, looking at the town house.
"Actually, it doesn't cost that much, comparatively. Just look at the inside before you pass judgment, okay?" she said, trying to get me to look inside the house.
"All right." I said as I opened my door.
We walked up the short flight of seven steps and knocked on the door. An old woman appeared at the door.
"Can I help you?" she asked in a frail voice.
"Um, yeah. My friend here is looking for a place. This place used to be for rent, is it still?" Kate asked, obviously experienced in house hunting.
"Well, yeah, but we've had some people come through here who scared me, so I'll have to ask you to wait a second so I can get my son to give you a tour." the old lady said, as she disappeared to find her son. A minute later, a large man appeared in the doorway and smiled.
"You'll have to excuse my mom, she's had a few experiences with people trying to get her to throw in extra stuff and she doesn't want to deal with it anymore. Come on in." the guy said, opening the door more to let them in.
"Thanks." Kate said, smiling at the guy.
"Don't mention it." he said, smiling at Kate, obviously checking her out.
We walked into the entrance and looked around. It was poorly lit, but had a cozy feeling about it. We walked through a doorway to into a living room. It had a few chairs around, and a couch in front of a small entertainment system.
"Does it come furnished or anything?" I ventured, only having a few chairs and a couch that mom would send out after I found a place.
"Um, some of these will stay. All the appliances will stay, but that's about it." the guy said, still looking at Kate as she moved around the room, looking at paintings and stuff on the walls.
We walked through another doorway, into the kitchen and then around to the other rooms. I moved next to Kate and whispered:
"I like it, but how much does it cost?" always careful not to get myself into something I couldn't afford.
"How much?" Kate asked confidently.
"Um, we're asking 850 a month, but for you, we could drop it a bit." he said, flirting with Kate.
"Get it down." I whispered in Kate's ear, not wanting to pay that much.
"Does that come with water, electricity and all the rest?" she asked, batting her eyelashes a bit for his benefit.
"Um, I guess so." he said, a bit unsure.
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"A yes."
"How about 700 a month?" Kate pushed on.
"700! I don't think we can go that low with electricity and all that." he said.
"That's too bad. Oh well, guess we'll just be looking somewhere else then, Sebastian." she said, turning and giving me a look that said: go with it.
We started to make our way to the door as the guy said: "How about 775?"
"700."
"750"
"715"
"735 and that's as low as I'll go." the guy said.
Kate brushed back her hair, pushed down her jeans a bit to expose the bottom of her stomach, and pushed out her hips.
"720"
"Fine." the guy said, after a slight hesitation. Kate's body had obviously won him over.
"Good." I breathed out, wanting the place for my own. I gave Kate a quick hug, and she giggled.
"When can I move in?" I asked.
"The first of September. Bring your rent money." the guy said, angered by the fact that he had come down so low, just because of Kate. He stomped off, and slammed the door.
"Oooh! He's mad! Was it something I said?" Kate chimed, laughing a little.
"Thank you so much! Come on. Let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"We're going out to have a celebratory dinner. For your victory. Do you think Maddie is done her baking? I want to take her out too." I said, overjoyed with the wonders Kate had performed.
"Probably. She won't let you pay though." Kate laughed out.
"Well, you and I will just have to play a little game of pick pocket now won't we." I smiled at her.
"Guess so." she said, smiling back.
We jumped into the car, and went home. Maddie was just finishing taking a batch of cookies out of the oven when we pulled up.
"Hey Maddie. Are you done your baking?" I asked.
"Yeah, but I haven't done the dishes yet." She said.
"Well leave them and come on." I demanded of her.
"What? Where are we going?" she asked in confusion.
"You'll see, but you might want to take off your apron." I said, pointing at her flour covered apron.
She took it off, and then began to move to the door. She stopped short of the door, and reached onto the table beside the door for her purse.
"What if Matt calls? He's at his friends house tonight." she said, starting to think of problems that might arise from their impromptu excursion.
"He'll be fine, mom. Come on." Kate called from outside.
"Where's my purse?" she asked, looking at us suspiciously.
"I don't know." I said smiling.
"Well, I'm not leaving without it, so hand it over."
I rolled my eyes, and then handed it over to her. Kate gasped, feigning innocence. Maddie looked into her purse, and didn't see her wallet.
"Now I need my wallet back." she said, crossing her arms.
Kate and I smiled at each other and then she handed Maddie back her wallet.
"Good, now we can go."
Kate kept her grin.
"Where's a nice place to eat in this hick town?" I asked, reversing the roles in the car.
"I'll get us to a nice place to eat." Kate said as she turned left.
"What's this all about?" Maddie asked, still confused as to the purpose of this expedition.
"Well, your daughter here found me a great place, and she got the guy to throw in electricity and water and everything. Plus, she got him to come down one hundred and thirty dollars a month."
"How in the Hell did you do that?" Maddie said, shocked as to her daughter's hidden talent.
"MOM! You've never said Hell in your whole life. Why are you saying it now?" Kate said, shocked.
"I don't know. It just came out. But how did you do it?" Maddie persisted.
"She seduced him!" I laughed out.
"You did WHAT?" Maddie yelled.
"Calm down mom. He's joking. I just teased him a bit." Kate said, laughing at the memory of the guy's face and at her mother's reaction.
"Don't scare me like that Sebastian. I have a delicate heart." Maddie said, trying to calm her heart beat.
"Sorry, it was a joke. But you should have seen her in action. She was incredible. The guy was practically drooling." I teased, but feeling a little guilty. Kate and Maddie both just laughed. We sat in silence until we got to the restaurant.
The restaurant was a nice little bistro, and as we made our way inside, I could smell the pepper steaks being grilled in the kitchen. We were seated, and I ordered a bottle of white wine.
As the waiter came back, Kate asked: "Why'd you pick that one?"
"My dad used to own the winery, and I love this wine." I said, as I nodded to the waiter that he had in fact brought the right bottle of wine, a Gewürztraminer from a B.C. winery called Sumac Ridge Estate Winery.
I sipped the small amount he placed in my glass, savouring the potent wine on my tongue, while breathing in through my teeth to increase the taste. I nodded after my tasting, and the waiter filled the ladies glasses.
"Your dad owned a winery? He must be rich!" Kate said.
"He's well off, but not rich." I said, smiling at her.
"Well, I must say, you sure know a good wine. This is excellent!" Maddie said, as she took another sip.
I smiled at her, thinking she's gonna be drunk by the time we leave. No wonder there's no alcohol in the house. I had searched last night, craving something to clear my mind.
Our meals came, and we ate quietly, enjoying the flavours, and our third bottle of wine.
"There's something I want to tell you guys." the wine had loosened my tongue, and lulled me into a comfort zone.
"What's that?" Kate said.
"Well, I hope you guys don't mind, but I thought you should know."
"Well, what is it? Spit it out." Maddie said, obviously under the full effect of the wine.
"Well, I'm...well...I'm gay." I said, looking up at them timidly.
"You're WHAT?"
To be Continued.
so? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Why? PLease e-mail me and tell me what you think at wmj29@hotmail.com Thanks.