Tom smiled and hugged me. He surprised me when his left hand grabbed my ass while he shoved his tongue in my mouth. I wasn't expecting that kind of greeting. He must have forgotten that we were in a hallway at school. He broke our kiss and said, "Sorry, I couldn't stop myself."
"It's okay." His face was far too close to mine and the look in his eyes told me he was less than a second away from leaning in for another kiss. I was having déjà vu. I stepped back just as his head moved forward. "You're so sorry about it that you want to do it again?" I teased.
He blushed. "You were standing too close."
"Oh, so it's my fault?"
"Isn't it always?"
That question made me feel even better. I think my day could have ended right then and I would have gone to sleep without having to battle any demons. I loved it when he joked with me without screening his words and worrying about hurting my feelings. The smile on his face told me that he wasn't afraid I might believe everything was my fault. It was like going back to the way we were before he found out about me hurting myself. "You're in a good mood," I said. "Are you off of punishment?"
He laughed. "No, but I might as well be. My aunt called this morning and said my grandmother was sick. My mother is flying out to see her."
I folded my arms and asked, "Shouldn't you be a little sad that your grandmother is sick?"
"I am, but my lust for you is masking it." He leaned in and whispered, "I have plans to take you home tonight."
I was still stuck on his situation. "Your mother didn't want to take you with her?"
"No. She isn't sure how long she'll be gone and she doesn't want me to miss too many days of school. She expects my father to keep an eye on me." Tom cleared his throat. "My father already told me he'll be late getting home tonight. I'm supposed to take the bus home and stay there, but he forgot to say no company."
"I'm sure your mother made the `no company' part pretty clear. She doesn't want you near me right now."
"Yeah, but I want to be near you," he winked and I felt a nervous tingle shoot through my body.
I knew I was blushing. Tom was thinking the same dirty thoughts that I was thinking. I wanted to rub against him, with no clothes between us. I couldn't describe what it was like to continually want to be with him so badly. My love for him infected every part of my being and caused me to happily do things I shouldn't do, like plan on going to his house when I knew he was specifically banned from seeing me outside of school.
I thought about Matt and remembered that we had made plans to meet up after school. "Matt and I are supposed to be hanging out today."
"I'm sure he'll understand," Tom said.
I wasn't so sure. Matt was having a rough time and I saw through his lies and odd behavior to the hurt kid trying to hide inside him. He was in a bad place. I knew it wasn't my responsibility to help him, but I felt like I owed it to him. He had opened my eyes to so many things in my life and I wanted to return the favor.
The bell rang and Tom kissed me on my cheek and said he'd see me at lunch. I daydreamed through a few classes then went to lunch. I sat at our usual table and waited for Tom to arrive.
James sat next to me. He patted me on my head and asked, "How are you doing today?"
"I'm fine."
"That's good." He ran his fingers down my face so quickly that it was almost like it never happened, but it did catch my attention. I looked at him. "Billy has it in for your friend," he warned. "That kid really got under Billy's skin yesterday. He doesn't even let you get to him like that and he hates you." James smirked. "But I kind of like you so I've done something to make your life easier. You can thank me later," he said. He stood. "See you around, Sammy."
I had decided that James wasn't all bad, but Billy couldn't be redeemed. James had his moments when he did unexpectedly nice things, like stepping up and ending the fight between Billy and Matt. If he wasn't friends with Billy, James would probably be an okay guy.
James was gone less than a minute when Billy stood across from me and glared at me. "Tell your friend I'm looking for him."
Tom appeared next to Billy and said, "I heard an interesting story today." Billy jumped a little. Tom sat his tray on the table, but he remained standing next to Billy. "Billy, I'm tired of playing this game and I finally know how to make you go away."
"You can't blackmail me with that secret."
"I'm not talking about that," Tom said. "I know something else now."
"What do you know?"
"I know that there is a video of you doing something you shouldn't be doing, or should I say someone?" Tom raised his eyebrows and said, "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Who knew you and James were such good friends?"
"How would you" Billy turned and scanned the room for someone. "That son of a bitch!" he shouted. Billy ran towards James and James ran out of the cafeteria.
Tom finally sat down. "I think James likes you," he said.
"Look at me. Can you blame him?" I joked.
Tom laughed. "No, I can't blame him. It must be obvious to everyone that I'm a lucky guy. Who wouldn't want to be in my shoes?"
"My point, exactly."
"Speaking of points, he made a point of letting me know that he did this for you and not for me or Matt."
"What did he do?"
Tom glanced at my tray and I took the hint and started eating. I waited for him to tell me what James had done, but he seemed to be content watching me eat. A few minutes later, I watched Billy and James walk back in the cafeteria. Tom followed my gaze and commented, "I guess they can't stay mad at each other."
"I guess not." I paused and watched the two of them as they strolled through the lunch line and walked to their usual table. James must have lied about his involvement. There was no way Billy would forgive someone for betraying him, not even James. I was dying to know what Billy and James had done. I casually asked, "So what was Billy caught on tape doing?"
Tom smiled, "He gave James a blow job and James recorded part of it with his phone."
"Is Billy"
Tom read my thoughts and answered my question before I had the chance to spit it out. "No. He's not. It was a one time thing and he was blitzed when he did it."
I didn't want to talk about Billy that long so I changed the subject and told Tom I was worried about Matt but he warned me not to bring myself down while I was trying to pull Matt up. He said he liked Matt and all, but if he had to decide between the two of us, my mental well being was always more important to him than Matt's. Lunch was good because Tom and I were unguarded around each other. He didn't baby me and I didn't bash myself.
Matt was waiting by my locker at the end of the day. "I have some bad news," he said.
"What?"
"I can't hang out with you tonight. Mrs. Washington left me a message saying that she wanted to have a family game night."
"And I'm not invited?"
"She's trying to get the family to bond with me and I think she's trying to get me to bond with them. I have to applaud her efforts but she has to know it won't work. You can't force a bunch of strangers together and expect an instant family. I need more time to warm up to them." He paused. "And of course you're invited, but I'd like to do this on my own."
I tried to suppress my grin, but I couldn't. "It's fine."
"Try not to look so happy about it!"
"I'm sorry. It's just that Tom invited me over after school and"
"And you were going to try to ditch me because you'd rather spend time with your boyfriend than hang out with a loser like me?"
"You're not a loser."
"Yeah, whatever." He tapped me on my shoulder and said, "Tell Charlie I said hello."
"Okay."
Matt walked away and James walked over. "Hey Sam."
"Hey."
"Don't you want to thank me now?"
"Uh yeah. Thanks for what you did."
He hugged me and held me close. "You smell good," he whispered. I swear he planted a quick kiss on my neck when he pulled away. "Things were getting out of control so I had to put an end to it. Billy thinks Sarah stole my phone and sent the video to Tom. He has the biggest crush on her so he'll forgive her by tomorrow. I just wanted you to know that it was me, not Sarah. She's just the fall guy."
"Why?"
"I just told you he'll be more forgiving if he thinks it's her. He'd kill me if he knew it was me."
"No. Why did you do this for me?"
"Isn't it obvious?" He sighed. "I have another man crush. First Tom, now you." His eyes went up and down my body. "What I wouldn't give to see what happens between you two behind closed doors." I felt like I was naked and I almost reached down to cover myself. "Don't worry, I'm not gay. I'm just a little curious, but not curious enough to do anything about it. You two look happy and I respect that."
"What about you and Billy? Are you guys okay?"
"Yeah. Once I dug the knife out of his back and explained to him that it wasn't me, he was fine." James glanced at his watch. "Anyway, I better go. If you're waiting for Tom, he may be a few minutes. I saw him talking to BJ by the East Entrance."
"What's BJ doing here? He's suspended."
"I don't know. He wasn't here all day, so I guess he came to talk to Tom for a minute."
"Oh."
"Bye Sammy."
"Bye James."
I watched James walk down the hallway and I wondered why BJ needed to talk to Tom and why they were taking so long. I was tempted to go to the East Entrance and see what was going on but I decided against it. I was in the middle of getting my books in order when someone pushed me to the ground. I looked up and it was Billy.
"What is it about you that makes them want to protect you? Is it that they realize what a pathetic loser you are and they know you can't protect yourself?" He kneeled beside me and whispered, "I'm taking a break for a while because I almost lost my best friend over your skeleton looking ass, but don't think that means I'm forgetting about you or your retarded friend." He grabbed my hair and pulled it. "I never forget." He let my hair go and he walked away.
I stayed on the ground, afraid to move. I didn't know what he was talking about with the whole skeleton thing because I had packed on quite a few pounds. Tom had informed me that none of my bones stuck out anymore. He thought I was still too skinny, but even he acknowledged my weight gain.
About five minutes later, Tom came running down the hall. I was sitting against the lockers. "Sorry I'm late. BJ stopped by to talk to me for a minute. I was up all night last night trying to persuade him not to run away and he came today to tell me he's going to stay with his aunt and uncle in Kansas for a while. His family thinks it's for the best." Tom held out his hand and helped me up. He smiled, "Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah." I grabbed the rest of my books and we left. I eagerly anticipated what we would do when we reached his place. The normal distractions of riding the bus didn't bother me because I was too busy fantasizing about Tom. He must have been fantasizing about me too because he practically ran off the bus and sprinted to his house. Our first stop was his room. He closed his door and we dropped our bags and latched on to each other. His lips felt so good but his body felt even better. I would have ripped his clothes off if I had the strength to do it.
We fell on top of his bed, kissing. The full weight of his body as it lied on top of mine, sent feelings of pure happiness surging through me. My back didn't hurt much and the occasional uncomfortable feelings were tender reminders of how real the moment was and what we had done before. We kissed until he stopped and said, "I'll be back." His hand moved down my body as he stood. "I'd love for you to be naked when I get back." He stood by his door. "You don't have to be, but I'd really like it if you were." He closed the door.
I ripped off my clothes and waited for him to come back. He took much longer than I expected. He opened the door and walked in completely naked with his dick pointing directly at me. "I guess I don't have to ask what you're thinking about" I joked.
"Maybe you should ask."
My mouth almost watered as he walked closer. I decided to humor him. "What are you thinking about?"
"A little foreplay and then you inside of me."
"You want me to be inside of you?"
"Yeah. Plus you hurt your back so I don't think you need to be on the bottom rubbing your back against the bed."
"We can try other positions."
"We can, but not today. I've worked out this fantasy in my head."
His admission made me grin. "And you want me to have my way with you?"
He giggled. "Yeah, something like that." He kissed me. We rolled around on the bed kissing then Tom changed positions and started giving me a blow job. His dick was in my face so I returned the favor. I tried to make it feel good to him. I must have done something right because Tom started cumming a few minutes later. "Sorry," he said. "But don't worry, there's more where that came from." He kissed the top part of my thigh then added, "Why don't you start getting me ready while I work on making sure you shoot a load before we get to the real action?"
"What should I do?"
Tom moved quickly and grabbed some lube and a condom. He threw the condom next to us on the bed and he handed me the lube. "Don't worry, I made sure to clean myself extra good for you."
I was still unsure. "Okay, but what should I do?"
He laughed. "Just do what I did to you or do whatever you think will feel good. I trust you."
He went back to giving me a blow job. I tried not to lose myself in what he was doing, but it was hard to focus on getting him ready when his mouth pulling me closer and closer to the edge. I licked his hole a couple of times. It didn't taste as bad as I thought it would. He moaned when I pushed my tongue inside him. The vibrations caused by his moan pushed me over and I came in his mouth. He swallowed then licked around the head a couple of times. He came up for air and said, "I think it's time to start with the lube. You don't have to do much because I, uh, worked myself a little."
I wished I could see his face because I knew he was blushing. I put some of the lube on my finger and lined it up. Sure enough, it eased it with no problems. He licked my dick and my balls while I worked on getting him ready for me. I took a long time because I was nervous. I was scared that I wouldn't please him but at the same time, I was so excited that every time I closed my eyes, I visualized myself on top of him.
He finally whispered, "I can't take it anymore." He lied on his back on the bed. I cautiously moved my body on top of his. He lifted his legs and smiled at me. The cheesy grin on his face made me want him even more.
I slowly inched inside him and his eyes changed. His usual look of love was gone and replaced again by a look that screamed, `I want you so badly that I think I'd die if I couldn't have you right now.' I had to talk myself through the experience until my body went on autopilot and forced my mind to shut down. Being inside him was better than incredible. It was like finding a piece of one hundred proof happiness and being told it was yours to keep. He must have enjoyed it as much as I did because he came a few seconds before I lost complete control of my body. I came so hard inside of him that all I could do was collapse on top of him and try to catch my breath. We remained that way for a while. I was completely overwhelmed by the experience and as I worked my way down from the clouds, I found myself rapidly descending in to depression because the most amazing moment of my life had ended. The unadulterated happiness I thought I had found was slowly slipping through my fingers. Tom kissed my neck and it was like a lifeline had been thrown in my direction. I shook off the bad thoughts and tried to work my way out of the sadness. I told myself we would share other amazing moments.
"I love you," I whispered.
"I love you too," he said. Then he laughed. "I didn't know you had that in you."
"Neither did I."
"I love the way you took control." He kissed my neck again. "I didn't expect that from you but it sure was one hell of a turn on." He pressed his lips against my ear and asked, "So you've tried both, now which was better, top or bottom?"
"They both were really good." I rolled off of him and rested on my side.
"I'm glad you said that because I'd definitely like to repeat what we just did." He smirked and I knew he was about to say something corny. "I don't think bad sex with you is possible. I love you so much that just being near you sends my body in to a frenzy."
"Are you saying that just seeing me excites you?"
"I'm saying that just knowing you're out there breathing somewhere excites me."
"Sounds like love," I teased.
He leaned in and kissed me. "Well then it sounds about right." He kissed me again. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For letting me love you."
My first thought was `Not this again,' but I laughed instead and said, "Well thank you too then."
"For what?"
"For loving me so good that I keep coming back for more." I knew I was about to get serious on him, but I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of me. "You loved me when I thought no one ever could and in a way I never dreamed anyone would. You're the amazing one in this relationship and I'm lucky to have you."
"It's about time you realized that," he said.
I could tell he was joking, "Yeah and it's about time for you to kiss me again." We kissed for a while and basked in the afterglow. My foot kicked something on the bed and I said, "Tom"
"Yeah."
"Uh, I think I forgot to put on the condom."
He made a stern face. "That was very irresponsible of you." He smiled, "But I knew that already. I didn't want to stop you for that."
We made out a little longer then I told him I had to go home because I wanted to have dinner with my family. "Tonight is the night that I wave the white flag and try to call a truce."
"That may be all they need."
"What?"
"A sign of life on the other side. Maybe they feel the same way that Charlie did and all they need is a glimmer of hope that you love them."
"I hope so. I don't think I could take it if they rejected me."
He kissed me. "You have me and together we can deal with anything. They won't reject you, but if they did, I would be here to love you enough for all of them."
"You can't love me the way they can. It's a different kind of love."
"Think positively. They're going to open their arms and welcome you back in to the fold."
"That would be nice."
He caressed my face, "That's what's going to happen. You've come so far and they have to see that. They wouldn't push you away if you reached out for them."
We stared at each other for a few minutes. I wanted to stay with him forever but I knew there were things I needed to face on my own. "What time is your father supposed to be back?"
Tom looked at the clock and said, "He won't be back for a few hours."
"I wish I didn't have to go, but I need to catch the bus since someone lost their driving privileges."
"Let's take a shower first."
"Together?"
"I thought you'd never ask," he teased. He paused then said, "Yes, together. It's not like you have something I haven't seen or touched," he smiled and added, "or licked."
Our innocent shower turned in to sex. I was bent over pushing against the wall with my arms as Tom pushed in and out of me. I had told him that I liked it both ways, but I think if I was being honest with myself and with him then I would admit that I liked the feeling of being inside him, but I loved the feeling of being dominated by him even more. There was something wonderful about the way he lost himself in me and it crossed my mind that Tom might have thought the same thing about me being inside him. Nothing was better than feeling like I belonged to him.
After we finally cleaned off and got out of the shower, we decided that we shouldn't kiss until we were fully dressed because we weren't sure if we could control ourselves. He walked me to the door and gave me a sweet kiss on my lips then pushed me away. "Stop trying to seduce me," he warned.
"I don't have to try too hard. You're easy."
He replied, "Only for you."
"See you tomorrow."
"Okay and good luck with your family."
"Thanks."
I mapped out my plan during the bus ride. I couldn't fix my relationship with my family without outside help. We were too broken to find all the missing pieces on our own. I was going to ask them to start family therapy sessions with me and I crossed my fingers that they would all say yes. I wasn't worried about Charlie. I knew Charlie would come, but I wasn't so sure about my mother and father and I was even less sure about Kristy.
I got home a little before dinner and went to my room. I called Tom and talked to him for a few minutes. He calmed me down and gave me the encouragement I needed to extend an olive branch to my family. I thought they were at fault and they undoubtedly thought I was at fault, but one of us had to be bigger than what was between us. One of us had to make the first move.
Charlie knocked on my door and came in. "Where were you?" he asked.
"I was with Tom."
"Didn't Mom tell you to respect Mrs. Yeager's wishes?"
"Yeah, but how can I stay away from Tom?"
"That's like asking you to cut off your right arm, isn't it?"
"Worse. It's like asking me to go back to being blonde."
Charlie laughed. "Dinner's ready. We should go eat."
"Okay, but before we go, how are you doing?"
"Much better. I went to the gym and took out a punching bag then Janet called and"
"Charlie if you say the two of you are back on, I'm going to scream."
"She only broke up with me because she was afraid of moving in together, but I told her there's no rush. I'm willing to wait until she's ready to take that step."
I did a silent scream and shook my head. "I can't wait until we talk to Dr. Conley about you and Janet."
"Tell me what he says."
"I think you missed the we' part. By we,' I mean you and I."
I could tell I had surprised him. "You want me to go to one of your sessions with you?"
"Yeah. I want the whole family to go."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I think it's time I made an effort to reintegrate myself in to the family. I think I should do it one at a time. Like maybe a session with you, then a session with Dad, then a session with Mom, and maybe a session with Kristy then finally a session as a family," I grinned. "I may have skimmed over one of your books."
"Well, I'm glad you did. Let's go to the kitchen and you can tell them. I can't wait to see Mom's reaction. She's going to flip out." Dinner went on as usual, with everyone talking around me until Charlie said, "Sam has something he'd like to say to everyone."
They all looked at me. My mother asked, "What is it Honey?"
"I don't feel like a part of the family and that hurts me. I'd like to change that. I don't know what I did to make you guys keep your distance. Maybe you don't know how to handle me because I have so many problems. I can understand how it would be easier to stay away but I don't want things to be that way. I want to get to know you and if you're interested, I'd like us all to go see Dr. Con–Dr. Leyland together."
My mother looked happier than I'd seen her in years. "That's wonderful, Honey! I'd love to go talk to Dr. Leyland with you." I looked at her and I saw tears in her eyes.
I hadn't expected her to react that way. I explained to them how I wanted to ease in to family therapy by doing a session with each of them and my mother asked to go first. She said she wanted to know what she had done to make me hate her so much for so long. I thought about telling her that I didn't hate her, but I knew she wouldn't understand. That was why I knew we had to see Dr. Conley and have him help us. He could make her understand what she had done to me and maybe he could help me understand what I had done to her. I had never intended to make her think I hated her. She was my mother and I loved her. Part of my problem was that I thought I loved her more than she loved me. One day she was a loving, doting mother and the next day she wasn't and I never knew what had changed.
I had spent so much of my life accepting that I was unlovable and allowing things to remain strained between us. I should have at least reached out for them and given them the chance to turn me away. I wanted love more than I wanted anything else in the world. Love was the food that could feed my heart and nourish my battered spirit. Love was the armor that I could hide behind when my demons came looking for me. I hadn't beaten anorexia or cutting. I'd never completely beat them, but with love in my corner, I could keep them at bay and mine an endless resource of weapons to fight my inner battles. I needed Tom but I realized that I also needed my family.
THE END
© Lustyville 2012
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