Disclaimer: Please be advised that this material is intended for a mature gay audience only. If you are under age, or offended by Gay erotic material you should probably read no further.
Should you choose to read on, I hope you enjoy this fictional story of a young man's quest for love and acceptance. The boy in this story is real; the events and settings are not. I will be pleased to answer any questions and welcome any comments. Each will be considered and replied to as I have opportunity to do so. Email me at boyzheart@hotmail.com
Steven
May 30, 2002
Josh,
Well, this email hopes to find you tanned, rested, and having fun! Things are pretty normal around here. Not much has changed since my last correspondence except that I do miss our chats.
I have not stopped long enough to do any more writing on my other work. I have sort of come to a standstill on one and have asked a friend to help me finish it up. He was eager to do so, and in fact came up with a new idea for the next chapter!
I wasn't even going to be able to finish the first.
Seems I ran out of emotional steam to complete the project. That is not like me at all, but given my own emotional swings after loosing my dear Jacob, I have not been able to focus on that story. Odd really, considering the story wasn't about Jacob ... I can't really explain it. But, thankfully the work will be completed and I hope to post it soon.
So, how are the islands? I trust you have made a few friends. I am sure that many of those hot Hawaiian lads have found you interesting and have befriended you.
You are of course pleasant to them I am sure. Who knows, you may even bring one home with you?! Nah, I'm just teasing ... but it would be fun ... wouldn't it?
Oh, I was telling you about my first kiss from Steven...
I slowly let him down to the ground but he maintained close body, not letting go with the grip around my neck.
This of course necessitated that I lean down and he step up on his tiptoes. My mind was ablaze with how wrong this was ... how quickly I should end this.
My mind raced to catch up with the rest of me as it has slide into that neutral state where thoughts bounce incoherently back and forth in every unorganized pattern possible.
Steven was looking deep into my eyes ... with an almost adult-like calm waiting for me to come back to reality.
I focused my eyes and thinking on him, my hands gently clasping his delicate ribs just below his sexy armpits, and I fixed my mouth to form the words ... but he closed the small distance between our lips. His lips were soft as an angels, warm, wet, sensuous ... desperate. I tried to pull away ... he wouldn't. It was as if he understood .. understood that if he didn't get his way here ... now ... it would never happen. He pressed harder and harder. If I was dumbfounded by the passion of his kiss, what he did next pushed me totally over the edge ... he parted his lips and licked mine and probed at their parting until I opened them. His taste was sweet as honey and his tongue was lightening fast going back and forth, in and out, exploring, hungrily tasting and feeling every spot he could reach in my mouth.
My resistance melted.
I engulfed him once again in my arms and picked him up. His legs resumed their position around my waist and his erection unbashfully poked at my abdomen. My right hand lowered to his ass and rubbed him thought the fabric of his jeans. My left hand drew him as close to me as humanly possible. Our kiss was beyond passionate ... it was desperate. Finally we stopped.
I'm not sure how long it lasted... it seemed as if it were eternity, but it was over 100 years too soon. He put his forehead on my chest as I stood and rocked us back and forth in silent rhythm of the lover's song we had just spun. Slowly he lifted his head and there was a single tear leaking from his right eye.
I kissed it away and asked, "What?"
"Andy," he said in whispered tones, "What does this mean? I'm so confused."
"Steven," I answered equally hushed, "This simply means we love each other. That's all it means."
"But isn't that wrong ... I mean ... your so big ... and I'm just a little kid." Tears were starting to form on the rims of his lush brown eyes again.
"Steven," I said as I lowered him back down to earth. I motioned him to a nearby rusty chair left out for old timers to sit on around the stable. I sat and he immediately sprang up into my lap and wrapped his arms around me tightly again.
"Steven, you're right. I am an adult. You are a child. Most people won't understand us ... our love." I lifted his chin and looked into his brown eyes, "I do love you Steven. But we have to be careful.
I could get into deep trouble. If people find out about us, I could go to jail. Its that simple. If people think I let you fall for me this way, and that I returned your affection ... I go to jail. That isn't good for either of us."
He wept softly into my chest, continuing his strong hold on me with his thin arms. I consoled him and rocked him there. Listening to his pain, feeling his sobs, the warmth of him, the tenderness and innocence of him.
Once again I lifted his chin once he had regained some composure. "Steven, I want us to be friends. I want to be near you, to be a part of your life. I love you and want to be here for you. But if we are to make that happen, we mustn't kiss like this anymore. We can't let a sexual relationship start. It will ruin everything. Can you understand that?"
He nodded his head, and wiped tears and snot. I pulled out my handkerchief and helped him. "Now," I said after he was all cleaned up and had another power hug, "are we ok?"
"Yep," he said as he sprang forward pecking me on the cheek and leapt from my lap and gleefully ran back to the horse and brought him into the stable for his rub down.
I chuckled at myself for the youthfulness of him, the simple joy in his step. There was a glow about him now ... the glow of a boy who knew he was loved.