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Sticks and stones will break my bones... but calling me names excites me.
Sticks and Stones (m+m, fdom, reluctant bi, blackmail) Lizard69
"Hey femboy! Where's your boyfriend?!"
"Out being a jerk somewhere, what's it to you?"
Steve wasn't that much bigger or older than me. He was already fifteen while I wouldn't have that birthday until a week into the next summer vacation. My friend Alex was old enough to drive and had his own car, the usual high miles clunker that's all a teenager can afford. He was also in high school while I was still trapped in middle school. We spent as much time together as we could manage but I didn't think of him as a "boyfriend".
Steve stood there for a minute as if he couldn't make up his mind whether or not to be insulted. As his buddies drifted off I wrote my number on the corner of a notebook page then tore it off and handed it to him.
"If you can figure out what you wanted to ask me, call me later."
I didn't bother to look back as he threw it away. Maybe that's why he didn't. It was a little surprising when he actually called.
"Hey femboy, whacha upta?"
"Listening to some guy who wants to ask me something, trying to piss me off enough that I'll hang up before he gets an answer. I'm Joe, you're Steve. If there's something you want to know, asking might be a good place to start."
"Ok femboy, how can you let that queer do it to you?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"That guy you hang out with, everybody knows you're queer for each other, or at least that you're letting him hump you."
"Who exactly is everybody, and how can they know something that's total bullshit?"
"Are you kidding? You act more fem than some of the girls. Everybody knows the only time a high school kid hangs with a middle school girl is to get what the girls his own age won't give."
"Yeah, but I'm not a girl."
"You're close enough for some people. You gotta admit, most of the time you don't act much like a guy. Why don't you pull your nose out of a book and get into sports or something? At least take a swing at the next guy that calls you femboy."
"Cause I'd get flattened! I'm blind on one side, don't see 3d and can't judge distance worth a damn. In a fight I might as well have a bucket over my head. The same goes for any sport that involves connecting with a moving object. I suppose I can run or swim but who needs to join a team for that?"
"Oh... that sucks. I didn't know."
"Well, keep it to yourself. I've had more than my share of creeps trying to look tough by beating up a kid that can't fight back. Anyway, what did you mean by, `close enough for some people'?"
"You know... queers."
"Look, I transferred in from a Catholic school. That doesn't make me totally retarded. I know there's some guys that get off on other guys. I suppose they start about the same time most guys go after girls. I haven't done anything with a girl yet but that's what I'm looking forward to. No guy has tried to get weird with me. I sure as hell wouldn't put up with that shit from Alex."
"You really haven't done anything, with anybody?"
"Neither have most of the other guys our age. The only thing that makes me strange is that I'll admit it. Most guys run their mouth until `locker room talk' is just another way of saying bullshit."
"Yeah, well, bye."
I thought that was the end of it. I still caught some snarky comments from a few of the guys at school but Steve and his friends left me alone. That really should have been the end of it.
But...
It's like, one of those things you know, but don't think about, until somebody calls it to your attention. Like your parents fucking, everybody knows they do or at least did, or there wouldn't be a kid getting grossed out by the idea. Up until then, "cocksucker", was just a general purpose insult, a way to start a fight, not an accusation. Knowing that at least a couple of people thought I was one made me want to run around telling everybody I wasn't. The problem is, I couldn't think of anything more certain to convince anybody who was wondering that I really was. If the first call from Steve was a surprise, the second was confusing.
"I didn't expect to hear from you again."
"As far as anybody else knows, you didn't, not now, not ever. I hear any rumors around school, I'll pound you flat."
"Then why call?"
"I'm having a little party at my place Saturday afternoon, about two o'clock. My folks will be out of town. It's just me, a couple of friends and a girl I've had the hots for as long as I've known her. She's the one that got you on the guest list by offering to entertain us if you were there. I don't know what she has in mind but she said she'd do something really special for me if I can talk you into not jacking off between now and the party."
"What?!"
"Yeah, that's what I said. I can't think of any way she could know. You'll be doing me a favor if you show up at all. The other is up to you. As far as my friends know, you're there as her guest."
So, Saturday came around and we were in the basement at Steve's place. It was just us four guys with soft drinks and chips, a stereo playing low, until Kelly showed up. Steve broke out a bottle of something and the soda turned to mixed drinks as the volume crept up. Kelly ditched her jacket when she started dancing and we all cheered her on as more of her clothes followed. She finished in a black bra and panties that might have been a skimpy swim suit or maybe just underwear.
She wrapped her arms around Steve's neck and they spent some time whispering in each others ear before he turned and told me to come with them. There was a door between the part of the basement they had finished as a rec room and the rest that they were using for the furnace and storage. The overhead lights were out but there was a desk lamp on a pile of boxes facing the far wall, lighting up something we couldn't see and bouncing enough light our way to get us there. The boxes had been stacked far enough from the wall to leave space for one of those folding roll away beds the hotels stick kids with, the ones like a lumpy, oversize, camp cot. I turned to find Kelly and Steve blocking the aisle.
"Boys talk. By Monday afternoon half the school will hear that I stripped naked and let those guys take turns. By Friday there won't be a handful of guys willing to admit they weren't here and didn't have me."
She stepped in close and started running a fingertip up and down my shirt front. I'd seen her around. Brunette, a couple inches shorter than me, a body that was more a preview of coming attractions than anything special. Then again, she wasn't running around school in a couple scraps of fabric that stitched together wouldn't have made a fair sized catch rag.
"You're going to keep that from happening."
"Uh... How?"
"When Steve told me the class queer was a virgin I almost choked laughing, then decided he was going to help me fix that. The plan was to get a few guys together, tease them `til they're so damn horny they'll fuck ANYTHING then slide you under them. We're more than half way there."
"You gotta be kidding?! Steve, tell me she's kidding! No! There's just no fucking way I'm doing anything like that!"
Her voice stayed low and sweet but there was a hint of something steel hard underneath as she started poking me in the chest.
"Let's get something straight faggot. You're a total femboy whether you've actually taken a cock yet or not. There's no way I'm going to let you wreck my reputation trying to save a cherry the whole school thinks you lost long ago."
I felt the bed against the back of my legs, lost my balance and sat down with a thud. To my surprise, she sat down next to me. Her free hand had been dragging Steve by the belt buckle. Unzipping his fly she pulled out his cock. Slowly running the tip of her tongue up the underside caused a clear drop of pre-cum to form by the time she swirled her tongue around the head.
"Your turn... just like that."
"I... I can't. Really, I just can't!"
She started slowly stroking his cock while her free hand traveled lightly up and down my back.
"I'm trying really hard to make this as easy as possible for you but you need to do your part too. Start by getting this whole, `can't, won't, don't', thing out of your head right now. You're not going to do gay, it's already happening. My pussy is built to take a pounding. I can get away with spreading my legs and imagining I'm somewhere else. Unless you have him just about ready to pop when he slips it in, you won't be able to walk by the time he's done."
Kelly was at least sort of right. The only way I could stop thinking can't was to stop thinking, or at least limit my attention to what was in front of me. It was easier than I expected, maybe because I really didn't want to think about where it would end. She held him steady as I leaned in and took my first taste. It started to bob as she let go to move around behind me until she was sitting on her heels with my skinny butt between her spread thighs. I was trying to decide if it was worse to grab Steve's cock or chase it with my tongue while she pulled off my shirt. By the time I settled the question a pair of nipples were brushing against my bare back though I had no idea exactly when she lost her top.
"Now you're getting it. You have to be really careful about teeth. Next time, open wide, pull your lips in to cover the edges and take the head in your mouth before you swirl your tongue around it. That's it, trap the head in your mouth and give it a real bath. You know how sensitive that spot on the underside right near the end is. You'll have to go a little deeper to do it right."
She had me circle his dick with a finger and thumb before she let me come up for air. I was surprised and actually a little disappointed to see I'd only had a couple inches in my mouth. It felt huge. By then I'd reached some sort of peak in my ability to blush. Each new demand brought a quick surge of heat but the total didn't seem to be getting any worse. Kelly had unfastened my own Levis and pushed Steve back far enough I could stand up while she pulled them down along with my underwear. When she pulled me back across the bed I lifted my feet trying to keep from going completely over and Steve finished stripping me. She pulled a towel and a tub of lube from under the bed.
"Lay down, it's time to get you ready. No, on your back and pull your knees up. Farther, lift your ass so I can slide the towel under it. Now spread, you can't help being tight but we need to get you as wet and slippery as possible. Hey! Look at me while I play with your ass. You'll have plenty of time for the thousand yard stare later."
"You can't expect me to..."
"Hush. Concentrate on me massaging you, pushing lube into you, my fingers dipping deeper and deeper until... Don't clamp down! They're already inside and you'll hurt yourself. That's it, just relax and let yourself open up for me."
She nodded and Steve got on the bed. I started to panic when I saw that he'd gotten undressed while Kelly kept me occupied.
"Easy there, the last thing you want to do is tense up right now."
She leaned in until all I could see was her face, while Steve moved into position and she lubed him up as well before positioning the head of his cock at my hole.
"You need to watch him now. Don't worry. He's not going to gaze romantically into your eyes or try to kiss you. It's his first time. There's nothing quite like watching a boy become a man. Go on Steve, just like I told you. Slowly put your weight behind it."
"Please stop! Don't make me do this! I can't..."
She covered my mouth with one hand while the other continued stroking his shaft.
"Give it time. Hold the pressure and wait for his ass to give up the fight. I can keep you hard longer than he can keep you out."
She was right again. It couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes though it felt like forever. The head of his cock began to sink deeper and deeper into my ass. It hurt. It felt like I was heartbeats away from being ripped wide open. My vision got blurry. I guess I was starting to cry. Every time I thought I couldn't take anymore it sank a little deeper into me.
As the ridge around the head passed through my tightly stretched ring it got, different. Not easier... not exactly... It's like up until that moment there was some kind of totally irrational hope that it wasn't really going to happen. Like there was some chance that they'd tell me to get dressed and it was all a joke. Now that he was in me, how deep really didn't matter. As it went deeper there was no room for her hand. She pulled the other off my mouth and kissed me as I felt his scratchy pubes against my ass.
"Watch close now. With every thrust he'll get smoother, less hesitant, more confident. He'll still cum way too soon but by the time he does he'll be a man. That doesn't mean you'll be a woman. What's happening to you is something different. Every man has a feminine side. In some it's hard to find. In others it's really strong, too strong to resist when there is a real man around. You're opening up in a way that's more than physical. You're accepting what he's doing to you, using your naked body for his pleasure."
Steve came just then, wiped his dick on the free end of the towel under my ass and started to get dressed. Kelly put her top back on and walked with him to the rec room side of the basement. There were all sorts of feelings churning inside me but right then I was too wiped out to do much more than stare at the unfinished supports for the floor above asking myself what in the hell I had done. If I had thought, if the possibility had occurred to me that it might not be over, I would have... I don't know... something... When I heard male whispering and a feminine giggle come around the pile of boxes I barely had time to think, "Oh my God". That was better than Steve's friend. He seemed completely at a loss for words, until he blurted out.
"He's got a hardon."
"Yeah, femboys are like that. Don't worry. I'm here to give you something to get hot about."
"But..."
"Shh, play with me while I undress you. I'll even get bare but you have to first. He'll need some more lube, that's all. By the time I have you horny enough to fuck anything, he'll be so hot from watching us he'll spread for you just like he did for Steve."
"You mean you didn't..."
"Uh-uh. Steve still got a load off, and so will you when you want to. Until then, come here and kiss me."
I can't say it was all that hot watching them kissing and groping each other. When I obeyed her command to pull my knees up and apart I just wanted it to be over. That didn't stop him from fucking me or keep me from noticing the same sort of transformation Steve went through. This time she stayed with me and asked him to send the last guy in.
"Ok you sorry little cunt. I'm tired of doing the heavy lifting. You're going to tell this one how it's Ok to fuck you, that it doesn't make him queer, just horny. I know you're tired and your ass is sore and sucking another cock is about as exciting as eating cold mashed potatoes. This isn't about what you want. This is about the day three horny kids became men and a timid little femboy learned what it means to give everything he has to please somebody else."
Then he was there and, well... Look, none of them had been what I'd call shocked to find out that getting their dick wet meant switching partners. This guys big problem was trying not to look too eager. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I kept looking up, waiting for the moment when I'd have to assure him it was Ok. Instead, when we finally made eye contact it was like that, all by itself, was an engraved invitation to get naked and get on me. He wasn't looking at Kelly or off to the side. He was looking down at me, and I discovered I could blush a little more after all. It wasn't romantic, at least not like the movies. I tried to be like, "Ok, you're fucking me, no big deal." While he was totally, "I can't believe a boy can be so girly. This is so fuckin' neat!" For a minute I was scared that he would try to kiss me then he was adding his load to the lube and baby batter already leaking down my ass crack.
It didn't take long for him to dress and leave. That left me looking up at Kelly a few minutes later as she dropped her bikini bottoms and wiping a puddle of pre-cum off my tummy, used it to wet her ass hole before settling onto my cock. Have you ever had a low grade case of blue balls for so long that you'd almost rather curl up and sleep than make yourself cum? She wasn't half way down my shaft when I popped a load that hurt as much as it helped.
"There. You were nice to him. So I was nice to you and if you ever say one word to anyone about having your dick in me I'll make sure everyone knows three guys took turns on you first."
We cleaned up as much as we could and got dressed. Kelly and I were the last to leave. I'm not sure how I made it home. I was pretty much out of it. It also shouldn't surprise anyone that I didn't feel much need to jack off that day or the next. School on Monday could have been worse. Steve and his buddies kept their distance. At least most of them did. As I was leaving for the day some guy made a creepy comment and one of the guys from the party called him on it, said he was entitled to his opinion but hassling a kid who wouldn't fight back was chicken shit.
"Uh, thanks. I suppose you want to take off before too many people see you talking to me."
"Yeah, well, I didn't get your number."
This time I was pretty sure he would call, just not so sure I wanted him to. At the party, he was the last guy.
"Hey femboy,"
"Hi, this is kind of awkward, I gave you my number and don't even know your name."
"I'm Eric. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, you know, about what I did at the party."
"Does it matter?"
"I, uh, don't know what to say."
"Then be quiet and listen. Kelly invited me but she did it through Steve and included a comment that made me think there might be sex involved. I don't know if the whole thing was her idea or something she and Steve dreamed up together. It wasn't until the three of us got to the back room that I found out I was there to have sex, just not with her."
"Sort of like the rest of us."
"Yeah. Sort of. She made it real clear that it didn't matter what I wanted or that I'd never been with anyone. I was a place for Steve to stick it after she got him so horny he was damn well going to stick it somewhere. I'm not even sure they planned to take it any further than her teasing him to, `become a man', by busting a nut in the class queer."
"Oh shit."
"It was all messed up. She got bare and sat there telling us what to do, like directing the action or maybe more like playing with life size dolls. She never came right out and said you guys would beat me up and hold me down if I didn't play along but that's the message I got. Like... do it with Steve or have all of you taking turns."
"So you did it with Steve."
"Uh-huh. It was like, some kind of warped tease, where she kept telling me to do things that would make it hotter for him and hell for me. I guess I could have refused. By that time all I really wanted was for him to get done and get off of me. When they left I thought that was the end of it, until she came back with the next guy, then told him to send you in."
"Oh."
"I won't say that was the worst of it. By then everything was so messed up I couldn't point to any part of it and call it worst. Steve had to choose between me begging him to stop and Kelly telling him to be a man' and give the little femboy what he's too scared to ask for'. She seemed to get a special kick out of helping him lose his virginity by taking mine. She made me watch him looking everywhere but at me while he did it, including his, `what the fuck have I done', expression right after he came.
"I think now that it might have ended there, Steve taking a chance I wouldn't tell in order to put some distance between himself and what he did. She had him half convinced that raping me was no big deal. But... It's easier to handle guilt if you can spread it around and taking his turn on a `slut' who did all of you isn't nearly as bad as raping a virgin. Just before you got there she gave me a threatening little pep talk that made it clear I didn't have to be enthusiastic but had damn well better be more accommodating."
"Oh shit. It's a good thing we're on the phone. If I was there in person you'd try to rip my `nads off for what I have to tell you. When Steve asked who was next I volunteered for last place. I don't know if I should tell you this. You're going to think I'm the creepiest pervo..."
"And how much does that matter?"
"Well, you know how in the movies a group of guys will sometimes grab a girl and promise they won't hurt her if she's nice to them? Like really nice... to all of them?"
"I'm not sure I like where this is going."
"They show more or less details depending on the movie but all of them have a shot of the girl when the guys are done with her. I can't watch a movie like that alone without hitting pause at that spot. There is something that's just incredibly hot about a girl who has just done it with a bunch of guys."
"So, that's why."
"Why what?"
"Steve and the other guy, it was like this weird thing that was so creepy and nasty it almost wasn't even sex. Like they were playing this game with Kelly then using my ass to masturbate. I was only sucking them so they wouldn't ream me raw before getting a load off.
"You were fucking me, using the whole boy instead of the boy hole. It was still rape. If I had any kind of choice I would have been somewhere else. With the others it was like they were doing this ugly thing to me so their dick would feel something before they ran away. You wanted to do it. What you did wasn't nice but at least you were there. Right now I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I know it scares me."
"I don't want to scare you."
"Thanks, but... Look, anyone else who was there isn't going to say or do anything. They don't want to get in trouble, don't want to even think about what they did. I don't have that choice. Uh, after you learned how to jerk off, did you ever try to stop? How did that work for you?"
"Not very good."
"I haven't done it since... you know. I'm going to start again. I can't not do it for much longer. There is no way in hell I can do it without thinking about what happened. None of it was good but maybe it won't be so awful if I concentrate on the part that was least bad."
"Oh... Oh my God! Did you just tell me you're going to think about me raping you while you jerk off? I'm sorry, but I can't deal with that right now, maybe not ever. Bye."
Well, he didn't call for a week, and then another. I saw him around school but kept my distance. The last thing I wanted was for him to get the idea I was chasing him. Kelly would flash me a smile when we passed in the hall, if she wasn't with friends, which was most of the time. The other guys seemed nervous at first but as time passed and nothing happened they sort of went back to normal except for leaving me alone. That was almost worth a sore ass... almost. A lot of the shit bouncing around inside my head started to settle. By the time he finally called I had gone pretty far towards reaching some new kind of normal.
"Uh, hi."
"Hi."
The pause stretched out until I really thought he'd hang up.
"Uh... Are your still afraid?"
"Uh-huh, just getting scared of different stuff."
"Anything I can do?"
"Yeah, but I was kind of hoping you wouldn't. I guess if I can say that much I should drag it all out into the open. I can jerk off without crying now. I can't without remembering what you did to me. I guess I can deal with that. It's not like I have a choice. It is what it is. The dreams are worse."
"Dreams? You mean..."
"Not like that, not actually doing anything, I'm just going places. Like, I'm on a bus, going to a house out on the edge of town. Nobody is living there right now but it has a free standing garage that isn't locked. Or I'm in this run down apartment building that's mostly vacant looking for a certain door. The worst one is where I'm walking down an alley near my house looking for a family size tent set up in the back yard. It's a party for older kids, college age, mostly girls but some of them have their boyfriends there. I'm not going to any of these places because I want to. I got a call telling me where to be and when to be there. I don't know for sure what's going to happen there and I'm trying real hard not to think about it."
"Man, that's weird."
"Yeah. The worst part is it's always your voice on the phone but I'm usually sure you won't be there."
"Usually?"
"Oh shit. It's not what it sounds like! I don't have a choice about that, or anything else. It's just, like, `the devil you know'. Understand?"
"Maybe. Like if I gave you an address and a time to be there, you'd go."
"If it was a choice of you knowing what I was doing or everyone finding out what I did..."
"And if it was a choice of being with a stranger who might brag or somebody who is already staying quiet about the last time?"
"Like I said, `the devil you know', but that's not the same as asking for it."
(Probably not) The End