Stone Hearts and Hand Grenades

By Tayler C.

Published on Jul 20, 2023

Gay

I woke up at exactly 5:30, tired of my alarm on my phone. I went to my bathroom and turned the shower on scorching hot and let it steam up for a minute or two. I stepped in and let the water cascade on my body. I poured a little bit of lavender oil in the steam shower opening and let it calm me. It's a new day and I wanted a new mindset. I washed my hair, and bathed my body and just let the lavender oil relax and soothe me. 20 minutes later, I was in my closet, looking for something to wear. I decided on an ombre denim shirt that I made, white skinny jeans, and a pair of white denim Levi shoes. I was feeling a bit quirky today, so I decided to wear a black bowtie with my outfit. I went downstairs and got Gracie's leash to take her for her morning walk and this time, I decided to go in a different direction than yesterday. She handled her business and we went back into the house. When I got back into the kitchen, my mom and dad were both at the island talking and being all lovey and mushy. It was funny that they were still so in love after 23 years of marriage. "Hey mom. Dad." I greeted them both.

"Trace! I missed you last night, son. How was school yesterday?" My dad asked, trying to make conversation.

"It was fine. Same old, same old."

"Good. Listen, I've set up some deals with the dean of Cal State. You're going to be going there in the fall, I presume." He said presume, but more like it was going to be final.

"Nope. I haven't decided what college I want to go to yet. I don't even like Cal State so why would I go there?" I said, trying to ruffle his feathers.

"Both your mom and I went there. It's a great environment for you, son. You'll like it. I'm a frat alumni and your mom is a sorority girl. I take it you'll also be joining a prestigious fraternity also?" He was always like this. What business deals he could make, the prestige, the money, the lineage.

"Nope. Not really my thing. As a matter of fact, I've had my eyes set on UCLA. And I'm NOT going to join any fraternities."

"I think you will. You'll like it, Trace. I guarantee it. The connections and people you know will carry you far. Especially if they're from fraternities and sororities. It's what's best for you."

"Sure. Whatever. I've gotta go." It was only 6:20, but I didn't want to keep the conversation going on with my dad.

"Honey, wait! I made breakfast for you and a fruit shake." My mom said, trying to get me to stay longer.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'll pick something up." I said, grabbing my keys from the drawer where we all kept our keys.

"Why? You can eat here for free, sweetheart. Come on, eat with us."

"Fine. I'll eat here, mom." I grabbed a piece of toast, a piece of turkey bacon, and the fruit shake and ate them quickly and quietly. My parents continued their conversations, deciding whether to go to Paris for their anniversary or Rome.

Their anniversary was coming up later on next year, but being the perfectionist that my mom is, she liked to plan things to the very move. Her birthday was also coming up, so they talked about a trip to Bermuda for that.

"Am I coming this time? I wanna go to Bermuda." I chimed in.

"Well, your mom and I kind of wanted alone time for Bermuda, so we'll see son."

"You got alone time in Angola..." I trailed off.

"Yes, Trace, you can come. And we won't cut you and your friends off this time." My mom cut eyes at my dad and looked at him very sternly. Last year, for spring break, Blair, Cam, and I were all supposed to go to Angola with my mom and dad but at the very last minute, my dad told us that this was supposed to be an intimate affair, so we weren't allowed to go. I smiled, went to the refrigerator and got some grapes, celery, baby carrot sticks, crackers and ranch and put them all into a zip lock bag and headed to my car.

I headed to school once again, making it there in 15 minutes. Usually around this time, I'd be at my locker, but since we hadn't gotten lockers yet, I just decided to wait in the parking lot until the 5 minute bell rang. I saw Cameron pull up followed by Harrison and Hunter. Cam came over to my car after he parked and got in my front seat.

"Why did you take off last night? We had so much fun!"

"Weed and liquor. I'm not here for that."

"I didn't even smoke or anything. I met this cute ass boy from Calabasas High. His name is Cayden. He was one of the surfers last night."

"Which one, which one!"

"The one with the dark curly hair. Oh God, he's so sexy! I need him in my life right now." Cameron said, beaming from ear to ear.

"Oh, he was one of the cuter ones! Nice, Cam! Did you do anything last night?" I inquired, getting excited along with him.

"No we just made out in front of everyone. Best thing was Josh was so jealous! He stormed off like you and everything. And then he text me 10 times!" Cameron boisterously laughed.

"You aren't doing this just to get back at Josh are you?"

"Only a little, but hey, who knows where this thing may go? I'm just in it for the ride. No strings have to be attached yet."

"Oh! That reminds me. Look over at Harrison and Hunter. Just ever so slightly look in their direction."

Cam slowly turned his head and looked in their general direction and turned to look the other way.

"What about them? I don't see anything out of the norm..." He said, confused.

"Look again. More slowly this time."

Hunter had his hand touching Harrison's very gently, and there was that glossy, infatuated look in Harrison's eyes while they talked to each other.

"HOLY F*CK! Who would have thought?!" Cameron said loudly.

"I know right? Isn't that so cute! I thought they were only just best friends this entire time! I wonder how long they've been going out? They look like they don't want anyone to know though, so you can't go blabbing your mouth about them. Let them do it in their own time." I said to Cam, knowing he'd be itching to tell someone.

"Oh please, I'm the queen of secrets. I'm keeping Josh's secret. No one knows but you and B."

"Speaking of Blair, I haven't seen her car yet."

"She said she's going to be a little bit late today. I don't know..."

Just then, I saw Christian's black car pull up and I kind of rolled my eyes. Cam saw it too and chuckled.

"Let it go, T... Let that shit go. You'll find someone even better looking than dude. He looks like a douche."

"Whatever, I'm ready to go inside anyway." I got out, grabbed my bag and headed toward the front entrance.

Once again, it was like a maze, maneuvering through the many bodies of the school. Cameron following behind, we went to a not so crowded hallway and just then, the bell rang.

I headed to my English class and ran into Harrison and Ashley along the way. Ash was so beautiful. She was Philippine and Hawaiian. She had long raven hair and those beautiful almond shaped eyes and that milky caramel complexion. So beautiful. If I wasn't gay, I'd probably try to date her.

"Hey guys! I'm really happy we all have a class together this year." I directed at both of them.

"Yeah, me too. I didn't see you yesterday at the beach. Were you there?" Harrison said, putting his arm around Ashley's shoulders.

"Yeah, I was there. I just left early. We'll talk more in class later okay?"

"Sure thing. Catch ya later."

I arrived at English and took my seat. Soon after, the bell rang and Ms. Bickerstaff ordered us to turn in our homework assignments in the first period tray and get started on the warmup. We had to fix and find errors in a paragraph today. Fairly easy for me. I finished it all in around 5 minutes. After 10 minutes, she called on individual kids to read and fix the errors in the sentences.

She issued our Literature books out and told us to turn to Beowulf.

"How many of you have read Beowulf before?" Ms. Bickerstaff asked the class. Only 3 students raised their hands. I'd seen the movie of course, but I hadn't actually read the book.

"Good! This will be something new for the majority of you. It's a beautiful story of an epic tale that's been passed down for centuries. Many say it's the first English piece of literature written. Notice, I said English, meaning English language."

With that, we all took turns reading. Soon after we started reading, Blair came into the class and took her seat. Ms. Bickerstaff passed her a book and told her our placing in the story. Blair volunteered to read next. She was really like a go-getter type of girl. So she mostly took matters into her own hands. Today, she wore Armani jeans, a crisp white Ralph Lauren blazer, a plain light blue tee and of course, Christian Louboutin black platform heels. Always the fashionista, Blair. I don't ever recall a day where I've seen Blair have an off day. Not even an off hair day. I don't know how she did it. It was inhumane!

As Blair was reading, I kind of got distracted by my thoughts and just let my mind ramble and roam. Soon enough, just when I least expected it, my name was called.

"Um, sorry, I kind of lost track of where we were," I explained to Ms. Bickerstaff.

"I noticed. That's why I called on you."

"Oh..." I let my voice trail off. I kind of felt embarrassed. I hated when moments like this happened! She finally let me know where we were in the story and I started reading timidly. The embarrassment flustered me, and it started my reading off kind of shaky, but soon enough, I was reading like the pro that I was. After I was done reading my paragraphs, the bell rang and I headed to my Algebra III class.

I hated Algebra and luckily we had another free day because we had a sub and a crossword assignment which I finished quickly. I just slept the rest of the class period. Soon enough the bell rang and I headed to AP Biology II.

I walked in and took my seat in the middle of the class and started on my warmup assignment right away.

It was a word scramble and a question about the word to be unscrambled. The word turned out to be Golgi apparatus and the question was to name and describe the functions of this organelle.

Christian came and sat in front of me, once again. I forgot he had this class... I pretended like I didn't even notice him and I continued to work on my warmup assignment.

After about 10 minutes, warmup was over and we were given our first big project of the semester, a model of two Eukaryotic cells. One plant, one animal. We had to work in partners and collaborate with one another. Since we had chosen our partners for the year yesterday, I was stuck with Chris... Great. Just when I wanted to avoid him, he was here. In my face... And we were gonna have to work on a project together.

Whatever. I'd decided I'd just deal with it. Pull a Lawrence Logan and keep it strictly about the business.

Christian turned around in his desk and faced me.

"So you left early yesterday? What was that about?" He asked me, tapping on my desk lightly.

"It's not any of your concern. So about this project, it's worth 500 points, so we can't screw this up. I have a couple of ideas on what we could do, but they may need some fine tuning." I said, basically ignoring his question.

"What do you mean it's not any of my concern? I thought we were friends?"

"Um... I was thinking about play-dough, but that wouldn't really hold up well would it? We'll just have to test it out. We have two whole weeks anyway. We can test and play with a bunch of different materials."

"Trace, you're not my friend?" I looked up at Christian and he had a very hurt expression in his eyes. It pained me to see that look.

"Of course we are, but we're in class and I don't want to fail this project. Mr. Black might be chill and relaxed, but he doesn't fool around when it comes to grades." I said trying to soften the look on his face, but it didn't work. He still looked a bit sad.

"Okay, fine. We can work on it today after school. That is if you aren't going to run out on me again."

"Uh... Yeah, sure." I gave Christian my phone number and we made plans to get together after school to work on the project.

That was kind of awkward... Once the bell rang, I sped out of class like a crazy person.

I practically ran to the auditorium lol! Once there, I sat down at the front, and just waited for class to begin. Blair and Cam sat next to me, followed by Catherine and Lauren and Chelsey. We were all seniors and we had all been in the plays together, so we were like the artsy theater clique when we were together. Only Harrison, Nick, and Hunter were missing. Nick was really quiet and reserved, kind of shy, but he had a dry sense of humor that made him very funny. The bell rang and Mr. Malik said he didn't have any crazy games for us to play today, so it would be a free day today. Blair and Catherine were talking so I told Cam to get Harrison and Hunter over in a spot of the auditorium where no one else was. We all walked over to the corner and I could tell they were kinda confused as to why we wanted to talk to them, so I just started talking first.

"Hey guys. You're both really good friends to us and you are both so cool. Anyway, I know you two are together. Both Cameron and I know you're together. And I must say it's about time."

Hunter laughed, but Harrison looked terrified. "Yeah, it's about time you two got together. You've always been stuck together like glue." Cam chimed in.

"You won't tell anyone will you?! I really don't want this getting out." Harrison said nervously.

"Of course not! That's for you guys to tell. I wouldn't do that to friends, obviously." I said, assuring them I wouldn't tell their secret.

"Oh, thank God! Harrison was freaking out that people would tell. Ashley and Catherine already know. I'm not sure about Lauren, Chelsey, Nick and Blair. I don't think they've figured it out yet."

"Blair knew I was gay before I did. She may already know about you two." I told the both of them.

"I don't even think they'd care, honestly." Cameron said also, echoing me.

"We should tell them though. I say at lunch, we all go to Zano's Pizza and just tell everyone." Harrison said, looking at Hunter.

"You sure you're ready for that, babe? You really wanna take that step?"

"Yeah. It's time. We've been together for 2 years. It's been due."

"It's set then. Let the girls know we'll be going to Zanos Pizza for lunch." Hunter said.

"Great! Who's the top and who's the bottom?" Cameron said. I couldn't do anything but laugh at his bluntness. Harrison and Hunter both blushed.

"Don't mind the unfiltered mouth here. He has no home training!" I said, laughing even harder, with the boys joining in with me.

Soon after, the girls came over to our area together. "Girls, we're all going to Zanos Pizza for lunch. We have something we wanna share." Hunter said to them. They all replied with fines, cools, awesome.

We all sat around talking about life in general, obviously with Harrison and Hunter remaining very quiet throughout the whole conversation.

When the bell rang for lunch, we all headed to the student parking lot and we decided that for such a big group, we'd split into two cars. Cameron, Catherine, Harrison and I decided to take Blair's car, while Hunter, Lauren, Ashley, and Nick took Chelsey's car. We took the 101 to the restaurant and took our seats in one of the huge booths and waited for the waitress to take our order. Since Chelsey and Catharine were vegetarians, we decided to order two pizzas, one with the loaded toppings and one with just black olives and mushrooms. We made small talk before our pizzas were ready and joked around. Around 15 minutes later, our pizzas and drinks arrived. We dug in, me especially. I hadn't eaten dinner last night and I barely ate breakfast and it was taking a toll on my belly.

I only eat cheese pizza, so I ate the vegetarian pizza because it had less toppings on it. I practically ate in silence, being so hungry. I didn't even realize it.

"So, everyone, there's a reason we wanted to bring you here today. Away from all of the madness at school," Harrison started out.

"Something we need to discuss that's very important to the both of us." Hunter continued. Harrison looked very nervous, so Hunter stepped in.

"Harrison and I have been dating since the middle of sophomore year." Hunter said looking at the girls.

"Oh, I already figured that out when you two began dating. I just never said anything. Congrats on coming out to us though!" Blair said plainly.

"Cam and Trace told us you might have known. How did you figure?"

"Oh, I was probably a gay man or a drag queen in a past life. It's nothing big. I just see the way that you two act around each other and how you're so protective of each other and I pieced it together," Blair explained to him.

"Well I certainly didn't expect that, but I'm happy for you guys," Nick said, punching Harrison in the shoulder.

"I didn't either, but I'm glad you two are happy. I always wondered why you two were always so close, but Ashley would always say you two were just friends." Lauren chimed in.

We all laughed and it turned out to be a great moment for all of us. We had to leave and take the rest of the pizzas out in boxes.

We headed back to school and in class, we all joked around some more, bagging on each other, just being silly the entire time. I had a great day today, even with the awkward Christian thing that happened about 2 hours earlier.

Cam and I went to our Economics class after the bell rang. Economics just made sense to me, especially with my dad being in the financial business. We learned the basic concept of supply and demand; when an object is in demand, the supply is usually limited so the price goes up and when the object is in a large quantity, the price goes down. It was basic common sense. Like oil and gas prices. We ain't got that much so the prices keep on rising. The most obvious example. We did a few more examples and then it was off to the last class of the day. Finally!

Ms. Carey didn't disappoint today with her strange hippie getup. She had flower clips placed randomly throughout her hair, a flower top, and another long billowy skirt. Today, we talked about modern relationships and friendships and communication. We also took a personality quiz on what our ideal relationship style is, what kind of friend we are, and what our communication style is.

Turns out, I'm an idealist dreamer when it comes to love, the loyalist friend, who values loyalty over everything in a friendship, and my communication style was a speaker/listener rather than a writer/reader.

When it came time to read our results from all three quizzes, I wasn't too shocked at my best friends answers. Cameron's relationship style was friends with benefits (no surprise there), he was a speaker/listener communicator, and he was the adventurous fun friend. Definitely suited him.

Blair's results were the romanticist lover relationship, the compassionate friend and the speaker/listener communicator. Very her.

What did shock me was Christian's results. He too was an idealist dreamer in love and relationships, a speaker/listener, and he was the social butterfly friend.

Ms. Carey had us read our results out loud because she said it helps us get to know each other on a deeper, more personal level. She was so odd, with her sugary sweet voice. Finally, the bell rang and I gathered my things and headed out of the door.

"Hey, Trace! Wait up a minute," It was Christian calling me. I stopped walking to wait on him. "Are we still on for tonight?"

"Yeah, of course. You have my number, just give me a call." I said walking off.

"Great! I still meant what I said yesterday." He said giving me that irresistible smile.

"About what?" I asked him confused.

"The beautiful package..."

"Oh, okay. I'll remember that." I couldn't help but smile back.


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