From tgs-talk-owner@nienor.in-berlin.de Sat Aug 9 23:49:07 1997 Return-Path: owner-tgs-talk@nienor.in-berlin.de Reply-To: chelonis@concentric.net X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.0 (Win95; U) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: tgs-talk@nienor.in-berlin.de Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Sender: owner-tgs-talk@nienor.in-berlin.de Precedence: bulk X-No-Archive: yes X-Mailing-list: tgs-talk
Okay, since someone did a Gilligan story (and it was a good one too :), here's my Munster story. This one is based on episode #33 of The Munsters entitled "Lily Munster, Girl Model." Anyway, here it is.
- Cleo
<-------------------cut here-----------------------------------------> Note: Munsters, the Munster concept and characters were created by Norm Liebmann, Ed Haas, Al Burns, and Chris Hayward. This is merely a fictional depiction of characters using the old theme. No intent was/is made to take ownership of Munsters, it's concept or characters in any way shape or form.
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MUNSTRUS POTION By Cleo Kraft
----------- Being Eddie Munster wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Oh, sure, pop was pretty famous down at the morgue and all but who was I? I was just an insignificant kid.
Grandpa? Well he was the mad scientist of the family and there was no way I could ever compete with his potion recipes.
Mom? Well, after all, she was pretty busy with all the housework and that sort of stuff but even she was recognized for her position in the family.
Marilyn? What can I say? We all joke about her looks but most outsiders don't seem to mind at all.
Well, I had my problems. Being a handsome young Munster in a world full of ugly people was never easy for me. People noticed me everywhere and for some reason the girls at school kept their distance from me. I don't blame them, after all I'm the only normal kid in school.
Anyway, I was in High School now and things hadn't changed much. I was desperate for a date for the prom but none of the ugly girls would have me. I couldn't believe it. After all, I was the best looking guy in town.
So I went down to my grandfathers lab to see if he could help make me ugly so the girls at school would accept me.
"Grandpa," I said. "I can't seem to land a date for the prom. Is there a potion or something you can concoct for me to help? Something to make me ugly like all the other kids at school?"
"Hmmm," he said and began to take stuff off his shelf."Let's see...to get a date you need to be ugly, like them....."
He tossed something into a black kettle.
"Next," he continued. "You need a good heart, a dash of charisma, charm, know-how, and a few drops of humor just for personality."
He tossed a bunch of stuff into the bubbling kettle.
"Let's not forget that to win a gal's heart you have to be able to be in touch with your feminine side," grandpa said and carefully measured a drop of liquid into the pot.
I watched him set down the bottle he took the liquid from.
It read "Feminino" on the side label.
"Grandpa!" I heard mom calling from upstairs. "Telephone for you!"
He was gone for a few minutes and then came back.
"Okay Eddie," he said. "I've got to run to Translvania real quick but I want you to drink up all this potion when you're ready to go ask a girl on a date. Take care and stay out of trouble. I'll be back in a few days."
I watched him walk up the stairs and I heard him puff out of the living room and listened to the squeak of bat noises as he flew out of the house.
I looked at the pot of potion.
"Feminino..." I said looking at the little bottle nearby.
I took the feminino bottle and added a few tablespoons more of it.
"If a little is good, a lot is even better," I reasoned aloud.
I then sat down and drank down the bubbly liquid from the kettle. About a minute later I felt like I exploded.
There was red smoke all around me for a minute.
When the smoke cleared I was no longer myself.
I sat there in the chair with my legs crossed - lady style.
This struck me by surprise because I looked down at the dress I was wearing and realized I WAS a lady - or a young woman anyway.
I got up and looked in the mirror.
"I'm Marilyn!" I exclaimed with my hands on my face.
I felt my smooth face and gasped in wonder and shock at the person I'd become.
But Marilyn was in France at an art college.
I walked up the stairs careful not to trip in my high heels.
"Why Marilyn!" Lilly said. "It's so good to see you're back!"
I got hugged.
"Uh...Hi Lilly," I said nervously.
"We kept your room like you left it," Lilly said. "So you can stay here while you're on your school break."
I looked around feeling embarrassed.
I was shown to my room and then after a long talk with mom over some spiderweb tea, I made an excuse to get out of the house.
I sat out in the garden for at least six hours or more, went back inside and got into Marilyn's bed feeling quite unsure of my new role. Boy was I ugly now!
Then I went to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night and was my normal, adolescent male self again.
I snuck through the hall and went into my own bedroom and was soon fast asleep.
When I woke up, mom was pretty worried about where Marilyn went off to.
After breakfast, I went down to grandpas lab.
I studied how the potion was put together from one of grandpas books and then I took his catalogue and went upstairs and filled it out to order my own supplies.
I was going to start my own science lab right out of my closet.
A month later I was in business as a mad scientist. Mom found out Marilyn was in France again (still) and nobody was any the wiser.
I never got that date for the prom but I had something more interesting.
I had a way to make myself into a girl so I could fit in with the crowd of other ugly people around town more easily.
At first I just used the potion occasionally and went to the beach, hungout at the mall, or went to other places around town as a girl. Then I started hanging out at bars and nightclubs.
It wasn't long before my double life caught up to me and I had to make a decision.
It was grandpa who found out.
"Now Eddie," he said to me in a girls voice (he had to try my potion to see what it was I was making - that's how he found out). "Naughty, naughty! You have to make a choice, Eddie. Either you're a girl or you're a boy but you can't keep switching back and forth. Whatever choice you make, I'll support you in it."
"But grandpa," I said to the girl. "The potion is temporary."
"I can make it permanent," grandpa said. "But you have to decide."
So I opted for the ugliness.
If it's any consolation, at least I got more friends.
Grandpa forbid me to ever enter his lab ever again and he took away all my potions and equipment for making them. If anything got me mad it was grownups taking toys away from kids. Someday Grandpa was going to get what was coming to him.
So I planned and plotted until I came up with another batch of formula. I even managed to mix in some of Grandpas permanent potion into it.
My plan had to be perfect.
Lilly was cooking roast buzzard again and I slipped some of my potion into the gravy. Boy did Grandpa ever love gravy!
We all sat down for dinner and everyone began to eat.
Grandpa poured some gravy over his food and then Herman took the gravy dish.
"No, Dad! You don't want to do that. Too much gravy. You need to be careful about your diet," I said trying to prevent him from ingesting the potion.
He gave me a smirky look and huffed and said,"Now Eddie, I'm the bread winner around this place. I work long and hard down at the shop. Though, you know, business has been a little dead lately. Anyway, I'll do as I please. Besides, Grandpa had some."
"Okay," I said. "But don't tell me I didn't warn you."
"Pass me the gravy," Lilly said after Herman finished drowning his plate with it.
I figured a little of this potion wouldn't hurt mom so I let her have all the gravy she wanted.
Everyone began to eat.
"Um, Eddie, why don't you have some gravy too?" Herman said reaching for the gravy dish and leaning over me. "Here, just say when."
He poured the rest of the gravy all over my plate and tossed the empty container behind him through the window.
Glass shattered everywhere.
"Brilliant son-in-law," Grandpa said. "Such coordination, you big baboon."
"Baboon?" Herman said glaring across the table. "If anyones a monkey around here it's you with your stupid hanging upside down all the time."
"Baboon," Grandpa said again and continued to eat.
"Monkey, monkey, monkey!" Herman said stomping his foot under the table and pointing at Grandpa.
Pots and pans fell from the kitchen wall as the room shook.
"Now lets stop this argument at once and finish our meal," Lilly suggested in a stern voice. "I'll have no more of this at the table."
"HE started it!" Herman said pointing to me. "I mean, SHE started it!"
"I don't care who started this, just everyone shut up and eat your dinner before it gets warm," Lilly said.
Herman mumbled under his breath and looked over at Grandpa.
"Monkey," Herman mumbled and took a bite of food.
"Baboon," Grandpa said and coughed to disguise his statement.
Grandpa began to cough more noticeably and his body twitched all over.
"See what happens when you talk with your mouth full?" Herman said pointing and laughing. "Hah-hah! Now who's the baboon?"
Then Herman began coughing and shaking all over.
"What's going on here?" Lilly asked clutching her throat and coughing.
Everyone looked at me accusingly as I hadn't touched my food.
"She poisoned us!" Grandpa said. His body was transforming quicker and quicker now.
Herman and Lilly were also undergoing transformation from the potion-laced gravy.
Moments later three young women sat around me looking bewildered at what happened to them.
Herman stood up, now a blonde girl, and looked at me.
"I'll kill you!" Herman said lunging for me.
"No you won't because I will!" Grandpa said scrambling around the table to get at me.
The only escape was through the back door.
I opened it and ran outside with Herman, and Grandpa chasing after me.
"It's permanent," I said laughing as I ran out of the yard and down Mockingbird Lane. "You are both girls forever, just like me!"
I kept running, laughing all the way down the street.
Boy we were an ugly family now but at least we'd be popular with the neighbors for a change.
"I'll kill you," Herman yelled running in ill-fitting clothes.
"Out of my way baboon!" Grandpa yelled shoving Herman aside. "I have to strangulate your little brat."
I laughed back at them and ran through some trees and into the graveyard.
Gravestones danced past in a dizzy blur. Leaves were falling to the ground in a wash of golden color and the wind blew strongly through the trees.
Birds sang and their songs guided me through the maze of stones and back out onto the street.
Life was good now.
With a smile I kept running.
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- (c) Copyright 1997: Cleo chelonis@concentric.net. If you want to post this anywhere else, please ask the author for permission first. Thank you --------------- The discussion list for Transgender Fiction ------------------- for help write to: tgs-talk-request@nienor.in-berlin.de to get human help: nostrumo@nienor.in-berlin.de
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