"I don't like this."
I coughed on my French fry and stared at Erica. "What are you talking about?"
"It's pretty obvious he's using you, Joe. The guy is horny and can't get any, and instead of resorting to his right hand, he's using you as his personal Fleshlight. That's not right."
After Russ' not-altogether-unwelcome intrusion into my room seeking another quality blowjob, I decided to bring at least one friend into the fold by seeking their advice. Erica was the one I felt safest about approaching, mainly because I knew that unlike the gay guy friends I had, she wouldn't ask for lurid details or if I was willing to set up a camera to record the next session. I also thought she was fairly open-minded about sex; the negative reaction surprised me, and my open jaw showed it.
"What do you mean?" I asked. "It's not like he's coming into my room at night and raping me."
"The first time you gave him head, he was drunk and horny. The second time, he sounded just plain horny. Where's the appreciation for you as a willing partner? Did he even offer to reciprocate?"
"Well, the second time, he told me to... take matters into my own hands. He didn't think about it the first time."
She dropped the fork in her salad and crossed her arms, frowning as she looked square in my face. "And you're okay with that?"
I shrugged. "I enjoyed myself." It was the truth. It was also the truth that, while not suffering tunnel vision as a result of a fog of lust, I thought it would've been nice of him to return the favor, maybe offer a couple of tentative swipes of his tongue on my shaft, or at the very least jerk me off. The likelihood of either scenario happening was about as probable as me winning the lottery. Both times had primarily been about getting his rocks off and not mine; my orgasms were afterthoughts. Russ didn't even tell me to jerk myself off until well after he already forced his cock down my throat and teabagged me.
Erica shook her head. "That's not really what I mean. Where is this going? Are you okay with being some straight guy's willing mouth until he drops you and goes back to his ex, or whoever decides to crawl into his bed?"
Before he came on to me (in more ways than one), Russ had just been my roommate. The past few days where he seemed to be making an effort to spend time with me, and get to know me, allowed me to get to know him as more than just a roommate. He was a good guy, and I liked him. Any girl would be lucky to be with Russ. But, when it came down to it: what did Russ think of me as someone beyond his personal cocksucker? There was no guarantee he was feeling the same warm fuzzies I did when he sat next to me on the couch to watch some movie, or hand me a slice of pizza, and those warm fuzzies weren't entirely a result of blood rushing to my smaller head. I wouldn't turn him down were he to offer to take me out to dinner before taking me to his bedroom for more than just head. He might be open-minded, but that didn't mean he wanted me for anything more than what I already gave him.
I sighed. "Can't I just enjoy myself while I still can? You don't need to remind me about the shoe dropping."
"But that's exactly what I need to do!" Erica cupped my face and shook it as if I were a particularly effervescent puppy. "Look at that face! You could get out there and find any guy you want to give you what you deserve: a good fuck! Russ, as hot as he is, doesn't sound willing to give you that. You deserve better than him."
I knew she was right; I just didn't want to hear it. It was the sensible thing to do to protect myself from falling harder only to splat in a huge mess on the hard concrete that I knew was at the bottom. Russ could offer a hard cock, but he couldn't give me anything more than that.
At Erica's insistence, on Friday night, we all went out to the local gay club. I had enjoyed myself there a couple of times before all the stuff with Russ started, but never did I make a pass at anyone, or feel pressured to go home with a guy. Erica was determined to change that.
"Ooh! What about him?" she motioned to what amounted to a vaguely male-shaped silhouette walking past our table, his visage obscured by the club lighting, or rather, lack thereof. "He might be Mr. Right Now!"
"Erica, now you're just pointing at every guy in the club and calling him 'Mr. Right Now.'"
On my other side, one of my friends, Colin, shrugged. "She's kind of right. You're not even trying."
"I don't see you getting out there and trying to find Mr. Right Now."
"I'm good where I am." He adjusted his glasses before sipping his Coke. "It's more entertaining to watch you two. You're just being a wet blanket and she's trying so hard to get you laid."
Jesse and Duke, panting heavily from their insistent bumping and grinding on the dance floor, scooted back into our booth. "What's happening?" asked Jesse, downing a glass of water.
"Joe just wants to go back home to his straight roommate instead of getting a quality fuck from any one of these eligible bachelors," pouted Erica.
"I still say let him be a happy little fag," said Duke. "You don't get that kind of straight boy dick on the regular every day."
Jesse nudged Duke. "Gonna kiss and tell about your own straight boy dick experience?"
Duke's hand moved conspicuously underneath the table. "I can show you instead when we get out of here."
"C'mon, guys, I need to catch up on sleep this weekend," said Colin as he visibly blanched. "It's been a rough week."
Jesse winked. "He can stuff something into my mouth to keep me quiet."
Erica grunted in frustration and grabbed my hand as she edged out of the booth, dragging me along. "We are going to find you some grade-A gay dick on the dance floor whether you like it or not." I protested but Colin pushed me along, and I tried to shoot him a dirty glare but Erica and I were quickly swallowed up the anonymous mass of men and women dancing to the rhythm of the thumping beats overworking the subwoofers. Everywhere I turned, I could only see the same vaguely defined dark outlines, occasionally lit by a strobe light or flash of someone's camera taking a photo. How Erica even thought this would be a good idea, I had no clue; I couldn't see anything. She could pimp me out to some truly lecherous chickenhawk, or a poor guy who couldn't control his sweat glands or acne, and I'd go running back to my place between Russ' legs; they would be gay, probably, but neither imaginary man had anything on Russ. If I had to sleep with someone, I'd rather know what they looked like first.
I lost Erica in the pulsating throng. It was overwhelming, being on my own in a space that I didn't want to be in. I lamely tried to push my way out towards where I thought our booth was but then felt a pair of hands from behind grip my waist. "I know you can dance," a voice shouted in my ear; if it was meant to be seductive, the effect was lost due to the need to shout just to be heard over the music.
I turned and was chest-to-chest with a guy. Given the purposeful semi-darkness, it was hard to see what he even looked like. His hands firmly planted on the small of my back, he began gently grinding his hips against mine. I thought it interesting that he didn't want to do it in time to the music; it was comically out of sync with everyone else's movements. As if by instinct, I followed his lead, and realized that he had actually been moving in time, but at a slower rhythm, only to gradually increase tempo to catch up to the music as I warmed up to him. I had to admit that that was a fairly suave move: he eased me into dancing with him.
I gripped his head and pulled it close to my mouth so I could ask, "Do you do this with everyone?"
"Only the hot ones," he replied.
I turned around and pressed my ass against his crotch, noticing his prominent bulge. He wrapped his arms around my torso, as if being protective, and we danced. I could feel his hardness, and there was no way to mistake the message he was trying to send: he was into me. Maybe it was the hedonistic club atmosphere itself, or the rush I got from imagining I was on my knees in front of Russ, but I felt pretty sure I was into him too. It had been awhile since a guy fucked me, and I wanted to feel that again. Erica was right: Russ couldn't give me everything I wanted--no, what I needed.
I turned around and leaned into his ear. "Your place, or mine?"
"I live in the dorms. Do you?" I understood what he meant; maybe he had a roommate he didn't want to disturb with sounds of two guys going at it. I could sympathize.
"I have an apartment off campus. Do you wanna get out of here?"
At that moment, a camera flash went off in our direction, and I could see his face: cute in a frat pledge bro kind of way, full head of hair, kinda big nose, nice smile. I could do worse. It was the kind of face I didn't think I would mind seeing while I was on my back.
When we got back to the apartment, it didn't look or sound like Russ was home. I reminded myself that maybe he was getting over Paige by going out and banging some chick in his car in a parking lot behind a club, the windows fogging up as it rocked from side to side. Or maybe he was at Paige's apartment right now, going down on her after he reminded her how good he was with his tongue. I shook my head to clear it; there was no reason to think about Russ while I had a guy willing to get in my bed.
"I'm Cody. What's your name?" he asked as I led the way to my room.
"Joe."
Cody boldly pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me. "Joe. What're you into?"
"I'm a bottom. I like giving head. I--ugh." My spiel was interrupted by his hand sneaking into my jeans and underneath the waistband of my underwear, stroking my hard dick. "I also like what you're doing."
Cody nuzzled my neck and his other hand traveled under my shirt, feeling my slender frame and sensitive nipples. "This too?" He lightly bit at the area just underneath my Adam's apple and I hissed in appreciation. He kissed me as he undid my belt and pulled my jeans and underwear down, freeing my dick before engulfing it in one swallow. I moaned, and once again thought about how Russ wasn't doing that for me.
Even as good as the head was, and as much as I appreciated the effort Cody was putting in to making sure I felt good, something still felt off. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying myself, it was that I constantly compared him to Russ, and in that regard, he was going to fall short. I knew it wasn't fair to Cody. That flare of intensity, that heat, wasn't there, as much as I wanted it to be. And I tried. I tried to appreciate his body as he took his clothes off--smooth shaved chest, abs that proved he didn't slouch on taking care of his body, a girthy cock that looked like it would be fun to sit on--but I kept thinking instead about Russ' musculature and hairiness, how much I wanted it to rub against my own smooth chest as he thrust into me.
Even just a month ago, I'm positive I would've been over the moon that an attractive guy like Cody wanted to sleep with me. And yet...
"Mm, you like that?" he asked from behind me as he inserted a second lube-slick finger into my ass, curling both towards my prostate and causing me to arch my back like a bitch in heat.
Okay, even if he wasn't Russ, at least I could feel good for the moment as I rode a thick dick to a cum explosion.
It didn't take much for me to push all thoughts of Russ to the back of my mind as Cody bottomed out in me. I hissed from the mixture of pleasure and pain, and Cody's fingers traveled up and down my back as a sign of reassurance. I reached back to grip his thigh to signal that I was ready for him to move, and as he did, the pain moved entirely to pleasure. I tossed my head back and groaned loudly, enjoying the feeling of that thick cock deep within. Cody even reached underneath me to grip my leaking member, timing his strokes with his experienced thrusts. He knew what he was doing if the sounds coming out of my mouth were any indication of prowess.
Then, a cough from the doorway. I felt Cody freeze, and our heads whipped to the source of the noise.
It was Russ.
"You guys, ah, enjoying yourselves?" he asked, that same shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
Cody pulled out and attempted to cover himself up. "Shit, man! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I moaned in spite of myself from the friction of his cock, and then felt embarrassed despite the moments I had already shared with Russ. He had seen my face covered in jizz; how worse could it be to see me with a fat cock in my ass?
"Well, I came home, and heard a lot of loud moaning from Joe's room, and I thought he was either watching porn or brought home a guy. I see it was a guy. Plus, you two forgot to close the door.
"But don't let me stop you!" Russ held up his hands as if in surrender. "Keep doing your thing."
A few seconds went by. Cody stared. "Aren't you going to leave?"
Russ cupped his bulge. "I never said I was going to."
Cody looked down at me. "Seriously?"
I shrugged. In truth, I was suddenly turned on at the thought of my roommate watching me have sex. My dick twitched and I could feel a pearl of precum drip onto my sheets. "I'm okay with it if you are."
"Just pretend I'm not here," Russ said. "I just want to be a fly on the wall."
Cody hesitated, then said, "Well, if you guys are okay..." His cock penetrated my ass once again and I groaned at the intrusion. Instead of being completely into the proficient dicking Cody offered, I found myself wanting to focus only on Russ. He grinned at me as I took Cody's cock, slowly stroking the outline of his member pressed against his jeans. It was almost as if he were showing it off to me, reminding me of its size, taunting me about what I wasn't getting at that moment.
Russ unzipped his jeans and tugged them down, freeing his heavy cock. Cody heard the sound and whistled as he saw what Russ was packing. "Damn, man, that's a nice cock." I could see a bead of precum drip to the floor and I reflexively licked my lips. I wanted to taste him again, even as an already good cock was pumping into me.
I only wanted Russ. He knew it from the way I looked at him.
And I think he returned the same hungry glare.
Russ kicked off his shoes and jeans, padding over to us on the bed. I eyed the bobbing member just inches away from my face. Russ said, "Keep doing what you're doing. I'm just going to enjoy myself too."
He kneeled on the bed in front of me and guided my head towards the cock I truly needed. I inhaled his musky aroma before swallowing his cock, an electric current dancing all over my skin as I hummed in appreciation. Now, not only was there a cock in my ass, but one in my mouth. I bobbed up and down to match Cody's rhythm, and my hand flew over my own aching dick; I wanted to cum so badly, but also I wanted to stave it off. I didn't want this moment to end. Not only was Russ offering his cock to me, but he was doing it while another guy plowed me. The sensation was overwhelming.
Russ egged me on with grunts and insistent groans that sounded like "yeah" and "like that." My tongue serviced his shaft as he tangled his hands in my hair, then he held my head in place as he began skullfucking me. It was almost too much; I could feel myself tearing up from the intensity and he stopped and muttered a quick "sorry," allowing me to resume a pace that didn't punish my throat beyond what I was comfortable with. I looked up towards his face and his gray eyes bored into mine. A grin grew on his face as he said, "You like that dick, baby?"
The word reverberated through me. "Baby." It was intimate, sensual. It was what I needed. I gripped my cock and moaned all around Russ' cock still in my mouth, shooting my release onto the bed.
Russ quickly pulled back and stroked furiously. "Open up." I obediently stuck my tongue out as the first jet of cum landed on squarely on it. I took his cock back into my mouth and felt each pulse ejecting the sweet liquid before swallowing. Russ could only groan, gripping my head as he rode out his orgasm.
Cody must've liked what he saw because he too came, pumping into the condom. His hands gripped my waist, and I was only vaguely aware of it because I was still enjoying Russ' cock in my mouth. It was only when Cody pulled out that I gasped around Russ' shaft, and then Russ pulled out too. I suddenly felt empty, but it wasn't what Cody offered that I wanted more of.
Russ ruffled my hair, then cupped my face and leaned in to brush his lips against mine.
I almost came again as a flare of heat burst through my body.
He pulled away with a knowing smile. "Good night." Russ gathered his discarded jeans and shoes and hummed to himself as he went to his room.
Cody rose from the disheveled heap he melted into on my bed. "You and your boyfriend are kinky freaks. Why didn't you tell me you wanted a threesome? I would've been down from the beginning. You're both hot together!"
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Seriously? Him? He's available?" Cody eyed the empty doorway, no doubt formulating a plan to seduce Russ.
"Not really. He's straight."
"No guy who barges in and jumps into the middle of two dudes to turn it into a threesome is that straight."
Cody had a point. Regardless of how Russ defined himself, that was the third time he let me suck him off, and on top of that, he gave me that brief, almost chaste kiss. It was also entirely possible that I would end up the stereotypical tried-the-other-side college fling, and I would be left picking pieces of my heart off the floor if I let myself get any deeper than I already was.
Keeping him at arm's length would be the only way to make sure I didn't get hurt.