It was a strange thing, that.
His constant piercing smile of white that curved its way into my heart every time I saw it flash. A glimmer in the eye and the sweep of a girl's feet. It had always been like this. He got the girl and I sat alone. Normally it wasn't at a wedding. There was only one chance for it to be like this, sitting while he talked to friends and family. Hoping he'd make his way over for a moment. I fixed my tie uncomfortably and considered just throwing my coat on and leaving. But, he wanted to see me. He didn't hate me anymore, although I can't say that feeling was mutual. A constant simmering feeling stays inside me as I drag my finger across the lavishly expensive glass. I didn't believe he could afford such a thing. Shows what I know. It was such a marvellous thing.
He got the girl and mine had been gone with him to only replace the heartache. It started maybe eleven years ago. No, twelve. I remember it because I had twisted my ankle on a ride home and he had helped. I'm not sure what has changed over the years. He was sweet then. He picked me up and basically carried me. Sweet and strong, I hate myself for it but I cannot blame myself for swooning like Catherine swooned now. He was tall, a year or two older than me. He had pale skin and eyes a lapis blue, hair coloured like a sodden banana, a light brown. I would come to find his natural lemon yellow. He had been playing and was moist with sweat when we met. He took me back into his house and we played on his Nintendo while I waited for my mum to get off work and pick me up. As I stood to leave he shook my hand and gave me his name.
Alan.
His grip was strong and I could feel myself blushing as I felt his hand. My mum stared at me strangely as she drove me home and I simmered in silence with my boylove that I don't think I quite understand. Looking back at it, she probably knew then. Tall, handsome young man touches me and I become quiet and nervous. What else could she think? Less struggle for me once I inevitably came out. I laid in my pyjamas that night as I couldn't rid my thoughts of him. My stomach churned with nervousness, confused as these thoughts that permeated my adolescent mind over this crush on a boy I had met by chance. Just like the movies.
I stared at him as he gave me a wink from the dance floor, his wife nestled into his shoulder and in his arms. I find it you could guess my feelings for the bitch in his arms. If the world was right I would be in his arms and we'd be dancing for our wedding. Instead, I'm left on the sidelines wanking off with overpriced liquor in my glass
We had kept in contact since that day. I would come to his house and we'd swim in his pool or play Nintendo or whatever. It was a while before we ever went over to my house. Mother was always out and my dad was a right bastard. When we did we didn't do much inside. Never had a game system until I was older and we lived in a flat, no pool was even possible to own. It took even longer to get permission from my parents to stay at his house. Owing to my mother's suspicion that fell deaf to my ears and my dad not liking him for being in secondary when I was in primary, even if the difference was only a year, school wise. Most of these sleepovers were standard. It always led to us crashing for the rest of the day, always waiting for our parents to sleep so we could freely cuss. Staying up all night was the least of my concerns after a day.
It was a summer break. The one before I entered my eighth year and before his ninth. We were closer. Both mind and body wise. We laid intertwined on his couch as we played on his Super Nintendo. Some impossible to win shit freeware game his mum accidentally bought. Still fun when we weren't clawing at our eyes from frustration. It was two in the morning.
'Myles?'
My name. Myles. He looked over at me from his controller as he died again. Myles with a Y. I suppose you're long for an introduction. Teasing you with it. Myles Belle. I'm from a small town in the Cascades, name unimportant. It's a mountain town in the Pacific northwest.
'Myles,' He repeated as I turned to the TV and set down my controller.
'Do you think that Catherine is sweet on me?' Awful words that reverberated inside my eardrums. I wasn't aware but this was the first pittance of jealousy I felt towards the whore. I don't believe I was aware that I loved him yet. There I go using the L-word. I shook my head.
'Bitches aren't shit.' He guffawed in response. He always thought I was funny. His personal clown. He picked up his controller again.
'Fuck it. You're right. Wasn't my question though, babe.' The pet name. Always pet names with him. Nothing romantic about it just yet. He simply loved a tease. Around this point he found himself a new type of sweet, movies about grease balls in the 1950s. Thus came the platonic pet names. 'I asked,' He continued, 'if you thought she was sweet on me. Not if I should be sweet on her.'
I shrugged.
'That's it?' He emulated my shrug. 'Just that?'
I shook my head. 'I dunno. I don't think I've ever looked at Catherine with you in the same room.'
'Am I that good looking?' He scoffed, grinning at me. I felt my face go red. It was true. He WAS that good looking. Not that I'd tell him. I never looked at girls when he was around. Or since we met.
I shook my head as he turned back to the TV slowly. He clicked play on the television and we continued our game for the rest of the hour. We packed up a moment after and headed to his bedroom. He never had a guest room despite his seemingly lavish lifestyle compared to mine. He wasn't that rich. Alan's room always stunk of sweat. Always a jock he was, even before we entered secondary. He flicked on the TV on his dresser to some mindless comedy and turned the volume down. I chucked myself into his bed and nestled under the covers while he pulled his sleepwear on. I felt silly as I watched. I laid here in pyjamas as if I was a wee man. He was more mature. No jammies for him, just a shirt and his underwear. I pulled the blanket up and turned over as he pushed himself under the covers and we began to drift off to sleep.
Only an hour had passed once I woke up. I turned over to Alan and he was asleep, his chest rising solemnly. He was in a deep sleep. But what had permeated my nostrils in the sleep-state I was in was wonderful. A joyous musk emitting from my teenage friend's athletic body. Oh, how deeply I inhaled as I moved up closer to him, careful for him to not wake. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and gently laid an arm across his chest gently. I inhaled once more. He stirred in his sleep for a moment, mumbling to himself as he was stuck in a deep sleep. I couldn't move. I refused to. I wasn't sure what came over me but it was intoxicating. His boysmell attracted me in a primitive fashion as if he was an animal releasing pheromones and I was a mate seeking it out. I looked to my groin and found my cock was harder than I've ever felt. I whined a bit to myself as I grabbed it, I felt so sensitive. I closed my eyes and inhaled his stink again. I woke up to an empty bed and light shining through the window next to the bed. My eyes were crusted and I felt drowsy as I stood and stepped into the living room.
Alan's eyes were fixated to the television and his mother was in the next room making breakfast. It smelled like bacon. I made my way over to him, unaware of what had occurred last night. It slipped my mind. He looked up at me and smiled, giving me a pat on the bum in a joking manner and patted the seat next to him. I meekly took a seat as the memories began to flood back. I sat next to him and we watched the TV in silence.
I stood up from the table and made my way over to the booze table. Right next to the wedding cake. Triple layered with the representation of the two of them on the top. The little figurine wasn't as handsome. I shook my head as I reached over to one of the many bottles and unloaded it into my cup. It was to be a long night.
'Enjoying yourself?'
A voice called as I looked over, putting on the cap as if I'd been caught with a sweets jar. The voice belonged to Alan's father, James. I gave a lighthearted scoff as I turned over and took a sip. 'Just about. Feels like it'd be more enjoyable without all of the...' I waved my hand over to the amount of people. It didn't make sense, some of the guests. I think one of them was just some random man off the street. James nodded.
'Yeah, ditto.' He leaned against the table with me. It was quieter over here. 'Alexandria agrees. She implored...' He emphasised the word implored with a tinge of irony, '..that he would have a small party. As if that mattered to him.'
James was about as handsome as his son, if not for his age. They were all a beautiful family. His mother looked about as young as could be and James only had mild grey specks in his hair, as if he was still in his middle age. He lifted his drink to his lips and I did the same, grinning at each other as we gave a simple cheer. Alan had moved to one of the tables and was beginning to prepare for the dinner and eventual speech from his best man. As if they couldn't get stereotypical enough. They didn't completely leave me out in the cold, I was allowed to sit at the family table with them at James request. Alan barely paid me any attention. One of the bridesmaids meanmugged me as she was forced to switch seats with me. I waved nervously as I sat down. I felt out of place. If not for the peacoat i chose rather than a suit coat that made me look as if I was the Doctor rather than at a wedding, I also just didn't fit in. I never did. I seemed a terribly anxious mess that was brimming with jealousy under, compared to Alan and his family. All self assured bastards who think they're God's among men. His parents were okay, I suppose. His brothers were wankers, its as simple as that. I twisted my fingers in my hands, but a shock reverberated through my body as I felt a reassuring pat on my thigh. James could tell I was uncomfortable there. He didn't remove his hand, quite the opposite. He left it there. I could feel myself flushing red as if I was a twelve-year-old boy again.
Fucking Wright's.
'Look at you! Thought you'd be paying taxes by now.' James pinched my cheek mockingly as I unbuttoned my school jacket tiredly. Me and Alan had gone to a school event together, I was his plus one.
I hate to spoil but if you were intuitive you could tell it was the last time I was ever considered his plus one. I was fourteen and had just entered secondary, Alan was sixteen and was close to leaving it. It was inevitable if I was to look upon it now. We wouldn't have ever stayed together either way. If only the next year had let happened the way it did. I pulled the jacket of my school uniform off. It was a rifle green jacket, a dark green bordering on glack. It was reminiscent of a familiar colour, I never quite put my finger on it. I rested the blazer on the chair as Alan entered another room and picked his landline off the wall. He dialled a number while James placed down a thing of fried pork chop.
'Go on. Gonna doubt they gave you a buffet of exquisite quality at some shit school event.' I nodded and thanked him as I pulled my glasses off. I didn't want to get grease on them. Precautionary. I saw the small of my reflection in them and shook my head.
I had never quite understood what was wrong with my appearance, at least before the big event. I once stood in the mirror and analysed myself, it's all I could think to do. I wasn't terribly tall, only five foot six at my peak. I was short and I was skinny, never going beyond one hundred and thirty pounds. That could point to why girls don't look at me. And then I remembered a friend, Malachi. He had. A similar build yet had shown us definite proof of him breaking in some slut at school. My hair was an uncommon colour. A strawberry blonde. Alan always joked it was simply made to make gingers feel better about themselves by calling them blonde. My hair was a light orange, or an orangish blonde. Glass half empty situation I suppose.
Maybe it was the length. It was always long. Never in that seattle hippie type of way, no. Never past my neck. But, it was never short like the other boys. The wavy messy attached itself to my head like a bush. Perhaps it was just how I looked in general. I was always told I looked younger than I should. I never grew any hair outside my pubes or armpits in any major scale and even in those areas they were small patches, never growing like the other boys. Those that were there were nearly invisible against my pale skin anyway, a constant peach fuzz. Maybe they had a point. Maybe the girls at school were just afraid they'd be charged with something if they were caught kissing me.
'Alan! Bastard! Get in here!'
Alan called back, 'I'm on the phone!'
'So?'
'What so you mean "so?"'
'You've got a guest! Time to eat anyway!'
'Whatever.'
He huffed as he stepped in and grabbed a piece of pork. I began to cut into mine sheepishly. He was upset and I had a strange, nagging feeling he was gonna put it on me.
I don't believe he actually blamed me for it. Maybe it was the switch, a combination of factors over the year or so. Like his girlfriend. Catherine. Standing in his room he mainly ignored me. He had recently gotten a computer and he simply tinkered with it while I watched TV on the bed. Suddenly, he turned in his chair.
'Get out.' He commanded, as he started at me. I looked over at him confused. 'What?' I asked as he repeated himself. Going into more depth to an uncomfortable level. 'Get out.' He repeated, 'I wanna get a quick wank off before I head to bed. You need to be heading home anyway.' I squinted at him. He was never this open before. I wasn't sure what had changed.
As I stared at him dim-eyed and confused he shrugged his shoulders. 'Fine then. Either way I'm getting off.' He turned back in his chair toward the computer while pushing his hand into his waistband. I stared at him with my eyes wide as he pushed his pants and underwear down to his knees. Revealing his muscular chest, a happy trail leading to a meat stick that was partly covered by his body. It was longer than mine, which was a given. He put on some shitty, low quality porno that took longer to load than it did for him to get the wank in.
His hands shuddered over his penis as his chest rose and fell rapidly. Each stroke was followed by my eyes. His body was amazing, a perfect sculpted marble figure. I could feel myself becoming harder as he stroked. I watched silently, a ravenous feeling coming about me as I felt my cheeks go warm, flushing as they had once before. Suddenly he stopped and looked over at me. He then flashed that grin, a grand smile. I felt my heart rise.
'If you wish to stare so much I oughta charge you, right? C'mere.' He waved and I hesitated. He patted his leg as if I was a dog. I stood and silently stepped over. I could feel my hands shaking as I stood next to him. He patted his leg, the same as he would for a normal seat. I sat on his thigh and tried to balance as he pulled his arms away and behind his head.
'Go ahead, then.' He nodded towards his rod, which at this point was in full view. It had to be at least seven inches. I stared at it with intrigue before I noticed his face. He was getting bored and his cock twitched as it began to soften.
'Right, Myles.' He gripped my shoulder, 'I'm gonna be honest. 'Cause you wanted to stay the night I missed out on getting my knob rode by Cath, so you're either gonna wank me off or I'm gonna kick your head in and leave you outside like a cat who's shit on the floor.'
The threat was nothing I would expect from him. He was almost scary in a way with the empty (or not so empty) threat. I nodded as he let go and I gripped onto the base of his cock.
I began to gently stroke his cock with long, tender strokes up his entire length. He gave a low moan of approval as I did so and he leaned back in the chair, thrusting his groin upwards slightly. I kept my eyes fixated to his crotch, watching my own hand move up and down. My eyes began to wander slightly, however. Up his chest and to his handsome face. Oh, how I felt romantic fervor to his entirety and such jealousy towards this Cathy girl. I felt out of character as I felt my fingers drift up his stick of flesh. I decided to take initiative. Like Jambo told me to.
Though, he may have disagreed with the situation.
I tentatively pushed my mouth down towards his crotch and gave gentle kicks at his cockhead before enveloping it to his mouth. Alan let out a simple moan, reaching a hand up to the back of my head and giving the name of my head a gentle rub and skirtch.
Enveloping his cock with my mouth seemed to be the last that he could take. His cock began pulsing in my mouth as I felt a spurt of semen splash against the inner walls of my throat and mouth. I pulled my head off his cock only for him to push me back down. He winced after, an unfortunate clipping of teeth had occurred. Pushing me off of his cock he cussed as I wiped my mouth.
'Bastard! Clipped my fuckin cock with your teeth!'
'...you were the one that pushed me back on-'
He interrupted me with a slap to the face as he pushed me off. I fell to my ass and off his leg as he began to wipe off whatever cum had missed my mouth with a rag. My face stung and my mouth stunk of cum, the taste was no better. But, it was his taste.