Hello, update time again (yeah I can hear you all saying 'about time!!'). I hope it's been worth the wait. And to give you an idea of what awaits (if you're even bothering to read this) this chapter is entitled "Changes". The website has been updated too so check it out http://members.tripod.com/lizard_tales. Any and all comments, critisms, questions, ramblings, etc. are welcome at lizard_tales@hotmail.com. Laters =)
the strawberry boy Chapter 9
By Jason Trower
I laid on my bed softly strumming my guitar, hadn't even bothered to plug it in. I wasn't really playing anything, my mind was definitely elsewhere. Yesterday's incident with Alex had helped me relax a little bit but it was kind of awkward. I mean there I was munching pizza and hanging out with my best friend, who I had just kissed, who now knew I was gay and in love with Aaron, and yet he acted as if nothing had changed. Had anything changed? I'm still the same old me, he's still Alex, and I'm still lonely without Aaron. But there was one significant change that I'd noticed, for some odd reason I was no longer infatuated with Alex. Almost as if the thrill of the chase was over, the games that I thought I despised I now missed. Alex knew my secret and now I know that he isn't in love with me, game over. There was only one question that still lingered on my mind, does Alex like guys too?
"Who cares," I thought to myself. My crush on Alex had already caused enough problems. I'd had the most beautiful boy in the world in my heart and in my bed and I was stupid enough to let my dreams of Alex ruin everything. I didn't know if he would ever forgive me and take me back but his confession that he had loved me all his life gave me hope. I'd already been scheming of ways to win back Aaron's heart, a romantic plan that would take place at my house during the day when nobody was home. My parents would be at work and I could easily tell Matt what I was doing and ask him to leave. It would be perfect -- too perfect. My mom had come home today to give me the "good news". She had quit her job to go back to school, night school. Now she could stay home during the day. And that was why I was there in my bedroom, absent mindedly strumming my guitar, trying to think of a new way to get Aaron back.
Of course there was the obvious solution, just talk to him. But I was too ashamed to just walk up and say "I'm sorry". I needed more then that, I needed some kind of heartfelt gift that would show him I was truly shattered and not just sorry.
Matt came into the room and sat down in my desk chair across from the bed. I waited for him to say something but except for a quiet chord now and then the room was silent. I finally raised myself up onto m elbows to look at him, but he was already looking at me.
"You said I could talk to you about anything right?" he asked uncertainly.
"Of course, what's wrong, bro?" I asked as I sat up and rested my guitar on the floor between my feet..
"I'm--I'm kinda scared. There's a guy I like, and I think he really likes me. I think he was trying to tell me," he explained gingerly.
"Like how?"
"Well, I noticed he's been looking at me a lot, he asks a lot of questions about if I've ever done stuff, like messed around with girls. He even asked me if I jack off in the shower," Matt's voice was getting progressively quieter and he was looking at my feet. I could tell there was something else to this story. I waited for a few seconds and just as I was about to ask he started again with a deep breath.
"We were playing a video game, and teasing each other. I told him to 'bite me' and--and--" he took another deep breath to gather his confidence, "he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he'd rather ... suck me."
My jaw dropped, I was totally stunned. He had to be talking about Corey.
"So? What happened then?" I asked cautiously.
"Um, well, we played the game some more and he kept moving closer to me, and ... I got scared and said I had to leave."
"You mean a guy you like wanted to give you a blow job and you turned it down!?!?" I asked stunned.
"I was scared, OK?" he said a little heated at first. "I don't know what to do, what if it turns out bad? What if he's just joking?"
I took him by the hand and pulled him over to the bed to sit next to me.
"It's OK dude," I said hugging him. "You just have to take it slow, don't do anything that you don't want. But if he does like you, and you like him, then don't let him slip away. Besides, that blond hair of his is just so cute."
"You knew it was Corey, huh?" he asked finally smiling.
"Yeah, it was easy to tell, I'm pretty sure he really likes you, and he seems like a cool kid. You're lucky to have an opportunity like this. Don't screw it up like I did."
"You didn't screw up so bad," he said picking up my guitar. "You hurt his feelings, but I know you guys are really in love. Just let him know how sorry you are, he'll take you back."
"I wish it were that simple," I said lowering my head.
"Dude, it is, just go talk to him," Matt insisted.
"Wait a minute, you're the one who ran out on an offer for a blow job, and you're telling me to just go talk to Aaron?" I managed to crack a small grin at the irony in my shy brother giving me romance advice.
"Yeah, well, sometimes it's hard to take your own advice," he said blushing slightly and strumming a single chord on my guitar. That chord echoed in my mind and I quickly connected it to a song I knew. That was it!! The way to show Aaron how I felt!! I didn't need to fumble with my own inadequate words, the words and the music had already been written for me.
"Matt, you are a genius," I said standing up and leaning over to kiss him on the forehead. His expression was one of complete confusion and he sat there silently as I took my guitar from him, put it in it's case, pulled on my Airwalks and left.
My stomach was in knots on the way to Aaron's house. I was excited but I was more nervous that he wouldn't accept my apology. What if he turned me away, deciding that I'd hurt him too deeply to be forgiven? That was a possibility, but the idea of going on without Aaron was even more painful to me. It was do or die. I took a deep breath and walked up his front steps, standing at the front door for a moment, gathering my strength. I took another deep breath and rang the door bell. Aaron answered the door and seemed surprised to see me.
"Jay, what are you--" he started to ask hesitantly, but I raised my hand to stop him.
"Don't say anything, just hear me out, I've only got one thing to say," I said as I walked past him to the living room. Aaron followed and watched as I sat down, taking my guitar from its case. I cleared my throat, breathed deeply and began strumming. Aaron sat across from me and I looked directly into his baby browns as I started to sing:
I may not be the man I wanted to I may not be the king of wit I may not know the things you need to know I may not measure up quite yet
I may not have the grace of Fred Astaire I may not have the mind of Jung I cannot buy the things you need to have But there's something you can't forget
I love you. I love you through the fires and all the hell It's something I cant stop I love you
I would have continued but by then Aaron was crying. I put my guitar aside and walked over to him, taking his hand in mine and standing him up. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug and sobbed on my shoulder.
"I love you Aaron," I whispered to him while rubbing his back. "Even if I could have Alex I'd choose you, you're the only one I want."
After a few minutes his sobbing began to slow and he released his embrace on me. I brushed his hair away from his eyes as he looked into mine.
"But, why did you yell his name when you were with me?" he asked still sounding crestfallen.
"Well, there's something I never told you," I began, "Alex was my first crush. I used to be in love with him, but that's over now. It was over long before that first night with you. But then he started making all kinds of hints and I guess some of my old feelings came back. It was a mistake, it hurt you, and that's the last thing I'd ever want to do. Not to the boy who has loved me all his life."
A few more tears rolled down Aaron's smooth cheeks as he smiled and he kissed me softly on the lips before giving me another tight hug.
"You remember when we were friends years ago?" he said, taking a breath before continuing. "The reason I stopped hanging around you ... is because I was in love with you. But I didn't think I could ever have you and it hurt too much to just be friends. But I'd still watch you in school, or when I'd see you and Alex riding your bikes around town. And then we ended up working together. That night when you let me hug you, and the way you watched me that first night at my house, I just decided to take a chance, and it worked. I was so happy to have the guy I've always loved. I was so hurt when you said Alex's name, I thought you were leaving me for him."
"Never," I said softly, looking into his eyes, "You're the only one for me. I love every beautiful detail about you. Your kind heart and gentle touch, your deep brown eyes, your smooth tanned skin, that red hair, you're--you're my strawberry boy."
Aaron cracked up laughing at my last remark, wiping his eyes.
"Strawberry boy? How corny is that? "he asked wryly.
I laughed at his sarcasm, then looked at him seriously, our brown eyes locking on each other. He leaned forward, tilting his head as I gave him a passionate tongue kiss. For a moment I was in heaven again, complete in every way, physically, emotionally and spiritually. For a moment anyway. Our kiss ended as his mom's car pulled into the driveway. Aaron relaxed in my arms and rested his head on my shoulder sighing.
"De ja vu, huh?" he said quietly.
"Yeah really," I agreed with a smirk. "What ya say we get outta here, go have some fun downtown, maybe cause some trouble at the Dairy Mart?" Aaron agreed with a smile and we escaped out the front door holding hands.
It was already getting late in the evening, the sun beginning to slip towards the horizon, but it was summer and there would be plenty going on downtown. We walked along Liberty Avenue, past all the shops, most of which were already closed. But on hot summer nights like these the marina was the place to be. Beach parties, all the skater boys hanging out on the boardwalk, rowdy boaters, it could quite a fun place. Normally Aaron and I would be goofing off, laughing like children and poking fun at each other, but that evening it was different. We walked along smiling but there was other feelings there, in both of us. We had been to the edge, we'd glimpsed life without each other, and it scared us. Although we were out in public and couldn't display our affection, on the inside we were clinging to each other, desperate to make sure that we never let anything come between us again. It scared me that I had let my thoughts of somebody else cause trouble at all. How could I do such a thing? Everything I could possible hope and dream of I had in Aaron. He was my angel, my love, my soul mate. And even though I didn't have his beauty or his gorgeous body or his mesmerizing aura, he still saw perfection in me! The only explanation: he was a gift from above and I decided it was best not to question it. I'd just accept this incredible boy that had changed my life and hope to someday be deserving of his love. As we continued walking past the rows of boats docked in the river I put my arm around Aaron's shoulders and pulled him closer to me and giving him a squeeze. If I was ever going to be worthy of him I would have to stand up to anything that threatened to pull us apart. What other people thought wasn't important anymore. I pulled the necklace out of my shirt and let Aaron's gold ring hang in front of me proudly.
The sun was sinking beyond the horizon, turning the lake and sky a whole spectrum of fiery colors. The scents of the harbor drifted on the wind and the sounds of summer surrounded us. But I barely noticed any of it, my heart was beating with a love so overwhelming that the whole world could melt away and I wouldn't care. And then, as we rounded a corner of the boardwalk. BAM! Aaron ran directly into somebody, knocking himself to the ground. I looked up and realized it was Chad. My fists clenched and I was ready to step towards him but he didn't move. He stood looking at Aaron for a moment then moved his eyes to his feet, almost as if filled with remorse.
"I'm sorry," he said extending his hand to Aaron, who seemed somewhat baffled by Chad's sudden apologetic attitude.
"You should watch where you're going," Chad said partially returning to his arrogant self.
"Maybe you need to watch where you're going," I said still ready to put him to the ground if necessary.
"Damn Trower you don't make it any easier do ya?" he snapped.
"Why should I?" I said becoming more incensed, "seems like it's been pretty easy for you to beat up on my boyfriend."
"You think I enjoyed that?" he yelled in my face.
"Well didn't you? Bragging to everyone at the party about how you beat his little bitch ass. Made you feel like a big man didn't it? So why didn't you enjoy it? ," I stared into his eyes, refusing to back down. But the longer I stared the less hostility I saw, until something happened that shocked me. I actually saw his blue eyes well up, a tear streaked down his face, and in a voice filled with tension, fear and anger he quickly spoke.
"Because I love him." Chad's expression faded, his eyes grew wide with astonishment and then dropped to his feet. He was both surprised and ashamed that he'd said it out loud, but he couldn't possibly be half as shocked as Aaron or me. We both stared at him not believing what we'd just heard. The rage I'd felt towards him began to subside, being replaced by sympathy, maybe even pity. Chad loved another boy, but his fear and insecurity were so powerful he'd lashed out, hurting the object of his love, blaming Aaron for the way he felt inside himself.
"Chad," I started slowly, reaching my hand towards him hoping to give him some comfort.
"Fuck off," he said through his tears before turning and storming away.
My mind was reeling from the whole encounter. It happened so fast but it changed so much in that instant. I turned back to Aaron who was still sitting on the ground in shock. I helped him up but we didn't say anything, just looked at each other, agreeing silently. We didn't even have a chance to speak.
"Hey guys, how's it goin?" I looked up to see Alex walking towards us, a giant grin on his face that told me how pleased he was to see Aaron and I back together. But we were both still dazed by what just took place and could barely say hello. Alex suddenly seemed uncomfortable, sensing something wrong. He licked his lips nervously and looked down at his foot as he kicked a pebble aside.
"I, um, I'm goin up to the arcade, I'll see ya guys around, hopefully," he said uneasily before leaving.
"Alex," I called to him as he walked down the boardwalk. He turned to look back and I smiled as I put my arm around Aaron. Alex smiled back, almost blushing before continuing on his way happily.
"What the hell just happened?" Aaron said with a tone of utter confusion.
"I'm not sure I know myself," I said. "Things are changing fast."
We moved down the boardwalk in silence, my arm still over Aaron's shoulders, his arm around my waist. We were both deep in thought as we admired the last rays of the setting sun. We walked to the end of the marina and kept going until I finally looked back, surprised at how far we'd gone. The marina's lights twinkled in the distance and the sounds of the parties there had faded to a whisper. Cars drifted along the road a short distance from the hill above the beach, but for the most part we were completely alone. I sat down against a fallen tree, pulling Aaron with me. The soft sand was still warm under us and there was a faint breeze blowing off the lake. The stars shined brightly above us in the dark, cloudless sky. It was a beautiful view, romantic and awe inspiring. Aaron leaned against me resting his head on my shoulder moving his hand in small circles around my stomach and chest.
"Jay," he said. "promise me we'll always be together."
"I promise Aaron, forever," I said as my heart swelled. Aaron tilted his head up and our mouths met in a kiss. I leaned in a little too far and Aaron fell over onto his back laughing. I hovered over him and kissed his sweet lips again, slipping my tongue between them. His hands rubbed up and down my sides, tickling my ribs slightly. I held myself up on one elbow as my other hand began to unbutton his shirt, pulling it open so I could feel his smooth chest. I began to sit up again, our mouths still locked, and Aaron rose up with me. I finally broke our kiss and looked into Aaron's deep brown eyes as my hand slid down his chest and stomach to the top of his shorts. I carefully unbuttoned and lowered them as he watched with anticipation. He kicked off his shoes so I could remove his shorts completely, then we both took off our shirts. Aaron straddled my lap on his knees bringing his chest level with my face, moaning sweetly as I began sucking his nipples. My right hand grasped his already hard cock and squeezed it, forcing him to moan louder. He was trying so hard to go slow but I could tell he wanted to just explode with passion and have wild sex. I gave him a slow stroke and it was almost too much. He stood up and leaned over me, his hands on the log behind me, his gorgeous circumcised cock pointing at my face. My hands struggled with the button on my Levi's shorts as Aaron moved his hips closer. He moved his cock head back and forth over my lips, coating them with his precum. I held my lips tight until he finally forced the tip of his member between them and slid his warm meat all the way in. It tasted so good, so warm and firm. I started sucking immediately as Aaron skillfully moved his hips, sliding his hardness in and out of my mouth.
By now I'd managed to kick my shoes away and get my socks off. My shorts were open at the front and I was about to slide them off when Aaron suddenly pulled his delicious cock from my mouth and looked down at me. He pulled me up by my arms, sat me on the log and then gave me the deepest kiss of my life. He removed his tongue from my mouth and then licked my ear before whispering to me.
"I want to make love to you Jay."
He pulled my shorts and boxers down together, slipping them off my feet and dropping them in the sand among our other clothes. We stood there together, naked under the moonlight before Aaron directed me to turn around. His hands guided my body into position, on my knees, leaning over the log we'd been sitting on. Aaron stood behind me, kissing the back of my neck. He stopped and I felt his balls and the underside of his hard cock glide down my back before nestling into my crack. He leaned over me placing his hands next to mine, his bare chest against my back as he began thrusting his hips, sliding his hard six inches between my cheeks. I moaned and whimpered, almost begging him to enter me. Aaron let his head find its way to my hole and pushed against it. I gasped loudly as the tip of his cock popped inside followed by his entire length. Within seconds I was filled with him.
His graceful hips took over, pumping away at me quickly but passionately. He wrapped one arm around my chest to hold our bodies together. His thrusts stopped and he pulled me away from the log, rolling me over and laying me on my back in the sand, all with his cock still buried inside me. I looked up at him silhouetted against the night sky, my legs twisted around his lower back He stayed motionless for a minute, except for his hand which slid down to stroke my dripping cock.
"Aaron...uh...uh...please," I begged him breathlessly.
He bent over and kissed me softly just as he began thrusting into me, harder then before. It was all I could stand. My hole tightened around him as my arms and legs clutched his body. I cried out in loud moans as I felt streams of semen rush from my balls, out my sensitive cock and between our bodies. Aaron's face winced with overwhelming pleasure as I felt his first shot fill me. He bucked his hips against mine until every drop had been emptied from him, then he collapsed over me and we held each other.
We kissed tenderly, nuzzling together until we found the strength to get up and wash ourselves in the cool water. We walked along the beach that night, barefoot and shirtless, holding hands and looking at the stars above. We barely said a word, not because there was nothing to say but because it didn't need to be spoken. We walked home together, parting with a sweet kiss outside my house. A kiss that sealed our promise.
Ready for chapter 10? Well you'll have to give me a couple weeks at least, sorry. Until then I'll see you at the website or the inbox. Thanks
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