Sunrise Projector, I "A Kept Promise" By James Kolner
Here is my first attempt at sharing my writing after encouraging words from friends. Fair warning, this is not going to be a short story at all. All the usual disclaimers apply. Do not read if you are not of age. This story is fiction as are the characters. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. If you enjoy the story, I'd greatly appreciate any words sent to jameskolnerblv@gmail.com.
It's been two months since I first moved to Los Angeles. Truthfully, I moved because I was tired of staying in one spot for so long and really just needed something else to happen in my life. I'm glad I finally got some change. Growing up in a suburban neighborhood in Glendale, Arizona was not the most exciting place in the world. It was pleasant and I didn't really have anything against it, but I did want to see and experience the world for myself a bit.
Throughout my youth I was a pretty quiet and good-natured kid. I always has a knack for music my whole life. My parents loved hearing me sing around the house or play the guitar. When I was in 7th grade I discovered electronic music through a buddy of mine. We would hang out sometimes, play video games, and listen to really interesting artists I never heard of. My personal favorite became this artist named Tycho. He made this really wonderful, dreamy music that I could always relate to the warm, desert-y area I lived in. After being introduced to this style of music, I decided to give it a try myself and attempt to make it on my laptop. I fell in love and I've been in the pursuit of music ever since.
I lived in Glendale with my parents until I graduated high school and then I decided to skip college and live in a small apartment by myself in Phoenix. I earned some money from my music, but since at the time I wasn't really going anywhere big with it, I picked up a job as a barista at a coffee shop near my apartment. That all changed whenever I was contacted by a record label based in LA that was very interested in my music that I was self-releasing up until that point. I flew to LA and had a great meeting with the label-heads. They presented me with a very good opportunity to release my next album under their label. I also realized I felt very comfortable and at home in LA. I immediately told my parents everything and they said they would try their best to aid me while living in LA, but they reasonably expected me to pick up most of the slack myself. I already had some of my own savings waiting for something like this and I was ready.
One month after my 21st birthday in April, I moved to LA. A good friend of mine named Zane was already living there and his roommate just moved out of his apartment so it was a perfect opening for me to move in with him. Zane was a graphic designer born and raised in California. We met over the internet when I commissioned him to make some artwork for one of my songs. He was really funny and dorky and we became fast friends. Appearance-wise, he's a skinny filipino guy with long hair that he always has in a bun. He likes to dye his hair a different color almost every other week. From what I observe he virtually never seems to leave his computer except to sleep or go get food. But regardless of his hermit lifestyle, I know he is someone I can always depend on.
My sexuality was never really a subject that showed up in my life often. I came out to my family when I was around 14 after they saw me holding hands with my 8th grade boyfriend. They took it very well and assured me that they loved me regardless. I was so lucky in that aspect of my life. However, I was not the most lucky when it came to my romantic life in general. My heart was broken a few times and because of that I lost interest in a romantic life for a while.
I had two previous boyfriends. My first was the 8th grade boyfriend I mentioned earlier. His name was Ian. Ian was a football jock and the only openly gay one in our school. He ended up cheating on me with another guy on the football team just a month before our 8th grade graduation. That really ruined me for a good few months. I stayed away from love in general, until I met Aaron who transferred to my high school during my junior year. He was the one that gave me my first taste of real commitment, care, and love. He was also the one who actually took my virginity. Aaron had quite the love for cars and wanted to be a mechanic. He hoped to eventually own his own repair shop and I fully supported him to chase his dream. Unfortunately, we didn't work out as an item as he was not out for a while and then whenever he did come out to his single father and told him about our relationship, his father heavily disapproved and decided to move again so that we couldn't see each other anymore. His father forced him to disconnect completely from all forms of communication to me so that we couldn't even get the chance to talk. That really broke my heart for a long time. I eventually had to get over him, but I would be lying if I said it doesn't hurt whenever I think about him sometimes. I always wonder how he's doing now.
Anyways, now I live in Los Angeles and I feel like I have a new start in life. I've spent the past 2 months here familiarizing myself with the area and getting inspired for my album. I've already made a couple of new good friends through the record label I'm now a part of. Things have really been looking up for me. I can only hope they can keep going up, but that's probably not the most realistic thing to hope for.
"Milo!" Zane yelled from the other room.
"What?" I yelled back.
"I was gonna go hang at a friend's place for Mario Kart and Smash Bros! Did you wanna join us?"
I thought about it for a second. I'm not exactly the most social person in the world. Sometimes I enjoy those kinds of hangouts, but more often I just need to recharge myself and be alone for a little bit. This really did sound fun though and Zane's friends know how to chill and have a good time. But I had some other thoughts on my mind and just wanted to fly solo tonight.
"No thanks! I'm gonna relax here for the night!"
"Yeah for sure, dude!" Zane responded. The way he said it was so stereotypically Californian that I couldn't help but giggle to myself a little.
My days tended to be pretty relaxed and solitary for the most part. I enjoyed driving out to random and relatively remote places in and near LA. Hiking was always a hobby of mine. However, my music was my number one priority, so working on music is what most of my days would consist of. I would also go to the gym around 3 to 4 days a week. My health and fitness became a bigger part of my life only within the past year or so. I was raised to always watch my diet, so conscious eating comes somewhat naturally to me, but working out and being active was something I picked up on my own. I have a pretty high metabolism so I'm definitely on the slimmer side, but I've put on some decent muscle in the past year. Because of that, I've been feeling fairly more confident in my body.
Physically, I'm alright as a 21-year old. Like I said, I'm on the skinnier side, but I'm working on getting slightly more muscular. I'm a pretty average height. My jet black hair has been getting quite long due to not really knowing what to do with it, but it's in a messy, undercut-ish style at the moment. I think I have a nice and relatively handsome face. I've got a little bit of neat, light stubble, but for some reason facial hair doesn't come naturally to me. My favorite feature about myself though is my freckles. I'm not really sure where I got them from since no one else in my family has them, but I'm not complaining. They're cute!
Anyways, tonight I wanted to do something a little different than normal. I don't really go out to bars or clubs even though I could. Whenever I would go out, I mostly went to casual bars with my friends. I've only ever been to two gay bars in my whole life and honestly I wasn't sure if they were exactly my type of thing. Bars and clubs in general aren't always my thing, but every once in a while, a good and hopefully relaxed bar sounds like a nice time to me. Tonight was one of those nights that it really did. I just wanted to fly solo, have a nice drink, and maybe stare awkwardly at some cute guys.
There's only one bar in LA that I ever kind of wanted to go to, but I was too scared to go to. It was a leather bar which tended to attract a lot of bigger and beefier guys which are also the guys who I tended to be more interested in. I'm not fully sure why I held off going to the bar even though I could have gone. However, I decided to just go ahead and try it tonight.
I got inside the bar around 9:45 or so. The place was already starting to get a little packed which I expected as it was a Saturday night. The atmosphere was pretty enjoyable to me. It was relatively dark, lustful, and grungy but had a certain air of tranquility to it. It wasn't exactly like the clubs and bars I went to before. This felt like a good place where I could just hang out and unwind. I felt good here. I made my way to the bar and stood there for a few seconds.
"What can I get you, stud?" said a very handsome bartender. He was the definition of a silver fox. A complete stunner of a man.
"Just a gin and tonic please," I replied with a smile.
"Alright! Comin' right up!"
He very swiftly and fluidly made my gin and tonic. There was some good experience in those hands of his. As soon as he slid the drink over to me, I slid him a few bucks which he just as fluidly counted and then slipped into his hip pouch. He was about to walk away, but then turned to look at me again and gave me a wink and a smirk. I playfully smiled and winked back, but it caught me off-guard and I definitely blushed too. He chuckled to himself a little and then went to help another man waiting at the bar.
I wasn't really expecting anything to happen tonight and romance or sex weren't really on my mind. I mostly just came to chill and observe. Although as time went on in this bar, my mind started to wander. There were so many cute guys here. I was honestly a little overwhelmed.
A pack of muscular, beefy guys walked in. Loud greetings between the bartenders and that pack rang through the bar. I guess they were regulars within the community here.
I made my way over to a corner of the bar and leaned against a wall and sipped my drink. I watched as men danced, drank, caught up with one another, and sometimes just started making out with each other impulsively. It was quite the show to me and I found it a bit amusing, to be completely honest.
All of a sudden, I noticed that one of the guys from that pack that came in earlier was just staring at me. He was still standing with his friends, but was looking past them and fixed his gaze right on me. As soon as I took notice, one of his friends started talking to him and he looked away.
He was quite the gorgeous man. Just a few inches taller than me, a beautiful, burly physique, a clean, short haircut, and a handsome, thickly bearded face. He looked like a dream to me. I pretty much just kept telling myself he was one.
I shook off the idea that he was interested in me because in my experience guys like him normally aren't into guys like me. I easily convinced myself that he was just wondering why I was here. That's when I noticed him excuse himself from his friends and start walking in my direction. On the outside I kept my composure, but on the inside I was absolutely losing my shit.
He stood next to me coolly and then turned to talk to me. "Hey there. I just wanted to compliment you on your hair," he said with a charmingly deep voice.
I laughed a little. "Thank you! I appreciate that," I said as calmly as I could.
"Do you mind if I touch it?"
"Go right ahead!" I was absolutely flattered.
He ran his fingers through my hair very delicately seeming to not want to mess it up too bad. Which I thought was funny as my hair is already as messy as could be. He was quiet for a few seconds as he stroked my hair.
"Wow. I wish I could grow my hair like this," he said with an adorable smile peeking through his beard.
"I wish I could grow a beard like yours!"
"You can't?"
"Nope. Trust me. I've tried." I paused for a second. "Do you mind if I touch your beard?"
He gave a hearty laugh. "Go for it, dude!"
I slowly started to massage his wonderfully thick beard. He released a small, deep groan of pleasure as I did. Which he then caught himself and looked at me slightly embarrassed. I couldn't help but laugh and then give him a cheeky look.
"Uhhh... that was weird. Sorry `bout that."
"Well, if it felt good then... I mean..."
"Yeah, you're right and it definitely did," he replied with a sly smirk. "By the way, I'm Leon."
"I'm Milo! It's good to meet you, Leon. Wow, Leon is quite the fitting name for someone that looks like you."
There it was again. His hearty laugh. It felt so warm and comforting to hear.
"Tell me about it! I was always a bigger guy, but as soon as I grew out the beard it just made even more sense! But I'd say that you're a lion too with this long mane of yours," he said as he ran his fingers through my hair again. He inched closer to me.
We stared into each others eyes for a few seconds. His hand was still in my hair. Our faces slowly started to get closer together.
"Leon!"
Both of us snapped back to reality. We took a look around the bar to then see one of Leon's friends motioning him to come. Leon turned to me again.
"I'll be back. I promise."
He made his way through the crowd to his friend. They then disappeared to another area in the bar.
I went to get another drink and then went right back to my corner. I stayed there for a good 15 minutes or so waiting for Leon. Checked my phone a few times. Just sipped my drink and bobbed my head to the music. He didn't seem to be coming back so I decided to do a little scout around the bar for him just to see where he might be.
The bar wasn't that big so I didn't have a lot of ground to cover really. I looked all around the bar, but I didn't see Leon anywhere. I also noticed that I didn't see his friend either. Nor the rest of the pack that they came with. Did they all just leave already? There didn't seem to be another explanation to me.
I guess he was gone. I knew it was too good to be true. At this point, I just started to get very sad. I downed the rest of my drink, left the bar, and decided to call an Uber back home. I wasn't in the mood to stay in that bar any longer. As soon as I arrived back at my apartment, I went to my room and crashed on my bed immediately.
Another possibility. Gone. Oh well. I'm kind of used to this by now, but I refuse to let it keep me from feeling hopeful for myself.
I woke up around 10 am. My head was slightly heavy, but it wasn't too bad. I've definitely felt worse. I went through my normal morning routine of stretching, eating, and freshening myself up. I really needed to get groceries today as I just finished off the last of the milk. Luckily, Zane thought a step ahead and had already written down a list of everything to get so my job was pretty easy.
It was a nice and sunny day outside as usual in California. I drove to the local Ralph's supermarket. I went about my shopping routine as normal. As I rounded the corner of one of the aisles, I saw a familiar face.
A kept promise. Just not in the way either of us expected.
I'm currently working on the second part to this story. If you enjoyed this, stay tuned!