Sunrise, Sunset By Lost Ship
Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters featured in this story may be based in part on actual persons, but the names have been changed. It is not the intention of the author that the characterizations be detrimental to anyone.
The views and opinions mentioned in the text do not necessarily represent those of the author. Situations and their result are for entertainment purposes only and do not represent any real event. This work is copyrighted by the author and is his sole possession.
Author's Note: First and foremost, I would like to thank Justin and the editors for making this possible for me. I wouldn't be here if not for their help. Thanks Justin, Wayne and Geoff! Secondly, I would like to thank Tom for his support and his urging me to write this story. Thanks!
(Both Justin and Tom have written stories as well! Read Justin's "Justin's Story" and Tom's "Calvin." They're exquisite!) Anyway, thanks again guys! Send me your comments. I would love to hear them. My e-mail address is "ship1510@hotmail.com." Hope you like it.
************ A Time For Thoughts
Life is full of profound mysteries, among them, Love. It's hard to explain, but everyone has a hard time doing that. Below is a song that I heard once (because it was not written in English, the rhythm might be a bit strange) and I find it very thought-provoking.......
The sky looks blue, only because the clouds are pale; And because there is no answer to what Love is,
it ripples through your heart; When you finally come to realize that,
you will know that Love and possessing are two different things; The moment when both your hearts touch will be treasured always;
Love will survive in your heart, oblivious to Time; Even if your paths crossed briefly,
memories will carry you over the boundaries of Time; Love will survive in your heart, it's path not to be swayed by anyone's decision;
If you've truly loved before, that is the answer.
My beloved friends, it doesn't matter whether you are reciprocated in your love, for all that matters is that you have given that part of yourself as the unconditional gift no one else can give. There is a time to stay and a time to move on. Different people will come and go in your life. To put it very mildly, our hearts are like an abyss and our love, endless. Do not fear that it will be exhausted, and above all, DO NOT loose hope. I know, because I've walked down that path and am still walking it.
************ Sunrise, Sunset By Lost Ship
Chapter I
How serene and peaceful everything looks. Although the waters of the lake appear to be so still and calm, the swirling mud at the bottom of the clear surface indicates that there is a strong undercurrent. What am I doing here? I really don't know. It's secluded and everything seems so beautiful. It will be some weeks before anyone finds me; and when they do, the pain will be gone. I will be dead.
I've planned to come here for some time. I had to take care of all my worldly duties before I came. This is a place I know where they won't find me. I've never brought the few people with whom I am acquainted here. I'm at peace here. And here, I will lie in peace.
As I stand on the shore watching my last sunset, I reflect on my life. So many, many heartaches, so many bruises.......
I am Keith, a Chinese boy living in Malaysia. My family has lived here for three generations. We are a typical Chinese family, with all the uncles and cousins, and have traditional Chinese beliefs, you know, the deities and stuff. I am the middle one of three sons.
From birth I had been a frail and weak child. My folks and my grandma used to tell me that. I was often sick and I was very 'accident-prone.' I broke my arm when I was six while playing with my brothers and cousins at my uncle's place. It was because my mom was not well nourished when she was carrying me. The doctors told them I had a very low calcium level in my bones; they break very easily, making my frame weak.
Because of our beliefs, my mom went to consult an oracle, a divination at the local temple. She was told that I was a special child and that I would be smart (though I never regarded myself as special), and to pay attention, "this child will have a hard time before him."
There was one other unusual thing, my birthmark. It was red in color just under my right armpit, hidden from other eyes when I'm clothed! She was told that it was special and it would keep evil away from me, but it must not be shown to mortal eyes. She didn't know why, but heeded the warning and told me to keep it under wraps. Little did she know that a gift came with it. She always remarked that it looked different from what other children had. She never had trouble distinguishing me from the other babies after she gave birth to me at the hospital.
From a young age, I had been an eloquent child; I knew how to talk about things children my age didn't. I also had a knack [for] knowing things that were about to happen. Though not a seer, I always managed to know things that were about to happen. Maybe it's a gift of prophecy, or maybe it was because I had more common sense than the other kids!
Anyway, bad luck struck our family. My dad was injured in an accident; he was run off the road in a desolate area while riding his bike to work. My mom was distraught. For days my dad lay near death in the hospital. He was in a coma for almost a whole week. I was too young to know then. Folks came to our house and consoled my mom. Everything would be fine, they said. They had no idea how sad my mom really was. The second of her three children broke his arm and now her husband lay in a coma. What could be worse?
She was your average housewife with three boys to take care of. We were not well off and did not have wealthy relatives. Needless to say, getting through life was gonna be hard! She may not have had much education, but my mom was one tough cookie! I loved her very much for what she did and I still do. She took in washing that allowed her to sustain her family. Day after day she tended to my dad at the hospital and us kids at home. In the afternoon, she collected whatever laundry was offered and washed them. Till this day, I still don't know how she survived that ordeal. For that, I love her with all my heart. It was some weeks after that, my dad awakened, but alas, he had suffered a concussion and seemed to have lost his memory........
Things were uneventful till one day some weeks later when my dad went into a fit. A couple of relatives were visiting at the time, and they were talking to my grandma while my mom did the laundry. Dad claimed that he had come home with a bag full of money and someone had stolen it. I don't want to think badly about my grandma, but what she did afterwards was thoughtless.
"You crazy idiot! All you brought home was a lousy bag full of dirty clothes!" she said. Dad went berserk! He charged into the kitchen and grabbed a cleaver. Grandma and the relatives hastily retired to her room, leaving us kids playing in the living room. Mom came out to check on the commotion and got a shock!
Although not educated, mom was wise. She spoke to my dad softly and told him she had the money stashed away in the bank for him and that she would bring it to him the next day. Slowly, she coaxed the weapon from him. God! This woman had nerve! Had she not kept her cool, her children would have been butchered along with her.
Knowing the importance of the situation, she determined what she had to do next. Being uneducated, she sought not science for her problem; she sought her faith. The next morning, she made a trip to the temple and consulted another oracle. She was told that my dad's soul had been left behind at the scene of the accident and that she had to call him back, as he was wandering in limbo. She was instructed to chant some prayers on her way there with the shirt he had on at the time of the accident, and when she returned, his soul would come back with her. I knew something was amiss and prayed hard that day. Funny thing, when she did return, my dad lapsed into a deep slumber, which sent her panicking. I guess God took pity on us, or rather her. After a while, my dad woke up and started remembering things; weakened, but sane.
Things seemed to get better after that episode. Our lives improved and dad made more money. He got a car. Needless to say, my mom was glad, as he didn't have to ride a bike any more.
Our lives were uneventful till the time I was nine years old. That was the time I had a near death experience.
It was New Year's Eve and all the women folk were busy cooking. I got bored and went out cycling; my new acquired ability at that time. I had started learning to ride about a month earlier and barely knew how to do it yet. I told my mom that I was going to cycle and she just said, "Careful, honey. We're going to start dinner soon. Make sure you come back in half an hour to shower before we sit down." A moment later, I was cycling happily down the alley and had an accident when I was returning home.
Our house is on a lane with houses on both sides. They were about ten feet apart with a shallow drain on each side of the asphalt paved lane. I tried to cycle as close to the side as I could because there were cars coming down it all the time, and with me being somewhat inexperienced with my newly acquired skills, it's better to stay on the side.
I was rounding off the end of the lane when a car came up. I moved closer to the side, but it still didn't help as the car kept closing, as if the driver was trying to run me down. Of course, I knew he wasn't doing that, but I started getting wobbly and finally got too close to the drain; where I actually rode into it and fell down. I got up after that and stood up, brushing my knees to get the dirt off. I had bruises on them, and decided to push my bike back the rest of the twenty feet to our porch.
As I neared our house, my neighbor started screaming to me and asked me what happened. I could hear her fine at that time, but later my mom told me she had asked why there was blood all over my shirt. In no time, she called out to my mom hysterically. When mom got outside, she simply exclaimed, "Oh my God!" and ran up to me. I felt weak, and cold from a dampness in front of my chest. Mom ran up to me and pressed her apron on the side of my neck, close to my chin.
I had nearly passed out, and my dad carried me to the car and backed it out of the driveway. Mom had gotten in the other side and continued to apply pressure to my neck.
In what seemed like forever, we got to the hospital and they took me to the emergency ward. Just before passing out, I heard a soft, soothing voice asking, "Son, are you okay? Don't go to sleep. Tell me your name."
When I came to my senses later, there was this young doctor next to me and he was so cute. He said, "Son, you were lucky. Had you been pierced half an inch nearer to your windpipe, we would have had to get you into surgery." My mom was crying, and I asked her what happened. She told me that one of the brakes on my bike had pierced my neck and I was bleeding very badly. Had I not been brought in a few minutes later, it would have been much more serious, as I would likely have needed a blood transfusion. I have AB positive blood type, and the hospital didn't have an ample supply. As it was, they were able to take care of me and then let me go. On the way home, I tried to ask mom what had happened in detail, but she told me to go to sleep on her lap; she would tell me about it when I felt better. I did feel better, and the young doctor was the first man I had a crush on, only I didn't know it at the time.
When I got home from the hospital, I couldn't get the young doctor off my mind. He was so soothing and assuring. I felt a strange warmth when he ruffled my hair. Kids my age had crew cuts and the feeling of his hand brushing on the bristles of my short hair felt so good. I didn't know what it was at that time. I was gay and I didn't know it! Anyway, I started fantasizing about him. Being a nine year old kid, it didn't really give you much to fantasize on.
When I was young, I always slept with a bolster. It was a pillow sort of thing, just that you don't put your head on it, but wrap your legs around it. It was supposed to keep kids from wetting their bed, but now I think it was otherwise. It is more like something to prevent wet dreams. Anyway, I started to grind my hips and unknowingly thrust my crotch towards the bolster when I slept, and I did it while thinking about him. This went on for a few months before I 'graduated' to masturbation. I didn't beat my meat then; I didn't know I could, but instead, I humped the bed. I was too young to cum, but the feeling of an orgasm still did not elude me, although they were dry ones.
I went on doing this for quite some time, and my attraction toward the young doctor changed when I saw pictures of men scantily dressed. I started to picture the young doctor half- naked, while humping my bed with abandon. My mom did not catch me until a couple of months later; I still didn't know that it was a form of masturbation. She caught me one night when my brothers went to my uncle's place out of town. She came to say goodnight. I guess the creaking of the bed gave me away. She asked me what I was doing and in my flushed state, I told her I was exercising. What a lame excuse! She told me to get to sleep and not do it again. Boy! We were a conservative family! So as to not arouse her suspicion, I opted for the next best thing; I laid on my back, pulled my blanket over myself and gripped the bolster tightly with my legs. I then pressed my hand on the bolster above my crotch and pushed my crotch forward to meet the pressure. Talk about a horny kid! As time went on, my feelings increased and I went on doing this with more zest than most young boys.
After the incident on the road with my bike, I started to feel guilty. Why had something always happened to my family when I got injured? My mom had been devastated when both incidents occurred (my broken arm and dad's accident). Now three years later, I had the brake on my bike puncture my neck and the next thing you know, my uncle who was back for the New Year had a bad case of diarrhea. He was down for a couple of days.
Now, as a sensitive youngster, I soon went into deep thought. It wasn't good, but I hated myself. I hoped to God that that was the accident that was predicted by the oracle, as I didn't need another catastrophe.
After that things took a turn for the better for some years. With dad earning more money, we were happy. I did okay in school and my folks were proud of me. However, there was a minor setback. After what happened to me, mom decided that I was a 'fragile' kid and that it was dangerous for me to be rough-housing with the other boys. She had my teachers withdraw me from all sports and physical games. To this day, I still wish she hadn't. It didn't help that the other kids started picking on me, saying that I was a 'Mommy's boy' and a 'sissy'. I ignored most of it, but you know kids, they can be cruel! I grew more reserved and people regarded me as effeminate.
Things really got bad when I started secondary school. The other boys started calling me names like 'faggot,' and 'fairy,' and they would sometimes pinch my butt. The rough ones even fondled my balls and they sure weren't making me feel good about it. Now at twelve years old, most of the guys started talking about sex, girls, pussy, masturbation, pubic hair, and yes, cumming. They horsed around, feeling each other up and before long, some asshole decided that they would strip me and see if I had balls, and whether I had started to spew like them. I didn't know what they were planning, but one day they ambushed me behind the bicycle shed at school!
I cycled to school, and we parked our bikes in a shed behind the school building. It was faster to cut through the back and go in, as there were gates at the front and back of the shed. Well, my classes ended at 1:30 PM., and this afternoon I stayed a while longer to borrow some books from the library, getting to the back of the shed at about 2 PM. By then it was almost deserted. When I turned to walk through the gate, a hand grabbed my left wrist and another was thrown across my throat. "Hey! What the.....". It was too late! Someone shoved something into my mouth. I discovered later that it was a sanitary napkin. I was pulled to the ground and another two hands held the back my head and my other wrist.
I saw the most horrifying scene in my life. There were four guys there and they had smirks on their faces. It didn't help that they were the class bullies. I started to panic and wondered what they wanted. I didn't have the suspense for long. The one standing free had a hand at his crotch and was rubbing it in a slow, obscene way. The bulge in his pants told the story. "Faggot, you're gonna have your prayers answered today." He squatted down and started to unzip his pants! God! What was he trying to do? He reached for my belt buckle and started to undo it.......
************ Continued in Chapter II