Wow! So I haven't written one of these in a long time. I kinda thought that no one cared and then I got a mass of e-mail messages asking me when more would be posted. So here it is I guess. I'm a little rusty, but gimme some slack! Also, anyone at the Chicago Supernatural Con? I was! lol ORANGE THONG! Anyways, enjoy everyone. I'll write more for sure, but I'm super busy with an actual job these days as opposed to student lifestyle for most of the time... Enjoy! Please send me any comments or questions that you've got! I loooove the feed back.
~~ Supernatural 101 -- Part 2.2 ~~
I can't really remember the last time that we spent the night in different beds. If you can without looking back, then I'll give you a medal. Seriously. I awoke staring at him across the small space between us. I exhaled, felt my eyebrows move into a saddening expression and moved the sheet off my body. Desmond was lying half covered by the thin sheet of the motel bed. His tight body framed by the light hair on his chest. He didn't wear the necklace anymore... Usually at a time like this I'd remark on how it laid perfectly in his hair, how it added to his perfection. But sadly, that necklace only reminded him of the pain that came with the part of his life before he met me. His life had changed since then. Both of ours had. And now I'm being all emotional.
"Mmmh..." Desmond stirred. An arm went above his head, exposing more of his body. It wasn't perfect. But it was to me. I stood up and took the short step towards his bed. I laid down and instinctively, his arm threw itself over my body and held me close. I slipped into a dozing slumber.
"Mr. Cetris? I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?" I opened my eyes and I was sitting on a luxurious chair in an infinite white space. Cade stood not too far in front of me, glowing blue tattoos covering his body. His white eyes stared at me. Though there were no pupils, I could tell they were looking at me. After all, there was nothing else in the area. I hesitate to call it a room, because it was not. Where were the walls? "I am aware that you feel strongly towards this fellow human. But I also feel as though his mission is far too important to have said feelings getting in the way of it."
"What the fuck Cade!?" I stood up and rushed towards him. "I was trying to get close to him. Have any idea how long it's been since we just held each other??"
"I predict from your tone approximately one mortal week. Now, shall we begin our lesson for today?" He put on a fake smile and I glared at him.
"Pulsus!" I screamed. Cade was launched into the air and flew until it was impossible to see him.
"Very good." Cade's voice came from behind me. He stood there rather content with the situation. "Though there is no air resistance here, it was still rather impressive Mr. Cetris. Very powerful."
I snorted a laugh. "Ya... Whatever..."
"Now Mr. Cetris, do not be so upset. I am only following my orders so that I can help you reach your full potential."
"Ya. And my potential with white mages had been so positive. A crazy witch and a half-angel whose idea of a good time is getting knocked around by mental spells." I sat back down in the chair. "I'd like to leave now." I crossed my arms.
"I'm sorry Mr. Cetris, but this is the only real time I have to help you along your path. The fact that Mr. Leuengo is engaging in sexual intimacy with you is forfeit to urgency of your training." Cade took a few steps towards me. As if he was proud of what he said, that it was legitimized in his mind but also that he felt it was the right thing to say.
"What the fuck?! Are you serious? We're having sex right now and I don't get to experience it?"
"I'm merely pointing out that these homoerotic emotions are secondary to your white magik training." Cade explained.
"Ya, to you!" I shot out of the chair and grabbed him by the neck, shoving him up against the wall.
"Arg!" He grunted. "Well very good Mr. Cetris. You've created a wall." As amazed as I was with my own power, I still gazed with hatred upon the `man'.
"Mmmh... That was great T..." Desmond smiled at me and I looked at him confused. "Was it... Not...? Ah what did I do wrong? Did you want it harder? You didn't say anything so I was kinda confused so I just kept going... But I mean, come to think of it you did always want it..."
"Dizzy..."
"Ya...?" He said almost expecting me to tell him it was his worst performance yet.
"I don't know how it was."
"What the fuck... Did Cade... Ah FUCK! Fucking asshole!" He turned onto his back sucking on his teeth. "I'm gonna fucking kill him. I swear..."
"Diz... As much as he infuriates me... I can't help but feeling as though it's not entirely his fault. He's just got the power. And they use it to their own ends. Just... Let's just enjoy the time we have together."
"Easy for you to say..." he crossed his arms and propped his back up on the headboard of the bed. He was jealous
"You're beginning to look green to me... But look what I can do!" I looked at the table and focused my energy, like Cade had taught me. I command the universe to allow whatever I wanted to happen to really happen. "Pulsus!" It threw the table through the window and it launched itself high up into the sky.
"Oh fuck..." Desmond got up and walked to the broken window, his flaccid member swinging between his legs. I joined him and looped my arm through his, snuggling my head against his shoulder. "No T, we gotta go, my credit card can't handle this."
"You fake every card you have..."
"Ok but I only have one under `Ernest Floppybottom.'" I laughed hysterically and slapped his ass.
"You don't have a floppy bottom. It's firm..."
Desmond grunted softly and gently slid me against the wall. "Neither do you..." His wandering hands gripped my ass. I gasped and arched my back. He took full advantage of my posture and kissed my neck, moved down to my collar bone... His hands spread my ass apart and he started fingering the stretched hole, his own cum making it that much easier to slide inside me. I moaned quietly. "You know... You never did get off..."
I could feel the cum running down my leg, he'd emptied quite the load inside me. It was thick, so it took its time getting through my leg hair, all the while Desmond forcing more and more out with each thrust of his wrist. He continued kissing my neck, collar bone and ear. The sucking sound his tongue made while it passed over my ear turned me on more than I can describe with words.
I began to rock my hips backwards at an uneven pace to his now two fingers. Desmond kept switching the angle which his fingers fucked me until I began to moan uncontrollably. Then he knew he had hit that special spot deep inside me.
He wiggled his fingers as they passed my ass hole and I started to scream. His tongue silenced me. Fingers attacking my hole and the sensation of his lips drove me over the edge and I started shooting my load all over his abdomen. That tingling sensation ran up my spine and flooded out to every inch of my body.
When my dick stopped spasming, Desmond picked me up and brought me to the shower.
The hot water oddly cooled me down from the heat I had generated while getting fucked by Desmond's fingers. As he cleaned the excess cum from my ass with a single, gentle finger, I whispered that I loved him in his ear. I felt him smile and his hands came across my back in a tight embrace. The warm water trickled down on us as we held each other for an eternity... Or until the cleaning lady kicked us out.
Desmond laughed his way to the car as I felt sufficiently awkward. "Oh come off it lad!" He said in an English accent. "Not a problem having the help catch ya snoggin in the bathroom!"
"Shut up and drive." I shook my head.
"Drive, drive, drive, d-drive..." Desmond sang the song to me as he started the car.
"You need help. Really and truly. And I'd get 75 bucks out of the deal."
"Aha but you don't have a license or a car." He winked and placed his hand on my thigh before backing out of the parking spot and driving away.
We rolled in to the small hamlet of Cherrywood not long after 3pm. It was quiet. According to Desmond, the ghost killed a virgin on the eve of every full moon. Once per month... Sometimes twice. Either way, that was too many for the Organization to let slide. But how long had this been going on...?
"Here's as creepy a place as any to start!" Desmond got out of the car and put in his ear piece. "Ya ya, suck it honey." He said, presumably to Theresa who was now in his head and giving him grief for not having the ear piece in sooner.
"Welcome to the Hamlet of Cherrywood." I read the stereotypical Ontario town sign. "Quaint."
"And freezing!" Desmond shivered and blew into his hands. "Oh shut up! You're not my mother." I raised an eyebrow at him. He made a frantic gesture directed at his ear, mouthing the words `bitch won't shut up' to me. I chuckled and began walking into the quiet hamlet.
The first thing I noticed about Cherrywood was the total lack of children. 3pm. They should be out playing around. Making snow castles or whatever the devil children make these days. Or at least tormenting each other with snowballs. But it was silent. I can't imagine the night will be though... Full moon tonight, prime `Ghost of Cherrywood' time to kill.
"So what do we know?" Desmond came up beside me with a grey scarf on.
"You look adorable."
"Oh shut up."
"No really, with your rosy cheeks and wittle scarf!" I pinched his cheeks and he slapped my hand away.
"Professionalism! Please!" He gave me a stern look.
"When the hell have you ever been professional?"
"Well isn't this the pot calling the kettle black."
"Do NOT make me go bitchy gay guy on you Desmond Leuengo. Because I will."
"Oh god..." He put his hands in his pockets and proceeded into the hamlet.
Street after street, there was silence. The odd person we saw in the windows quickly looked away. A few of the other windows glew with the light of a television in the grey sky of the afternoon. They were scared, but not of us, and they felt safe in their homes.
We soon came upon a church just off on a short side street. It was nothing elaborate or even stone... It was just a simple Protestant church with a tall steeple and white washed walls.
"Small town church. They'd probably keep old records in there. Hopefully not in the regional archives..." Desmond smiled at me. "Ready to put on a show?" He gestured to the middle aged priest sweeping snow off of the walkway to the church. I nodded and we approached him.
"Why hello there gentlemen." The priest looked up at us as we approached him.
"'Afternoon sir." Desmond shook the priest's hand and I followed suit. "We're wondering if we could have a moment of your time? Just... To talk about the town."
The priest gave a belly laugh "My friends, of course. Anything for inquiring young minds!" He dusted the snow off of his black pants and lead us up and into the church.
The one room church had about twelve pews, an alter and a cross. Very simple, very Protestant. In the corner, a stairway lead down to the basement. The priest gestured for us to sit in the second row and he moved the lectern over to us. I absent mindedly pick up a bible from the pew and thumbed through it.
"So what brings you gentlemen all the way out to Cherrywood?" the priest smiled, revealing aging teeth and multiple laugh lines that carved his face as his smile reached its limit.
"Well sir," Desmond took off his scarf and rubbed his hands together in the new warmth. "We were just wondering about your town's history. The people, local folklore, that sort of thing."
"Folklore? I think you'll find quite the plethora of information on that subject!" the priest laughed. "There's quite the legend around Mr. Gregory Banks around these parts!"
"Gregory Banks?" Desmond laughed. "THE Gregory Banks? Is he in the church records?"
"Oh my son, I can't give just anyone access to the records of the church. I'm sorry."
"Hey," Desmond smiled. "Not a problem. I was actually just thinking about something else." He shot me a look. The look told me that I should leave.
"Excuse me." I politely asked where the bathroom was. Down the stairs, first left. Perfect. The lock to the archive room picked easy enough. It was a massive room, full of file cabinets just over hip-height all labeled alphabetically. That is, except for the local newpaper collection organized by date.
Pulling out the yellowed papers, I scanned the headlines of each one for any death that seemed unexplainable or weird. I lucked out 138 issues in. On January 25, 1988 a man was killed violently. He was hung from the second story window by his own intestines by a jealous adulterer. His wife had been fooling around, and as it turned out, the man wanted her all to himself. Either way, 5 years later, the killings began. A good amount of time for a spirit to get their bearings in the physical world they once inhabited... Also long enough to become insane.
"Ugh..." I grimaced in disgust. Slipping the paper into my shirt, I closed the cabinet quietly, dusted off my prints and slipped out the door. I could hear Desmond laughing with the Priest. Telling some made up story about his days in Sunday School... I laughed to myself at the prospect.
"Ah Tim, there you are. Fall in?" Desmond and the Priest looked to me.
"No, it's a maze down there! Found what I was looking for eventually though." Desmond winked at me.
"Well then your holiness, I guess we should get going. I think I've got enough to put Cherrywood down as a supernatural hotspot. Thanks a bunch." Desmond put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around, leading me out the door.
Once we returned to the car, Desmond grabbed my face and kissed me. "Mmmm." He moaned sensually. "I needed that." I stole another quick peck on the lips. "So what did you find out?" He turned on the car and cranked the heat.
"Well this Gregory Banks guy was killed by some jealous lover. Strangled by his intestines and hung out the window."
"Was he a `mo?" Desmond warmed his hands on the heater.
"No. He was married. The other man wanted to have her all to himself."
"Well that's significantly less interesting..." Desmond faked a sigh and looked out over the dashboard. "But I guess a job is a job. Let's find out where this bitch is buried."
"Gregory Banks... Gregory Banks..." Desmond muttered at the tombstones as if willing them to become Gregory's final resting place. "I don't see him anywhere. This is pointless." He dropped his shovel and dropped to the ground, supporting himself with his elbows.
"You're just lazy." I looked over to him as I kept scanning the graves. He wrestled me to the ground. I let him to be honest.
"I've always wanted to do it in a graveyard." He smiled at me.
"Must be a hunter thing." I returned the smile as our lips pressed together. As he undid my belt I threw my head back in a lustful gasp, which quickly turned into a quizzical look. "Dizzy..."
"Ah! What??" He put his hand to his earpiece. He closed his eyes and sighed while sucking his teeth. "Theresa says that Cade says that you've found something."
"What is this grade 2?" I put my belt back together and stood up. Directly behind me was a pink granite mausoleum with the name `BANKS' carved into it. "We found it."
"Where's that place that Jimmy Hendrix was buried? I think every cemetery should have a map. It'd make this shit that much easier."
"We only have to pick a lock now, and you don't have to dig." I poked him in his sexy chest.
"Who says I have to dig??" He said in fake outrage. "Is it because I'm the butch?"
"No, it's because I'm the smart one." I winked at him as the final tumbler was jabbed upwards and the mausoleum gate swung open.
"I'm smart..."
"I know, but you're street smart." I said thrusting the spare flashlight towards him.
"That's like saying I'm fake smart. Look T, you're still a young-un and I'm a little older than you. And I've been at this a lot long..." And he froze.
I slumped over and shook my head. "Cade!"
"Wrong."
I spun around and came face to face with a familiar one, but an unfamiliar dress. His tattered clothing was gone, the dirt under his fingernails, the faint smell of blood... Ironside stood in the mausoleum, leaning against the wall in black dress pants and a black leather coat. A white shirt accented the get-up nicely. And of course, his bloodstained scarf covered his mouth and hung off his shoulder. The dirty tattoo that crept up his face was reduced to framing his jaw and curved around his eye.
"Hello Timothy..." He unfolded his arms and embraced me. I was still in shock that this was really him. So used to seeing him the same way and now this dark figure? I'm not sure if I preferred the rugged sexy version, or the dark mysterious and sexy version...
"Hi..." We pulled away from each other. "But how did you..."
"Freeze Desmond? I've still some residual demonic powers remember. Of course before I would have frozen a few miles... But I am not that powerful anymore." He re-folded his arms. "Well... I've come to tell you that Gregory Banks has already been put to rest."
"What?"
"20 years ago he was put to rest by a hunter. You won't find anything in this grave but a pile of ash." He invited me into the mausoleum with a friendly gesture, but I stayed where I was. "What you hunt is something else. It must be. I do not feel any spirits or demons. But then again, my powers are diminishing... But there is something growing within you." He cocked his head to the side.
My body became rigid and my fingers became arthritic in their bent position. My vision began to wash out.
"Run Ironside..."
"Timmy... You've an angel inside of you?"
"DEMON!!!" Cade screamed through my mouth. I no longer felt anything, heard or saw anything. A few moments later I was in the endless white room with Cade. He sat in an invisible chair, hands folded staring at me.
"You made friends with a demon? Does Desmond know what you two did?"
"What, you can't read my mind? I thought you'd made yourself quite comfortable in there..." My anger over the insurgence to my mind as it became real for me once more.
"No. You have blocked me out of that part of your memory. Or forgotten it." He stood and walked over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I need to know everything about your past if I am to impact your future."
"Who says I want that?" I threw his hand off of mine. "Just because you're devoid of event the smallest emotion..."
"Mr. Cetris, I assure you that your best intentions are my only concern." He smiled at me with white eyes. "Your friendship with this demon is not in your best interests."
"He's not a demon. His soul was bound to a whole bunch of them but he was and still is human!" I stepped back from him. "I saw it myself, when Winnie's magik went to me"
"Hmh. Mr. Cetris, I do think that you are mistaken. The demonic energy that I felt from him was very real."
"Of course it was, but it was residual!" I turned my back to him. "I'll go back to reality now."
I heard Cade sigh. "If that is your wish Mr. Cetris. I am only trying to help you." And with that, I was lying in the mausoleum, my head bleeding.
"Ah fuck... Thanks Cade..." I muttered as I looked at my bloody hand that I had just removed from the back of my head. `My apologies Mr. Cetris. I forgot about my battle with the demon amidst our heated conversation.' "Get out of my head!!!"
"T?!" Desmond ran over to me. The lid was off of the coffin, laying smashed on the ground. "Are you alright?" He looked at my bloody hand unbelievingly and apparently unaware of what to do. "Lemme see..." He tilted my head forward.
"It doesn't hurt... Cade must have fixed me." His hand cupped the back of my head and he kissed me. "I'm fine." He kissed me again.
"It's not Banks." He head butted me, resting his forehead on mine.
"I know..."
"Oh, Cade told you? Theresa already knows."
"Ya... Cade told me."
"I was thrown back by this huge light," he backed away and looked out of the mausoleum to where I assume he landed. "Then I found you laying here, I held you for like an hour... I checked the coffin quickly so I could take you back..." He seemed to be justifying why I didn't awake in his arms.
"Desmond, it's alright." I grasped the back of his head. "But we've got to figure out what's really going on here."
"There're no other suspicious deaths in the past hundred years except for Banks." Desmond said as he got into the car. I had pulled out some mouthwash and was rinsing furiously. "How'd the talk with the priest go?"
I spat out the open door. "Oh it was just great. I had a blast." I lifted my eyebrows and gazed out the windshield. "Of course so did he."
Desmond chuckled. "Gross."
"It bothers me that you're not bothered by this."
"Hey, I expected it." He turned on the car. "But right now, we need to A) have a lot of sex. And B) have a lot of sleep."
By the time we got into the hotel room, my pants were further in the room than I was. Forced onto the bed this was going to be rough. Not sure why, usually I acted like a douche bag before Desmond went at me. Guess he just missed me... Or wanted to assert his place in my life/ass. I didn't plan on telling him about Ironside, it would only upset him. And it's not like I had done anything with him... Recently.
I closed my eyes as Desmond spat on my hole. Working his finger inside of me with a little resistance, he took my dick inside his mouth. "Oh god Desmond..."
"I do apologize Mr. Cetris, but I cannot let you become distracted from your teachings." I opened my eyes to find myself in a white endless room.
"What the fuck Cade!?" I burned with anger and hatred. "Pulsus!" He flew away with my outburst of magik.
"Impressive Mr. Cetris, as usual." He stood in front of me in the blink of an eye.
"Dominus!" A control spell I'd heard used. A strange result followed. I saw in a sort of haze, unable to move at all. My eyes began to burn from the lack of blinking, my lungs from lack of air. It was as if I was frozen in time, but still able to feel what was going on. Is this what Cade saw when he looked into my mind? If I was controlling Cade, and Cade was controlling me, then... Ugh this was confusing...
I gasped suddenly as my control faded. Cade grasped his head and looked at me in a frightened way. Frightened by my power, or that I had surprised him... Either or, he quickly regained his composure.
"You cannot do that again. If I were not stronger than you, we could have been frozen like that until we were both dead. Do you understand me?" Cade slowly stood up straight. I noticed that his hand remained open, as if to cast a spell on me at any moment. He was afraid, that was sure.
"Fine. But you can't keep tearing us apart like this. It only makes us angrier at you and your organization." I snarled.
"Granted Mr. Cetris. Let us continue then."
And we did. I learned how to control my own powers more. Instead of throwing pulses in a direction, I learned not only how to pinpoint my pulses, but also to remotely manipulate objects. Sort of a complex mental stream of throwing and summoning commands. My head hurt by the end of our time together. I had however managed to get Cade to crack a small smile. Difficult to imagine...
"What's your deal Cade?" I asked as I could feel him releasing me. I reached out to him with my mind and tried to hold him close to me, keep him from escaping the question.
"I am unsure of what you mean. I do however appreciate your enthusiasm with your magick." He nodded to me in acceptance, bald head shining in the white void of his endless room.
"You're an Erelim or whatever, why are you working for these douchebags? Really?" I felt his will to force me back to reality fade, so I walked closer.
"I do not feel at liberty to discuss these things with you. I am here with you for one reason only, to train you. I am not here to be your friend in the slightest." He straightened himself up and puffed out his chest.
I took another step. "Oh common. Now I know something is up with you and that Fellowship. Tell me, what's the harm?"
"Your attempts to persuade my mind are useless, I am immune to your mind control techniques. If you've forgotten, I am the one who is in your head." Be seemed smug and sure of himself.
So I kissed him. He didn't react at first. Me locking my lips to his, his eyes shot open and lips remained motionless. I tried to put my tongue into his mouth and slowly his mouth opened. His tongue tasted mine, retreated and then slowly wrestled with mine.
His spit was sweeter than anyone's I'd tasted. I placed my hands on his pecks and a bright light shined in front of my eyelids. But I continued, and so did he. Once the light brightened once more, I opened my eyes to see a beautiful sight. Cade and I were weightless, floating with a mild breeze passing over our clothes. His tattoos were glowing with a radiance that seemed to be brighter than the sun. Twisting over his scalp and down his face and neck, I studied them trying to find some pattern or meaning behind them. As I was poked in the thigh I broke out of the trance and continued to kiss him.
He suddenly snapped back to reality and pushed me away. We rushed to the ground that I can only assume existed and landed gracefully.
"That was wrong..." He was legitimizing it to himself. "You will never do that again." I opened my mouth to say something. "Ever." He closed his eyes to make it obvious that he was not acknowledging my retort. He looked down to his erection and turned his back to me. "Ever..." He said quietly. Walking away from me, he made a flourish with his hand and I awoke beside Desmond.
He grunted at my movement and sleepily ran his hand up and down my hip. Once he stopped, I figured he was asleep again.
Now, I don't really want to be that guy who just goes around fucking anyone with a stiffy. Unfortunate that that's how you think I am. I'm sorry that you do not understand my alternative plan for that kiss. But you will one day. Hopefully soon if you haven't already figured it out. But enough foreshadowing, I should get back to the conversation that Desmond and I had before we left the motel.
"Then it must be another ghost." Desmond walked out of the bathroom naked and wet from his shower. The perfect `V' shape of his pelvis accented his abs and swaying cock perfectly. He sniffed and rubbed his nose, muscles flexing in the early morning light, showing more definition that was normally visible to the naked eye.
I was laying on the bed half watching Ellen and half thinking about my kiss with Cade. "Mhm." I responded mindlessly.
"You alright? You're distant." He walked up to my side of the bed and pulled on his jeans, taking extra time to pack his hefty member behind the zipper. "Aw sure, now I've got you attention."
We laughed with each other and I pulled him on top of me. Looking into those bright green eyes I wondered why I would resort to sure measures to get Cade under my belt... Metaphorically of course. Desmond was the only guy for me.
"What do you suppose happened to Ironside?"
Caught off guard I switched to the defensive. "Why are you thinking of him while you're hard, half naked, wet and on top of me?" I smiled. "You totally want a threesome don't you?" I grabbed his junk and rubbed it softly. Lifting myself to his ear, I whispered: "You wanna watch him fuck me?"
"Stop it." He lifted a leg off of me and grabbed his shirt which lay on the floor beside the bed. "You know I don't share." He pulled it over his torso denying me the pleasure of looking at his sculpted, hairy chest.
"But it's so much fun to see you squirm." I got up and reached for my pants. He slapped them out of my hand.
"It's more fun to watch you squirm." He took his shirt off and fucked me for no less than an hour until I had cum three times.
I found it difficult to sit in the car after the vicious assault to my anus by Desmond. I felt like I was still leaking, but also had a surreal sense of euphoria. Like everything was fine... Even though it wasn't. We still had this level 4 or whatever spirit to deal with. Malevolent spirit? No, I don't really even care so I'm going to stop guessing what the fuck they were talking about.
"I don't know what the fuck they're talking about." Desmond said as we sat outside the cemetery on a display of stonework in front of the gates. "I mean, we've walked all over this place and there is absolutely no substantial EMF frequencies showing anywhere." He lit a match from the free pack of matches provided by the motel and threw it to the ground in protest.
"Well then we've got to come to grips with the idea that Theresa is wrong. I mean, why would they know what's going on here if they haven't even given us enough information to find this thing? They think it's a ghost and we know it can't be." I flipped through a book in my lap. The winter breeze froze my exposed cheeks, turning them bright red. Slamming the book closed I looked into his eyes.
"Has to be a monster then. Not a spirit or Demon. Maybe something smart enough to find out about a malevolent spirit and blame its attacks on it." He thrust his hips forward so he slid off the rock he was sitting on. The scraping sound made me question whether or not we would be jean shopping later that day. There was no rip though... You can judge for yourself if that's a blessing or a curse.
"Ok. Then what is the menu?" I also hopped down off the stones. "Wendigo in some cases, Werewolf, Witch? They do spells and shit in the moonlight right? But fuck, there's so much lore around full moons."
"Ya... But the type of witches that harness the power of the full moon aren't a problem for us." He thought for a moment. "We're too far south for a Wendigo. They hang out in the north, like North West Territories, Yukon, mining country. Hell, Northern Quebec! Oh fuck, if it's a French Wendigo I'm out of here. I can't deal with either of those on their own!"
"Well then, what've we got left?" I asked rhetorically.
"Werewolf." He muttered. "That fucker Jacob is going down."
"Ok well his body is hot." I said.
"Ya but you'd need to cut off that fucking girly head of his."
"That'd make you a necrophiliac."
"Dead guys can't say no." He smiled at me, kissed me, and started walking towards the car for some silver bullets and Wolfsbane.