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Chapter 12. Soliloquies
Justin sits there, watching the boy freely humbling himself before him.
Why is it that I'm so fortunate? Look at this adorable little pup who eagerly chose all on his own to grovel at my feet. He look so peaceful, lost in submissive meditation, not looking nor asking for anything else but to stay here with me in a position that he only recently learned from me. He is so fair, so fine, delicate even. I am more satisfied watching him here before me than even the wildest dungeon scenes can manage. Look at his back, like the honey shampoo I gave him, so smooth, marked only by a few red "dings" I made with the shoelace I used to introduce him to getting whipped. Hey, Justin, whipping a sub with nothing more than a shoelace? How far you've fallen! No! That's not true. How far I've risen, how much more attention I am paying to his well-being than I ever have before with a sub or slave. Already he's calling me Master'—maybe I should have stopped him from doing that, but I didn't want to damper his enthusiasm. He is so inexperienced, but yet so willing to enter into a type of relationship that few guys his age could even imagine, let alone embrace. I guess I'll keep on letting him call me Master' if he needs to, although to tell the truth, I'm thinking that deep down inside he's not looking for a true Master as much as he needs to have a Daddy, having lost his own just as he was about to enter puberty.
Sweet, lonely boy, devoting himself for his entire senior year to one single friend, a friend who took advantage of his blossoming homosexuality, or maybe just a friend who saw who he was and what he needed and, being horny like most 17-year-olds, simply let the boy do what he was yearning to do, and above all, let him do it safely without having to fear that Gary would divulge his secret to all his classmates. I'm looking forward to meeting this guy, and when I do, I think I might actually thank him for taking such good care of Brandon until he was ready to leave home and head to U. And it was so sweet, what Brandon told me, how Gary would continue to lay with him and let him satisfy himself after taking care of Gary. Few straight boys would tolerate doing such a thing. Okay, maybe he's not as straight as he made himself out to be. Things are so unsettled, so fluid at that age. But no matter. What does matter is that the two of them found a way to work out their various sexual urges together and still remain friends. I wonder what they were like when they were out in public? Did Gary ignore him, act like he didn't even know him, or was their friendship up front and obvious to all the kids in school.
And how about Gary getting him to each his own cum? He obviously knew that Brandon liked swallowing his, so maybe he just pushed it a little bit farther, and notice that it didn't seem like Brandon had any objection. Yes indeed, Gary was preparing him to be a good sub for some deserving man, and even encouraging him from afar to seek out what he truly needed: a man to serve and obey, a man who would take care of him, a man who would introduce him to the desires awakening within him for a life-style that could actually be dangerous if he fell into the wrong hands.
Am I that man? I think I would like to be. But can I be that man? Can I continue to `educate' him as a submissive without going over the line and giving him an experience that could prove to be frightening and dangerous it I let this little lamb loose among all the wolves in this town?
Look at him there. He hasn't even moved. He hasn't gotten bored. He is simply lost in his act of submission. Or is it adoration? If it is, to tell the truth, that adoration is going both ways. Surprising. Very surprising indeed. Now the big question is, where do I go from here? Where do I take him, and how fast, how deep?
What would I make him do if he were just the usual type of sub I've known in the past? I think it's obvious. I'd give the command: lick my feet, slaveboy. Lick them, suck my toes, salivate on them and then suck it off. Clean your Master's feet like the faggot slave you are meant to be! But no. I'll not say that. I'll simply observe and see where this boy's inner submissive coaxes him to do next. After all, he is bowed to the ground before me not because I ordered him to humble himself before me, but rather because this is what he chose to do when I gave him the right to choose. And if nothing else is clear, at least now I know that I can order him to be in this position any time I want, because now I know that it meets a need. And that is what I think this relationship is going to be about: me taking my time so that he can discover what he truly needs, and then I can just sit back and enjoy the result of his choices. Yes. That might be the solution to this. And the fact that the idea is thrilling me so much? I guess that is telling me something about my own needs that I never realized before.
Brandon is also thinking a lot: Holy smokes! I love this! I love this red-headed Master who is being so good to me ever since we met only five days ago. Five days? It feels like an entire semester. So much has happened; he has taught me so much; I'm learning so much about myself. Sure, it's been scary at times, but I read somewhere that courage doesn't mean not being scared, but rather courage means going ahead even though a person scared. But there is nothing to be scared about here. Justin keeps proving that to me over and over again.
Tonight at supper, I really got scared when that mean guy—what's his name?---oh yeah, Lou. Lou the bully. I got scared that way he was talking to me, the way he spoke about me being tied to Justin's whipping post so he could beat the daylights out of me. Okay. To be honest, it turned me on a bit, but I know I could never handle anything like the stuff I've seen in porn videos. Damn! I would holler RED after the very first lash and then begging him to unbind me and then run home crying and probably quit school out of embarrassment.
But what did Justin do? Damn! He got angry and told that guy to shut the fuck up! And he kept touching me, making sure I was okay. And as soon as he touched me, all my fright just went away and I felt safe again. Sure, there is a part of me that wants that kind of treatment, but not yet, not now, maybe not ever. And I love what Justin did: flogged me with just a single rawhide shoelace. Told me how many times he would hit me, and I was able to count, and damn! After the first few lashes (can I even call them lashes, those caresses with the rawhide?) it actually started to hurt, just a little bit, just as much as I could handle. And I felt so proud of myself, standing there with my hands on my head in the middle of the room, just submitting to what Master (I hope he's not upset I started calling him that), to what Master was doing to me, whipping me like a naughty puppy, listening to the sound of my voice especially when I had a hard time saying the numbers. he gave me what I wanted, just as much and no more, and I didn't feel at all like he was treating me like a baby. It hurt enough to make my dick want to stiffen in its cage (what a surprise THAT was, and the whole idea of it really has me turned on although the reality is quite inconvenient to say the least). And then he ordered me to kneel down and suck his cock again and all I could think about was how the whipped slave has to service its Master right after getting beaten. I remember how sometimes I wished that Gary would slap me around a bit before I sucked his dick, but I was afraid to ask. Now it's real. And it felt so awesome, doing what a slave should do. Another thing that really turns me on is the way he tells me exactly how to do it, and this time was different than the first time. So there I was, on my knees, little marks of the "whip" on my body, which his cock in my mouth and me obeying every move he told me to make. Hot heaven!
And what he did to me afterwards with those gloves? OMG. I was almost going to ask him to whip me again after that, but then held back so I could just follow his lead. So what did he make me do? LISTEN to what's inside me. Do what I wanted to do. So here I am, down on the ground at his feet, groveling like a whipped slaveboy, and this feels so good I wish I could stay down here for the rest of the weekend. it feels so fucking good, being naked and marked up and still tasting his cum in my mouth and bowed down before him, and he's not making a move, just letting me sink down as far within myself as I need to get.
Oh Daddy, if you could see me like this, would you be disgusted with me? Ashamed of me? Or wait, maybe I'm thinking of it wrong. Maybe Daddy is the one who set this up for me, who led Justin to me and made him want me so that I could be safe. Daddy, would you make Justin love me? Could you do that for me? I promise I'll be a good boy for him.
And what's all this with Billy? He hasn't appeared to me again, but I bet he, too, is nodding his head, approving of it all. Justin told me that Billy loved his slaveboy. Do all Masters love their slaves? Justin already told me that's not true, so I shouldn't even think that.
I love the way Justin is just letting me stay here at his feet. Oh, his feet! I wonder if I could . . . well, he told me to do what my inner sub wants me to do. Damn, I know what I want to do next. I want to show Justin just how much I want to be his slaveboy, how much I want to do what slaveboys always have to do in order to let their Masters know they understand that they are. Yes, I'm going to make my move. Lick his feet. Maybe even suck his toes. Will he stop me? Or will he get turned on by my submission? Well, I'm gonna find out. come on, Brandon, get down on Master's feet!
Finally, Justin speaks to the boy groveling before him:
"You're so beautiful, boy, humbling yourself before your Master, learning your place in my home and among my friends, my naked, shaved, collared and whipped little boy bowing before me and showing me how much he needs to be my sub. I think it's time for you stop groveling and do something else, something you've been thinking about, something that you want to do but are afraid that maybe I'd get angry. Whatever it is, boy, go ahead. I won't get mad. I've seen it all and done it all. Go ahead, sweet boy. Do what your inner submissive voice is telling you to do to please me.
Brandon begins to kiss Justin's feet and to lick them, something he never in a million years would ever have thought of doing before this night.
Justin is very pleased. He's glad he didn't gave any commands, but decided to let the boy find his own way, let him plan his own sweet humiliation.
Brandon licks Justin's foot and then kisses the bottom of it and works he way around the front again, and next thing Justin knows, Brandon is indeed sucking his toes and licking between them. Immediately Justin thinks of alex and how he was trained to serve Billy's feet and he wonders if it isn't the spirit of alex that is inspiring this neophyte wet-behind-the-ears freshman to take up the role anew.
"that feels so good, boy, the way you suck and kiss my feet. It is turning me on so much to see you down there like that, totally focused on one thing and one thing only: to please and worship the man you've started calling `Master" all on your own. I'm very happy with you, Brandon. Come up here. Lie on the couch and put your head into my lap, near my bright red pubes that you like so much. Come on, boy, I want us to have a little chat, just like we do when we email each other."
Brandon gets up on the couch the way Justin instructed him to, and before he lays his head in Justin's crotch, he turns it a bit so he can snuff his Master's pubes, then he lies on his back and looks up into Justin's powerful green eyes.