Enter the infamous legal disclaimer... NOW:
I do not own any of the following. I wish I did. OH how I wish I did. Do you know how much money some of these bring in? But alas, I am but a meager college student working towards a teaching degree. That's right; I am in college, and going to be a teacher. Going from no money at all (college student) to no money at all (teacher). Please don't sue. You'll get a crappy pen set that I got from my brother many moons ago. Now, onto everything I do not own. Repeat. Don't own. I don't know sexual orientations or personalities either. DON'T OWN, DON'T KNOW!
Nsync, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Pink, Christina Aguilera, The Wallflowers, and any other celebrities. I also know nothing of their sexual orientations. Wish I did though.
Marvel Comics, DC Comics, and all related characters.
The Anita Blake Vampire Hunter book series by Laurell K. Hamilton.
The Dresden Files and all items therein by Jim Butcher.
The Vampire Chronicles, Tales Of The New Vampires, The Mayfair Witches, all series and characters written by Anne Rice.
Harry Potter and all characters, abilities, and creatures there within. (I have been forgetting to put this in. A fan pointed it out. So, a special thank you to Frithjof for telling me.)
Buffy & Angel television series.
Birds Of Prey television series.
Star Wars
Star Trek, Star Trek TNG, Star Trek DS9, Star Trek Voyager, Star Trek The New Frontier, Enterprise television series, movies, and novels.
Ok, now that that is taken care of, a little publicity for my co-authors. Go read these four stories in the Boy Bands, and Celebrity sections:
Tales Of A Real Dark Night (The series that started it all.) celebrity/boy-bands/tales-of-a-real-dark-knight/
Marvel Knights celebrity/marvel-knights/
Tales Of A Super Hero Band celebrity/boy-bands/tales-of-a-superhero-band/
Tales Of A Young Mutant celebrity/tales-of-a-young-mutant/
Tales of a Human Spider celebrity/boy-bands/tales-of-a-human-spider/
There may also be a new writer up and coming. Good luck! I love the storyline I've seen so far dude! Keep writing!
This was a hard chapter for me to write. Why you may ask? Well... you'll see when you read. I'm asking the Archivist to post both this chapter and the following as a way to say I'm sorry for it taking so long. I've been swamped with School, and my two jobs. Hell, to keep my life in order I dropped a class. A tip if I may, never EVER take a four hour Saturday Math class. It's an evil thing. Remember Buffy's room mate in college? Demon girl. Evil like her. nods Anyways, I have more to tell you, but will be doing it at the end of the next chapter. Until then, enjoy. Or... not, in which case, sorry. Oh so sorry. ~Blake
The Story of the Birds Of Prey Chapter 13: In Search Of Peace
Dear Andrea,
I can't stay here right now. This... this was our home. Ours and... he is gone. Staying here, being in that bed without him, it hurts me too much. I need to just be away, be myself. Be... away. I don't know if you can understand what I'm talking about here. I just want you to know, I'm safe. And I'll call you.
I'm heading back to Orlando. I'm gonna go see Lance and Justin and try to find... a way to make it not hurt so much. I'm sorry I didn't wake you. It's now about 4 am and you just fell asleep. I'm grabbing the bag I packed to go to New York with and just going to the airport.
It's been 2 weeks. We're almost in October and... I still can't breath.
Well, I'm going to go now.
~JC
Andrea stood at the kitchen table and set the note down. "I hope you find yourself." She turned and walked into the master bedroom.
She had come to stay with JC as soon as the X-Men went back to New York. JC didn't seem to be ok alone, and she didn't feel ok alone herself.
She grabbed her things slowly and walked to the picture of JC and Blake that was sitting on the dresser. She trailed her fingers down it and started to tear up again.
"Bye bro." And she left.
The flight was boring as usual. I would have slept, but I stopped doing that as much as I used to. Whenever I would dream I would be on our beach. But I would be there alone.
The flight landed at about 3 pm and I disembarked. I had a driver take me to my place here in Orlando and I grabbed my car. I just drove. I drove all over the place until well after dark. I drove into downtown and headed for a club I used to hit.
I never got out of the car. I saw the smiling people and the music blasted out of the place and I thought of Serenity. Blake's club. His dream.
I almost hit three people as I peeled out of the parking lot. I drove north along the coast. I just drove for hours. I finally stopped when I could see the sky beginning to lighten. Then I pulled over and walked out onto the beech. I sat and pulled my knees up to my chest and watched the stars fade.
The beach had nothing on the surreal beauty of out dream cove. But it was nice. The air was cool and held the salt of the sea within it. It was really nice. I lost track of time. Trying not to thing and simply exist can do that. You either feel like time is moving much faster then it actually is, or feel as if an hour is a moment. I looked down at my watch and it was past noon. I stood and walked back to my car.
People had arrived on the beech without my noticing. I guess my sudden movement after hours of not moving at all surprised some of them. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked to my car and got in. I put the key into the ignition. I drove back towards Orlando.
I stopped at a restaurant on my way. It was one of those home town diners with a bar type thing with swivel stools. I ordered a club sandwich. The waitress looked at me funny.
"You seem familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?" she asked.
"No mam. I'm from California." She just shrugged and went to get my drink.
I listened to what people were talking about. It was always the same thing lately. Vampires. Most were saying destroy them all. But there were a few voices saying they deserved a chance. That they were no different than humans and mutants.
I had to agree. After meeting David Talbot and learning of benevolent vampires I had to believe that some deserved to live. It was the choice of the individual vampire to kill or not. I ate in silence, paid, and left a thirty dollar tip. She let out a yelp as I left. I hope she was happy. Someone deserved to be happy.
I decided to go to Justin's next. I drove to his house and went to the door. I knocked but there was no answer. I remembered him mentioning some contest he and Lance were doing and decided that must be where they were. I just waited.
Justin got home at about six that night. He looked at me with surprise. I had called everyone and told them about Blake the day after it happened. I knew that was what he was thinking when I saw sympathy flow across his face.
"Let's go get some dinner." He said.
I nodded and we went.
Dinner was awkward. Ok, it was a nightmare. I was silent the whole time, only adding a grunt here or there. Here I was having dinner with one of my best friends, trying so desperately to get my old life back. The one before Blake, and I couldn't.
"I think you should go see Lance and Eric." Justin said.
I just stared at my drink. It was a glass of coke. I watched the bubbles. The way they interacted with the ice and each other. I shrugged to what he said.
"I think they can help you better then I can." I said ok and we finished eating. Justin drove us to the restaurant, so he drove us back. I got into my car and drove to Lances. It was after dark. I knocked and Lance came to the door.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"JC." I said. I could hear the various locks being unhooked. The door flung open and I was face to face with Lance.
"Oh god." He said looking at me. I looked into his eyes and flashed to what he was like after Eric disappeared.
"It's like I can't breath." I said. I could feel myself breaking down. He flung himself at me and wrapped his arms around me. "It's like... the air is smothering me."
"Shh... It's going to be ok." He said holding onto me.
"No... it's not." I whispered, chin on his shoulder. "He's gone Lance."
Eric got home really late and just looked at me. He left the room and came back with a cup of herbal tea. He told me to breath it in as I drank it. It smelled of spices and something I couldn't place my finger on. The scent was relaxing, and its taste soothing. I fell asleep on the couch.
I awoke the next morning after dreaming of the beach again. I stood and walked towards the kitchen. Lance was inside talking with Justin. He was telling Justin that I was ok, and that he shouldn't take the day off also considering that Lance had. I almost smiled at that. Lance took the day off just for me. But I didn't smile. I hadn't smiled since Blake died. Suddenly I heard his voice echo in my mind.
"Josh, you are my universe. You are my everything. And I would do anything, anything to make sure you're safe."
I knew it was true. I knew how much I meant to him. I could feel his mind, how he felt. He called it a psychic connection, I called it true love. I turned and walked to the bathroom.
Lance forced me to eat and we just talked the day away. We went out back and sat by the pool, our feet dangling in the water. I just talked about the happy times.
"There was this one time, it was late. We were talking about our wedding. What it would be like. He said it would be in an old castle. One with a courtyard that had green grass, and half fallen walls surrounding it. There would be fairy lights strung on the walls. A set of red rugs would make two aisles through hundreds of white wooden chairs where our loved ones would sit. And arch of roses would be the alter. He said he would use his powers to create tiny whit butterflies of light that would dance in the air above us, and that Andrea would create dancing green pixies." I smiled at the memory. The first smile I had had yet. "We would both where matching black tuxedos. He said he wanted us to meet each other at the arch." I wiped a tear away. "He then closed his eyes, and we were there. He created it for me to see, and it was perfect. It was the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine."
Lance was silent. I suppose there isn't much to say after something like that. I just looked at him and smiled.
"Thank you Lance." I said.
"For what?" he asked with a puzzled expression.
"Whenever I needed you to help me through something, you were always able to do it by guiding me. Not giving me an answer. I know that's what you just did." I said.
"Is it?" he asked.
"There will always be memories. I will always have him with me." I smiled looking up to the sky. "I came here to try and get back my old life. My life before Blake. But I just realized... I'm not that JC anymore."
"Who are you then?" Lance asked.
"I'm Josh." I said smiling at him.
A few moments later Eric got home. He walked up and kissed Lance. He mentioned making dinner, smiled at me, and went back inside.
After dinner we were just sitting around. I spoke without meaning to, just let myself say the things on my mind. "I felt his presence as he died."
Lance and Eric were both taken back by my bluntness.
"I was suddenly on the dream beach we went to. A place inside both our minds. He told me he loved me and that I was his world, his soul, his universe. I didn't want to believe what he was saying, what he was implying. But then I felt him slip away from me, slip out of my grasp. And there was nothing I could do to hold onto him."
I put down my glass and wiped away tears that were coming. "Every time I fall asleep I'm back on our beach. And I look for him. I never find him, only loneliness. I know he's gone and never coming back. He's gone," I said staring out into the air. "And he's not coming back." I broke down and covered my face, sort of embarrassed by my naked emotion. I felt Lance put his hand on my knee and I turned to face him. "Why did it happen? Why didn't he save himself? He had the power, didn't he? I always thought he would be with me forever, but he isn't. Why?"
"We can't always know what is going to happen," Lance said, but I closed my eyes. "I know what you are going through and I asked those exact same questions. When I thought Eric was dead, I felt so lost and alone. I felt like life couldn't go on."
I remembered well what happened to Lance. But it only made me feel worse because... we didn't see that he was heading for destruction after that.
The telephone rang and Eric went to answer it. He spoke on the phone for a bit while I tried to pull myself back together. Then he came back carrying a cordless phone. "JC, it's for you. It's Professor Xavier."
I was puzzled. Why would the Professor want to call me? I took the phone and walked towards the kitchen. "This is JC." I said into it.
"JC, let me first express my deepest condolences. I know that it is the last thing you want to hear right now, but Blake died a hero. He saved us all."
"I know that Professor Xavier. Not to be rude, but what do you want?" I said.
"On October the 1'st, a memorial will be held for Blake here at the Institute. What he did will go widely unknown by the world, but there are those who know." I closed my eyes. "Those who will remember. I invite you, Andrea, Devin, and Mr. Talbot to the Institute as my guests. We will be contacting the various teams that were involved with the War and will be inviting them as well."
"Thank you." I was fighting not to cry. "I will be there."
"I will see you then." He said. I hung up and slid down the fridge I was leaning against. I pulled my knees to my chest and let my head hang.
He would be remembered.
I stayed up that night. Lance and Eric had a beautiful grand piano. I did what I did best when my brain was in a state of untidiness. I wrote. I wrote and I remembered.
I remembered the night I met Blake and how he saved me.
I remembered the first time we made love.
I remembered our proposal.
Our proposal made me look down at my ring. The ring we created from a dream. He was wearing one that was a lot like it, but personalized by me. I set down the pen I was using and walked outside. The moon was bright in the sky. I let my mind go back to the Beach, that night when we promised to be together forever.
"Jacob."
"What?" I asked turning to him.
"My middle name. My full name is Blake Jacob Alexander." he turned to me and looked deep into my eyes. I could see the shimmering light of a billion stars. And I knew I was seeing his soul. "Wow."
"I see it too. I see you. And I know that you belong in my arms and I in yours Blake. My friends are worried that The Phoenix somehow made me fall in love with you. The truth is she just opened my eyes. I've always believed in soul mates. Another soul that mine is destined to meet and be with. I've seen your soul and know that you are the one." I started to cry, and he did too.
"Josh... are you proposing to me?" he asked.
"Yes Blake. I am. I already know that I want to be with you forever. I know it more than I knew I wanted to sing before Nsync, hell before MMC. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. So I don't think it really matters how long we've been together, I want to marry you. I want to be your husband, and I want to call you mine." The tears were pouring from my eyes. It was the same with him.
"Yes. Oh God, yes!" He pulled us to our feet and we kissed. When we finally broke, we both started laughing and I started swinging him around.
"This is a dream right?" I asked after we fell dizzy, a mass of arms and legs.
"Yeah." He answered.
"Well, then I should be able to change the environment, and make stuff right?" I looked at him.
"I think so. I know I've done things in dreams as soon as I realized it was one." He smiled. The smile that would get him whatever he wanted. "Why?"
"Well, let me see your left hand." He gave me a puzzled look, but gave me his hand. I looked down at it, and then closed my eyes. I pictured a silver engagement bad with Celtic knots wrapping around it with a Leo symbol on the top.
"It's beautiful." I opened his eyes then looked down smiling.
"It worked!" I laughed then pulled his hand up to see it closer. "It's just as I imagined it. Right down to the Leo symbol. A sign that you're mine!"
"Well, now I need to mark that little finger of yours." He pulled my hand out and looked at it. He closed his eyes, and moments later I felt a tickling sensation on my finger. I looked and saw a ring, just like the one I made him but with an Egyptian Ankh where the Leo symbol was.
"Man, I wish we could take these with us when we wake up." I said looking at the ring on my finger.
"We'll just have to get new ones soon." I said pulling him towards me. He just grinned at me.
I looked down at the ring on my finger and smiled. We both had awoken and found our rings securely on our fingers. His powers had created them without realizing it.
I walked back into the living room and sat down. I picked up the pen and wrote.
Lance found me that way the next morning.
"What are you doing JC?" he asked.
"Writing." I said. Lance gave me a well duh type look. "It's a song. I'm going to play it at the memorial if Professor Xavier will allow me."
"I'm sure he will." Lance said. "You look haggard. Go get some sleep."
"I don't like to sleep." I said. "I get too lonely. Blake was almost always there with me. We would talk the night away." I felt another tear form. "We talked for hours. Most people only get to know their lovers a few hours a day. That is if they don't have to deal with work, or with other people also. But he and I, we talked at least three nights a week, the entire night. I knew him better than I knew myself."
"You are going to get sick if you don't sleep JC." He took me by my hand and led me to the guest bedroom. He put me to bed, and told me to sleep well. He hung around a minute more, then left.
I closed my eyes and awoke on our beach. Alone.