DISCLAIMER: This story is just a work of fiction, it does not mean to imply anything about the real feelings or sexuality of the characters. I am not related in any way to 'N Sync or their management, record company, blah blah blah. English is not my native language, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes. Also forgive me if the story is not consistent with the real facts of 'N Sync's history, it's just something I made up! I hope you find it entertaining, Chapter 2 is coming soon hopefully, with JC's point of view. I share Justin's feelings though, why does that man have to look so good and make me fall in love with him?
Tearing up my ass
Chapter 1: Justin's Diary
By Rick - jc.chasez@gmx.net
January 31, 1999
Dear Diary:
It's that day again, today it's my birthday. I turn 18 and I feel sad and ridiculous. How long has it been? I think I started writing this diary when I became 12, but somehow I feel compelled to keep doing it. It was a good day, I mean, don't get me wrong. In the morning Josh came and woke me up singing me "Happy Birthday"... I felt so happy I could have died in that moment, just hearing his wonderful voice. The others came also, but it was like they weren't there, I could only see and hear him. It feels like forever since we met. Back in the MMC days, he always made me feel so protected, I just wanted my mother and he convinced me to hang out with him. I'm glad he did. How I longed to feel his arms around me when I got upset or sad, telling me that it would all be ok. The touch of his skin was electric since the first time, I know he felt something too, but I guess that he just felt like a father figure or something. But I couldn't help it, I've been in love with him for years, he just seems perfect to me, his blue puppy eyes are more than I can handle, when he looks at me I feel shivers down my spine, and whenever he's angry and looks at me with an upset look, I just want to kiss him and ask him to forgive me. Those lips of his and the way he smiles... Oh my God! Why did this have to happen to me? I always thought that I would marry Britney Spears, but when time went by, I just couldn't see her that way, I mean, I like her a lot, but I don't feel attracted to her at all. And that man, JC Chasez, is always on my mind. When the stupid MMC ended, I just felt like dying, because he was going away from me, for good, I thought. And when 'N Sync was beginning I saw the perfect opportunity to have him again by my side. Luckily he said yes right away, and I was so happy to see him again, I jumped into his arms when I saw him at the airport. I think it was somewhat inappropriate, but he didn't seem to mind. In the first days, when we were in a tight budget and we had to share rooms, I would always look for ways to end up with him. I would be extremely mad if someone else was his roommate. That dumbass Lance wanted to room with me, but I almost always got my way. Those days were the best, I could see him take off his clothes to go to sleep or to take his shower, fortunately for me, he's not very modest, so I had plenty of chances to see his gorgeous body. My mouth waters every time I see his dick or his tight ass, and I crave to run my tongue on his chest. He must think I'm shy, but I can't get out of the covers when he's naked, my boner would tell him everything I feel. The very best days were when we found ourselves having to share a double bed. That happened mostly in Europe, where the hotels are more expensive and with smaller rooms. I couldn't even sleep knowing that he was in the same bed with me and feeling his body heat. I would try to get as closer to him as I could, and on a few occasions he would embrace me, maybe dreaming of someone else, but I didn't care, as long as I felt his arms and legs behind me. Even his erection rubbing my butt, that was the best, I wished he fucked me right there. I'm so damn horny lately, I have to hide in the bathroom whenever I can and just jerk off as fast as I can. The sight of him is getting more painful every day. And yet, I can't get myself to tell him the way I feel. I'm just too fucking scared of what will happen if he doesn't feel the same, which I don't think he does. I'll die if he doesn't want to be near me, or maybe he'll tell me I'm a sick fuck, whatever, I just can't seem to find a way to solve this. But I also don't feel like going out and find someone to love or at least to fuck. I'm still a virgin and hopeless. Sure there are thousands of girls and boys that would give a kidney to sleep with me, but I can't. All my feelings and thoughts are about JC. The most that I've done is getting a blowjob from two or three girls, I think they were ecstatic, and they promised never to tell about it. They begged me to screw them, but I can't. I'm saving it for my Josh. Am I pathetic or what? I'll probably die and that won't happen... Sometimes I hear him fucking someone in his room and I cry myself to sleep. I was going to bed, but JC came and asked me to go out with them, they will be hitting the clubs and well, anything for him... I'll tell you tomorrow what happened. Bye, Justin.
February 1, 1999
Dear Diary:
I can't believe it!!!!! Thanks God!!!!! If someone had told me what was going to happen yesterday, I would have beaten the crap out of him, for playing with my feelings. So, here's what happened... We went to this club and you know, all the girls where clinging to us, I like them, but they are too much sometimes. They knew it was my birthday, I received like a million cards and lots of plush teddies, flowers, I thought that we were going to require a truck for them. But I digress... Well, Joey and Chris were all over any girl who'd let them. Lance was dumb as always, just sitting there. JC was with me telling me how much he liked me and that he was happy that we were friends, I couldn't help but shed some tears. He asked me not to cry. He was drinking lightly, but I could see that he was getting bombed. I told him that we should leave the place before he was drunker. The others decided to stay and I asked the driver to take us to the hotel and then go back for them. I guess the cold air had a negative effect on Josh, because suddenly he was drunk off his ass. I was almost carrying him to the elevator and to his room. I had to search in his pockets for the key and I couldn't help but to explore a little... I took him to his bed and I took off his shoes and socks. I was trembling when I decided to unbutton his pants and take them off too, I mean, you can't sleep with those leather pants. I unbuckled his belt and was unzipping him when he stirred and told me that he had to go take a leak. I froze but helped him stand and get to the bathroom. He said to me that he wasn't feeling well and that he was sorry that he ruined my night. I told him that there was nothing to be sorry about and that I would always be there for him. He finished his bussiness and asked me to help him back to his bed. Then he started sobbing a little... this broke my heart and I hugged him and told him that I wasn't upset about what happened. He told me that I mattered to him the most and that he never wanted to let me down. Although I felt sorry about how he was feeling, I was glowing with those words he was telling me, it was what I had always wanted to hear from him. I reached for him to hug him and we were embraced for a while. Then, the unexpected happened. He looked into my eyes and just like in the movies, he approached his face to mine. I was in a mix of fear, anticipation and excitement. I couldn't even breathe. I felt his lips touching mine, they felt like velvet. His hand went to my hair and his fingers played with my curls. When I felt his tongue on my lips, I couldn't help it... I gasped and retreated to take some air. He was scared when I did this, I think he thought that I didn't want to do it, and he started to cry. He told me that he was crazy and that he could never forgive himself for doing that. He said to me that he won't bother me again and he would leave forever if I wanted him to. I tried to grab his hands but he covered himself, maybe thinking that I was going to hit him. I asked him why did he do that, because I didn't want to tell him how much I loved him and then find out that it was only because he was drunk. Between sobs, he told me that he loved me more than anything in this world, and to please forgive him. I was shocked, never in my fucking life could I've ever imagined that he felt that way... I told him that I loved him too and he didn't seem to hear. I said it again, and this time he looked at me and asked me: WHAT? I told him that I've loved him since we first met and that I never thought that he could love me the way I did. I began to cry as well. He took my hands and kissed them, then he approached me and he touched the tears on my cheeks, he said that he wanted to kiss them away. I can't explain how that made me feel. I just started kissing his lips, first tenderly and then hungrily, all those years of waiting were worth it. Our tongues roamed inside each other's mouths and my hands were all over his body. Somehow we ended up naked, our bodies entangled in bed. I couldn't believe my luck. I was thinking that maybe we had died in a car accident and I was in heaven, otherwise I couldn't explain it. He told me that he had been dreaming about this for a long time and that finally I was a man and he didn't risk to be thrown in jail if I didn't feel the same way for him. He kissed my neck and rubbed my nipples with one hand. With the other he was cupping my ass and running his fingers along my crack. We made out for a long time and them he told me that he wanted to make me feel good. He began licking my balls softly and I was trashing in the bed. He took one of them inside his mouth, I couldn't believe how good it felt. Meanwhile, he was rubbing the tip of his middle finger in my asshole but not yet penetrating. He licked the side of my shaft and I begged him to suck it all, I thought that those couple of blowjobs I had before had felt good, but this was paradise. When he finally took the head of my cock between his lips, I saw stars. At the same time he very slowly penetrated my virgin rosebud with his finger. My main concern was that I wasn't going to last very long, his mouth was just too hot and moist. He was finger fucking me now in earnest and I yelled his name when I exploded... He didn't took my dick out of his mouth, but swallowed it all. I almost passed out from the pleasure. He then kissed me and I tasted myself in his mouth. I had tried my own cum before, so it wasn't unpleasant and it was more erotic since it was him. I saw that he had a painful erection. He got up from the bed, surely to go to the bathroom and jerk off, but I told him he was going nowhere. He seemed embarrassed and came back. I made him lay on his back I kissed his chest. He was moaning in approval and when I began to lick his nipples he squirmed. I took his cock in my hand and it throbbed, it felt hot and hard, yet soft and looked delicious. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to taste him... I licked the head like a lollipop and nibbled it. I traced every vein of his big cut fat dick. He ran his fingers through my hair, calling me sweet names.
He said that he was getting close and I stopped sucking him. He looked at me with surprise, when he got his air back, he asked me why did I stop. I told him that I wanted him to take my cherry in that moment. He seemed worried and told me that he didn't want to hurt me. I assured him that I could take anything as long as it was him doing it, and that there was nothing I wanted more. As horny as he was, he took his time kissing me again and inserting his fingers inside my puckered hole. He asked me to lay on my stomach and he parted my cheeks with his hands. What I felt next was beyond my wildest dreams and hopes. He started tonguing my opening and I cried in surprise. He asked me if I was ok, and I almost ordered him to keep doing it. After some minutes he added another finger and sort of stretched my hole with them. When I felt the third finger, I told him I was ready. He asked me again if I was sure of this, and I answered yes. He told me to turn around and lay on my back so he could see my face and kiss me while he fucked me. He lifted my legs to his shoulders and smiled, I knew it was ok and that he would never hurt me in any way. I felt the tip of his cock lining up at my hole and I closed my eyes. I could feel my sphincter resisting the invasion and JC told me to push like I was going to take a crap. I did and his head suddenly entered me. This left me breathless and I yelled. The pain ran up through my spine. He kissed my lips and assured me that it was ok, that the pain will pass soon. He eased more of his cock inside me, completing my deflowering. When I felt his pubic hair in my ass, I knew he was all inside me, I was his forever. He started long dicking me, I was still in pain, but the feeling of his cock rubbing my prostate and just the thought that he finally was making love to me, made all pain disappear and soon I was in ecstasy... I felt so full, so happy. He kept saying my name, telling me that he loved me and sliding his dick back and forth. All too soon, he said that he was about to cum and asked me if I wanted him to withdraw. I told him that I wanted to have his seed inside me. With that, he kissed me deeply and let go. I felt how my innards were flooding with his hot cream. We slept like that all night, joined by his member. In the morning we showered and went to have breakfast with the guys, who were smiling knowingly... they said it was about time. When they saw my surprise, they said that they weren't deaf, only that way could they have not heard our moans and cries. I'm finally happy and as soon as I finish telling you this, I'm going to join my man in bed. My dream has come true, my one love is with me... I love you, JC! Justin
So, what did you think? Please let me know if you like my story. Drop all your comments at: jc.chasez@gmx.net